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Min Yoongi wasn't the type of boyfriend to show affection.
If you pecked him, his only reaction would be a twitch of his perfect lips. If you wanted to hold his hand, he would only allow his little finger. I you ran your fingers through his hair or caressed his face, he would turn away from your touch. If you walked next to him, he wouldn't look at you.
And if you told him you loved him, he'd throw a glance at you and say "I know".
"Yoongi!", you exclaimed, pointing towards the huge ferris wheel in front of you, blinking through the night in hundreds of colors. He looked up, then turned towards you. "What?", he asked, apparently not aware (or not wanting to be aware) of your wish to sit in one of the gondolas and watch the city from above.
You lowered your hand, staring at him in irritation. "Oh come on, boyfriend", you muttered. "Just one time. We can leave afterwards."
It had taken you a long time to convince Yoongi of following you to the current funfair along the promenade. You knew he wasn't into those kind of things, but after you had talked to him over and over again, practically begging him to go with you for just an hour, he had sighed and agreed. But you were pretty sure he was annoyed as soon as you had entered the brightly lit, colorful area. You had tried to ignore him, riding roller costers alone, nibbling on delicious treats on your own and having him wait for you with his hands in his pockets, quiet and seemingly uncomfortable, his glance wandering over the massive crowd and all the attractions lazily and disinterested.
Now he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, a clear sign that he was stressed. "Do I have to?" You could read the refusal in every of his movements and the tone of his rough voice, yet you nodded. "Just one time", you pleaded. "Please?" Yoongi slid his hand back into his pocket and sighed another time, but then nodded slowly. "Okay", he answered, still not too enthusiastic, but giving in to your request.
You squeaked and smiled at him brightly before running towards the ferris wheel, the young man following you slowly while you got stuck and desperately fought to squeeze through the people. You bit your lip in frustration at your failure when you felt cool fingers grab your wrist and when you turned around, you looked right into Yoongi's face.
"Don't cry, little one", he taunted. "Stay with me."
You snorted at his words and earned one of his amused smirks before he let your wrist go. Yoongi had no problem with making his way through the crowd, his intimidating aura and cold eyes having the people make way. You followed him quietly, careful not to lose him, and when you looked up after a few minutes, you stood right in front of the ferris wheel.
You squealed once again at the bright, small lights all over the wheel, making it glitter colorfully in the dark, and turned around to Yoongi. He was about to pull out his purse but you stopped him which had him look up frowning. "I'll pay", you insisted, stepping up to the box office, "since you didn't originally want to ride it."
"Two tickets please", you asked of the young blonde who smiled and nodded, but before you could get any money out, your boyfriend appeared next to you, grabbed your wrist again and looked you in the eyes, clearly not amused. "You won't pay", he said quietly and before you could do anything, he had shoved the coins over the table and recieved two tickets and another friendly smile in return. You followed him to the gondolas, staring at him blankly, and when he turned around while waiting, he raised an eyebrow at your baffled expression. "Close your mouth", he advised before turning around again and handing a young man the tickets, him pointing towards the next gondola. Yoongi turned around again as you were frozen at your current spot. "Uh – weren't you the one who wanted to ride this thing?", he asked and you nodded hastily, climbing up the stairs until you stood next to him. The gondola came closer and then stopped. Yoongi gently pressed his hand into the lower part of your back, his warmth burning into your skin as he directed you towards the entrance and held the little door open for you to enter before he followed you and sat down.
He sighed while you waited for the ferris wheel to start spinning again, practically glued to the window as you finally felt you were lifted off the ground. The wheel turned slowly, giving you enough time to appreciate the glistening city in the dark and enjoying seeing the world shrink.
When you reached the top, the wheel stopped with a creaking sound and you let a short amazed "Oh" leave your lips at the sight. When you lifted your glance, Yoongi wasn't looking out of the window, but directly at you.
You felt redness rush to your cheeks immediately and lowered your glance at the intensity of the emotions that were burning in his eyes, only to have him raise your chin with his fingers again. He indicated you to concentrate on the outside without saying a word, and you knew he indicated you to let him watch you at the same time.
You agreed with a short nod, forcing yourself to look out of the window again, and sooner than later you were totally captivated by the view again, his glance on your face forgotten.
"Why didn't you want me to pay?", you broke the silence after a while, the gondola still on the highest position, slightly swinging in the wind. He seemed surprised at your question, then sighed. "I'd never let a woman pay for me", he answered and his prideful words made your heart sting, but he was quick to explain himself when he saw your face. "No, not that way. I mean, I'd never let a woman pay for something both me and her would experience – it's the same like paying for dinner on a date, you know?" He shrugged. "I guess I want to take responsibility. I'm a man after all."
You winced, pursing your lips to not let the words pass that were burning in your throat – "Take care of my feelings, then" – but you pulled yourself together. It was just the way he was and you knew he wasn't going to change that drastically for anyone. And if you were honest, you didn't want him to, you just wanted him to open up.
You took a deep breath. "Hm", you responded, not too sure what to say at that. He cocked his head to the side. "What is it, baby?", he asked, your heart jumping at the nickname he had reserved for special occasions, his hoarse, deep voice sounding soft and warm for once. You shook your head. "It's nothing", you responded, but you knew that he was going to figure out you were lying.
He raised and plopped down next to you, looking at you directly. "Tell me", he demanded and you sighed, well aware that you would give in sooner or later, turning towards him and grabbing his little finger because you knew he couldn't stand holding hands. You looked down and took a deep breeath. "I've been thinking", you started, "why it is that you don't want to be close to me?"
Your words made the world stop spinning for a second and he exhaled sharply at the hidden question and the obvious pain in your voice. "It's just how I am", he responded as calm as possible, still firmly looking at you, but you were unable to raise your glance. You pressed your lips together.
"I know", you answered. "But I thought you'd – hug me or kiss me sometimes and yet you do nothing, really." You supressed a hiccup, feeling tears creep up in your eyes but forcing them back. "I don't want to accuse you of anything, it's just something that'd been bothering me."
His slim finger touched your chin and made you raise your head. When he saw your wet eyes, he raised his thumbs to your cheeks and wiped off the tears that were threatening to fall without saying a word. "Don't cry", he spoke afterwards. "I couldn't stand that."
A few seconds later, a deep sigh left his lips. "Is it really that bad?", he asked quietly and you could see the feeling of guilt in his eyes. "I've been taught not to care and not to show emotions, just like my father did, and now you make me realize that it was wrong." He compressed his lips so hard the soft flesh turned white. "I'm sorry for making you feel that way."
He sighed again, this time his breath was shaky and insecure. "I don't do this normally, but", he lowered his glance, unable to look at you, "I like you."
Your heart fluttered. "You what?", you whispered, eager to hear the words once again.
He gritted his teeth in an attempt not to mess this up. "I-", he started, "I– goddamnit-"
He turned towards you, grabbed your face in one swift movement and let his lips mold against yours, captivating you with their warmth and leaving you breathless. It was short, nothing more than a few seconds, but when he let go, both of you had pink cheeks and your breath was heavy. You felt tears of relief roll down your face and you wiped them off quickly before answering with unsteady voice: "I love you, too."
When you two left the gondola, Yoongi quietly grabbed your hand and squeezed it tight. The rest of the evening, you didn't speak a word, but the warmth of Min Yoongi's fingers intertwined with yours was enough to keep you smiling.