Chapter Text
There were four prostitutes murdered. Each kill had been straight to the point, a stab wound in or close enough to the heart to be fatal. While that in of itself wouldn't have warranted the BAU, the messages that were carved into the bodies were. If they wore shirts that covered their stomach, the portion had been sliced off, the unsub wanted the messages on display. The first three women had ‘I’m sorry’, the fourth had ‘I don't know how much longer’ carved into them.
“A single chunk of their hair was cut and left next to them. Yet nothing from the unsub themselves, no evidence was left. There's no signs of sexual assault either,” Garcia finished explaining.
“There's no type between them, he's probably opportunistic, he'll take any prostitute he can.” No one questioned Emily's usage of ‘he,’ they all unspokenly agreed it was most likely a man. Most cases that prostitutes were the sole victims in came from men.
“How much longer until what?” JJ referred to the fourth message.
“Until he can't control it anymore. We're dealing with a spree killer if he snaps” Rossi said.
“Then let's work quickly. Wheels up in twenty.”
It wasn't until they were on the jet to Washington that they could go over more information without the risk of wasting time. It's when Morgan revealed his skepticism. He dropped the file onto the table.
“Do we actually believe he's remorseful? There's no sign of it except for what he claims. He could just be saying that to get off easier once he's caught.” The murders themselves were quick, which could mean that the unsub didn't want it to hurt, but then why write into the victims rather than leave a note? Carving into them was a red flag that he didn't hate what he was doing. He wasn't sorry. At least Morgan didn't believe he was.
“I think he's being honest. The inclusion ‘I’m sorry’ instead of just ‘sorry’ implies a deeper connection. Someone who's faking remorse wouldn't waste time to put ‘I’. Putting ‘I’ may even upset them if they're egotistical or it may go against the point of the killings.” It was impossible to determine the honesty with what they were given, they decided to just take it face value from the unsub's perspective and humor that he was apologetic. Something like a psychological break could be behind his need to kill despite his lack of wanting to. They kept the option that he lying open though just in case.
Unsurprisingly, the victims were killed sometime during the night, likely during their work hours. The thing was, if that had been the case then how come none of the other properties saw? Sex workers tended to stick together, for their own individual safety as well as each others. It would've been hard for the unsub to get one of them alone without actually paying for their time. But the murders happened outside an alleyway, not in private. The unsub had to be someone who looked trustworthy, maybe even frequented the area.
Emily, Reid, and JJ were sent to see if they could talk to any of the victims friends and coworkers. Reid noticed that the area seemed familiar but seeing as they've done a few cases in Washington, the thought left quickly.
The distant sense of deja-vu likely held no meaning.
They didn't get much information, no one had seen much.
With a few insights, they went back to the precinct. Morgan, Rossi, and Hotch had just gotten back from interviewing the families.
“This is clearly his way of asking for help but he hasn't made any means of contact. Should we let the media in on the case? It might help him reach out”
“It doesn't seem like attention is his motivation” Emily agreed with Rossi.
JJ got to work on that while the others continued to piece together a profile.
Another body directed their work elsewhere. It was fresh and only minutes away from the precinct. This time the body wasn't left as out in the open as the others had been. Likely due to the fact it was still bright out. Someone who walked by, happened to look in that direction and called it in. The female was dressed casually, either not on the clock or simply not a prostitute, but the latter meant the unsub was already deviating.
‘Dirty’ was scrawled into her, but there was a note too. BAU was titled on the folded front. It looked like a torn sheet of notebook paper that had been formed into a makeshift card. Inside had obviously been quickly written.
‘You know me. We've seen each other before while you guys were on a case. Sorry for disappointing.’ All these apologies and not a single action showing it. This time though the apology wasn't shown on the body, it was an insult. If the victim was a prostitute, then the unsub was down the route of thinking that he's doing a favor by cleaning up the streets. There's been far too many cases with a similar mindset.
When they were back at the precinct, they went over it more. JJ added the note to their evidence collection. Which was extremely scarce.
“Could it be a past unsub?” It was the first thing the note made Morgan think of. They didn't mutually engage with many others outside of the unsubs directly. Officers they've worked with and people they've interviewed or interrogated were too many to be a viable option. Hotch got Garcia on the phone to get a search going.
“Do any past unsubs fit so far?” Emily asked after there had been a few clicks and silence on the other end. Prostitutes may be a common go-to victim but doing so with absolutely no type and cutting their were both unique enough to narrow it down.
“One person shows up, Ronald Weems. He isn't the guy though, he has life in prison. There's no release, parole, or attempted escape on his record.”
“Someone's impersonating him,” Hotch said simply. There hadn't been anything ‘impressive’ about his method or case that would encourage someone to copy.
“Maybe Ronald had a partner or kid who's taking up his legacy because he thinks he has to?” JJ suggested.
“It could explain the reluctance” Emily agreed.
“But why now?”
Rossi noticed that Reid was lost in thought. He'd say he was the best at noticing it when it happened. No one could ever tell what was going on in his head or what hf thought process was most of the time but they typically bore fruit. It was impressive how often he could come to accurate conclusions off of nothing. Which was really what they needed with the time ticking before their unsub snapped.
“What are you thinking about?”
“He’s not directly related to Weem’s case but.. Garcia, is Nathan Harris still in the hospital? He knew their hair was cut and called them ‘dirty’. It would make sense why there’s no specific type, Nathan didn’t care about that, he just had the urge to kill” Reid explained even if there was a chance he was wrong. It was better to exhaust all options. He hoped he wasn't right. He tried to keep his tone neutral, a level of indifference was needed on cases.
“He was supposed to be released if good behavior continued but there were always setbacks and.. he escaped recently. No one’s been able to find him” she relayed sadly, “is it really him?”
“It’s possible. Thank you, Garcia” Hotch hung up. Reid’s theory was the most plausible at the moment but she didn’t need to know until they had further evidence. It seemed most likely that it was Nathan, now that Reid mentioned it. The connections were there.
Hotch made a mental note to keep an eye on Reid and Garcia as they continued. He didn’t know fully, but he could tell Reid empathized with the young man. It had been obvious from when they first dealt with Nathan. Children or teens involved in cases were universally harder to manage emotionally. Morgan eyed Reid, filling Hotch’s assumption that Reid felt bad about Nathan’s case.
Reid hoped it wasn't him.
Nathan was torn between hoping no one suspected him and finally getting caught.
It was exhilarating as it was frightening.
He still couldn't believe he actually had done it. He was five victims in. Five dirty whores tidied from the streets. It had been a mere fantasy years ago but he was actually fulfilling it. Doctors had told him the urges would go away on it's own but they'd been wrong. He knew that acting on them was the best way to make everything quiet.
As much peace as it brought him, he felt guilty. Less to the prostitutes and more to the person he was betraying by going through with each murder. He hadn't enjoyed the first one. It was bad and shameful. He wanted to stop. He wanted Dr. Reid to know he's sorry. Still does.
He knew Reid was smart. He wanted to believe that he'd be able to figure out his note and pinpoint that it was him. He still has doubts though. What if Reid didn't figure it out? What if someone got accused? He didn't want someone innocent to get blamed. Dr. Reid had once thought he was salvageable, he was wrong about that, there was a good chance he was wrong about the note too.
Not knowing whether or not the message got across made him anxious. So much so that he felt like he needed to do more. Be more obvious or at least more direct. He willed himself to have patience, he didn't want to draw suspicion.
Reid remembered the way Nathan’s life threatened to fade beneath his grip on his bleeding arms. He remembered how he stayed with dried blood on his hands until Gideon drove him home. The towel the ambulance gave him did little to clean. He remembered staring down at his hands distractedly. Gideon was never good at comfort. Before the car ride, Reid had told him that he was worried he saved someone who was going to end up killing others in the future, Gideon’s response was, if it came to that, ‘then you catch him’.
He wasn’t the most comforting. Reid didn’t hold it against him. He still took comfort in him in the same roundabout way.
Reid sometimes went back to that night. Whenever he thought about all the unsubs who he felt bad about, the children he saw die or just barely saved, he always remembered Nathan and how desperate he'd been to understand himself.
If Nathan was the unsub, his fate swung between going back to a mental institution or prison. Reid honestly didn't know if a hospital or ward was a good idea anymore. He had the resources and years to get better. It wasn't a good sign if he's only gotten worse.
“Morgan, Reid, go to the site of the newest body.” There was a fresh one that greeted them when morning came. The unsub killed throughout the night. There had been police at the previous murder sites to keep guard but that didn't stop the unsub from finding a new spot.
“Are you worried that it might be Nathan?” Morgan asked carefully while driving. Reid knew this conversation was coming, he just hadn't known who'd from.
“I mean, I’m willing to accept it, I just kind of hope it not him. He was so scared last time.. I thought he was getting help”
“Some people can’t be helped,” Morgan said gently, “if he does turn out to be the unsub, just know it isn’t your fault. None of this is. You did more than enough to help him.”
The newest body was the most gruesome. The others had been pretty mediocre and that made sense if it was Nathan. He was a new killer. He was just trying to silence the voice in his head that said he needed to rid prostitutes from the street. There was nothing carved, not that was legible at least. The whole stomach was scratched over.
It was as if someone was erasing something without having an eraser. Scribbling to disregard the message. Beneath the slashes there were some corners that looked like they may be from a letter but it was nowhere near enough to be able to read. Even for Reid.
The unsub regretted writing whatever he wrote.
“He’s sloppy but he doesn’t leave evidence”
“Gideon profiled back then that if Nathan killed it would’ve been organized and efficient. Aside from the mental break our unsub seems to be going through, it definitely fits the profile” Reid said, more detached than he actually felt.
Nathan had outright carved ‘Reid’. He chickened out before he could fully walk away from the scene. The sight of his name bloodied into skin, let alone of someone so dirty, made him queasy. He frantically scratched over it with a blade. Reid didn't need to see his name like that, he was too kind and traumatized to see that.
He lingered around the area, forcing himself to look busy and casual. He didn't stay close to the murder, obviously, but he was within walking distance. There hadn't been any suspects as far as the media was informed. No one knew it was him. He assumed the police and FBI didn't know either then.
That was good.
Or maybe bad. He needed to confront Reid to get rid of the last sticking bit of guilt he had.
Reid had been so nice to him. Even if he was a weird, scary, child who liked to write avout killing prostitutes and had murderous urges. Reid still spoke kindly and not like he was a freak. He still tried to help, even if he was actively working a case.
He even saved his life. In more ways than one.
Getting in contact with the doctor was a lot harder than it'd been the first time.
It happened on accident, funnily enough, despite how long he'd taken actually trying to make their paths cross. Nathan was refreshing the news on his phone when he bumped into someone also on theirs.
“Sorry”
“Sorry”
It took them both seconds to register.
“Oh.. Dr. Reid, sorry, I wasn’t looking” he said casually, there was only a slight tinge of nerves that a normal person would miss. Not an experienced profiler. Nathan ignored that realization. Perhaps the trembling in his voice had always been there.
“No, it’s fine, the same could be said about me.” Nathan didn’t seem to know that he was a suspect. It made sense, Hotch didn’t want the media to know yet, they still didn't have solid evidence about who it was. Nathan was just their best lead. “I didn’t know you were out, I’m sorry I wasn’t there. Would you like to catch up?”
“Yeah, actually.”
Reid sent one last text to Morgan saying that he found Nathan and wouldn't be back for a bit. He had done so under guise of saying that he was just making sure the team didn't need him. His coffee run was abandoned it seemed.
Nathan had a car, one that had to have been stolen or given to him by someone else but Reid didn't comment on it for the sake of keeping it casual. After all, Nathan wasn't confirmed to be the unsub. This outing though, could potentially get the evidence they needed.
Morgan thought ‘genius’ was being generous when it came to names to call Reid.
He hadn't seen the message until almost an hour later. There hadn't been anymore bodies or any signs of the unsub, getting the media involved apparently hadn't drawn him out like they hoped. They were at a dead end, Morgan checked his phone just in case there was somehow a lead on it. All he found was his teammate putting himself in danger again. He told the others, if Reid had just been investigating wouldn't he be back by now? At the same time though, what were the chances a scrawny FBI agent got overpowered by, last he'd seen, a very scrawny teen? As much as he liked to tease, he was sure Reid had enough muscle to at least handle himself when it came to Nathan.
“Unless he's taken by surprise?”
“Or if he doesn't want to fight him.” JJ and Emily unintentionally fueled his worries.
“We're not even sure Nathan's the unsub though, right? Like there's still a chance he's just a runaway” Garcia was hopeful. She didn't sympathize as much with Nathan as Reid did but after his attempt the last time they saw each other, she grew fond of him to some extent. It'd make her sad if it was actually him, he had so much potential to do good. He was getting help. The others thought differently and let the conversation end on a hopeful note.
All of them texted or called Reid. If Nathan wasn't the unsub, then he should be able to answer. Nathan knew he was an agent, he'll understand that he's on a case and needed to answer.
None of them got a reply.
“Nathan, you don’t have to do this”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” the younger man paced, tears welled in his eyes. There was a blade in his grasp but it wasn't a confident hold. He was scared of it. Scared of himself.
Scared of what he was going to do with it.
“I believe you, I do, I know you don't want to do this, you’ll regret it if you do. So please let me go and I'll help you.” His head was bleeding, he was partially sure it had slowed down to a stop or near stop. Nathan had hit him hard with a bat when he entered. He had a metal one stashed out of view right by the door of his hotel. Reid entered after him without much thought, which proved to be a mistake.
“You can’t help me! I’ve been with people who claimed to help me for years already and none of it worked. I can’t get better, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.. I know you tried to help me but I’m broken, I can’t be helped. And now I’m going to kill you” he said meekly. Logically, he clearly didn't want to. Emotionally though, something was urging him to.
“Why are you going to kill me?” Reid asked softly. He wasn’t a prostitute, he wasn’t even a female, he didn’t fit the victimology. Yeah Nathan was unstable but deviating had seemed unlikely.
“..I don't know. I just really want to” he said honestly, sadly, “it’s not in the way I want to kill the prostitutes, you’re not dirty. I just.. think it would be nice to see you bleed.”
Reid was usually quick to reply and work around unsubs but he didn't have a reassuring reply for that. It took him seconds longer than usual to find something to say.
“Nathan, please don’t do this. If you cooperate I can see what I can do about not sending you to prison” he didn't know how factual that promise was but it didn't matter at this point.
“I’ll be put back in a hospital though, won’t I?” Reid couldn’t reply, they both knew the answer. Nathan shook his head. Prison, mental hospital, they were the same really. Any place they'd send him would be bad, he knew that. He’d be locked up either way and both lead to a depressing life.
Hopefully his next life is better.
Hopefully theirs.