Chapter Text
They had been walking since yesterday. They had been walking for a week straight. They had been walking since tomorrow, since Tuesday, since the dawn of time, since forever ago.
Time meant nothing here. They were just… walking. One foot in front of the other in a rhythmic nothingness that was set to continue until they reached their next destination, whenever that was.
“Jon-“
Martin grabbed his shoulder.
“What?”
“I need to stop.”
Relief- as much as could be felt here- washed over him. Gratitude for Martin’s companionship was just as much of an underlying constant for Jon as all the fear and torment in this place.
“Good idea.”
He sat down on a patch of ground next to his boyfriend.
Quiet wasn’t something you could attain when the wind was made of screams, and Jon’s brain was never quiet with all the visions and thoughts and knowledge in his mind, but he let his head fall against Martin’s shoulder and tried his best to rest all of his eyes.
They sat, not talking, for a while. And no time at all. And days.
Then, Martin spoke.
“I was thinking…”
“Yes?”
“About Elias.”
“Oh?”
Jon lifted his head and examined Martin’s face.
“H-he could put thoughts in my head.”
“Martin, what he did to you, that- that was not right. I’m so sorry.”
“No, that’s not what I was talking about…” Martin paused, seemingly wondering how to phrase his next point, “Could he put… fake things? Could he alter the information? Does it have to be true, or-? I-I mean he was an expert liar and manipulator, he could’ve-“
Jon grabbed Martin’s hand and squeezed it, “Martin, listen… the stuff that he made you see? It was all true, I’m sorry.”
“No, I-“ Martin sighed, “I know that. I know, Jon. But that’s… that’s not what I mean. I mean-“ He took a deep breath, “Could he have, hypothetically speaking, put information in somebody’s head that was fake? That was completely made up, maybe drawn from reality, but-“
Jon thought about this. He let the information seep into his head, grasping for an answer.
He was silent for a long time. And for one second. And for yesterday.
“I think… yes?” He said, “I suppose he could’ve, actually. I mean- what he made you see? That was somebody else’s thoughts. If he could do that, he could project his own thoughts into your brain, maybe an imagined reality. It- it might not seem quite real, but perhaps… it could work. He could do it.”
“… Could you?”
“I… I can. I mean… I can’t see possible outcomes, and I can’t see the future, but I can definitely project into your mind. I did it to Not-Sasha, and I did it to Jude Perry. I mostly made them feel fear, but I imagine…” He trailed off, “Why? What is this for, Martin?”
“You mean, you can’t look inside my head?” Martin asked with a smile.
“You asked me not to!”
“Fair enough. I just… I was wondering. Not that I’m not enjoying experiencing endless horrors with you… but I can’t dream. Without a need to sleep there’s no escape from all of this, and I just- I want to be free. Even if it’s just fleeting. Could you do it? Could you somehow make me Know of a fantasy world where none of this-” he gestured around him, “Ever happened? Just pure fluff and joy? It might be hard to conceive of right now, but… but could you?”
Martin’s soft blue eyes were big and round and wet, like a pleading, hopeful puppy dog. But examining his face further, Jon could see that he looked so tired- the lines on his face were creased with exhaustion, and he had a… broken expression. The small spark of optimism in his visage seemed to only make the whole thing sadder, and Jon could feel his own heart break slightly at seeing the person he loved so desperate.
“Look, Martin, I know we’re trying to stop all this… but we might not be able to. It might not work and we might be stuck in this hellscape forever. We probably are, knowing our luck, but-“ he sighed, “If you need a respite- because god knows I do- I’d been happy to provide one, if I can. It’s the least I can do.”
“Could- could you give it to yourself, if-?“
“No…. I know too much. I need- I can’t block myself from knowing that it was fake.”
“Right. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
“I can’t say it won’t be hard waking up afterwards, and realising-“
“I know.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
Martin took a deep breath, “Yes. Yes, I’m sure.”
“I don’t know the specifics, what it would feel like, or what would happen. You might end up experiencing it all from my perspective, there might be some… plotholes, I guess? And all that information at once might not be in any chronological order. You sure you’re okay with that?”
Martin nodded.
“Alright then.”
He held Martin close to him, and whispered softly in his ear, “Now, close your eyes… Lie down… This will be painless…”