Chapter Text
The news came too fast. There was a disaster in Godric’s Hollow, something had gone seriously wrong. The Order had sensed that something had been really off lately, and they sent Remus up north to do some digging. The werewolves had been more and more active in their attacks, and more had been spotted aligning themselves with Voldemort. It was all leading to something big, and that big had just happened.
He tried desperately to get ahold of his friends. He called James and Lily’s house to immediately disconnect. This started the panic, nobody but Peter and Dumbledore should know of Potters’ location, but suddenly he knew it was Godric’s Hollow. Something must be wrong. He rang again and again, disconnecting all three times. The rest of the families had no phone, relying on owls, so there was nobody else for him to call.
As Remus ran from the phone booth to try floo powder, a streak of light brightened the cold night air, briefly warming him. A bird screeched overhead, Dumbledore’s phoenix. It dropped the note clamped in its beak into Remus’s hands and disappeared once more. In handwriting that looked nothing like Dumbledore’s usual neat cursive, a scrawl read
“James and Lily Potter are dead. Do not attempt visitation for the safety of the Order.”
To hell with the Order, Remus thought initially, contemplating apparition. But something held him back. A part of him that couldn’t betray Dumbledore. He knew that apparition into Godric’s Hollow would be incredibly dangerous for the entire Order, and while Remus never really had a sense of self-preservation, he knew that he couldn’t endanger Peter and Sirius further. So he waited.
For days he waited. For Sirius to come, for an owl, anything from anyone. Northern England was so cold and so lonely, and the full moon was fast approaching. He knew that his grief and fear would only amplify his condition when the time came. He was angry that they were forcing him to deal with this alone. He didn’t doubt that everyone was doing their job, but he had no contact with any of the members of the army, not even Sirius, who never abided by the rules, had come to check on him.
He was right in his assumption, his change this month was particularly painful. He had woken with a gnarly gash straight across his chest, throbbing with each beat of his heart. With that, his usual dislocation and a new scar to the plethora up his arms. The chill in the air penetrated his bandages and stung the deep wounds each time he stepped outside.
It was nearing winter now, and Remus grew impatient. His mind was always preoccupied with worries for his friends, who had still not contacted him. His mission to spy on the werewolves completely forgotten, he continued waiting until he saw a glimpse of a newspaper in a shop window. Remus had been biding his time in a wizarding town, trying to glean information from anyone about what was going on. His questions were answered in the form of a moving picture and a headline.
“Sirius Black Found Guilty for Murder of James and Lily Potter”
Remus’s heart sank to the cobbled street beneath him. Memories of James and Sirius through their years at Hogwarts. Tearful nights in the dormitory and those sparse reunions during the time of war. Remus didn’t know Sirius to love anyone more than he loved James. His breath came in short bursts, something inhuman inside him stirring. Hot tears welled in his eyes. He had been angry with Sirius before, but it all paled in comparison to the fury roiling in him now.
He didn’t believe it at first, but as he read the paper, he knew it must have been true. Peter was nowhere to be found, besides his finger of course, and Sirius had somehow disappeared during the investigation. Peter never was particularly brave, especially when standing up to Sirius, it must have been easy to get the location out of him.
Remus’s world crashed around him. His friends who had been the reason he made it through his years at Hogwarts. The countless nights they spent in the forbidden forest all seemed like false dreams of a life that was never real.
Sirius Black and James Potter. Padfoot and Prongs. Best friends.
Or so he thought.
Remus had never been to Azkaban before, but he was inclined to believe the rumors, and it seemed like just the place for the traitorous animal that was now Sirius Black.
Dumbledore’s silence quieted any remaining doubt in Remus’s mind. Sirius Black betrayed James and Lily, and that act shattered Remus’s already bleeding heart into shards that couldn’t be repaired.