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The small room, illuminated by the moonlight alone, felt even more cramped as it dawned upon him that this could be the last time they sat together, side by side, like this.
It had been a long time since Gion had bent over with laughter, and the cause was none other than the person beside him.
Truly, there were so many pleasant things to remember about the past.
And, by coincidence or not, every single one of them involves the grey-haired man, currently grinning from ear to ear as he rambled on about something.
Gion didn't remember what the topic was. He couldn't. He was so focused on observing the way his companion's eyes curved in delight, the way the corner of his lips lifted every so often as he spoke, that it drowned out Livio's own voice.
He wanted to cherish these last few moments. He had to. He didn't know if they would ever meet again in the future, so he needed this. Need to engrave Livio's whole existence into his mind so that it couldn't ever be erased, no matter how hard he tried.
And finally, the night had come to its end. Just like how everything else ends.
Just like how this was where 'Livio and Gion' ends.
A choked sob threatened to escape Gion, yet he refused to let it show. Calm as ever, he turned to look at his dearest companion one last time. Once he steps out of this room, there will no longer be anything tying them together. Nothing for Gion to hold on to this person anymore.
Livio had been taken away from him many years ago and returned a few years later. Back then, he couldn't keep Livio to himself because of how powerless he was. Now, he had all the power a crown prince could have, and Livio got taken away from him all the same, with no way for him to keep it from happening.
If there are no differences between the past and present… if this still happens despite how strong Gion shaped himself to be… does that mean he was meant to lose Livio since the very beginning anyway, no matter what?
Alas… he was a fool. A fool for thinking that he could keep Livio by his side for as long as he wants it to be. A fool for thinking that if they're by each other's side long enough, then perhaps there would come a day when Gion could finally muster up the courage to confess what feeling he had been harboring for Livio all this while.
That day wouldn't come.
Tears welled up in his eyes, and he couldn't be any more grateful that the surroundings were dark. He stood beside the door, feet just a mere inch away from leaving the room. As he turned his head to look at his companion, all he could see was the silhouette of Livio's lean and tall figure, festive light from the school ground beaming merrily behind him.
Deep in his heart, he mourned that he couldn't see his companion's expression. What could Livio be feeling right now? Relief? Anguish? At peace?
He couldn't bring himself to ask.
In the gloomy room, Gion caught sight of a smile. A small, humble one. The man brought a hand to his chest, bowing his head.
"Do take care, Gion."
Gion didn't say anything. If he had, then he feared that the last of his defense would crumble, and he would break down right here and now—perhaps even resorting to begging Livio to just do something, anything… not willingly succumbing to such a fate so easily like this.
…but he wasn't any better, was he?
If he were, then he wouldn't stand here so pathetically; not even a word was spoken as he let the silence continue to engulf them.
His gaze didn't leave Livio.
"Arrivederci."
Gion's body flinches as he wakes up with a start, those memories from the past vividly replaying in his head. He groans weakly, hands wandering around on the soft mattress. And then, his eyes snap open.
The right side of the bed is empty. Cold, even.
Gion immediately rises from the bed, lazily stretching his limbs before heading towards the door. His eyes are still squinted, gradually adjusting to the bright lights peeking in from the curtain. When he catches sight of the clock, it shows 8 in the morning, which is quite late compared to the time he usually wakes up.
The man ruffles his brown hair, "Ah, this is why we shouldn't sleep late," he sighs.
However, his partner, who slept at the same time as him, had woken up way earlier (judging by how his bedside lacks warmth) and let him sleep longer. Gion clicks his tongue, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "He knew I hate oversleeping, yet he keeps on doing this," he mutters, but there's no actual annoyance in his voice.
His hand digs under his shirt, lightly scratching his belly. With a gentle pull, the door creaks open, and more lights get into the room. Gion rubs his eyes in discomfort.
Once the slight pain in his eyes clears away, Gion finally registers the state of the living room. From the pieces of paper lying around, to tapes and scissors placed carelessly at random spots on the floor, to the source of the mess himself: a man sitting in the middle of the chaos, so focused on his own matter that he doesn't even notice Gion's presence.
"Livio."
Gion calls softly.
The man in question flinches, slowly turning his head in Gion's direction. An awkward smile appears on his lips, "G-Gion! When did you wake up?" he immediately gets on his feet, hopping to Gion's side. "Have you washed up yet? The breakfast is ready, by the way. I made—"
"What even are you doing?"
Gion's voice is calm, but enough to make a man shudder in fear. Livio, however, doesn't seem so affected. A dry laughter escapes him as he stands in front of Gion, preventing his partner from seeing the abomination any longer.
Gion deadpans and steps aside, peeking at what keeps Livio so occupied this early in the morning. And in the midst of crumpled papers, Gion sees…
"…pumpkin origamis?"
"Ah…."
Livio scratches his cheeks. "Well, it's Halloween anyway. Those kids in this neighborhood will surely come here, right? I need to prepare something to welcome them," he explains, carefully eyeing Gion's shift of expression in the meantime.
The shorter man stares at the papers, then at Livio, then back at the papers again. He lets out a low hum. "At least wake me up and let me help out, too. You're not going to finish by tonight at this rate," at that, Livio chuckles in embarrassment.
Later, Gion leaves to take a bath and comes back not long after to have breakfast with his partner. Livio is chatty as always, blabbering about his encounter with the neighborhood kids at the park while doing groceries this morning. Kids around here love Livio, naturally, due to his calm demeanor and how patient he is when dealing with the kids' demands. Even the moms in this area adore Livio, to the point of planning on introducing Livio to their daughters.
In which, every time such a thing happens, Livio's reply will always be the same: "Sorry, but I belong to someone else already."
Of course, he's so polite with it that it never makes any of the aunts here pester him further. Gion takes pride in that, knowing that his partner never gives false hope to anyone.
"How many of these do you want to do?"
Gion asks as he places another pumpkin among the many lines of origami pumpkins staring back at him with a wide, eerie grin.
Livio tilts his head in a carefree manner. "As many as we can? Or until we run out of candies!" he exclaims while stuffing a handful of wrapped candies inside one of the origami pumpkins.
How festive, Gion thinks. His hands never stop moving, adding more and more pumpkins to the lineup.
At that moment, a thought occurs to him. He lets go of the orange paper and turns to Livio. "Isn't today… You know…?" his words hang in the air, unsure whether such a topic should be brought up when Livio is looking so relaxed right now.
Livio lifts his brows. A smile is instantly plastered on his face, understanding what Gion is trying to ask. "Ah, the grave visit? Let's go after lunch. Afterward, we can also stop by some shops to look for tonight's outfit. What do you want to be, Gion?" under his breath, he mutters, "I can't see you as anything other than a vampire."
The grey-haired man leans closer to Gion, inspecting his partner carefully. Gion feels heat creeping into his face under that warm gaze. He looks away in an instant, "Yeah, yeah. Vampire it is."
Gion hears the other man chuckle playfully as he shifts back to his original position. He doesn't notice when he tenses up, but he realizes he loosens up before he knows it. His eyes meet Livio's again. Livio doesn't look away, only returning the gaze with that oh-so-sweet smile of his.
"What's wrong, Gion?"
Gion shakes his head. "No, just… well…" instinctively, a hand moves up to rub his nape, a habit of his when he's nervous. He shifts his gaze to the pumpkins—anywhere but directly looking at Livio, actually. "You used to be so against Halloween back then, so…" he purses his lips. Saying anything more than this might probably bring up a bitter memory.
Silence.
Not hearing any reaction from the other man, Gion lifts his head. He expects Livio to have that usual pained smile, but what meets his sight at the moment is no different than how Livio looks now. Always that damn gentle expression.
Livio chuckles and returns his attention to the origami paper he had folded halfway. As he works on the origami, he speaks, "Hehe. It was like… what, years ago? How long has it been…" he mutters, almost to himself.
Without waiting for Gion's reply, he continues, "I no longer hold any resentment towards Halloween, Gion. Further hatred only proves how much my past shackles me, and that's something I'd like to be freed of."
Gion shifts his gaze to the origami paper. The way Livio folds the paper is different than what they'd been doing for the past few hours.
Livio glances at Gion briefly, a grin still on his face, "Halloween reminds me of nothing but pain, Gion. That's how it had always been in the past. But, as I was saying, I won't let my past shackles me anymore. And, more importantly, someone had completely redefined Halloween for me."
The man gently holds Gion's wrist and brings it closer to him. "Now, Halloween still brings me some feeling of grief, of course, but a new feeling follows it. A warm, pleasant one that still makes me feel so giddy to this day just by thinking of it. It's all thanks to you, Gion. And for that…"
Livio places the finished origami in Gion's hand. When Gion tilts his head down, he sees not a pumpkin origami, but a heart-shaped one made of pink paper. Gion's head snaps up to look at Livio, who's now smiling so happily with a hint of red decorating his fair skin.
Before Gion knows it, Livio's hands cradle his face gently.
"…happy anniversary, my love,"
The soft, warm touch of Livio's lips lands on Gion's briefly. Livio chuckles at Gion's dumbfounded face, pinching his lover's cheeks fondly. "Gion, your face is red. Haha."
Gion falls silent at that remark. He purses his lips, intertwining his hands with Livio's. "Oh, so you do remember," he says almost spitefully. At that, he receives another wave of low laughter from Livio.
"I said it to you right after midnight, Gion. But perhaps you were too sleepy at that time that you didn't hear me. But I swear on our relationship—"
"Don't just swear on our relationship."
"—that I won't ever forget what happened on Halloween years ago that completely changes how I feel towards this day," Livio continues anyway, despite the sharp glare thrown at him. Gion rolls his eyes. He moves his arms, letting them wrap around Livio's shoulder. Their faces are so close together now that Gion can practically feel the gentle breeze of Livio's breath against his face.
Livio leans forward, planting another kiss on his lover's nose. Gion shuts his eyes, enjoying the affectionate gesture as his fingers play with the strands of Livio's hair.
A while later, Gion opens his eyes again and sees Livio's gaze still on him. He begins to feel a bit bashful, despite them already having been dating each other for years. Yet, the thought of pulling away never crosses his mind.
…….
The change of atmosphere is too hard to ignore. Livio's gaze has shifted into something… else… and Gion is sure that he's looking at Livio with the same eyes, too.
"What about visiting your mother?" Gion asks, almost playfully.
Livio pulls back slightly, tapping his chin. "Hmm… there is still a lot of time before lunch, right?"
At the reply, Gion chuckles lightly. "Yeah, there's still a lot of time."
In the next moment, Livio leans down once again, stealing the air from his lover's breath. Gion tightens his hold on Livio, almost as if he's afraid that this happy moment would end instantly if he lets go.
Gion feels a careful hand gently caressing his waist, and it effectively calms Gion's anxious mind.
Once the kiss ends, Livio leans his forehead on Gion's shoulder.
"It's fine, Gion. I'm not going anywhere."
He locks their fingers together.
"There's still a lot of time for us."
Livio watched helplessly as Gion's figure disappeared behind the door. He was quite disappointed that the other man didn't even bother to say any last word for this farewell, but that's just how he had always been.
He wondered what the stoic man was feeling now. Livio had always been nothing more than a burden in Gion's life, so pretty sure Gion would feel glad now, right?
That's good…
…
…it's not.
Livio clenched his fist. This couldn't be the end for them, right? He still had something to say. A very important thing. Something he had been keeping a secret despite his agreement with Gion that there are no secrets between them.
In the dark room, Livio felt his heartbeat clearly. This heart that had always longed for the one it wanted, yet could never have. Just like this? They're being separated again, and this time, who knows when they will reunite—and Livio was going to continue letting this feeling unsaid, just like that?
Livio gritted his teeth. After a moment of consideration, he made up his mind and walked straight to the door.
"At least… at least I won't regret this. No matter what he's going to react to this, I just want to let this out…" he stopped in front of the door, hand already on the doorknob.
Would Gion still be behind this door? He doubted it. Why would Gion stay here? The festival was still going on, so of course, Gion had more important things to do.
With a deep breath, he pulled open the door…
…and caught sight of Gion, still standing in front of the door.
Gion stiffened, clearly not expecting Livio to come out this quickly. And Livio, too, froze at the sight. This wasn't new, but Livio had only seen this expression on Gion's face once—from way long ago—he hadn't expected to see this sight again tonight (or rather, ever).
Gion, bloodshot eyes staring back at Livio in surprise. His cheeks were drenched with the flowing tears, which seemed to still flow down from his eyes.
There was only silence between them for those few seconds. And then—
A hand gripped Livio's.
Livio winced. "Gion, are you o—"
"I love you."
Gion's voice cracked. There was no longer shock in his eyes. What was displayed in front of Livio now was the same Gion he had seen back then. Quivered lips, desperate eyes as he looked at Livio as if he was beyond afraid of the idea of losing him.
Anxious about Livio's silence, Gion spoke again. "I'm sorry. I know this would ruin everything between us, but even so, I can't lose you again," he gulped. "Will you return to me?"
Livio was still in a daze. He felt everything at once, that it took him this long to finally register what Gion had just said. His lips trembled as he tried to find the correct words to say.
"…Gion."
He placed his hands on Gion's face, wiping the tears away. "I will, Gion. I'll try," he said gently. And without warning, he pulled Gion into his embrace. The shorter man yelped in surprise, but he didn't push Livio away.
"I don't want to lose you, too, Gion. Not again. I'll do my best to return, so promise me that you'll wait for me no matter how long, okay?" he muttered softly beside Gion's ears. He could feel the slight nod of Gion's head against his shoulder.
And then, in a lower voice.
"I love you too, Gion."