Chapter Text
Soyeon is only 13 years old when she and her mom finally get away.
Her dad is a piece of shit, and both of them know it. It’s just taken this long to accept the fact that he’s not going to change—and to find the means to escape.
They’re heading several states away, just outside of a major city. The thought of leaving everything she’s ever known is very scary, but Soyeon is ready to be free. She’s sick of seeing her mom in pain, sick of the emotional toll it’s taking on both of them.
It’s actually impressive how quickly she ends up adapting.
Starting over feels good, and though Soyeon’s not the most extroverted person out there, she’s kind and funny, and kids her age are always eager to make new friends.
She ends up falling in with a small group who loves music as much as she does, maybe somehow even more.
She meets Miyeon in school—they’re in the same science class. She’s a year older than her, and a little weird, but they get along so well, almost immediately. They balance each other out in ways that Soyeon’s never found with anyone else. Miyeon just gets her; wants to protect her.
Another member of this music-loving group is Miyeon’s older brother—Jaewon. He’s only one year older than Miyeon, but that instantly makes him cool. Intimidating. And if Soyeon’s being completely honest with herself, a little bit attractive.
Jaewon has that bad boy edge that means something in Soyeon’s brain chemistry makes her drawn to him in a way that feels far too enticing. It feels wrong at first, and from what little Soyeon knows about relationships, she knows you’re probably not supposed to date your best friend’s brother. But Miyeon doesn’t seem to mind the idea that much, for what it’s worth.
Another one of their friends, Taejoon, is actually one Soyeon brings to the table. Once she moves to this city, she quickly falls into the music scene, trying out every avenue she can possibly explore.
This leads her to joining a funk cover band. The band is terrible, but the bass player is good—Taejoon has been playing since he was a child, and it shows. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knows how to slap a bass, and Soyeon is instantly impressed. He’s even older than Jaewon, by about two years, but it shows through in his talent.
Yuqi is actually the last member of the group that Soyeon meets, when Miyeon drags her to a school football game on one random Friday night.
They’re on the way back to their seats after visiting the concession stand when Miyeon spots Yuqi walking by. Ever the social butterfly, Miyeon yells across the sideline in Yuqi’s direction. Even though Yuqi was two grades below her, they had struck up an unlikely friendship, bonded together despite their differences.
”Hey!”
At the shockingly loud sound, Yuqi’s head instantly turns in their direction, and she starts walking towards them, a kind smile on her face.
”Oh, hey, Miyeon!” she says. Her voice is so much deeper than Soyeon expects, coming from such a sweet-looking girl.
Miyeon smiles big, of course—though they haven’t known each other long, there’s rarely a moment Soyeon can remember when she doesn’t have a smile on her face.
”Hey, Yuqi. Yuqi, this is Soyeon. Soyeon, this is Yuqi.”
They’re facing each other, sizing the other up. Yuqi is cute, though at first glance she looks like a bit of a dork. Lanky, even though she seems fairly short for her age. Her hair is as dark as her eyes, which feel as deep as a black hole. Soyeon finds herself almost falling into them for a moment.
Before she even realizes what’s happening, Yuqi is reaching a hand out towards her. Soyeon’s whole body stutters for just a second before she reaches a hand out on instinct, shaking Yuqi’s hand in return.
Shaking hands, like they’re middle-aged businessmen.
“Nice to meet you, Soyeon.” Yuqi’s toothy smile is genuine, her deep eyes warm.
“Nice to meet you, too, Yuqi.” Soyeon’s smile probably looks a lot less genuine, though it’s not. She’s just… not great at this kind of thing.
After that, Miyeon and Yuqi get caught up in some kind of conversation that doesn’t make much sense to Soyeon—it has her feeling like her mom ran into an old friend at the grocery store. Eventually though, the conversation turns to music.
”Hey,” Miyeon starts, nudging Soyeon lightly in the shoulder. “Don’t you like Thursday?”
Soyeon startles, having been spacing out for the past few minutes as Miyeon and Yuqi gabbed.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, they’re super cool.”
Yuqi brightens at that. “I love Thursday! They’re like my favorite band! That’s so cool that you like them too. Do you play anything?”
”Huh?” Soyeon feels quite dumb.
Yuqi doesn’t seem deterred. ”Do you play any instruments?”
”Oh! I um. I play some piano, and guitar. A little bit of drums. Not really though. What I really love is singing.”
Yuqi’s eyes widen. “Whoa! That’s sick.” She looks to Miyeon once more. “What’s Jaewon been up to lately? Do we finally have enough people to get something actually put together?”
”Maybe! Soyeon, didn’t you say you have a friend who’s really good at bass?”
Soyeon pauses for a second. “Oh, Taejoon, yes. He’s quite good. A bit older than us, but yeah. Why, are you guys trying to start a band or something?” Soyeon chuckles a bit, the idea sounds somewhat ridiculous even coming out of her mouth.
”Yeah,” Miyeon says, like it’s nothing. “I never told you about this? We’ve been trying to start something for forever. It’s just never really worked out.”
”Yeah,” Yuqi cuts in. “Not to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty good at guitar— my dad started teaching me when I was three. And obviously Jaewon is good at guitar, too. Miyeon’s great at the drums. We’ve had other bass players and singers come in and out but…” Her sentence fades to a bit of an abrupt end.
“How about we all meet up at my house sometime soon to play together?” Miyeon says. “I can talk to Jaewon about it. Soyeon, do you want to reach out to Taejoon and ask if he’s interested?”
Soyeon’s still pretty taken aback by the turn this night has taken. Not that she’s ungrateful for it, it’s just all a bit overwhelming. Music is her dream. She can’t believe she’s finally found people who are trying to do this with her.
“Uhh—yeah! Yeah, I’ll ask him!”
”Sweet,” Yuqi smirks. ”Well, I should probably get back to my friends. Let me know when you guys wanna hang,” she says, half jogging off into the bleachers.
Soyeon finds herself smiling softly as the small girl retreats, though she’s not really sure why.
-
It takes a couple weeks, but eventually they plan a time that works for all of them to meet up at the Cho household.
Soyeon is buzzing with anxiety and anticipation all morning.
Her mom drives her over, clearly able to tell she’s a pure bundle of nerves.
”Are you okay, honey?” she asks.
”Yes. No. I don’t know. I’m just… really nervous.”
A comforting smile is on her mom’s face as she reaches a hand across the console to rest on Soyeon’s leg.
“I get it, but it’s gonna be okay, right? It’s not a big deal. Just a fun hang out. And you get to play some music! Isn’t that fun?”
”Yeah… I’m just scared I’ll mess up. Do badly. Say something stupid. And they’ll kick me out. What if I can’t come up with any good ideas?”
They had briefly discussed the concept of writing some music of their own. Soyeon writes already, though mostly through poetry. She figures poetry and song lyrics are pretty similar, though.
”You will. Even your worst ideas are wonderful, honey. But even if you can’t come up with anything, I’m sure it’s no big deal. Just be yourself. And have fun!”
Soyeon smiles somewhat sadly, looking down at her lap. “Right. Have fun.”
“I believe in you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
She gets out of the car and shuffles towards the door, filled with a gut-churning mixture of dread and excitement.
Thankfully, what follows are several hours of pure joy. They all just… click. Soyeon’s never had this much fun with people her age before.
They start by playing a few random songs that they all know, before settling down and trying to write something.
It goes surprisingly well. Soyeon’s brought along a notebook containing some of her poetry, and Jaewon has some guitar parts he’s been toying with. The two of them are sitting together on the floor, starting to piece something together, when Yuqi walks up.
“Hey, guys. Couldn’t help but overhear.” Soyeon barely catches a light, dejected chuckle under her breath. “I actually have some guitar parts I’ve been working on, too. And I feel like they might fit pretty well into what you’re working on.”
Jaewon speaks first, as Soyeon finds herself staring up at Yuqi’s cute, rounded face—her harsh bangs somehow making her look even younger than she is.
“Oh, sure, yeah. Let’s hear it, dude.”
Yuqi nods subtly to herself, seeming a bit unsure, but glad to be accepted on some level by the older, cooler boy.
She sits down next to the two of them, cross-legged, pulling her guitar into her lap. It’s not even a particularly large guitar, but it still dwarfs her in size.
She frets a chord before saying, “I was thinking this part could fit somewhere into the pre-chorus.”
Soyeon knows Jaewon is good at guitar—the Cho family is very musical—but Yuqi is very much a wildcard to her. That’s part of why she’s so shocked when she hears the graceful, dancing melody Yuqi plucks out.
It’s good—so much more so than Soyeon had expected. It seems almost too advanced for someone of Yuqi’s age, to be writing or playing. She’s impressed, and she doesn’t think she does a good job of hiding it from her face.
Yuqi finishes playing and glances up from her guitar, a light blush dusting her cheeks.
“So, what do you think?”
Soyeon just stares, speechless. Jaewon speaks up.
“Yo, that’s awesome!”
Yuqi beams. “Really?”
Jaewon pours on the praise as Soyeon continues to stare at Yuqi in awed silence. “Yeah, for sure! I think we can definitely fit that into this song somewhere. That’s sick, dude.”
Yuqi’s smile fades a little, probably at the realization that she seems a bit too ecstatic. She takes a moment to breathe. “Okay. Cool!”
Soyeon continues to stare at Yuqi, still captivated by this tiny, dorky, deep-voiced girl, who’s apparently a savant when it comes to playing guitar.
Jaewon is already working on how to incorporate Yuqi’s part into the song, humming it in between what they’ve already got down.
Soyeon is overwhelmed and mesmerized by all of this. She can’t believe she’s found people her age who get music like this. She feels so lucky to have found this small community of music nerds like her, and she’s so excited to see where it goes from here.
Eventually, Jaewon melds everything together, and they alter some of the lyrics and melodies to fit in better with the expanded guitar parts. By the end of the day, they have something that actually sounds like a fairly competent song.
They play through it once as a group, and by the end, everyone’s smiling—a chorus of happy laughter echoing around the room. Soyeon’s out of breath as she looks around, still disbelieving. She feels so grateful to these people, and especially Jaewon, for taking her words and helping her make them into something more.
She hates that she’s attracted to him, but she can’t help herself.
Jaewon doesn’t seem to notice her staring, pulling his phone out of his pocket to glance at the time. “Oh! I’ve gotta go, sorry guys. Let’s plan another practice sometime soon, okay?”
And with that, he’s out the door, guitar still in his head, not even bothering to put it back in its case.
“He seems to be in a hurry,” Soyeon says, testing the waters with a light chuckle.
Miyeon seems to roll her eyes a little—out of character for the normally cheerful, genuine girl. “Yes, well… he’s late to his girlfriend’s house, I believe.”
“Oh!” Of course he has a girlfriend. “I didn’t realize he had a girlfriend!” Soyeon tries to hide her disappointment. She can’t tell if she’s making up the harsh, watchful feeling of Yuqi’s eyes in her direction.
“Mmm,” Miyeon hums. “Her name's Haeun. They’ve been together for a couple of months now. It seems to be getting serious…” She shrugs a little. “It’s strange to see my brother in a relationship, but… he seems happy.”
Soyeon tries her best to smile and continue the conversation as normal.
-
As the months pass, the group continues to play and write together regularly. They’re getting better and better as time goes on—more in sync—learning the ins and outs of how to play together, and how to deal with the struggles of being a young, inexperienced band.
A band.
No one has truly put that name to it yet. They’ve been referring to themselves as a group, and no one has even tried to broach the topic of coming up with a band name. Something about it makes everything feel too real.
And it’s not even that they don’t want it to be real—they very badly do. But calling it a band and giving it a name puts a kind of pressure on everything that none of them think they’re fully ready for. Not quite yet.
It’s one day, during another one of their group sessions, where that changes.
Miyeon, Jaewon, and Taejoon have been having some issues with a few of their songs, so they’re practicing together to help smooth out the kinks.
That leaves Soyeon and Yuqi—a somewhat unusual pair out of the group—alone together. They’re sitting in a small room off the main section of the Cho’s basement, on their own so they’re not bothered by the rest of the group’s practicing.
Despite Soyeon being impressed by Yuqi’s guitar and writing skills, and finding her weirdly endearing, they haven’t spent much time together, especially alone. It seems they don’t fully know how to act around each other, so the atmosphere is a bit awkward at first.
Yuqi is fiddling noncommittally with her guitar, trained fingers dancing over the strings in practiced patterns. Soyeon is staring at her notebook, trying to find some words that inspire her. The din of music interspersed with talking and laughter from the other room is making it all the more awkward.
At some point, Yuqi starts playing a particular pattern of notes that catches Soyeon’s ear. She picks out some lines from her notebook and just starts singing, making up the melody as she goes to flow along with the notes Yuqi’s playing.
It’s imperfect and obviously improvised, but it sounds pretty good. Impressively so. Soyeon can barely believe it, even as she continues to sing along.
It’s astounding how well they’re working together. When Soyeon transitions from verse, to pre-chorus, to chorus, and then back to another verse, Yuqi transitions with her. The flow of it is almost scarily natural.
Soyeon thinks that she and Jaewon are pretty decent at writing together, but this feels like it’s beyond writing; this feels like she and Yuqi just… fit together, perfectly. It feels like they had written these parts together previously and are just practicing playing the song now. It’s incredible.
When Soyeon eventually runs out of words, she slows to a stop, and Yuqi eventually fades out too. They both sit there for a moment in stunned silence, in awe of what just happened.
After a few moments, Yuqi lets out a quiet, “Wow.”
Soyeon feels the same. “That was… really good.” She smiles in Yuqi’s direction, though Yuqi’s still looking down at where her fingers rest against her guitar.
Yuqi smiles too, though she’s still looking down. Her bangs are too grown out—they’re falling into her eyes. She brushes them away slightly and finally looks up. Her eyes are bright, despite their darkness.
“Those lyrics are so cool. You wrote that?”
Soyeon’s smile grows. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”
”That’s awesome.”
”Those guitar parts are so cool, too. You’re really good at writing stuff like that.”
”Thanks…” Soyeon’s not sure if she’s imagining the slight blush on Yuqi’s cheeks or not.
”Do you want to show the rest of the group?” Soyeon asks. It seems like the noise from the other room has died down quite significantly in the past few minutes.
Yuqi seems a bit shy at the idea, but agrees regardless. “Sure, yeah.” She’s still smiling.
They walk back into the other room and start playing the song for the rest of the group, who seem just as stunned as Soyeon and Yuqi were when they were creating it.
More ready for it this time, they work together seamlessly to tighten up the ending of the song so it’s less of a random fade out and more of an intentional stopping point.
When they finish the song for the second time, the rest of the group lets out a few whoops of excitement and some sparse claps.
“Soyeon! Yuqi! That was incredible!” Miyeon gasps.
”Yeah, guys, that was really good,” Jaewon agrees, catching Soyeon’s eye with a grin and reaching out to give her a friendly pat on the shoulder. “That was really great.”
Yuqi, despite seeming proud of the song, looks a bit downtrodden.
”I think this will be really great for the band,” Jaewon continues.
”The band?” Taejoon questions. “Are we actually gonna be a band now?”
Miyeon grins. “Yeah! Let’s be a band!”
Soyeon chuckles. “Okay, yeah, let’s be a band.” It’s the only thing she’s ever wanted in her life.
“Does anyone have any band name ideas?” Jaewon asks, still standing a bit too close to Soyeon.
There’s silence for a few moments as all of them think quietly to themselves.
Finally, Taejoon speaks. “I don’t know… Does anyone’s like… mom have a cool maiden name or something?”
”What?” Jaewon laughs. “A maiden name?”
”I don’t know! I’m just trying to come up with something!” Taejoon deflects.
Silence for another few moments.
”What about… I-DLE?” Soyeon pipes up, quietly.
No one says anything at first, but she notices Yuqi’s head turn ever so slightly in her direction.
”I-DLE?” Miyeon repeats. “Can you elaborate?”
Soyeon doesn’t really know where to begin. “I’m not sure,” she says. “I’ve just always thought the connection between the words ‘idle,’ I-D-L-E, and ‘idol,’ I-D-O-L is really interesting. If we’re gonna be in a band, we’re kind of idols, right? And the double meaning of idol as a famous person and idol as it relates to gods? I don’t know.” She finishes a bit dejectedly.
“I think it’s cool.” It’s the first thing Yuqi’s said in at least 10 minutes.
Jaewon nods, not to be outdone. “Yeah, I do, too. That’s a really cool name, Soyeon.” He’s still smiling at her in a way that makes Soyeon’s stomach flutter.
Soyeon smiles. “Okay, I-DLE it is, then.”
”Now what?” Taejoon says through a stupid grin, bouncing on his feet like he’s getting ready to step into a boxing ring.
”Keep doing what we’re doing,” Jaewon replies. “Practicing, writing, and we need to start playing shows.”
“Yes!” Miyeon practically jumps at the idea. “Our parents know some people at the local venue. Maybe they can help out with getting us booked.”
”That would be really great, Miyeon.” Soyeon smiles fondly.
Taejoon jumps up a bit, throwing his hands in the air. “Hell yeah! Let’s do it!”
They’re all thrilled by the idea of starting to play shows, though at varying levels. Taejoon and Soyeon have already played some shows, with their funk cover band, and Miyeon and Jaewon are used to doing small, private performances at family events and things of that nature.
As Soyeon has learned recently, Yuqi’s family is also fairly musical—her dad works for a small record label and plays many instruments himself. It explains Yuqi’s proficiency and knowledge, though doesn’t explain why Yuqi seems nervous at the thought of playing shows.
She doesn’t say anything though, still sitting with her guitar in her hands, staring down at her fingers.
“Alright, cool,” Jaewon begins. “So we’ll try to get a show booked sometime soon. Until then, let’s keep practicing.”
”Sick!” Taejoon exclaims, picking up his bass and getting ready to play.
They practice a few more songs before calling it quits for the day, promising each other that they’d be playing a show sometime soon. A real show. In front of a real audience.
The thought keeps Soyeon going for the next few weeks.
But as it turns out, it’s harder than they’d imagined to book a show as a group of teenagers with practically zero experience.
Eventually, they end up settling for some kind of open mic night. Or a talent show. Something like that. None of them are too sure about the details, but they’re excited, regardless of how lame it may be.
It goes… well. Soyeon finds it hard to have any kind of outside perspective regarding it all. She’s too close to it—it’s hard to imagine how they might be viewed by someone outside of their circle. But from her perspective, they put on a good show, especially for teenagers who have no idea what they’re doing.
In any case, it gives them the motivation they need to keep going. They continue performing, wherever and whenever they can, slowly gaining momentum. Word is spreading around town about this young, scrappy band who will do anything to get their name out there.
After a couple of months, they finally book a serious show at a somewhat nearby venue, though they have to travel a couple hours to get there.
They practice for it, harder than they’ve ever practiced before. They’re getting together every other day or so to go over the setlist, playing it through in full until they’ve got it down pat. Until they feel ready.
And finally, the show happens. In the grand scheme of things, it’s probably nothing. But to them, it’s everything.
They’re more in sync than they’ve ever been, hitting every note, every beat, every line absolutely perfectly. Or as perfect as they can. They celebrate later that night in the best way that teenagers can—mostly a lot of yelling and dancing.
The night devolves in the way only a teenage party can. They all end up scattered to separate ends of the earth, in the most unexpected ways.
Soyeon is downright flabbergasted when she realizes she’s ended up alone in a dingy motel room with Yuqi. They’ve chosen to stay at some seedy place for the night instead of traveling back home, but Soyeon doesn’t know how she’s ended up here. With Yuqi.
”Do you know where everyone else went?” Soyeon asks fruitlessly.
”No,” Yuqi replies, face neutral. “I honestly have no idea.”
She pauses for a moment.
“Do you want to sleep?” Yuqi asks.
Soyeon looks at the bed. It’s pretty tiny. Definitely not truly big enough for two people to sleep comfortably, despite how small they both are.
Soyeon doesn’t really enjoy physical touch most of the time—she often finds herself dreading the thought of hugging even close family members. And Soyeon is even less eager to be close to people she doesn’t know well.
She and Yuqi have been in a band together for many months now, have known each other for over a year, but Yuqi still very much feels like a stranger to Soyeon in a lot of ways.
And it’s not that she doesn’t want to get to know the girl, it’s just that they don’t really seem to get much time to spend together. One of them is always off with another member of the group— there’s always someone else they’d rather be with.
That sounds pretty bad, even just hearing it in her own head, but her relationship with Yuqi isn’t a one-way street. Miyeon is Yuqi’s best friend; the two are always spending time together, goofing around, making up silly songs and playing games together. Soyeon tends to spend a lot of time with Taejoon—he was her friend first before he was anyone else’s, and a decent amount with Jaewon, when he’s not off with his girlfriend.
Soyeon thinks that if Yuqi wants to spend more time with her, she could. It just doesn’t seem like much of a priority for either of them, at the current point in their lives.
“Soyeon?” Yuqi prompts. Soyeon has no idea how long they’d been standing here.
”Oh! Sorry. Uh, yeah. Sure, I’m pretty tired.”
Yuqi hums in agreement. “Okay. I’m gonna go brush my teeth.”
Now alone in the small room, Soyeon changes her clothes and crawls into the bed, anxious, laying her head on the pillow and pulling the covers up over herself.
Eventually, Yuqi returns after brushing her teeth, clad in a tank top and pajama pants. Soyeon feels like this is all somehow a bit too intimate.
Soyeon’s already regretting her choice of pajamas for this trip—a loose t-shirt and underwear. She hadn’t exactly been planning on spending this night with Yuqi, and this feels extremely inappropriate now. Her cheeks are a bit hot as Yuqi walks up to the bed and pulls at the covers, lifting her lanky limbs into the sheets.
If Yuqi cares about Soyeon’s choice of attire, she doesn’t say anything. But their legs do brush together as Yuqi settles into the small bed, fidgeting for several moments before she seemingly finds a comfortable position.
The silence of the room is overwhelming. Soyeon knows it’s going to take her forever to fall asleep like this, if she’s even able to at all.
After stilling momentarily, Yuqi continues fidgeting slightly every few seconds, and it’s driving Soyeon insane. The occasional brush of her pajama pants against Soyeon’s legs is definitely not helping the situation, either.
It feels like it’s been several hours, though it’s probably only been a few minutes, when Yuqi speaks up.
“Soyeon?”
Soyeon is lying flat on her back, eyes open and staring at the water-stained motel room ceiling. If Yuqi thinks there is any chance she is even partially asleep, or close to getting there, she is sorely mistaken.
“Mmm?” It’s not much of a response, but it’s the most she can muster. It’s late, and most of her energy, social or otherwise, was poured into the show earlier tonight.
Yuqi seems hesitant. “Can I ask you something?”
Oh, God. “Sure.”
Yuqi’s voice is barely a whisper in the darkened room. “So, this is gonna sound weird. But can I—Do you mind if I hold you?”
Soyeon pauses. “What?”
It clearly does nothing to dissuade Yuqi’s building anxiety. “It’s just—at home I always sleep with some kind of stuffed animal. I have a lot of them. And I hold them, and they help me sleep. But I didn’t bring one tonight. I don’t know why. I should have. But I didn’t. And I’m not gonna be able to sleep without one. So. Can I hold you?”
It’s a lot for Soyeon’s tired brain to take in. Too much, honestly.
“Umm—” She pauses again.
After several more moments of silence, Yuqi finally cracks. “Actually, never mind. Forget I said anything. I’ll sleep on the floor.” She moves to get out of the bed, pant legs brushing away from Soyeon as she goes.
“Yuqi, wait!” Soyeon doesn’t know what’s come over her.
Yuqi pauses, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Soyeon sits up a little bit, propping herself up on an elbow. “You can—You can hold me.”
Yuqi looks back at her in the bed and shakes her head ever so slightly. “No, it’s fine Soyeon. I don’t know why I said that. It was stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” Soyeon says quietly.
“No, it is. I’m too old for this kind of thing.” She chuckles softly in a self-deprecating kind of way.
“I mean… I don’t think so. I think liking stuffed animals is still pretty normal at our age.”
Yuqi smiles sadly. “Nah, it’s lame.”
“Yuqi, come on. Let’s just go to sleep.”
Yuqi is still sitting on the edge of the bed, but she’s turned around to look at Soyeon. They stare at each other in silence for a few moments.
Finally, Yuqi sighs. “Okay, fine.” She begins to turn back towards Soyeon. “But please don’t tell anyone about this… Please?”
“Of course.”
At that, Yuqi exhales for the first time in what seems like minutes, and fully turns to climb back under the covers.
Soyeon rotates onto her side, waiting for Yuqi to move in behind her. It takes several moments, but eventually she feels the warmth of Yuqi’s body radiating on her back. Yuqi’s not touching her yet, though.
Soyeon waits. The room is still so silent.
She’s about to give up and turn back around when she finally feels a tentative hand reach out to rest ever so lightly on her hip. Thankfully, it’s on top of the sheets—Soyeon thinks Yuqi might never have reached out if she had had to touch the bare skin near her underwear.
After a few moments, the fingers of Yuqi’s hand dig a little harder into Soyeon’s hip as she pulls herself closer to Soyeon, heat still radiating off of her in waves.
Yuqi’s close now, within an inch or two of Soyeon’s back, but she seems very stiff in a way Soyeon’s sure is not comfortable.
Taking pity on her, Soyeon sighs, carefully grabbing Yuqi’s hand from her hip and guiding it around to her front, so Yuqi’s arm is wrapped around her stomach. At the same time, she pushes back towards Yuqi’s front, so their bodies are pressed together.
Though Soyeon can’t see her face, she can feel Yuqi’s shock at this. She seems to freeze for several moments, adjusting to the new sensation of all the places her body is now touching Soyeon’s. Eventually, she seems to melt into it, exhaling deeply as her body relaxes and her arm wraps more tightly around Soyeon’s waist.
“Thank you,” she breathes.
“No big deal,” Soyeon says. Though she can’t help but think it kind of is.
“Goodnight, Soyeon,” Yuqi says, breath ghosting over the bare skin at the back of Soyeon’s neck.
“Goodnight, Yuqi.”
Soyeon’s not sure how long she stays awake after that, but she can tell Yuqi falls asleep almost immediately. She can feel the soft puffs of Yuqi’s breath against her, anxiety laying dormant as her brain finally rests.
Eventually, Soyeon falls asleep, too. Though she isn’t normally a fan of being touched or held, she has to admit there is something comforting about the feeling of Yuqi against her. Maybe it’s partly because the stress of the show wore her down, but she finds that the feeling of the warm, soft body pressing into her is tugging at her brain in a way she’s never really felt before.
When they awake the next morning, it’s to the harsh sound of someone banging on their motel room door.
“Soyeon?! Are you in there? Is Yuqi with you?!” Jaewon’s voice carries loudly through the thin walls.
Soyeon’s startled to realize Yuqi is still wrapped around her. They had seemingly barely moved in the night. She wipes the sleep from her eyes and attempts to gain her bearings.
“Yeah!” she tries to yell back. “Yes, we’re in here.”
At the sound of the loud voice next to her, Yuqi seems to come to her senses, pulling her arm away from Soyeon and moving so their bodies are no longer touching. Soyeon instantly misses the warmth.
“Okay, well, hurry up and get out here. We’ve gotta leave!” Jaewon yells again.
“Okay!” Soyeon yells back. She turns onto her back in the bed. Yuqi is already sitting on the edge of the bed, gathering her things.
Soyeon doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know if she should say anything. But Yuqi already seems intent on pretending like nothing happened last night, so Soyeon will do the same.
She supposes nothing really did happen. They’re just friends who slept in the same bed. It’s not a big deal. It’s not like they did anything. And they’re both girls. There’s nothing romantic about it, anyway.
Yuqi vanishes into the bathroom, and Soyeon takes the opportunity to change into clean clothes, brushing her hair and trying to make herself presentable as quickly as possible. She takes a moment to unlock the door and let Jaewon in.
“What happened last night?” he asks upon seeing her.
“What do you mean?”
“Where’d you go?” he asks, somewhat accusatory.
Soyeon’s eyebrows furrow. “Here?”
Jaewon laughs. “Yeah, but before that.”
Soyeon’s annoyed now. “I didn’t go anywhere. After the party died down I came here. Where were you?”
“In the other room? Where could I have possibly gone?”
“I don’t know! You’re the one who seems to be accusing me of something!” Soyeon throws her hands into the air in anger.
It’s at this moment that Yuqi emerges from the bathroom, looking a bit guilty. They both glance at her as she walks out, the tone of the room instantly becoming awkward.
Jaewon seems to soften. Whether it’s from actual regret, or his own guilt that Yuqi had to witness this, Soyeon’s unsure.
“Whatever. Never mind. It doesn’t matter. Are you ready to go?” he relents.
Soyeon is just thankful the interrogation is over. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Yuqi is still paused awkwardly by the bathroom door. Jaewon walks out of the room quickly, marching towards the car like he’s on a mission.
Soyeon looks at Yuqi, sheepish. “You okay?”
Yuqi smiles, a bit awkward still. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She shuffles back and forth on her feet.
Soyeon grins. “Okay, let’s get you back home to your stuffed animals.”
“Hey!” It’s the loudest Yuqi’s been since the party. She shoves Soyeon lightly in the shoulder.
“Sorry, couldn’t resist.”
Soyeon’s glad to see Yuqi’s still smiling, chuckling a little as they pick up their bags and follow in the direction Jaewon hurried off.