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Chongyun was not meant to see such a beautiful sight that night.
It was the end of a cloudy, fall day, the Liyue trees being stripped of their natural golden leaves by the persistent breeze that had plagued the weather for weeks. The exorcist had come from the rural side of the mountains empty-handed again and again, the tales of ghosts haunting his brain more than they were haunting the places he had tried to purify. Now, it was cold and dreary, and Chongyun was alone in the streets.
No luck on spirits, Chongyun sighed to himself. As always, his search for ghosts had been completely fruitless, leading his heart and legs heavy with disappointment and exhaustion. It seemed that the only thing he had been good at that day was avoiding contact with people, not just spirits. Liyue harbor was quiet, gloomy in the cold. Nothing was there, nothing at all. Shops, even the nightly ones, had closed down.
Chongyun didn’t blame them, it was a holiday at all… the night known to Liyue as the night of spirits. As years of folklore had spreaded, autumn not only brought the promise of winter and the idyllic falling of leaves, but ghosts, ghouls, and demons as well. It was when the last Yaksha was most active— it was when Rex Lapis, when he was still alive, would sharpen his claws rather than his pen and greet the old, hateful gods who silently plotted to rise and retake their throne.
It was when Chongyun thought he’d have the most luck. Yet, not only were his pockets empty of mora, but his goals were as well. Damn yang energy, he lamented quietly. Having little else to do, he solemnly walked up an empty street, heading for his abode when he saw what no man would ever expect to see on a horrible, cursed midnight like this.
A noble dressed in the whites of what looked to be wedding attire, perched idyllically on a balcony— beautiful, absolutely beautiful— like a swan looking out to a storm. Blinking, Chongyun couldn’t help but let a silent, shaky breath out, puffing a small cloud of heat into the cold air. He had never seen someone so effortlessly gorgeous before.
Blue hair, gentle faced, thin, the younger man who seemed to be about Chongyun’s age, was puffing smoke from a long winded pipe made from an expensive looking porcelain, smiling softly at the sky as if deep in a pleasant thought. He wore a frilly sort of top— and like wings, they delicately framed his wrists that made the action of smoking, something that never interested Chongyun, suddenly tantalizing.
Why was someone so… so… why was he out on a night like this? Blinking rapidly, Chongyun tried his hardest to walk past the man as unphased and unassuming as possible while sneaking a few more looks at this stunning figure. But, their eyes met, making Chongyun stop. Golden, even brighter than the shiny sides of polished mora, stared down at him. The boy, helpless, couldn’t help but stop and gawk at the attention. Neither of their eyes left each other; Chongyun didn’t blink, as if worried that if he did, this man would somehow disappear or be lost to memory the minute his attention wasn’t on him.
Casually, the man smirked in a knowing way, pressing the pipe to his lips and letting out a cloud of smoke leave his mouth after a long moment.
“Like me,” he started, his voice soft as silk. Chongyun couldn’t believe it— his voice was even more beautiful than his appearance. “I see you’re walking alone.”
Chongyun gulped, feeling the prickles of anxiety and elation fill his heart, ever burning, as a surge of his yang energy led his face to become bright red. Now he wondered truly, if this man was a swan. Gracefully, he stepped up on the balcony, making Chongyun yelp in fear for his fall— before, as if flying down, leaped off it and landed carefully beside him with a barely noticeable thump. Not a drop of dirt, or wetness from the rain.
The man smiled, tilting his head playfully. “Won’t you please stay?”
Chongyun couldn’t look away.
“I…” Quickly searching for a popsicle in his bag, Chongyun cursed himself for not packing more for his trip, finding he was freshly out. Giving the man an anxious look, he nodded lightly. “I… I can manage staying.”
He eyed his clothes once more, before his face, trying his hardest not to act like a bumbling freak. “I… who are you?” Was all he could manage at advancing a conversation.
“Who are you? My, you know it's rude to promptly just ask for a person’s identity. Pleasantries first, my liege.” The man chuckled, tapping his pipe promptly on Chongyun’s head, making him yelp a bit. It wasn’t painful, barely a pat, but still— unexpected. Finding himself rude, he flushed even brighter (as if it was even possible) and bowed apologetically.
“Ah— I-I’m sorry… I just…”
“No worries. I’m Xingqiu.” Xingqiu hummed, looking out to the sky once again. The night was gloomy, cloudy, and ever so dull— but Chongyun, following his gaze, found that the clouds were starting to part. It was as if Xingqiu had commanded them too just with the silent plea to see the stars, and Chongyun couldn’t blame the sky for following it. As stars started to peek through, shining into the golden irises that looked deep into the sky and then deep into his soul— he couldn’t help but want to kiss Celestia’s gods for letting him see such a sight.
“I’ve seen you around a few times. Running around with that errand boy— or the cook from Wamin… It's hard not to miss such a face from my balcony.”
“I’ve never seen you at all,” Chongyun bluntly stated, before quickly finding himself sounding rude again. This ‘Xingqiu’ had been watching him? How could he have missed such a beautiful man staring intently at him? Was he really that oblivious?
Half expecting another slap of his pipe, Xingqiu only chuckled softly, a sound that felt like a lullaby to his frayed senses. Maybe Chongyun was just tired and he had seen him before, but he felt like a fool to not have recognized him.
“It’s alright. I don’t expect you to. I stay indoors, after all.” Xingqiu closed his eyes reflectively. “I only see you in the evenings. You’re an exorcist, are you not?”
“I— yes.” He paused, feeling exposed for a moment before putting his hand on his heart. “I’m Chongyun. Glad to meet you, Xingqiu.”
“I bet you’re looking for spirits tonight,” Xingqiu inquired and he slowly nodded. It was a little startling how much he had read of him, just watching. However, Chongyun didn’t feel exactly scared. If he had seen Xingqiu before tonight, he would’ve tried to research everything he could about him as well.
“I see. It's a good night to look for them. It’s quiet and people are wary. If I were an exorcist, I’d be searching for ghosts as well.” Carefully, the ethereal man walked past him, his eyes locked on the blurry light of the moon, now starting to peak through the clouds. “Yet, from your solemn face, I bet you haven’t seen any, have you?”
Chongyun’s eyes became downcast. He sighed, his shoulders drooping. “No,” he admitted painfully. “Sometimes I feel like a failure of an exorcist. Despite practicing hundreds of exorcisms, not once have I ever seen a spirit in person.”
Xingqiu nodded softly, his smile ever present.
“Have you ever seen one, Xingqiu?”
“I’ve heard a saying once from a friend,” Xingqiu started, and Chongyun tilted his head curiously. “He once told me that in moments where you feel lost, a moment of solitude is what you might need. A good book helps as well, though… some may lose the skill to get lost in one.”
The silkiness of Xingqiu’s voice brought him closer, Chongyun careful to not disturb his train of thought with even the prospect of noise. “I love the night for that very reason. The day can be fun, of course, but the nights are so quiet… so peaceful… so secluded. Many find the dark terrifying, but I can’t make myself mind it. Some just live to see those rays… simply slip away.”
The exorcist sighed softly after a moment of silence. “Are you a poet?”
“Oh, how I wish I was,” Xingqiu chuckled softly, before pressing a hand on his shoulder. Chongyun felt little of his touch through his jacket— it was almost impactless— yet it still took his breath away. “Please, come and join me on my balcony, my liege. If you would mind welcoming me tonight.”
Chongyun didn’t have to be asked twice, finding his mind and body to be as pliant as it was half asleep. Careful to not trip Xingqiu or get too ahead of him, he followed the ambling man up through the stairway, leading to the open balcony leading onto the view of Liyue harbor’s horizon. The sea air was obvious here now, and Chongyun couldn’t help but take a breath in.
A moment of solitude, his mind lingered. He hoped he wasn’t intruding on anything.
“Nights like these… the only time anyone would go out would be if they weren’t scared of spirits, completely lost, or looking for them.” Chongyun muttered hesitantly. He adjusted his coat. “So, why are you out? Besides for a… a moment of solitude.”
“Guess.” Xingqiu inquired, smirking. Quickly, Chongyun tried to wrack his brain for answers. He watched as the man took another puff of his pipe, and momentarily he wondered if he was even legally allowed to do such an action.
“I… to look for ghosts too?” Chongyun tried, finding his own reasoning quite stupid. “Or… you’re just out to smoke— where no one will catch you.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” Xingqiu muttered back. Chongyun frowned at his vagueness. “There are many reasons to be out on a cursed night. I never am one to limit myself to just one cause. I simply am just a man dedicated to chivalry, that's all. And if chivalry leads me to a night of rest, may it lead me there without a current of protest.”
“Is that why you’re wearing such beautiful clothing?” Chongyun paused, “I– uh— well… fancy— clothing?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” He chuckled, eyes piercing. “What do you think, my liege?”
Opening his mouth, Chongyun found himself even more confused. Seeing his puzzled expression, Xingqiu sighed.
“Chivalry is a moral code which demands self reflection. Perseverance, honor, loyalty… are all things you must make sure you are in line with as one following the code. However, sometimes, the rules of chivalry lack tact… and in my case, lack cooperation. What you want and what chivalry wants often clashes. Sometimes… it is hard to see how chivalry can be applied to some situations, so, I do what I know. I go here, for a moment of solitude, and think.” He looked at him. “Maybe, it goes the same for you. You have a code to yourself that in some scenarios, finds itself in a paradox— where one option will make you happier but break your code, and the other… well, you forever worry if you made the right decision.”
Chongyun hummed in response, his mind heavy with Xingqiu's words. Suddenly, Chongyun felt a sense of unease. What was he doing here? Talking to a stranger in the dark… listening to cryptic words… was he so easy that a pretty face like Xingqiu’s could cut all his walls down?
“I-its getting darker.” Chongyun said quickly, before looking at Xingqiu, half apologetically. He didn’t find the man threatening at all, well, besides for being intimidatingly beautiful, but it still felt wrong. He should be getting home.
“Leaving already?” Xingqiu frowned, and Chongyun suddenly felt clammy. He closed his eyes, his lashes delicately shining from the moonlight on his face. “Very well. I can’t expect you to talk to me all night.”
I want to; Chongyun’s impulses wanted to stay, but he held firm. He dipped his head to Xingqiu respectfully, before starting to climb down the stairs.
“Might I accompany you back?” Xingqiu’s silky voice called, so tempting… “No, I really should get home. I don’t want you being in danger coming back here. I’ll be fine. No one will bother me.”
Disappointed, Xingqiu nodded back, his eyes tilting back to the sky. Chongyun couldn’t help but watch for a final moment. The smoke from his pipe; the clean, pearly white batwing sleeves; the moonlight embracing his face; suspicious, he was, but beautiful… Chongyun sighed. Climbing down the staircase and exiting to the street, he heard a final call from Xingqiu,
“Goodbye, Chongyun.”
As Chongyun looked up to say goodbye back, he found that there was no trace of anyone on the balcony’s side. He immediately felt bad. Had he disrupted his moment of solitude, putting him in a bad mood and making him leave? Shame Chongyun was so socially inept…
“Goodbye…” He couldn’t help whisper to the winds apologetically, before he returned to stroll through the streets of Liyue, replaying the conversation over and over in his mind.
.
.
.
The next day, Chongyun wasn’t too surprised that he had not stopped thinking about Xingqiu. He had woken up in particularly bad shape; clammy, dehydrated, and oddly— cold. He never felt cold. Still, his usual routine of cold noodles, ice water and light stretches easily made him feel like himself again. He also woke up with a strange sense of calm, which was also a little strange. Usually, with his Yang energy, he would wake up energized for another day of training, however this morning he took an unusually long time to rise. It was like his bed was calling for him, pulling him in and making him want to sleep a little while longer… maybe even forever.
Still, his strange physical state didn’t compare to his biggest concern: was he rude to Xingqiu last night? Chongyun tried not to worry about what others thought about him, but it was tough not to. It was especially concerning when it was a person who seemed to starstruck him to no end.
So strange for me to be acting like this… but, no matter his own feelings, he still felt it was right to at least take the time to apologize for leaving so early to Xingqiu. Chongyun decided the best place to get an apology gift was Xiangling’s restaurant. It gave him an excuse to pick up his weekly order of popsicles as well, despite him probably not needing any today with how oddly cold he felt.
Walking through town, he was quite relieved to see signs of life again. It had been a while since he had been truly in town when not only he was up, but people as well. In his prior mission, he was alone, and the only person he had laid eyes on for days had probably been Xingqiu.
Greeting Xiangling’s father politely at the restaurant’s entrance, Xiangling herself, as if hearing Chongyun’s voice from a mile away, ran out with a big box of popsicles, as usual. “Ah! Chongyun, you’re back. Any luck with spirits?”
“No, not this time.” Chongyun sighed wistfully, before taking the order from her hands with a nod. She frowned at him, sharing his disappointment like all the other times the exorcist had come to her, emptyhanded. “Oh, but— I do have a request. What’s your best sweet dish?”
“Oh, sweet dishes? We don’t really have many deserts on the menu, but I can make just about anything you have your mind on. You want almond tofu? Cake? Slime infused lollipops? I can freeze them for you so they don’t trigger any yang reactions for you.”
Chongyun chuckled awkwardly. “Ah… well… I mainly want something that anyone would like. I made a friend last night but I had to leave abruptly. I feel really bad, so I wanted to give them something to make sure they don’t think that I left because I didn’t like them.”
“Oh? Well, I must know them. What’s their name? If they’ve been a customer, I can easily make something to their taste. I have never forgotten a customer!” Xiangling said proudly, hand on her hip. Chongyun saw the practical stars in her eyes; it was very rare for Chongyun to ask for anything that wasn’t bland or boring for her to cook, so he guessed this must’ve been a great surprise.
“His name’s Xingqiu, if that rings a bell.”
Suddenly, her face dropped into momentary confusion, her eyes looking away as if she was wracking her brain for the details. She put a finger on her chin thoughtfully, before giving Chongyun a slightly embarrassed look. “Oh dear… I don’t know that name. Maybe I just haven’t cooked for them before. What does he look like?”
“Ah… well,” Chongyun blushed. “He’s… he has blue hair… he was wearing a fancy outfit when I saw him… he was very uh— good looking. I don’t remember what else.”
Xiangling gave him a curious look, but shook her head. “Strange. Are you sure it wasn’t someone from the Feiyun Commerce Guild? They’re the only family in Liyue Harbor who I can name who has fancy duds and blue hair. But I thought that they only had one son. Xingqiu doesn’t ring a bell.”
“Interesting.” Chongyun muttered. “Well, he must just be from a different family, then.”
“Where did you meet him?”
“Ah—” he hesitated. “Last night. He was on a balcony and told me he knew me before inviting me to join him. We talked for a while, but I left abruptly. I think I might have offended him.”
“Oh…” Xiangling muttered. Her face seemed to become momentarily downcast with concern, and Chongyun didn’t blame him. He wasn’t the type to converse with strangers in the dark, either— unless it strictly was for business. “Well, I’ll try my best to make something everyone likes. No one would pass up Osmanthus cake, right? I collected some petals earlier and have been dying to use them.”
“Sounds perfect,” Chongyun thanked, nodding as she went back to the kitchen. Waiting outside, Chongyun wondered more carefully about Xingqiu. He was so vague about why he was out last night, other than a ‘moment of solitude’. Chongyun felt a little guilty; he had assumed the man to be weird after he got over the shock of his appearance. Maybe he had been a bit shallow to assume that he wasn’t just lonely and looking for conversation while he smoked, as many people did. But why last night? Who was he?
Archons, Chongyun felt so confused. As Xiangling came out with a freshly baked slice of Osmanthus cake, he struggled to get her to take payment, before finally having her relent and take mora for her work. Popsicles and treats in tow, he left to quickly find Xingqiu’s balcony, careful not to drop or melt his order.
Passing through the crowd that had now accumulated in the harbor, he looked up at the balcony just over the street to find it empty of anyone. He had to admit he was a little disappointed. It was the only place he had ever seen Xingqiu lurk, so who knew where else he would be. Inclined to still go up on the balcony, he found a guard at the entrance, thin and cut throat.
“Halt!”
Chongyun paused obediently. The guard glared at him, and the food, strangely. “This balcony is closed for the day.”
“Oh…” Chongyun paused. “I’m sorry, sir.”
“If you have any offerings to the Feiyun Commerce Guild, then go and meet them yourself. The lady of the guild has locked this balcony to anyone who is not of family in respect of her second son.”
“Second… second son?” Chongyun muttered. But he thought Xiangling had said there was only one. The guard, losing patience, stuck a bony finger out to him accusingly. “Go.”
Again, obediently, he did.
.
.
.
Running out of ideas, Chongyun had finally gotten to the point where he decided to just clench his teeth and go to the Feiyun Commerce Guild residence himself. He felt extremely rude to not have at least an excuse to go there for business (the Feiyun Commerce Guild was very well known for their prestige, so bluntly walking in felt wrong). Still, he considered it was for the best. If they had known his gift was in respect to the second son of the guild, maybe they’d forgive his transgression.
Getting to the entrance of the courtyard, he awkwardly waited for at least a servant or staff member to notice the lost-looking man on the other side of the gate. The guild was, as he expected of a rich family, set in a huge household that others could only look at with jealousy. Feeling out of his element, he watched as an older gentleman swept awkwardly in wait for him to notice. After a moment of waiting, he cleared his throat, and the tired servant looked up.
“Ah, hello. I apologize. The Feiyun Commerce Guild is not taking any business today. You must be mistaken about your appointment date. Please, come back tomorrow.” The servant recited, as if saying it a thousand times before.
“I–I don’t come for an appointment.” Chongyun stated. That seemed to catch his interest. Curious, the man cleaned his glasses and walked forward to glance at the cake and box in his hands (Chongyun momentarily worried if his popsicles were melting as they spoke).
“Oh? An offering?” Chongyun nodded, giving a respectful bow to him— even if he was a servant.
“Y-yes. Nothing more. I met with the guild’s son last night and left in a hurry. I wanted to give an apology gift.”
Carefully, the servant looked at him as if weighing his options. With a sigh, he opened the door for him. “Very well. I don’t know how open the family will be to talk to you, but the lady is here in the house, if you’d like to give it to her. She would be thankful.”
Thankful, Chongyun walked into the courtyard. He walked through it a little aimlessly, not knowing exactly where to go if not for an appointment. However, he eventually found a woman he deemed the probable “lady of the house” the servant and guard had spoken off.
Dressed in similar clothing style to Xingqiu, she was a little taller and older— probably his mother. She was adorned with jewelry, dark, silk robes, and screamed of wealth. However, her face was sad and worn, as if she had been crying for a long, long while.
Her eyes met Chongyun’s, and they immediately filled with annoyance. “Who are you? I thought Xu told everyone who walked through here that no business would be done today.”
“I—” My, were people of the guild all this unfriendly? He quickly bowed, low, before offering the cake. “I’m very sorry. I wanted to give a gift to your son. I… I am probably intruding on a special day. Forgive me.”
Suddenly, as if Chongyun had said a special incantation, the woman sputtered and completely melted off any anger, her voice soft and sweet. “For… for my son? Oh, oh dear…”
She came over, holding Chongyun’s face like a mother, hugging him wildly. “Oh, I’m so sorry, you’re so sweet. I… we haven’t gotten a gift for Xingqiu for three years. My… oh, oh, dear…”
“Ah— really?” Chongyun spoke, confused. He flushed slightly at the sudden hug, politely pushing her away to look concerningly at her now wet face. Xingqiu didn’t seem like a person that would never get gifts— nor did he think it was such a problem that his own mother would burst into tears when he finally got one.
Wiping her tears, she sniffled. “Forgive me. I just get emotional this time of year. Oh, my son…”
Is he not here? Chongyun blinked, before carefully placing the slice of osmanthus cake in her hands. She smiled thankfully at him. “It’s been a while since we had a fellow mourner. Are you one of Xingqiu’s friends?”
Mourner? Chongyun stiffened.
“Three years ago, we lost him. It was horrible— I was the one who found him. Oh, sweet Xingqiu… I never expected someone to be so cruel to us— especially one who wasn’t even involved in business yet. He was murdered.”
“What?” Chongyun stammered, before grabbing her shoulders suddenly, surprising her. Xingqiu, three years ago, murdered.
“Oh archons,” She spoke, covering her mouth. “Did you not hear how he died? Oh, Xingqiu… he was just about to be married. He was so mad at his father and I for assigning him to a lady that he went to one of the balconies in town… where someone, oh so cruel, pushed him off right before the day of his wedding. That was the first and last time… we ever learned he smoked.”
Chongyun’s face heated up, his hands shivering with energy. His mind felt blurry, yet, he still stayed to his sanity to hear her next words of “—his grave is over there.” He practically ran to it, slammed down onto the rough gravel covering Xingqiu’s resting place and barely felt the blood seeping through his pants. His yang energy made his heart beat face, his mind whirl even faster. What a fool he was.
He… how had he not known? It was so obvious now. Xingqiu disappearing, the locked balcony, the only “one son” known…
Yet Chongyun hadn’t realized. He had met his mission and didn’t even know. He had not lifted up his hand, screamed an incantation, and placed a sigil. And he didn’t even think of exorcising it. Him. What a fool.
He had found him pretty, found him enchanting. He should’ve realized it himself.
Chongyun had met his first ghost. And he had fallen in love with it.