Archive of Our Own

“I dislike this,” Hades grouses as I walk up the path to Titania's castle. “Why can you simply not ask the small version of your troublesome friend?”

“Because it's not a small question,” I retort, rolling my eyes in fond resignation. “I already told you I'd let you know what the answer is, same as I told Thancred, why are you hovering?”

“...because every time you step from sight, something dramatic happens, and I am loathe to be unavailable.”

Awww, he's fussing. Honestly, kind of cute.

Our return had been much less fraught than the first time. Hades and Hyth are both no longer in trouble, Thancred hadn't completely passed out, and Ryne had absolutely taken every advantage possible to come bother us while we were recuperating at the Pendants.

She's definitely developing a rather... gremling-like streak, and I don't know if that's my fault, Thancred's or the pixies she keeps coming to visit. Probably all of the above though. (She still thinks Hades is a bit on the scary side, but she does seem to get along well with Hyth. I had almost died laughing when I caught Gaia and Hades drinking black coffee together, wearing the same sort of resting-bitch face that made them look entirely too related.)

“Look, I am perfectly safe here. Absolutely no one in their right mind is going to fuck with Titania's favorite human, okay? Please go supervise the purple husband and make sure he's not going to attempt yet another revenge plot on the Fuath. Yes, I know they find it funny, but still.”

We stop before the palace’s grand entryway, and Hades sighs.

“You will not do anything reckless.”

I roll my eyes.

“Hades, at this point, I'm at least forty-one. Stop treating me like I'm five.”

He looks put out, but after a moment runs a hand over his hair. I relent, and move to give him a hug.

“Like I said, once I know whether what I want is, or isn't, possible, I'll be letting you lot know. Okay? Chill.”

He clings, just a little, but those strong hands slide away eventually, and he makes a faintly disgruntled noise, even as he turns and portals to wherever Hyth has also gone off to. I know Thancred will be kept nicely distracted by Gaia and Ryne, so that just leave me to myself.

Fuck, I absolutely need more alone time. Hopefully, once we go back to the Source, things will decide to Just Not for a bit and I can get that....

I shake my head a little, and enter the wide open doors; the palace itself seems to welcome me, the air going warm and soft, as a little breeze seems to wrap around my shoulders like Scarf generally enjoys doing. The breeze gives me little tugs until I find myself in a great grassy field, reminiscent of where I'd fought the Light-twisted Titania. The new Titania smiles brightly and kneels down to be more on my level as I approach them.

“How rare it is tae see our favorite mortal standing before us. Kin to a petitioner you are,” they tease.

“Well, you're not wrong.” I pause. Take a breath. “Back on my old world, we had stories of fae and fairies, fair folk like the pixies, the Fuath and other sorts. Stories about how they would steal a mortal child and leave a creation in its place.”

“We rescue-”

I lift a hand.

“I'm not here to accuse you,” I say with a dry smile. “Honestly, in the past when those stories were really a believed thing, it was used as an excuse for having someone whose brain didn't work right. They were called changeling children, but really, they were just people that failed to fit in or be considered normal by the appearances of that time period.”

Titania tips their head, curiously.

“Ye dinna bring up something like this ‘pon a whim, my sweet sapling, do ye?”

I shake my head.

“When I almost died because of Zenos, they took out the part of me that can nurture life,” Flowery, but I don't feel like being clinical right now. “At first I was fine with that, cause gods know I am probably not someone who would make a good parent. Except... dumb as it might sound, I kind of.. would like that. And I wanted to ask if you could help make that.”

Titania looks surprisingly solemn.

“Tis usually not a gift tae bestow upon mortals,” and they sounds just the tiniest bit vicious. “Tis a punishment for those as treat their young all awful-like.”

“Yeah, I can see that. And I am not going to be upset if the answer is no,” I reply, tucking my hands into my pockets. “I can always go adopt gremlins too. But, I figured since you went to the trouble of soul-bonding me and Thancred, asking you first, before someone accidentally put the idea into your mind, might be the way to go.”

Given how sad Feo Ul had been about the less than stellar reception of their unilateral decision--and the fact that surprise child is very genuinely a fear--getting ahead of this potential thing had felt like the smart option.

...and, all right, I really do think I would be okay raising a kid with a damn village around me to help out. (Maybe more than one, but we'll start small.) Whether or not I get involved with the whole Tural shit, or even the mess of the Thirteenth, I'm not letting that stop me from trying to catch happiness in my hands.

(It's weird to think that a child will make me happy. But. A child with Hades’ eyes. Hyth's hair. Thancred's smile... I could probably raise those children and enjoy it.)

“Tis a process to make a wanted child,” Titania says finally, the viciousness having left their voice for a more modulated thoughtful tone that is admittedly just a bit scarier. Titania is the rule of the faerie, which makes them a lot more mature than the rest. “Have ye discussed it with any of yon favorite mates?”

“Not yet, no. I wanted to know if it was possible before I brought it up to them because,” I roll my eyes in fond exasperation, “the minute I bring it up, I'm going to have the field multiple arguments about it. I want proof of concept before I drop it on their heads to bicker over, because if the answer is no, then I won't have gotten their hopes up, and can focus on the adoption process, whatever that is, instead of something a bit more involved.”

“Oh, tis of a certainty that it can be done,” and Titania snorts at me gently. “And if it will please my darling sapling, we are happy to do it!”

I nod, but don’t relax, not yet. There’s always a catch...

“What would the process be like?” I ask. “You’ll need something from me, won’t you?”

“Aye, at the very least. A bit of you, tae start. Perhaps a bit of whomever yer hoping tae share the child with, if that can be managed. We could start now!”

“Oooohhh no,” I hope up a hand, smiling despite the refusal. “I told you, I haven’t told anyone what I was coming here to ask you. Let me put the cat among the pigeons first and mediate the arguments, and then we can see about crafting a... baby, or child, whichever will be easiest to make.”

“Oh, very well,” and they sigh in disappointment. “But dinnae wait too long!”

“Do my best to bring you my first-” victim “-partner as soon as I can,” I reply. “And, you know, I appreciate you being willing to do this.”

“Ah, to make our sweet sapling smile, we will do all that we can. For t’was you who granted us this freedom to rule as we were meant!”

I fluster a little bit, but being fair, they’re not wrong. So after a few more pleasantries, and another promise to come back as soon as I can, I head out of the palace, though I don’t go terribly far. Just to the fountain outside, so I can have a moment to think.

Of all of them, Thancred and Urianger might have the most experience. Thancred has semi-raised two teenagers to being able to stand on their own two feet, if... kind of terribly both times. Urianger had something of a hand in helping Ryne, but he’d also lived among pixies for something like three years, and if you can manage that, I’m pretty sure you could manage a kid. Of the rest... wait, hadn’t Raha raised Lyna from baby to adult? Or something like that...

“Having second thoughts a’ready?” Feo Ul asks, plopping themself down on my head.

“No. I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t feel resolved to wanting at least one little chaos gremlin,” I reply, absently reaching up to tug at a tiny foot. “I’m just trying to figure out how they’ll react.”

I hadn’t asked for the in-depth explanation yet, because I’m pretty sure that’s something me, and whoever else is willing to help with the whole making part, need to hear at the same time.

...won’t that be amusing? I feel like no matter who wants a baby with me first, the lot of them will troop into this palace with me to find out how it all works. Hades, I know, will be personally offended that I didn’t ask him, but like. The man can’t heal his way out of a bag, and I feel like physically crafting a baby out of magic and ‘donations’ will need that sort of magic...

“And who will say yes first,” I continue after a moment, leaning back with a faint sigh. “Ah, the things I do to complicate my life...”

Feo Ul giggles at me, then shifts position to sprawl over my hair, giving me a very weird, welcome head hug.

“We could make a whole passel of them,” they tease.

“One at a time, please. Maybe two,” I amend after a moment. “I don’t think I could handle more than that at one time...” 

Hyth, I think, will be willing to wait, but if Thancred volunteers, I expect Hades to follow suit. Or maybe Hades would prefer to share something like that with Hyth instead? (Or a both scenario could happen, which is a little intimidating...) I don’t know about the rest of them...

After a moment, I just sigh and shrug gently.

“Okay. I have my answer. Might as well call a meeting of the mates and see who’s gonna jump first.”

Feo Ul giggles.

“I cannae wait~”

It takes a couple days to get them all home, but I figure it’s only fair to offer it to all of them, not just my main trio. Thancred, Raha, Themis, and Ange are all on one couch. Hyth and Hades are snugged together on another one, and the lot of them are waiting with a surprising amount of patience for me to break the silence.

Now I am having second thoughts. Bloody stage fright.

Well, I already started this. So. Begin from the problem point.

“Okay. Y’all know my previous stance on kids, and how I was not fussed about what Zenos caused to happen,” I say finally. “One stance remains the same, but I... may be having second thoughts about the not having kids part.”

Raha’s ears go up, and I hold up a hand to forestall any excitable exclamations.

“Back where I used to live, we had stories about fae and fairies too. Specifically, stories about changeling children. So I want to Titania and asked if they could make me one. After some hemming and hawing about it, they agreed it was possible, and also that they’d be very willing to do so. It’ll take some of me and some of whoever else wants to be the other official parent, or however that works, and probably a lot more than they actually owned up to, but being fair, I didn’t ask for details.” I let out a breath. “So. Yes, I know there is still some shit coming. But. I wanted y’all to know that small gremlins are on the table, because I think with y’all, it would be doable.”

I glance about uncertainly; Raha looks like he’s about to vibrate off the couch in excitement, and Hyth also looks unexpectedly eager. Hades and Thancred have hilariously similar looks--like they’d been hit in the face with a frying pan--while Themis and Urianger look thoughtful. Themis looks... unexpectedly hopeful.

Hm. That would neatly sidestep the initial problem, wouldn’t it?

“What brought about this... change?” Hades asks. He sounds... shaken. I glance over at him again and he looks shaken. A glance at Thancred shows that he’s gone into Thinking Mode, which... is a cute look for him, no lie.

“I mean, I was already on the fence about it before Zenos came and fucked everything up,” I reply with a small shrug. “I was starting to consider adoption before Krile’s letter showed up, but I hadn’t really decided for certain until recently. A baby, or even a child, is going to be a lot of work. Multiple children will be even more. And if you don’t want to go the changeling child route, adoption is absolutely on the table, and I’m pretty sure there’s plenty of kids that could use a home like this one.”

One that’s warm and safe. Offers comfort and belonging. Love. I don’t know if I’ll be a good parent, but I’ll do my best to try.

“I hath heard much about changelings from pixies,” Urianger says meditatively. “Tis a punishment they inflict upon those who treat their own ill, whilst spiriting away the child being harmed. Yet, thou art suggesting that Titania wouldst make one, or more, of an amenable nature for thee?”

“Yeah. Pretty much.” I shrug genially. “It’s Titania who’d be making the child from whatever we end up needing to donate, and I trust them to make a child for me, for us, that wouldn’t be a torment. I am their favorite mortal, after all.”

The amused noises make me feel a little better.

“I think it's a delightful compromise,” Hyth says after a moment. “If, as you say, things will happen regardless, I see no reason to avoid the potentiality of children, natural, adopted, or whatever else your delightful mind may conceive of. Tis not as if they shall want for protections, should one or more of us be drawn into conflict.”

Bless his unexpectedly practical heart.

“You would have a small, chaotic being running amok in this house?” Hades demands.

“Hey. I'm sitting right here.”

Thancred starts laughing, as does Raha as Hade glares at me.

You know perfectly well what I mean, he snaps.

Still sitting right here.

“I figured, given the attachments, it would be fair to offer up the option to all of you. You don't have to give me an answer now, and ideally, I'd like to start with one, but I can make an exception for two if y'all can't come to a consensus. I would like to say, please do not turn this into a drag down knockout fight. I am not looking to start fights, or ruin current relationships. And no doubt we can make a whole list of questions to ask Titania about how it works, before we properly, truly commit to anything.”

“Oh, I have much I would ask them,” Hades grouses, though he goes quiet when Hyth elbows him in the side. 

I snicker at him mercilessly, and get a glare in response; no lie a little Hyth-Hades gremlin would be adorable, and I doubt Titania is going to care about the gender thing. I don't see why they would, anyways...

“And you'd not mind it?” Thancred asks after a moment. “Being mother?”

“I don't know how good a mom I'll be, but I can do my best, and I have many options for people to lean on when I feel like I'm the worst parent ever,” I say dryly. “Also, you have met me, right? Not going on adventures is not a punishment.”

That gets me a fondly amused smile, and he dips his head a bit in acknowledgment. There's uncertainty in the back of his eyes, but the rest of them...?

Hyth looks amused. I wonder if he's arguing mentally with Hades about it? Raha still looks like he's going to vibrate right off the couch he's so thrilled, and Themis still has that hopeful look in his eyes. Thancred's uncertain, and Hades’ mask is good enough that I can't really tell what he's thinking, but my guess is that he's trying not to demand first dibs. That or he's internally panicking about the whole thing, and wants to run miles and miles in the opposite direction.

“I’'m gonna put this out there now; whichever of you says yes, I want you here,” I say belatedly. “It's gonna be our kid,” and I gesture wide to take in all of them, “but I would really like the specific donor to be close at hand for parenting decisions.”

That seems to dim Raha's enthusiasm a little; I know he's working hard to help Krile with rebuilding the Students of Baldesion, and he wants big adventures. He does tend to forget that I kind of don't...

“We should speak with Titania further,” Hades says after a moment. “To discover how they can do such a thing, and the specifics of it. Then we can deliberate over who should, or should not, contribute to this... idea.”

I honestly can’t tell if he’s offended. Hyth’s eye roll suggests he thinks Hades is being ridiculous, but about what I don’t know.

“Okay,” and I nod a little, because it is fair to ask all the questions now that they’re all in the know. “You’re good for making the portal?”

Hades grumbles about not being an airship service, but I ignore that. Hyth only gives him a kiss on the cheek, making Hades huff, even as he lifts a hand and snaps his fingers, conjuring the portal in the middle of the living room. I don’t necessarily bounce through first, but I’m not slow about getting up and heading over.

Il Mheg is covered in mist, but it’s the natural sort, not ‘pixie mischief’ mist, and Hades has nicely dropped us right on the palace doorstep, so I can take a moment to admire how pretty everything looks while the rest file through. The portal closes with a faint pop and I stretch absent, looking up as Hyth, of all people, drapes himself over my shoulder.

“Think you Titania might be open to a request of mine?” he asks softly.

“I don’t see why they wouldn’t,” I say in the same quiet tone. “Hades, on the other hand.”

He sighs in faint agreement, then kisses my cheek fondly.

“All too true, glimmerwing.”

“Do cease lagging to admire the view,” Hades says impatiently. “Let us get this done with, that we might...”

He cuts himself off as I look over, and then I tip my head back to lightly bonk against Hyth’s shoulder.

“I can’t tell if he really wants it, or if he’s scared of the idea,” I say after a moment.

“A little of both, though he’s quite closed me out right now,” and Hyth sighs a little. “Tis no guess whom your preference would be...”

“Assuming Thancred is not also a little from column A and a little from column B, yeah...”

Though the hopeful look in Themis’s eyes has given me pause. Giving him more anchors, more reasons to stay is not off the table, but if feels kind of like a terrible reason to conjure a child. At the same time, I feel like he’d make a good father, and shouldn’t I let go of Thancred a little more? Especially if-

Thancred’s hand slips into mine even as Hyth continues to lean on me as we head into the palace, and on reflex I twine out fingers together. Thancred will do as Thancred will do, and I shouldn’t take the choice from anyone. 

With no idea how long it will be before anything else happens, logically, I know I ought to hold off. But holding back out of fear of a thing means potentially losing out on it, and I really do have a damn village around me if something untoward happens.

I give Thancred’s hand a squeeze, bump my head affectionately against Hyth’s arm, and follow the very impatient Hades into the fae palace.

I look over my notes, Feo Ul perched on my shoulder as I lean up against the headrest of the bed in my room at the Pendants. After the long discussion, everyone had scattered about to have some time to think and decide; Thancred and Urianger had gone to make pests of themselves with Ryne and Gaia, Raha is having a visit with Lyna, Hades had stayed with Titania to ask further questions about the ensouling process--which I had known he would latch onto, given his previous duties--and I have no idea where Hyth or Themis have gone off to.

I lightly tap my fingers on the pages, though I admit, I’m less focused on the words than I am on what my boys may eventually decide...

“Ye dinnae seem all that fussed about it,” Feo Ul says.

“I mean, I’m not thrilled about the idea of birthing pains, but it makes sense,” and I shrug a little. “If I’d been able to do this naturally, that would’ve happened either way.”

Mostly, I’m trying to do little punnet squares of what genetic traits might come through. It’s easier said than done, considering Titania had said they could literally cobble together a child out of everyone, if we struggled to make a choice. Given how... ill advised that seems, that’s probably the first thing we’d collectively agreed was not on the table. Multiple parents, sure. But not everyone.

Which is fine. 

Hyth had brought up the question of Titania doing it for more than just me, which had gotten him a curious look front he faerie ruler, and an irritated one from Hades. But I had also seen Urianger perk up, and honestly, children of Hyth and Hades, or Urianger and Thancred (Or maybe Urianger and Themis? They seems to be quite close now too...) would probably be the most dramatically adorable monsters in creation.

(They’d be my kids too, so I am allowed to call them monsters, darnit.)

“Mortal births are messy...” and Feo Ul makes a face.

“Yup,” I hum a little in amusement. “Painful and messy, and dramatic from what I understand. This skips the messy part, and I don’t object to that one little bit.”

Honestly, I’d half expected that it would hurt and wasn’t inclined to fuss all that much about it. This was, after all, my idea. 

“Are ye goin tae pick, then?”

I shake my head.

“No, I’ll let them figure it out themselves. I might have a preference, but they also have their own desires. I already told them my stipulation was whoever donated to the child would need to stay with me to help, so it’ll be up to who wants to travel versus who wants to stay home.”

Home...

I half-closed my eyes and let out a slow breath. I don’t get homesick as much any more, but there’s still days where I would give a lot to be back home with my mom and my cats, my ordinary life where the most stressful thing was the commute or when I had to work the front desk.

“Are ye sure you want tae stay home?”

I snort, and if Feo Ul wasn’t once more lounging on my head, I would headbonk them gently. As it is, I reach up and tug gently at one tiny foot, getting a gleeful giggle.

“I believe you’ve heard me make complaints about travel,” I say dryly. “I’m not a traveler, or an adventurer, I’m a cozy spot person. Whether that cozy spot is here on the First, or back on the Source, I enjoy settling in and making a home of a place. I only do the adventures because there’s no one else to fill in for me, which is absolutely their fault.”

I mind it less now. I’m their antecedent, whether the Scions are disbanded or not. Which reminds me, I really do need to go talk to Vrtra about his underwater treasure palace.

Hm. Actually, that can wait for a bit. At least until I know who, if anyone, is gonna take me up on the changeling child bit.

“Also, bold of you to imply that raising kids isn’t going to be its own chaotic adventure,” I continue after a moment. “I worked in childcare for a few years, I’m well aware of the chaotic nature of raising small beings.”

Admittedly, in the back of my mind I’m scared. I have no idea whether or not I’ll be a good parent, if I’ll be able to handled raising more than one kid, or even if any of this will go according to design. I keep reminding myself that I have friends. Friends that are family. I have a plethora of partners, running the gamut from husband to lover, to queerplatonic. The kid or kids will be a mishmash of nuttiness, sure, but-

Darling will you please come down here and help me corral out older child?

The fuck did you do, Thancred?

...told her they she might be the recipient of a younger sibling in the near future.

I’m coming down to laugh at you. Where are you?

Near the Cabinet of Curiosity.

I snicker a little, and put my nots aside.

“Thancred told Ryne she might get a little sibling, and apparently her enthusiasm is scary,” I say with a grin. “Let’s go make fun of him~”

Feo Ul cackles and their small weight lifts off my head so I can scoot to the edge of the bed without fear.

“I cannot.”

I blink at Hades, head tipping slightly.

“Why not? And if you say something about not being ‘worthy’, imma smack you.”

He huffs, folding his arms over his chest as he looks away. I roll my eyes even as I lean on him affectionately.

“Hades, I’m not saying you have to want a kid with me. If you and Hyth want a small one first, I’m not offended by this idea. If you don’t want kids at all this is not offensive either; some people don’t!”

Honestly, given the attitude he shows the world, him being childfree is not really all that shocking. But at the same time, he’d been so curt when he’d told me that I’d basically gotten a hysterectomy because of Zenos...

“...I do not feel.... Ready,” and I can tell he’s saying it reluctantly. “I have not... raised children before.”

Given that his most recent ‘past life’ was that of Emperor Solus, that isn’t shocking. From what history I understand, a lot of child-rearing was done by nannies and tutors, and I can see him with his empire building have left even more of that to other people.

“Neither have I,” I remind him. “I worked in childcare, but never had my own. I always said I had cats, didn’t need kids. Which is... still something of a mood. But. I believe you’d be a pretty good dad. Especially with Hyth to take you down a peg or two.”

It gets me a hint of a smile, so I reach up to pull at his arm until he unfolds and lets me snuggle.

“Look, if you don’t want to, don’t feel ready, that’s fine. I’m not going to force anyone into it, and will land on someone with both feet if they try to force themselves. But you realize this means you can’t be jealous of anyone else who says yes. Okay?”

He nods, and slumps a little to lean against me.

“...in the future, perhaps. But... you or Hyth... I...”

Ah, so Hyth had said he wanted to have a small with Hades, and Hades is now in panic mode about it.

“Titania did say they could take more than two donations for a child at the same time,” I remind him. “It could be the baby of all three of us. I’m sure they’d be an adorable little hellion.”

That gets me a sputtering laugh, which is better than him being uptight about it.

“Has anyone else... made their decisions?” he asks.

I nod.

“Raha very apologetically said he can’t. He’s too busy helping Krile to be a present parent. Urianger also bowed out because of the Lopporits, and then went into a long winded speech that basically boiled down to him wanting kids with Thancred and also Themis in the future, so that’s going to be fun.”

“Independant of your donation?”

I shake my head.

“Weirdly enough, no. He was very specific about that. So if you wanna share a child with me and Hyth, again, on the table for whenever.” I close my eyes. “You may never feel ready, Hades. I don’t feel ready. But as much chaos as there will be in raising a child, I know there will be joy in it too, and I think we’ve all more than earned the chance to find that.”

His sigh ruffles my hair and ears, and he leans on me softly.

“I... do not disagree with your words. But I do not feel able. Perhaps.. After your first. We shall see.”

I nod. It’s a fair idea; I have no idea if I’ll be up for more than one myself, so letting him be an uncle instead of a dad to start isn’t a horrible idea.

“What of Waters?”

I snort.

“Thancred made the mistake of telling Ryne she might be getting a younger sibling. She was so enthused about the idea that now I have to sit him down and make sure he’s not agreeing to this just because he can’t tell his kid no.”

It had been utterly hilarious though. She’d asked a bundle of questions about it, because I’d been up front with her about the whole mess of Zenos last time I’d come through the First, and while she had been concerned about it, mostly the idea had made her so excitable that Gaia had accused us of giving her too much coffee.

“Hyth hasn’t said one way or the other yet,” I continue after a moment. “I think he’s waiting for your decision. Themis...”

I hesitate. And feel a nudge. Not physical, but through the bond that connects me to this most grumpy of bastards that I love.

“He... didn’t quite beg,” I say slowly. “But he requested very... very pleading-like to be part of this first child. I’m... worried about him. I’m not saying no, but like.. Can you... talk to him about it?”

A child of Thancred, Themis, and me is not out of the question. But Themis’s insistent request is concerning.

Hades is quiet for a long moment, then covers my hand with his.

“During the initial Final Days, it came to light that Themis had sired a child,” he says after a moment. “However his partner and their baby perished during those early days, before we truly understood what had happened. I do not know if he recalls this, but it may be that subconscious desire to try again that is prompting his insistence.”

I blink a couple of times, trying to align that information with Themis. Being fair, Lahabrea had a wife and Erichthonios while he was part of the Convocation. And it’d been heavily implied that Logriff and Mitron had been some flavor of Involved in each other’s lives.

I wonder if the words I’d said to Themis back then had caused this. Then I shove that thought away; I’m not that important to the plot.

Am I?

“Will you talk to him anyways?” I ask finally. I fuss about it if it comes up later... “Just to make sure he’s okay?”

“I shall. And I shall speak to Hythlodaeus as well; you did say that you could potentially handle two?”

There’s a teasing lift to his voice that has me contemplating if it’s worth the effort to bite his arm.

“I am willing to entertain that, but only if I have help,” I warn him with a narrow stare. “Considering Titania said they could make a mash up of all of us at once if we wanted that, I expect more trio babies than duo babies. So. Don’t threaten me tall man.”

I can tell he’s relaxed by the way he leans against me, which, at least I’ve managed that much. That’s Hades, Raha, and Urianger in the no column, at least in this moment. Themis is a yes, Thancred I need to harras, and Hyth is unknown until he talks to me after Hades talks to him.

“...I suppose we both have conversations to attend to...”

I hum in agreement, then snuggle against him. The weather is cozy, Hades is comfortable, and I need a break from juggling feelings for a bit.

“They can wait. Not like it hasn’t already been a few days.” I close my eyes, and curl my fingers in his shirt. “I’m amazed Titania is being this patient about it, but then, they wouldn’t be the fairie ruler if they didn’t know how to have patience.”

Hades sighs, then shifts his hold on me, tugging me onto his lap. Full contact cuddles, hell yeah. His hand comes up and slowly starts to run through my hair, which is admittedly the best way to melt me into a puddle.

“...your sleep has been poor because of this,” he says after a few minutes of cozy petting. “And you still wish to move forward?”

I hum a little in sleepy contentment.

“M’not so scared f’the idea that m’not gonna try,” I manage, covering a yawn. “N’there’s lotsa help ‘round me if somethin goes weird n’wild.”

Honestly, if it was just me and Thancred, I don’t think I could be this sanguine about it. But with all the support around me, it’s not nearly as scary. This child, potentially children, will be raised in a chaotic, loving environment.

And that makes it a lot easier.

“Hold up,” I hold up my hand, trying to parse what I’d just been told. “Did I just hear that right? You,” and I point to Hades, “want to share child making with Thancred? Not Hyth?”

Hades huffs, folding his arms in embarrassment, while Thancred scratches the back of his neck before nodding. Hyth looks quite pleased by the whole thing, and I half suspect he’s the one who actually got this ball rolling. But why?

“Yes,” Hades grits out after a moment. “That is what I said.”

“...I’m not saying no, but I am going to ask why. Last we talked, you seemed pretty set about not wanting a kid.” And I’ll admit, I’d expected him to go with Hyth if with anyone. “If this is about the rivalry that I told you to try and bury-”

“I offered,” Thancred interrupts.

I blink at him, settling back onto the chair.

“...you offered?”

“And Themis and I convinced him,” Hyth says cheerfully. “It certainly is one way to get ahead of concerns, is it not?”

I look at Themis, who seems almost as pleased as Hyth with the outcome, and feel a headache coming on. Dear stars and garters, what the fuck happened this time?

“I mean, I can’t argue with that, but now I’m even more confused.” I rub my temple, then sigh. “Walk me through this logic, please and thank you.”

“I... made my choice when I told Ryne she may have a younger sibling soon,” Thancred says slowly. “I may have misgivings, but they are... mostly settled by your reminder that t’will not just be us caring for a new life. In all honesty, I was initially also considering getting one over on him, but... well. That thought sat a bit sour. Initially-”

“I thought he was making a joke at my expense,” Hades interrupts, scowling. “A brawl would have been imminent, had Themis not stepped in.”

I glance at Themis, who has that enigmatic smile on his face. It softens and becomes a bit more relaxed when he catches me watching.

“Hythlodaues also contributed,” Themis says peaceably. “His was the instrumental voice in reaching an accord, I merely watched.”

“Oh come now, were you not there, it may yet have become a brawl,” Hyth protests with an amused noise. “T’was your invocation of your old role that pulled the master of dramatics back from his wrath.”

I snort and Hades glares.

“Okay. So. Let me get this straight. You went to Hades and offered to let him be part of the child you wish Titania to make with me. Correct?”

Thancred nods. I look at Hades.

“You were adamant that a child was not for you,” I say after a moment. “Why’d you change your mind?”

“I... once I no longer believe him to be attempting to make a fool of me, we started to... speak.” Hades’ tone is no less grumpy and defensive, but there’s something subtle about the shift in tone. “We... shared similar insecurities.”

Thancred looks away, flustered. Being fair, we all share similar insecurities about not knowing how good we’ll be as parents, I’m just the one who stomped all over those insecurities and decided I was going to go for it, with whomever agreed with me.

“Similar enough to put aside some differences and share the same child?”

I can’t help feeling a little skeptical still. I’ve forgiven him for what happened with the mess of trying to forge soul bonds, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about how petty a jackass he can be without provocation.

“As you said, we must begin somewhere.”

I stare at Hades for a long moment, then switch my gaze to Thancred. Both of them seem... plenty resolved, so after a moment I nod.

“All right. If you’re sure, then we can do this. If I catch either of you being petty with the baby though, I’ll bite you in not fun ways. You hear me?”

Thancred’s smile is wry as he nods. Hades... seems to loose about an inch of height as he exhales stress. Idiot. I love him, but honestly. What an idiot...

“Asteri?”

I look at Themis and tip my head.

“You... said that you were willing to attempt two, with aid. Is that still... true?”

“I mean. So long as I have help, yes.” I pause. Flick a glance between him and Hythlodaeus. “Okay, spill.”

“It seemed uncouth to push myself forward alone,” Hyth admits after a moment. “Given that Thancred and Hades had come to an accord, and Themis... desires a child greatly, I thought to wait.”

“Ah. Another triple share? Or did you want me to ask Titania for-”

“We... we would share this child with you, asteri,” Themis interrupts, flushing a little. Help, why are they all so cute when they’re embarrassed? “If you would welcome that.”

This is what I get for saying I’d be willing to try two. But being fair, the blending of these kids is going to be something entirely new and wild so...

“You know this means you’re all going to need to stick around,” I point out. “Babies aren’t easy, and if you dump the work on me, I will get revenge.”

Revenge might be something as simple as refusing to ‘have’ future children, but still.

I get four assenting nods, and huff out a breath.

“Okay. So. We’re set and solid then?”

Nods all around.

“Cool. Next step is baby room and baby supplies. I’m not doing this until we’re as stocked as possible, because I’m pretty sure the last thing anyone is going to want is to find out we wanted a thing and don’t have it. Hades, would you please pick-or-create a room? Themis, if you feel up for it, cribs are in your hands. Or we can get some snap-crafting going, I am not particular, so long as it stays in one piece. Hyth, you can help me figure out the food scenario,” Titania had said their spell would make it so that I produced milk, but honestly the idea gives me the heebie jeebies, “Thancred, toys and other furniture, coordinate with Themis please.”

Themis is all too quick to catch Thancred by the arm and head for the workroom space--which is kind of amusing to watch, no lie--while Hades heads up the stairs, and Hyth heads for the kitchen.

I look briefly up at the ceiling, then let out a breath.

Okay.

Okay.

We can do this.

The ‘Berry’s Harem’ room--a joke name, not the actual door nameplate, I legit would have bitten Hades for it--ends up having a very nicely sized nursery attached to it, with its own entrance to the exterior hallways, as well as into the bedroom. Themis ends up needing a bit of help from Hyth and Hades to make the cribs--snap-construction at its finest--but he and Thancred cobble together the rest of the furniture with minimal fuss. Hyth swears that the ‘food situation’ is easily handled, and I’m willing to trust him with it, so when he shops for that sort of thing, I wander around the imported clothes and weaver’s stall to find things good for baby clothes, blankets, and other soft things.

(Could I have relied on Hades for this? Sure. But I want to contribute more than just dna for what’ll be our kids.)

The whole process takes a couple weeks, and really only works as well as it does because of the magical cheating. On the plus side, it means no one really has the time to get cold feet, because if we're not working on stuff for the baby's room, we're discussing names, what they might look like, and Hades has even somewhat described the ensouling process, which apparently he had insisted upon doing, and Titania had wisely given way.

(I want to ask if he'll do that for every child we end up attempting to create, but honestly, that's definitely up to him, and I shouldn't expect it.)

It's still... sort of funny to be staring up at the palace doors for the third time, and starting to feel more unnerved about it. I am going to be voluntarily taking care of babies. Babies I cannot give back to their parents at the end of the day, because I will be one of those parents.

Anxiety pulses gently through me. What if I muck this all up? What if this goes all wrong, it'll be my fault for suggesting it in teh first place, and Hades and Thancred will feel not good enough, and Hyth will feel used, and-

Hands land on my shoulders, and rest against my hair. Warm hands, strong, calloused, gentle...

“Second thoughts?” Thancred asks.

I swallow. Nod. No point in lying about it.

“About time they hit,” Hades grumble, even as his thumb traces along the base of one ear. “You certainly talked us through various reservations.”

“You,” Hyth teases fondly, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “She talked you though your reservations.” A pause. “And Thancred.”

Thancred snorts a little in amusement, twining his fingers with mine.

“Do we need to ply you with reassurances that you'll be as good a parent as possible?” Thancred teases gently. “F'lhaminn has already agreed to come by and make sure we don't burn the house down with twins, after all.”

“I know... I just.” I sigh. Lean back; Themis's hands run gently along my spine. “I think part of it is that I don't get to share this with my mother. Y'all are great, wonderfully supportive, I'd trade you for nothing, but... but I wish I could tell her. I wish she could know that she's going to have grandkids, not just cats...”

It's a moot point; there's still a me living with my mom, who's ordinary and uncomplicated. She’s not alone, not mourning her other child, and wouldn’t know what to do with me if I turned up. And honestly, I wouldn’t know what to do if I ended up back there. Lose my shit, probably...

But I still miss her. And I wish I could share this moment with her.

After a moment, I take a deep breath. There's nothing I can do about that. This is home now, these people my family, my spouses, my favorite set of idiots. I'll think of something later, maybe, that might alleviate the feelings... but for now, we're here, and we've got... not quite a job to do, but a plan to present to Titania.

“...this better not turn into some mad scientist shit,” I mutter, shaking my head a little and finally starting forward. “Mad magic shit is more than enough.”

“...we need not,” Hades says after a moment.

“I said I would. Sometimes... you just do a thing scared. But you do it.”

I don't think he really likes that response, but Thancred squeezes my hand gently, and I feel warm breath as Themis leans in to kiss the top of my head.

I don't rush. Maybe I should, but I'm nervous. So we take out time. We look about the halls of the palace, something none of us had actually taken the time to do in our visits, and we wend a rambly sort of path to the waiting Titania, who only seems amused by our languid path.

“Ye've made some decisions then, have ye?” they ask.

“Yeah,” I take a breath. “Great Titania, we would make a request of you for two changeling children. One that is me, Themis, and Hyth, and the other that is me, Hades, and Thancred. We’re not particular about looks or gender; we’re willing to leave that up to chance.”

Do I need to be so formal? Probably not. But there's an air of difference between Feo Ul and their larger, regal self. Less inclined to dramatics and all that.

“Oh, such lovely children ye're askin for,” and they clap their hands in gentle glee. “Aye, a pair of bonny babies for ye can certainly be crafted, if you are prepared to make sacrifices.”

“...do you have to term it like that?” I grumble.

Titania's laugh is full of mischief.

“Only tae see your grumpy face,” and they reach forward to gently pinch my cheek. “Tis a strange aether you have, my sweetest sapling, but then, no mortal here has anything resembling something as calm. Let us begin with the weaving.”

I can tell Hades bites his tongue on a testy comment, no doubt in regards to how they'd woven me and Thancred together, but he doesn't protest.

Titania scoots us all about into placements that make some format of sense; I stand in the middle, Hades and Thancred to my left, Hyth and Themis to my right. Magical diagrams appear in rainbow swirls, casting sparks into the air, and a whole cadre of pixies and Nu Mou appear. A comfortable chair is provided, and I blink at it curiously, then look up at Titania with a raised eyebrow.

“While ye willnae be going through all the mess and muck of birth, twill still be as great pain,” Titania warns me. “Blood and aether combine with the bones of earth tae make two wee ones as will live, age, and pass as time permits.”

“Ah.” I promptly sit in the chair. “In other words, sit down so I don't fall down.”

Several pixies giggle at the joke, and I feel a pair of tugs that make me look over at Thancred and Hades. They may not always like each other, but the matched concerned looks make me feel amused. And better.

“Tae begin with the weaving, simply breathe and feel the aether twining about ye,” Titania says, their voice... sonorous in a way. It sets me on edge, I don’t quite like it. “Let but a thread come tae hand, and cast it out like a fisher’s line. Ye’ll need two, sweet sapling.”

“This would be easier if I had magic sight like Hyth or Hades,” I grouse. 

Titania giggles, and I lean back in the chair to concentrate; at this point, I do know the feel of my own magic; calling it up puts me a little in mind of licking a battery, or tasting a copper penny. Bright, and a little bit bitey. 

(I’d asked Y’shtola, back when I’d been still trying to just get a grip on the stuff, and she’d said that was a normal sensation most beginner mages felt. Some grew beyond it, others always felt it. When I’d asked what she felt, she’d only smiled at me, and booped my nose.)

It takes me a couple of tries; aphantasia making my life difficult again when it comes to visualization. I would’ve been an awful Ancient...

But when I get it, I feel... it’s not quite like the tugs Thancred or Hades can do on our bonds when they want my attention. Weirdly, those seem centered around my waist; a tug left is for Thancred, a tug right is for Hades. This centers more... around my diaphragm.  Close to, but not quite at my heart. It’s... disquieting.

I keep my eyes closed, and listen as Titania chants in... well, I’d call it Irish Gaellig; it has that rolling tone to it that I’d always loved. Whatever it is, it’s soporific enough that when I feel the warm softness of Nu Mou hands taking mine, I don’t really move. 

And then I get needles into the tips of both forefingers, which absolutely ruins the soporific effect, makes me jump a literal foot and go all poofy.

The pixie audience promptly starts cackling, and I look at the other four to see that the Nu Mou are using their sharp claws with precision; Thancred is swearing up a blue streak as he snatches his hand back, and there’s a look on Hades face that suggests the only reason he’s not is because it would be ‘unseemly’ to react like that.

“Did ye forget, silly mortal?” a pixie asks gleefully. “Did ye, did ye?~”

I mutter several uncomplimentary things under my breath, then stick both stabbed fingers into my mouth so I can sulk. I had, in fact, forgotten. Blood and magic, and-

And okay, I am maybe over-reacting a little bit.

“Someone could’ve warned me,” I grumble, inspecting my fingertips after a moment. Admittedly, I can’t see where I’ve been so rudely injured... and also, I was expecting something maybe a little more dramatic than just a pricked finger.

The Nu Mou look a little despondent, so I sihg after a moment and path their heads gently. Puppies. I swear.

“Do stay in your chair then,” a pixie chirps. “You’re about to hurt a lot more~”

Ominous.

And true. At first it’s not so bad. I’ve had cramps worse. And then it escalates. Slowly. But it does. Titania isn’t so much chanting as singing now, and about half the pixies are singing with them, and the Nu Mou as well. There are two balls of swirling colors taking shape, only I can’t focus on that because holy shit is fucking hurts.

A familiar hand takes mine from the left, and I cling to Thancred as I gasp for breath. A small part of me worries that by stepping out of his place in the diagram he’ll cause problems, but I can’t exactly scold him, and I’m damn well not letting go.

“Deep breaths.”

Themis on my right. His hand rubs along my back, and I’m pretty sure he’d hold my hand, except I’m clinging to Thancred with both and crying from the pain now. I am so ready for this to be over, I don’t like pain, I don’t handle it well, I-

Themis’s fingers are firm, and sweep along my back in a familiar breathing pattern that I do my best to follow. It... surprises me that it seems to help A little of the pain-fog clears, and Thancred leans in to kiss my forehead.

“There’s our girl,” he murmurs.

“Wha’bout th... p’tterns?”

“Oh, that was just for establishing the initial connection of aether,” Hyth supplies as he leans on the back of the chair; his hands play with my hair, and run along the base of my ears. “Now that we’ve all donated the magic and the blood, this is most certainly where we belong.”

I look for Hades, and find him standing near those little balls of light that continue to glow and grow. A particularly fierce stab of pain has me crying out and clinging hard to Thancred, and a tiny part of me is glad that I’m not actually trying to do this the ‘normal’ way, because I’d probably be inclined to murder someone. As it is, we are definitely putting several years between changeling babies.

I hear, I feel, Hades’ snap more than I see it. The light flares abruptly, and the pain eclipses everything else for a brief, blinding moment.

And then it’s gone, and I slump in the chair, sweating and feeling about ten thousand kinds of noodly and awful.

“Themis. Come fetch your daughter.”

Themis’s hand draws away from my back, and I hear him stand. Thancred and Hyth help me straighten slowly, and accept the water a Nu Mou brings me to drink.

“...daugh ...ter?”

Two sets of footsteps approach as I manage to shove my glasses back up my nose, and then I am presented with two tiny bundles. Two miqo’te babies, if the large, floppy ears are anything to go by, bundled into soft yellow blankets. The baby in Themis’s arms has lavender hair that shades into white, the coloring putting me in mind of a Siamese cat. Tiny fists are scrunched up near the round face, and oh. Okay. I think I get it now.

The baby in Hades’ arms looks similar; pink hair shading to white with floppy miqo’te kitten ears; this one yawns, showing off toothless gums, and yup. I’m gone on them. My babies. 

I free my hands from Thancred so I can hold them up demandingly; those are my babies, and I will hold them, or I will start biting people. Hades ever so gently passes the kitten in his arms over, but I have to glare and hiss a little at Themis before he hands over his little bundle as well.

Once they’re settled in my arms, I feel settled too. Warm, soft, breathing, and adorable.

“They’ll be your sweetest lambs,” Titania says, sounding pleased with themself. “Mind you, they’ll grow out of that eventually. They shall be as mortals are; swiftly changing, and chasing their own lives.”

“Yeah. Bu’ f’r th’moment... they’re perfec’...”

I nuzzle at tiny heads ever so gently, and take a breath; mostly they smell of magic, which is a little disappointing, but maybe they’ll grow out of that too?

“I think perhaps we ought to get you home and to bed,” Thancred says, voice soft and coaxing. “We can solidify names and things after you... after we all have had a chance to recover.”

I nod, then hiss a little as hands move to take the babies. I know, logically, that no one will hurt them, but I don’t want to let them out of my sight for even a moment.

“No, let her,” Thancred says, somehow sounding both amused and warning. “I asked F’lhaminn about this sort of thing; miqo’te mothers are very defensive of their babies for the first few moons. She’ll let us near when she’s home, but we’ll not be removing them from sight without her say-so.”

“Damn straight you won’t,” I mutter, curling my arms more protectively around the two bundles.

Thancred just leans down and presses a kiss to my temple.

“Come on, darling, up you get. We’ll go home, and you can rest as long as they do, hm?”

I have never had kids, but I have read about having kids. Newborns specifically are no walk in the park and sleeping until they start crying--whether that be minutes or hours--sounds like a really good idea.

Unexpected miqo’te instincts are not fun. F’lhaminn swears that after the first two months or so, I’ll stop feeling quite so overprotective of my girls, but since Titania’s spell had... basically simulated giving birth, and dropped a metric ton of Hormones on me, she’s not entirely positive.

Thancred’s foresight in both talking to F’lhaminn, as well as inviting her to stay for a while to help, is honestly the best part of the mess. Much as I love my guys--so much. Absolutely so much--her practicality and understanding of miqo’te motherhood makes the first two weeks go a lot more smoothly. She can talk me out of Angry Hissy Mommy Mode, and also translate AHMM for my partners so that there’s less hurt feelings all around.

(Granted, she also finds it sort of amusingly quaint that I’m letting the men anywhere near the babies. Apparently that’s not the miqo’te norm... But I’m not taking any bonding opportunities away from any of them.)

Themis is in the nursery every chance he gets to either hold, or stare lovingly down at, Rihana. I feel like it’s going to take a crowbar, at the very least, to keep him from being a helicopter-type parent, especially since he’d had a child and lost them in the far distant past. Hyth is a little more restrained, but I’ve caught him leaning over the bassinet and cooing at her too.

(Though being fair, Hyth coos at both of them, and loves to wave soft toys over their heads to get their interest. Themis likes doing story time and is absolutely not bothered in the slightest by midnight feedings. Or two am feedings. Or four am feedings. I am so lucky.)

Hades and Thancred are a little more... hands off. If they hover, it’s over me, though they will also interact with the babies if I’m holding them. Irene already seems to know who her dads are, because she absolutely does start to kick up a fuss whenever either one are within sight, but they’ve yet to actually hold her...

Given that they both have some pretty justifiable nerves, I try to not push too much. Thancred will absolutely babytalk but he did have a bit of a panic attack after Irene grabbed his finger and refused to let go. (Maybe I should just drop her in his arms and make him deal, but that seems mean.) Hades... doesn’t exactly babytalk, but his voice does go softer when he addresses either kitten.

It doesn’t occur to me until Tataru shows up for a visit that none of us had actually told anyone else about the two new additions.

“They’re so darling,” she squeals. “But why didn’t you say anything?! Oh, I would’ve made them blankets, or some cute little dresses if I’d known! Or commissioned some toys!”

“....in all honestly, between dropping the idea on their collective heads and then getting caught up in the set up... I kinda forgot to tell anyone,” I admit, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck. “Getting it over with before I lost my nerve was kind of more important...”

“Ohhhhh,” and she huffs at me, then shakes her head in mock-disappointment. “You’re going to have so much explaining to do! And we’ll have to celebrate!”

“If your idea of celebrate is rolling over me like y’all did with the wedding planning, not a chance,” I say firmly. “People can come visit in small groups, and have to ask ahead of time, they can’t just show up. No large gatherings, and they’re not going to be handed about to people like they’re dolls!”

“What... but... why not?”

She looks a bit on the heartbroken side, so I sigh and reach out to pat her on the head.

“Tataru. You're a brilliant businesswoman, who helped fund the Scions, and save the world. People know you by that terrifying reputation. You're modestly infamous, and that'll probably propel your business for a good long while. Now, consider having children.”

Her brow furrows, and I lightly run my hand down Irene's back as she whines for attention.

“Oh... they would be... quite sought after, wouldn't they?”

“Mmhm. And in my case, there's people that don't like me, or the Scions, because we squashed their plans. You can tell some people, but you cannot shout it from the rooftops, and I am absolutely not hosting a big party.”

The idea of it gives me the heebie jeebies. My girls on display like crafts? Not in a million years, damnit.

(Is this how it's going to be if I ‘have’ more kids in the future? Or adopt them? Goddamn, these hormones are straight up fucky and I want them to fuck off...)

“I... I understand,” and she nods a little. Then frowns. “But wait, I thought you couldn't bear children?”

“Oh. No, so instead, what I did was-”

Sunflower: You didn't say you had babies!!!!

Berry: Uh. Yeah. Got caught up in the process. Forgot to tell anyone not romantically involved.

Sunflower: Do you have pictures?

Berry: Themis has a million of them.

Berry: I am amused and a little intimidated by how often the tomestone gets whipped out to take a picture of squishy-faced teenies.

Sunflower: 🤣

Sunflower: A most doting father!!!!

Sunflower: What are their names???

Berry: Your excessive use of punctuation is Concerning, Haurche.

Berry: Irene and Rihana.

Sunflower: Awwww, those names are adorable!!

Sunflower: Are you going to send me pictures?~ 83c

Berry: I regret teaching you emoticons and emoji.

Sunflower: 😘

Berry: lol

Berry: Bother Themis for pictures. I am cuddling babies and technically supposed to be napping with them.

Sunflower: Ah! And why are you not napping???

Berry: Dealing with Asshole Hormones.

Sunflower: Now I am cnocerned...

Berry: I'm guessing Tataru told you?

Sunflower: Yes! Father is most put out that you haven't sent him a missive of any sort about it.

Berry: No parties, Haurche, I will bite you.

Berry: Titania's spell dumped baby-hormones inyto my system. Good for being Mom. Bad for emotional stability.

Berry: F'lhaminn swears they'll taper off in a few months, but still.

Sunflower: I see, I see.

Sunflower: Worry not, we have no gathering's planned!

Sunflower: But Father would very much like to visit and see them. As would I.

Berry: Sure. 

Berry: I don't wan *unannounced* visits, or big gatherings, but y'all are welcome to pop in so long as I get like.. a couple hours warning.

Berry: A chance to warn the boys too.

Sunflower: I would not like to meeet the business end of any of their attacks, tis certain.

Berry: Ah, you heard about that, huh?

Sunflower: I certainly did.

Sunflower: Did he really leave a crater?

Berry: Pff, no.

Berry: Hancock was a little bit singed around the edges though.

Berry: Honestly, it was pretty funny. I think *Tataru* was going to go at him until I told everyone to chill and Hancock to go away.

Berry: I'm not dealing with anything related to Lolorito or the politics of Ul'dah, much as I like Nanamo.

Berry: I like my sanity more.

Sunflower: I shall speak with Father and let you know when we shall be able to visit!!!!

Sunflower: You have told everyone else now, haven't you???

Berry: >.>

Berry: We're working on it.

Berry: Slowly.

Sunflower: But are you, though?

Berry: You lot need to stop parroting my means back at me! XD

Sunflower: Never, dear friend!

Sunflower: Why the reluctance?

Berry: F'lhaminn says miqo-mama hormones mean keeping the kittens hidden to keep them safe until they're past a certain age. I'm... trying to not do that, but I keep catching myself doing exactly that.

Berry: It's chaotic and annoying.

Sunflower: And...?

Berry: ....and I'm a little scared about reactions. >.<

Berry: The boys knew, but we... none of us thought to mention it to anyone else. And sometimes the reactions are amusing, but like... I know the longer I take the more upset they'll be, but I...

Berry: I dont know. I'm being dumb, probably.

Sunflower: Hmm...

Sunflower: Don't you worry about a thing!

Berry: That is the farthest thing from comforting Haruchefant.

Berry: What are you planning?

Sunflower: :^)

Berry: Yeah. Never should've taught you emoticons. 8p

“Admittedly, I never thought you might change your mind,” Shtola says as she sits on the edge of the bed and watches Themis helping me feed the babies. “You seemed quite set.”

(It had taken some explaining to get them to make sense of what I meant when I said formula for nursing babies, but once it had clicked, the four of them had figured out how to make just that to take the edge off my brain about nursing.)

“I did offer up adoption too,” I point out, angling the bottle carefully so little miss greedyguts doesn't choke. “But once I confirmed with Titania that it could be done, they were more interested in this. Not sure I'll be doing it again any time soon, but like... I don't regret it.”

She smiles a little.

“No, you don't look as though you do,” she teases gently. “But did you not say that you were to speak to Vrta about something on my behalf?”

“Oh yeah, that. Uh... Shoot.” I frown a little. “I wonder if Estinien is still in Radz-at-Han...?”

“He does manage to go unnoticed surprisingly well,” and there's a warm humor in her voice. “He may yet. I assume you would pass on the request through him, then?”

I nod, then lean sideways to set the empty bottle on the side table and snag the burping cloth instead.

“Or at least let him know that I wanna talk,” I say, shifting Irene up to rest against my shoulder so I can gently pat her back. Floppy kitten ears twitch madly as I pat. “Maybe Varshan will show up. That'd be fun.”

“...if he does, you should allow him to hold one of the kittens.”

I snort.

“You just want to know if he knows how, and how funny it'll be if he doesn't,” I accuse wryly.

Shotla shrugs and smiles.

“You must admit, t'would be amusing if he froze up much the way Hades does whenever you drop yon kitten on him,” she replies.

I make a face, even as Themis chuckles softly. I hear a couple of tiny hiccups, and then a long sigh from Irene, suggestion she has, in fact, burped, and I shift her back down into my arms to snuggle.

“Him and Thancred are going to get bit soon,” I grumble. “They asked for this.”

Okay, so Thancred had kind of tripped over his own two feet when he’d told Ryne she might get a younger sibling, but he’d stuck by that decision of his own volition. He’d even extended the offer of sharing this child with Hades, instead of it being just me and him, showing way more magnanimity than I’d ever expected considering their rivalry.

It’s been almost a whole month now, and I still can’t get either one to hold their child.

“Asteri-”

“No,” I say stubbornly, scowling a little at Themis, who lightly wipes Rihana’s face. “They asked for this. They agreed to this. And they’ll be soft at her, but they won’t hold her. They’ll hold me and that’s not okay! Hyth holds Riahan!”

I’m trying to not raise my voice--the babies start making unhappy noises if I get loud in grumpy ways--but it’s frustrating. It hurts. Hades... Hades I sort of get. I half-think he was talked into it by the other three. But Thancred...?

Shtola leans forward and her hand rests on my knee.

“Perhaps someone less close to the situation may get a clearer answer, hm?”

I blink a couple times, then nod. If she wants to talk to Thancred about it, I won’t stop her. Maybe I can prevail on Hyth to talk to Hades? I don’t know that I’ll be polite to either one if I try, and the last thing I want is to make it a shouting match.

...then again, if Shtola goes and bites Hades, I kinda wanna watch that with some popcorn.

Irene whines at me and I hum softly. One tiny fist flails in my general direction, and I smile; despite my emotions being all over the damn place, despite my frustration with Hades and Thancred, I’m not sorry to have this little kitten all to myself.

The family room bed is bigger than any of our individual beds, and if feels empty when only one other person is sharing it with me. Themis is nice to snuggle, the scent of aether and petrichor a soothing combination, and he’s quite warm, but... well. He’s not Thancred. Or Hades the Amazing Space Heater.

Given that it’s been very damp and windy these past few days, I’d hoped for the incredible space heater, but the pair of them are playing least in sight, and haven’t told me anything. Not mentally, not verbally, not even by text.

Hyth had promised to talk to Hades about his nonsense, and I know Shtola hadn’t left without talking to Thancred, but now it feels like the only thing that’s happened is that the situation has been made worse. Should I have just said yes to Themis and Hyth instead? Is this my fault somehow?

Themis’s hand runs gently over my hair as I sniffle and try to push back on the hurt and the tears. Some of this is definitely hormones, making me a lot more anxious and prone to crying than I normally am. But even if I hadn’t been overly hormonal, this would’ve still hurt.

“They’ll come around,” he murmurs softly.

“But when?” I know I’m whining, but I can’t help it. “We’re into month two and now they’re not even-”

Part of me wants to lose my temper and go bang on some doors so I can yell. But yelling won’t fix this, and all it’ll likely do is push both of them even farther away. 

As if sensing my distress, I hear a whimper from the bassinet nearest the bed. Oddly enough, Irene seems to be... ‘in tune’ as it were, with my emotional state. If I’m upset, she gets fussy much more often than her sister. (I wonder if some of that isn’t because I’m soulbound to both her fathers....)

I slip out of Themis’s comforting hold and get up so I can go check on her, leaning wearily on the edge of the bassinet as I reach in and gently stroke little wisps of hair. She snuffles a little, squiggles about, then settles with a sigh, kicking her feet a couple of times.

I wonder what babies dream about...

Once I’m certain she’s settled back into sleep I move to sit on the edge of the bed instead; Themis once more wraps around me, resting his chin on my shoulder so he can press a kiss to my cheek. It’s sweet and soft, and I do appreciate it, it’s just... he’s not who I want, or need, at the moment.

I still lean back against him, because I’m no longer certain that the person I want most wants to be with me, despite how tangled together we are.

“I wish I knew what to do...”

Themis takes a breath like he’s about to speak when the door opens with a faint little creak. Both of us look up, and I lean forward a little as someone tall slips into the room. The nightlights throw only dim light near the ground, so it takes me a moment to recognize Hyth, and it’s mostly by the way he walks.

“Apologies for my tardiness,” Hyth murmurs as he drops onto the bed next to me and wraps both of us up in his arms. “I near took a leaf from your book, glimmerwing, and threatened to bite Hades.”

I blink. Giggle a little. It’s not really all that comforting to hear, but at the same time, that is a funny mental image.

“Would it have gotten the point across?” I ask, doing my best to keep my voice from wobbling.

“I am uncertain, but I do believe he understands that he’s hurting you as much as his own child.” Hyth sighs then flops along the mattress, making me squeak as he pulls Themis and me down with him. “I can promise no grand changes, but perhaps he will be less.... Dramatic. In short order.”

“...does he know how to be less dramatic?”

Hyth chuckles softly, planting a kiss between my ears.

“Sometimes. He does understand that his fear is unhelpful, and illogical, but,” a gentle shrug is followed by a small nuzzle. Hyth can be damn sweet when he wants to be, and I admit, I direly need that. “Well. We shall see.”

I want to push more about Hades’ other past lives; did he really only ever have kids as Solus? And not take care of them at all? But I don't know that it'll do anything here, and here is where the changes need to happen. I don't want him, or Thancred, to decide that leaving, or being least in sight, is their best choice.

Curled between Themis and Hyth, I can’t help but feel a bit guilty. They have done more for me this past month than Hades or Thancred, simply by being on baby duty when I need to get some rest. And also putting up with hissy miqo'te instincts and baby clingyness, and me whining endlessly about Thancred and Hades. 

Am I taking advantage of them...?

“...thanks. Both of you. I... I'm not exactly-”

“You have two very small, very adorable reasons to be off-kilter,” Hyth interrupts. “I was watching the aether, and it worked many changes upon you to give us these delightful kittens.”

“And you have every right to be upset by the lack of support from Hades and Thancred,” Themis adds. “I had thought, with the mediation completed in favor of a child that is theirs and yours, this would not be as difficult on them as it seems to be. And Irene knows her fathers, as Rihana knows us. Even this young...”

I nod, and feel resignation tightening my throat. I had a father figure, but he... well. Was a figure only. When I got to Difficult Teenage Years, he disappeared on me. I'd never known how to reach out to him as I'd grown up and wished to have positive male figures in my life.

I don't want that for our girl. But I have no idea how to address this.

I press my face into Themis's shoulder and sniffle a bit, trying to stifle the tears. Stupid hormones. In response, Themis and Hyth.... basically squish me, which helps me feel a little bit better. I knew this whole mess wasn't going to be sunshine and roses, but this is a difficulty I hadn't really anticipated.

“I wish I knew what to do,” I mumble. “And I wish it didn't hurt so much...”

“You love them,” Themis says simply. “It is a choice you make every day, even when it hurts. You've made it for all of us, as far back as when you extended your hand to me on the First, despite my utilization of Ardbert's body. When you tricked Emet-Selch into appearing on the First, when you accepted Thancred's suggestion of testing out a romantic relationship, when you traveled back to Elpis not once, but twice, to lay down a path to this very future. So yes. It will hurt. But they also choose to love you, asteri. We all do.”

“Indeed,” and Hyht plants a kiss between my ears that makes me feel a little teary all over again. “I believe they will figure it out. I doubt either will be able to keep themselves away from you for many more nights, and not just for your delightful-”

I elbow him with a small hiss of embarrassment, but I admit, the playful tease does make me feel a little bit better. So does Themis's resigned-amused sigh, and Hyth's unrepentant snickering even as he cuddles us both.

In her own bassinet, I hear Rihana start fussing, and a familiar smell wafts through the air not long after. I sigh and get up; if one girl needs changing, the other should follow suit shortly, and then it'll be time for more food, singing, stories-

The door creaks gently open as I reach Rihana, and Thancred slips in, holding... I squint. Bottles? I think those shapes are bottles...

“I, ah... Got some warmers enchanted for them,” he says, crossing the floor slowly. “I know tisn't good to leave... I mean.. I was hoping to-”

I snort a little, picking Rihana up as her fussing starts shifting into full blown cries, then point with my free hand at Irene’s bassinet.

“Make sure her diaper is dry while I change her sister, and then we can see about you feeding her.”

Hyth makes an amused noise as Thancred nods rapidly, turning to put the bottles down... elsewhere. Probably the end table...

I take Rihana over to her changing table--and that had been fun to explain to Hades when I'd asked him to make it for me. The amount of sketching I'd needed to do, honestly--and get her all cleaned up, and find myself trying not to giggle as I hear Hyth whispering instructions to Thancred on how to do the same. While I can't see terrible far without my glasses, and the low light doesn't help, a glance over my shoulder towards the bed lets me at least see Themis's posture, and just going by the slant of his shoulders, he's amused... and pleased?

I carefully pin the clean diaper in place, tossing the dirty one into the bin for later washing--enchanted bin to keep the room from being stinky, and also remove the worst of the muck, a spell given to me by Matoya of all people--and then scoop up my lavander-white baby, spinning her gently to get a giggle out of her.

Over at Irene's table, I hear her sneeze. And then Thancred sneezes. And then Hyth sneezes.

“....did you get attacked by the baby powder?” I ask knowingly, even as I hand Rihana off to the eagerly waiting Themis. I swipe my glasses as I go so I can see better, and sure enough, there seems to be a fine coat of powder over the three of them.

“It all came out quickly,” Thancred says a bit plaintively.

I snicker at him.

“Go wash yourselves up, you pair of powder puffs. Them, you okay to watch Hana?”

“Always, asteri.”

I smile fondly at him--because he loves nothing more than being put in charge of his daughter--then go over to pick up Irene, who sneezes a couple more times, and then whines like she's going to start wailing.

“Thanks. I'll give Rini a bath, and then Thancred gets to learn how to hold a baby~”

“I feel as though I have been threatened,” Thancred complains, even as he walks into the bathroom ahead of me.

“That's because you have,” Hyth replies with a chuckle.

I only hum, and reach over to turn on the sink.

“I see the baby slings Father brought are getting some use!”

I look up from my book as Haurchefant smiles at me, and sit up a little more, smiling fondly back.

“Yup. It took a bit, but Thancred has been baby-bewitched~”

Which is absolutely not a problem in my opinion, though it does leave me pondering Hades and his continued reluctance. Maybe I really will have to drop one of the girls on him and make him hold her until he stops being stupid...

“I am glad,” and Haurchefant drops himself down onto the couch next to me, before holding out his new arms. “What do you think? Cid says they should stand up to more rigorous combat, of the sort that perhaps might be found elsewhere in the world~”

“Are you going travelling?” I ask, surprised. “Of your own volition and not just being dragged hither and yon by me or someone else?”

“Not at the moment, darling friend,” and he pinches my cheek, a move so delicate that I almost bite him on reflex. Brat. “But I wished to be ready for whenever the next adventure comes. For will it not?”

“It will, but I'm hoping to stay out of the immediate next adventure. At least as much as I can anyways...”

I admittedly don't remember much of the high or lowlights with Zero. I know that she was the voidsent who made the deal with Zenos for his reaper skills, I know she should've been a hero like Aurora, I know the Thirteenth is a mess, and interfering in it, both to save Azdaja and help the world recover is not a terrible plan.

But I also now have two children that aren't even two months old. I cannot help on those sorts of things, not in good conscience. And I admit, I’m hoping for a very long break before any of the Dawntrail nonsense happens, even if that means I won’t remember how it goes nearly as much as everything we’ve already been through.

Admittedly, it’s part of why I haven’t yet reached out to Estinien to pass that message to Vrtra. I don’t know that I’ll be able to avoid all of it, and I don’t want to be away from my babies...

“You did say you were wishful of a more advisory role,” Huarchefant says after a moment, nodding a bit. “Would you truly be needed in the next bound of mischief?”

“Ideally, no, but... maybe. I’m not sure. It’s complicated, and weird, and I don’t remember all of it. And I have babies that I am absolutely not going to expose to any dangers other than normal household chaos which-”

Darling, you need to come out to the yard and see this~

I blink, and tip my head a little, looking towards the wall that is covered in shelves on nothing more than reflex.

Why, what’s happening?

Something you’ll love to see. Come look!

“Everything all right?” Haurchefant asks, concern clear in his normally boisterous tone.

“...I think so? Thancred wants me to come outside. He didn’t sound harried, but he’s not saying anything else...”

If anything he sounded pleased...

I shrug after a moment and get to my feet. Hyth has Riahan since Themis had gone to do something with Urianger and the Loporrits--I hadn’t asked, and Hyth  had been more than happy to volunteer to carry her around while the weather was nice--and head towards the door that will lead outside.

Hades, I know, likes napping. In his own words, it makes time pass faster, though I also know he naps less now because of everyone he has to share that time with. But it’s not a habit he’s given up entirely.

Thancred grins at me, draping his arm over my shoulder and nodding politely at Haurche as I pause at the sight before em.

There’s a couple thick blankets spread out on the ground, with Hades and Hyth stretched out on them. Hyth is using Hades’ shoulder as a pillow, no big surprise there, and has Rihana on his chest, one hand curled along her back while she also naps. Which is adorable, and I swear, if he did not put sunscreen on her...

But it registers after a moment, what Thancred wanted me to see. Irene on Hades’ chest, as passed out as her sister, and Hades holding her protectively just the same as Hyth.

“It was Hyth’s idea,” Thancred says softly. “He insisted upon matching with Hades, and Hades has a worse time telling him no than you.”

“Devious lavender man,” I hum softly. “Very very devious. I’m guessing he put up a fuss about it?”

Thancred nods.

“When Hyth said that he’d hold them both is when Hades gave in. He said something about not crowding them together like that, but I was already, erm... ‘working’ on convincing some of these plants they want to bear further harvests for us, so I couldn’t help.”

“You’re both devious. Is he really sleeping?”

“I’m almost positive, but he could just be faking,” Thancred shrugs gently. “They should stay down for another hour or so, right?”

“....maybe. Depends on when the girls went to sleep.”

Two hour napping increments aren’t easy on anyone, but nap-shifts between the five of us--and anyone else willing to lend a hand--make it bearable. Sometimes, anyways. (I may have started bawling the other day because I spilled some sugar on the floor. It had been kind of a hard night...)

“Next time, get Hyth to convince him to be inside before passing out, I say after a moment. “There better be magical sunscreen, or he’s gonna be the one dealing with the sunburn.”

Thancred makes an amused sound, and presses a kiss to my temple. Haurche gently claps his hands, but the clank of metal on metal apparently startles Hades enough that his eyes pop open to give the filthiest scowl imaginable.

I just wiggle my fingers at him cheekily, too relieved to really be upset by the face he’s making. The glare fades to embarrassed exasperation, but he at least is smart enough to not move.

“I should take pictures,” I muse with a not-even-slightly innocent grin. “Papas and babies~ Oh, or maybe set up family picture time on the bench after everyone’s woken up from nappies.”

“...why did I agree to marry you again?” Hades grouses.

“Cause you love me~”

His mouth opens. Closes. He scowls and looks away. Thancred snickers.

“Haurche, you wanna stay for dinner?”

“I would love to,” he says immediately. “If there is room for me, and supplies.”

“Room, always. Food... uh...” I frown. “I have not been keeping track. F’lhaminn kinda took over the kitchen last month and I’ve been busy with baby-time...”

“Let’s go find our current mistress of meals, and see what we might need to handle an extra mouth or two,” Thancred says in amusement. “I’m fairly certain Themis will be returning with Urianger tonight as well, so we may as well see what needs adjusting so that F’lhaminn doesn’t try to turn one of us into stew instead.”

I snicker at him, and watch him leading Haurchefant on, doing a much better job than I had of admiring the new prosthetics. I wander over to Hades so I can plop down next to him. He sighs, but shifts his free arm enough that I can snuggle myself up against him, which I am quite happy to do.

“You know, I honestly though her eyes were going to be some shade of yellow,” I say once I’m comfortable. “I hope she can at least see better than me...”

“...she may yet look adorable in glasses. As you do.”

I shift up to press a kiss to his cheek.

“See? Not nearly as scary.”

He scoffs, if gently, and lifts his hand slightly; his fingers are trembling minutely.

“She is so small...”

“She won’t be small for long,” I point out. “Babies grow faster than you think. They’re only just two months now, but you’ll blink and suddenly it’ll be six months and she’ll be a whole two feet long.”

So maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit. It’s worth it to see his hand rest on Irene’s back again, protective and soft.

“I... am sorry. For the distress.”

“I forgive you. It’s scary. But you know, we’re doing it scared, and we’re figuring it out. Just... try not to avoid her, okay? Kids are perceptive at all ages. Being one third child of a spy, and one third child of a drama llama, I imagine she’s going to be a curious little handful when she gets older.”

“...would that I could argue this, but...”

“...I don’t like that but.”

“The color of her soul is... disturbingly familiar.” He sighs after a moment as I stare at him. “I do believe Venat has decided to be reborn as our first daughter.”

I consider that. Snort.

“Sounds like Venat. Well. We’ll have to teach her and Hana how to be safe as they get older. Maybe we can go to the moon and get Argos to spawn; he’s a familiar, he can come be their pet bestie, or something.”

I feel the faint shudder of his chest as he struggles to not laugh and wake everyone up, and smile.

It’s not all sunshine and roses.

But we’re figuring it out, just the same.