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Rowen closes the front door behind them. They know that Martlet is definitely deep asleep at this time of the night, so they don't bother closing it quietly.
Martlet... she tries her best, but... sometimes, her home feels suffocating. Her loving warmth can't always stave off the feeling that it's a place Rowen shouldn't be in. That it isn't truly their home. Some nights, they just have to get out of there.
Rowen stops in front of the apartment complex where they used to live with Gaige. Their old apartment is still vacant, so that's where Rowen usually goes when they feel this way. But for whatever reason, Rowen feels a sick feeling in their stomach tonight. They know that going in there would feel just as suffocating as Martlet's home.
Rowen turns around, and starts walking away, to the south. They don't know where they're going, they just want to get away from this place.
When they lived with Gaige... were things really that different from how they are now? For a long time, Rowen had believed that they had been happy during that time, but... is that actually true? It's been so long, they struggle to remember if they were truly happy, back then.
Maybe they've always been this... broken.
Rowen feels a tingling sensation around their sternum. It's a familiar feeling.
Even though they had torn out their SOUL mere minutes ago, and could still feel the faint burning feeling in their lungs that always comes after the exhaustion, they feel the need to hurt themselves again.
Rowen stops walking, and looks around nervously. There's no one else here.
Normally, they only do this in their bedroom. But they're feeling the urge especially strongly, and they don't want to go back to Martlet's house right now.
Rowen raises their arm, stretches their fingers out, and takes a deep breath.
They plunge their hand into their chest, and pull. It's a practiced motion. They've become very familiar with the best way to do it over the years.
As always, they feel a sharp, agonizing pain. Good. That's what they want. That's what they always want. The thing that is Rowen deserves pain.
They pull, and their hand comes out, tightly gripping a yellow heart shaped object. Rowen's SOUL. The "culmination of their being". Normally, when they look at it, they feel disgust. Hatred. But now…
Rowen looks up. Just to their left is the old statue of the Angel.
They stagger over to the statue. Moving with their SOUL out is painful, but it's manageable.
Rowen holds the SOUL out, between themself and the statue, and lets go. It floats there, glowing, but motionless.
Yesterday, that darkner, "Holy Joe", had spoken to the Angel through their SOUL. He said that Rowen was it's messenger.
Before that, he had also said that Rowen was not the Cage from the Prophecy, but... he was a blasphemer. A traitor who sought to overthrow the Angel. Surely he was lying, or had become blind to the truth.
Rowen looks into their SOUL. For so long, they had despised it. Not only was it a symbol of themself, it's existence was an insult. It was a perfectly normal human SOUL, but Rowen knew that they were something lesser. A thing that hurts those around them, an unjust burden that ruins the lives of good people.
The fact that they had a normal SOUL had felt like a mockery. Like the universe itself was telling them that they had no reason to be how they are.
But now, Rowen knows the truth. They are a vessel of the Angel itself. They were never meant to be a person. They are a cage, a hollow vessel for something pure, something righteous.
The Angel, that holy being of light... it will bring them redemption. As long as they continue to be a vessel for the Angel's justice, it's light will cleanse them of their wretched nature.
Rowen looks at the SOUL, and the statue behind it. They smile.
"Thank you…"
The SOUL remains inert.
But that's okay. Rowen doesn't need a response. They know the truth.
After all, how could they be anything else than a vessel?
