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Virtue Rook Laidir, the once fun and enthusiastic Qunari hardened by time and death stood against a door, struggling with something much more complicated than just grief.
After the loss of their son, Virtue and Lucanis haven't spoken to each other. Instead they've lived separately side by side, sleeping in the same bed still but facing away, not touching.
In the beginning they didn't, they'd sleep separately from each other, but after awhile they couldn't take it and slept together again, but their communication lacked greatly.
And it was all Virtue's fault. For someone so determined to fix and make everything good, they had no idea how to fix his marriage.
If Virtue wasn't so racked with guilt, by the loss of his friend Lace Harding, and his mentor, Varric thethras, he would have never went to Solas, someone he despised, for help.
Solas and Virtue studied together, constantly, researching Time travel to bring their friends back. Solas was open to helping because he found the topic interesting, despite deeming it impossible. To hold such a power would be formidable.
Lucanis was unaware of their research, but he trusted Virtue. He trusted his husband with the god that used blood magic to connect himself to Virtue, knowing that Virtue was smart enough to fall for any tricks. He wouldn't have stopped virtue from his studies if he knew, but maybe it would have never happened.
Eventually, Solas and Virtue got somewhere in their experiments. A rift in the veil was created, the shimmering green was... Familiar, to Solas.
And just at that moment, Virtue and Lucanis's son, Rucrio Dellamorte came running into the room, just about to tell his father about dinner being ready, but his steps took him too far to be able to stop himself as he went through the rift, closing behind him.
Solas and Virtue were devastated, and of course he couldn't keep things a secret anymore from his wife. Lucanis felt betrayed, he was at a loss for words, towards virtue at least.
Solas and Virtue decided to end their studies on time travel. The decision never felt right to Virtue, especially knowing his son was in the fade, or at least that's where he thought he was.
The space between Virtue and Lucanis grew exponentially, the previously clingy and 'perfect' couple now being asked if they've divorced.
Virtue has missed his wife greatly, trying to figure out how to apologize every single day. There's a lot of free time in an empty home.
Virtue noticed how Lucanis began to stop sleeping at night again, a habit Virtue helped him stop many years ago. He would always spot him with a coffee in hand, but it's not like he could say anything.
Despite not saying a word to each other,living in silence, they'd still take care of their Wyvern, Raven, together. Lucanis would often leave a meal out for Virtue.
One night, Virtue couldn't sleep. Lucanis was awake too, so he went outside with a couple bottles. He looked up towards the stars, sitting in the grass as he drank. He passed out there.
When he woke, he didn't feel the cold bite of the outside air, there was plush covering him as he was in bed, tucked in. He sat there for awhile as the morning light came through the windows.
He left his room, there was breakfast sitting out on the table in his usual spot. Virtue sighed, this way of living was almost torturous. He ate it of course, it was cold but good, as all of Lucanis' cooking was. Virtue is a very picky eater, but Lucanis seemed to always listen and find ways around it. He never judged him for it like many have, even with Lucanis's personal love for food.
After finishing the food and cleaning up the space, he paced around for a bit, thinking of what to say to Lucanis.
After awhile Lucanis entered the kitchen, holding groceries. Virtue stopped pacing to look over to him, even during their current argument, the beauty of his wife never failed to make him feel warm. Lucanis glanced over to Virtue, they locked eyes for a moment, Virtue could see the shock and worry in his face, it almost made him wonder how he himself looked.
Lucanis was the first to break eye contact, putting the groceries away. Virtue never took his eyes off him. Lucanis began to leave the room, but Virtue was behind him, grabbing onto his wrist. An audible gasp came out of Lucanis as he looked back.
Neither of them said anything, just staring into each other's eyes. Virtues heart raced, eyes wide with fear as he tried to search for something, anything to say to Lucanis.
But he waited for him to find them.
"I'm sorry." Virtues voice was quiet and shaky, but it was something Lucanis hasn't heard in a long time. "I never wanted this."
Lucanis's eyes looked sad as he listened. He fully turned to Virtue, holding the hand that grabbed his. His gaze didn't meet the others for a moment. Then he rested his forehead against Virtue's collarbone. Virtue wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller man, as if he was scared that if he let go, Lucanis wouldn't be there anymore.
"I never stopped loving you, I need you to know that." Lucanis whispered. Virtue smiled as a tear threatened to fall. "But that doesn't mean I wasn't angry at you either."
"I know." Virtue rasped out. "I couldn't take the silence anymore, the grief of losing our son and you was too much."
"You never lost me. I was always here." Lucanis moved back slightly to look up at virtue, the tears falling down his face now visible. Virtue absent-mindedly brought his hand up to wipe the tears away. "I just want to be together again, with you, it hurts less."
"I feel the same. Without you I felt like half of a whole."
"Our son could still be out there. You were studying time travel, was it? Maybe it worked."
"The chances of that are little..."
"But not zero, it's worth a shot."
Virtue looked away, pondering the pros and cons. He could call Solas back, and maybe this time include Lucanis in the research. But what if that makes him lose him too?
"If you wish." Virtue decided that whatever happens, he would put himself in harms way so Lucanis would stay safe. If anyone would meet the same fade as their son, it would be him. "This time we will work together."
"No more secrets?"
Virtue smiled as he held up a pinky, a childish gesture, sure, but the kind of promise he always kept. Lucanis wrapped his pinky around the Qunari's, a warm smile on his face as he went on his tippy toes to plant a quick kiss on Virtues lips.
Virtue was caught off guard by this as Lucanis then parted, walking away.
"Hey!" Virtue seemed offended and began to run after Lucanis, the smaller one laughed at him and began to pick up the pace, he got to the door of their room before Virtue grabbed him, arms wrapped around Lucanis as he spun him around once before setting him back down on the ground with a longer kiss.
They giggled for a few moments, then returned to their room, deciding to talk for a while more..