Work Text:
1. He encourages others so easily, but underestimates himself.
Jackson was the first to hug him when he and Bambam became the new MCs for MCountdown.
He was the one who told Yugyeom the choreography he created for "If You Do" was amazing, and he shouldn't worry about whether the fans or company would like it, because he was a great dancer and a talented choreographer.
He encouraged Mark to speak up, and reassured him countless times that he wasn't boring, just quiet, and that was ok.
He eased Jaebum's worries about being in over his head. And told Youngjae that he did well, even when a studio recording ended in countless criticisms.
Even Bambam, who hid his worries under a smile, seemed more at ease once Jackson started showering him with compliments and encouragement.
The problem was...he never saved any of it for himself.
"I don't know if I can do this," he worried the first time he was offered a variety show appearance. "I'm not even that good in Korean, why can't you or JB go? You're part of JJ Project, everyone already knows you and your first language is Korean—!"
"Jackson." Jinyoung grabbed Jackson's face and forced him to look at him. "You'll do fine...you're the funniest out of all of us."
"But—"
"You'll. Be. Fine."
They stared at each other. Jinyoung watched Jackson's eyes soften and his shoulders relax as the worry slowly disappeared. He nodded.
"Ok."
2. When he’s sick, he insists he’s okay, even when his fever is over 37°C.
"I'm fine."
Jinyoung frowned at him. "You're using the wall to stand."
After another round of coughs, Jackson glared at him from behind his mask. They were backstage at a fansign, with everyone getting ready in their own way, and Jinyoung was nagging Jackson about participating rather than resting at home.
"I'm fine," he insisted stubbornly, pushing himself off the wall. He swayed a bit before sliding into the nearest chair. "It's just a cold."
Jinyoung raised an eyebrow. "...right."
Despite his furtive glances to Jackson throughout the fansign, waiting for the inevitable collapse, it never came. It wasn't until they slid into the van — Jackson between Yugyeom and Jinyoung in the back seat — did he finally succumb to his fever.
Feigning annoyance, Jinyoung clicked his tongue and poked Jackson's head when it landed on his shoulder.
"If you get me sick..." he threatened.
"Not sick," Jackson mumbled back, barely audible over the noise of the others settling into the van.
With a deep sigh, he buried his face into the crook of Jinyoung's neck, and slept.
Two days later, Jackson laid a hand on Jinyoung's forehead.
"Sorry for getting you sick."
If it was anyone else, they would have smiled. But Jackson looked like he had committed an egregious sin.
Jinyoung sulked up at him. "You're taking care of me today."
Jackson's expression softened into a smile, as he brushed Jinyoung's bangs from his face.
"Ok."
3. He thinks he needs to diet.
Jinyoung barely glanced away from the TV when Jackson threw himself face first onto the couch.
“I gannff toofmmmff.”
“You know I can't understand that, right?”
With a long-suffering sigh, Jackson turned his head so his face was no longer buried in the cushions.
“I gained 2 kilograms.”
“You've been working out more.” Jinyoung shrugged, more concerned about his movie.
“Exactly!” he whined, now flopping onto his back.
The top of his head brushed against Jinyoung’s thigh. He tried not to think too much about the way his hand twitched with the urge to run his hands through Jackson’s hair.
“Muscle weighs more than fat,” he said, “you know that.”
Another sigh.
“Maybe I should diet.”
The movie now reduced to background noise, Jinyoung turned to stare down at Jackson. He placed his hands on either side of Jackson's face and squished his cheeks together, forcing his lips into an exaggerated pucker.
“Listen to me.” He stared into Jackson's eyes. “You don't need to diet.”
“But—”
Jinyoung let go of his face and flicked his forehead. “You're fine just the way you are, Jackson.”
They stared at each other. Slowly, the tension eased from Jackson's expression and he smiled.
“Thanks, Jinyoung.”
His heart did a little skip, and he was sure Jackson could see the blush creeping across his cheeks. He coughed and turned back to stare at the TV.
Jackson moved to rest his head on Jinyoung's thigh. His heart did another delighted skip.
“What's this movie about?”
Jinyoung really didn't know anymore.
“...aliens...I think…”
4. He doesn't throw ANYTHING away. He can barely fit in his room now! He keeps everything. Everything.
"Who needs fifty onyx stone bracelets?!" Jinyoung asked incredulously.
"The fans gave them to me, I can't just throw them away!"
"He's got a point you know," Mark said, from where he lounged uselessly in the small space he made for himself among the junk on the lower bunk. "Imagine if our first scandal happened because Jackson cleaned his room."
"See?!" Jackson defended haughtily, snatching his Squirtle plushie (one of about 10) out of Jinyoung's hands. "I can't throw fan gifts away! They spent their money on this stuff, Jinyoung! Think about how they would feel if someone found their gifts in our trash!"
"They shouldn't even be going through our trash!"
They were supposed to be helping Jackson sort through his things. To Jinyoung, that meant getting rid of things that still had yet to leave their boxes or hadn't been worn in more than a year. To Jackson, it simply meant rearranging his room to better accommodate all of his new things.
"And do you really need to keep every sticker and pin a fan gives you? They don't expect you to keep those after you've worn them!"
"I'm sure there's a scrapbook he can put them in," Mark supplied, still maddeningly unhelpful.
Jinyoung scowled at him. "Why are you even here?"
Mark shrugged, eyes glued to his phone.
"Look..." he tried again, this time picking up a shoe box that was probably full of fan letters. "It's not that you're being insensitive, but you just don't have the room!"
He opened the box, not paying much attention to its contents as he continued. "You can donate some of the gifts or..." he trailed off as his eyes landed on an old, but familiar picture.
Oblivious, Jackson started rummaging through his snapback collection. "Look, I just have to...get more boxes, ok? It'll be fine."
Jinyoung didn't answer. He was staring at the box in his hands, full of pictures, ticket stubs, and a stupid, useless toy he'd forgotten about.
They were all pictures of them — him and Jackson. The ticket stubs were for the movies and concerts they attended together. And the toy was something out of one of those gachapon things in Japan. They must have spent nearly 1,000 yen in a single store in Akihabara on them. The one Jackson kept in the box was a Squirtle Jinyoung had given him.
"Ah!"
The box was snatched out of his hands. He looked up and saw Jackson holding it like he'd been caught with something he shouldn't have.
"Uh..." he took the lid from Jinyoung's hands. "So...yeah, I was thinking I could probably at least get rid of a few clothes."
He laughed nervously, cheeks a delicate shade of pink as he carefully placed the box in a corner, where it wouldn't accidentally be thrown out. He refused to look at Jinyoung as he started sorting through his socks.
"Yeah..." Jinyoung cleared his throat, ignoring Mark's snort behind him. "S-sure..."
In the end, they packed up a single box of mostly broken knick-knacks, a few empty perfume bottles, and a pair of shoes that didn't fit.
5. He thinks his energy is endless (sometimes I do too).
The thing about Jackson was...he knew he couldn't be in several places at once. He knew if he took a schedule in China, he would have to sacrifice one in Korea. But he still tried. He attended a fansign in Korea, flew to China for an evening variety show filming, then returned to Korea to make the next day's schedule.
He took on as many jobs as he was offered.
Even exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes, and hands shaky from the three large coffees he downed on the way to Inkigayo or Star King or some other schedule, he still smiled, and tried to make other people smile with him.
Even when his energy was waning, he tried to be the life of the party.
And Jinyoung could do nothing but worry from the sidelines.
Because he knew work made Jackson happy. He loved to make others smile. It was in the way Jackson smiled when others laughed at his jokes.
Despite the chronic state of exhaustion he seemed to live in, his energy level flipped like a switch once he was in front of the camera.
And when the camera was off, it flipped again.
When his energy finally ran out. When he was too exhausted to make it past the couch of their dorm, and collapsed face first into the pillows, Jinyoung covered him with a blanket, and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Idiot..." he sighed. "When was the last time you slept?"
He received a soft snore in response.
6. He's shamelessly obvious when he fishes for compliments (it’s kind of cute, but don’t tell him that).
“I did a good job, right?”
“This makes me more handsome, doesn't it? Tell me, I definitely look more manly like this.”
“Did you see that? I totally got it right! You saw that right?”
Most people were subtle if they were looking for a compliment. They sent nonverbal cues or asked how someone liked their hair or their new pair of jeans. They might even put themselves down first with phrases like, “I’m not that pretty” so the other person could lift them back up and reassure them they totally were.
But Jackson wasn't most people.
He pouted. Whined. Clung to whoever he was trying to drag a compliment out of...
And while Jinyoung might roll his eyes and provide him with a snarky, biting remark, he also told him that yes, he did look good. And no his thighs weren't too thick. And yes he was smart and funny and likeable...
Because it was cute.
But Jinyoung would never tell him that.
7. He thinks organic green tea is the answer to everything. Sickness, skin problems, dieting, sleep deprivation….Jackson Wang’s answer: organic green tea.
Jackson had a hard time with moderation. When he did something he went all the way. And sometimes that was an advantage — variety shows loved his over-the-top reactions and dramatic responses.
But sometimes…
“Try it.”
Jackson thrust his bottle of tea in front of Jaebum’s face.
“It's a back injury, Jackson,” Jaebum replied, rolling his eyes and pushing the bottle out of his face.
“But this is organic,” Jackson insisted. “The green tea will help you recover quicker.”
Jaebum raised an eyebrow at him from where he was propped up on a mountain of pillows in the living room.
“Ok, maybe not,” Jackson conceded, placing the bottle on the floor where Jaebum could reach it. “But it's still good for you.”
It was a small, but appreciated gesture. Jaebum knew, as frustrated as he was about being unable to complete their schedules, the members were more worried about his recovery than having to temporarily carry on as six.
He picked up the bottle and took a sip.
“Thanks.”
Jinyoung walked into the room just in time to see Jackson's face brighten into a delighted smile. Something warm and pleasant spread through him at the sight.
His eye caught Jaebum’s knowing gaze and he quickly arranged his expression into something less....love-struck.
“Come on, Jackson.” He reached out to steer him away from Jaebum, who was still watching him with his eerily sharp gaze. “We’re going to be late.”
“Drink it all!” Jackson called over his shoulder as Jinyoung shoved him through the door. “I spent good money on that tea!”
Jinyoung’s eyes caught Jaebum's again. The other was staring at him with a single quirked brow and a smirk that said, 'You're so obvious.'
Of course Jaebum knew. He always knew.
“Oh shut up,” he muttered before following after Jackson.
8. He smiles no matter how many times he's hurt or betrayed. Normal people would stop trusting the world after being deceived so many times, but not Jackson. He smiles and trusts again.
Jinyoung remembered, once, during their trainee years, the day Jackson walked in with his arms laden down in shopping bags.
Jaebum, tactlessly, told him the brutal truth: he was scammed.
The fight that followed had been enough to clear the dance room of everyone but Jinyoung and Mark, who tried in vain to keep the two from tearing into each other over bags full of bootlegged pants with "HIKE" down the pant leg.
It wasn't the first time Jackson was tricked.
It wouldn't be the last.
Sometimes it was a light joke — the members would stage something and it would all end in laughs.
Other times, Jinyoung wondered if Jackson would ever smile again.
He'd been tricked rather cruelly a few times after debut. Jinyoung laughed on camera, but the hurt in Jackson's eyes took longer to disappear than in the past.
But because it was Jackson, the laughter returned. The bright smiles were as cheerful as always. And he seemed as untouched and innocent as ever.
Jinyoung asked him once, how he could trust so easily. Being in the spotlight meant secrets had to be carefully guarded. How could Jackson so easily trust someone with his friendship when that person could run to the first reporter with enough cash? How could he trust someone not to break his heart? To use him for his name? His connections?
Jackson just smiled.
"Once you've stopped trusting people, you've lost to them."
9. He’s too selfless. He will make sure everyone is fed, rested, and healthy, and forget to save any of that concern for himself.
Jinyoung smiled up at the girl who nervously laid her album in front of him. He asked her name, answered her questions, and thanked her for supporting GOT7.
To his right sat Jackson.
“Did you eat? Yaaahhh that's no good! You need to eat!”
“Did you sleep well? Why not? You should rest!”
“You should take of your health, don't get sick, ok?”
Again and again he repeated his worries as fan after fan approached, despite looking as though he hadn't slept in days.
He probably hadn't, Jinyoung reminded himself. It felt like Jackson was spending more time in the air than on land these days.
Later, back in the dorm, their schedules complete, he found Jackson in the living room, flipping through what looked like another offer from a Chinese program as Youngjae and Bambam sat on the floor, playing a spirited game of soccer on the Playstation.
He dropped on the couch next to Jackson and peered over his shoulder.
Yep.
Another show.
Jinyoung glanced at him. The dark circles under his eyes and tired expression were becoming the norm.
Sighing, he reached over, covered the paper with his hand, and lowered it, forcing Jackson to look up at him like he hadn't even realized Jinyoung was there.
“Take your own advice and rest,” he said, eyes locked on Jackson's.
Jackson let out a confused chuckle. “What?”
“Rest,” he repeated, now taking the offer and putting it out of reach.
Jackson reached for it.
“I will after—”
Jinyoung grabbed his wrist. “Now.”
They stared at each other. He could see Jackson's stubbornness slowly giving way to exhaustion, before finally, his shoulders slumped.
“10 minutes.”
He settled next to Jinyoung, one leg bent on the couch so his knee rested on Jinyoung's thigh.
Moments later, his head dropped to Jinyoung's shoulder. And he slept.
10 minutes passed.
Jinyoung didn't wake him.
10. He has no idea I love him.