Archive of Our Own ^beta

A single boy stood by himself, leaning his back against the wall, both of his palms were pressed to the mural behind him. The solitude of the town was reflected by the utter silence of everything, save for the bubbling noise from the large fountain that was close by.

It was overwhelming, being so far from home. He hadn't really had time to process his own emotions, what with preserving the fragments that had once been his companions. He had ignored his feelings and thrown himself into restoring all of them. All of the people he had barely managed to save.

His eyes were closed and his head was tilted upward, pointed somewhere between the buildings and the sky. More than ever, he was grateful that the Nightmares didn't even seem to see him. It was a nice break compared to the monsters of Shibuya, which were attracted to negativity. By now, he probably would have gotten tired of erasing the Noise that would have inevitably been attracted to him.

And he would die before he let any of those monsters see him in this moment of emotional weakness.

Joshua giggled quietly to himself. "That'd be something that you would say, huh, Sanae? I can almost hear that terrible joke. …It's as if you're standing right next to me."

Unintentionally, Joshua's hand went to his pocket and he retrieved his cell phone. He flipped it open thoughtlessly and felt a bitter disappointment when he saw that he still didn't have any new messages. Swallowing, he returned the phone to his pocket as his heart dropped in his chest. Had he really expected a response, though?

Instead, he continued talking to the mural, as if it would somehow transfer exactly what he was saying to Sanae directly.

"What am I going to do without you? I do, in fact, know that I can get along without your constant assistance, but… I don't remember a time that I was truly without you. You were always there with your grin and your horrible-tasting, yet absolutely addicting coffee, and your… support."

Another sigh was drawn from Joshua's lips as he opened his eyes and looked up at the stars. Somewhere out there was an angelic barista, still obsessing over his beans.

The thought brought a bittersweet smile to Joshua's face, and he couldn't help but check his phone again.

"Still no Sanae…" Joshua murmured. "Why do I insist on checking my phone? You're not going to answer."

Rather than return his phone to his pocket, he hit his speed dial and raised the phone to his ear. After an eternity of ringing, he heard a familiar voice speaking on the other line.

"Sanae Hanekoma here. If I'm not answering, I'm probably busy serving up the best coffee in Shibuya or cleaning up after Joshua! If it's an emergency, leave a message after the beep."

Joshua silently closed the phone after that, he'd already left plenty of other messages for the barista to listen to when he could. 

At first, Joshua had just assumed that Sanae would come and get them all after the Game was over. But, when he hadn't, Joshua had guessed that he was busy with something in the Higher Plane—or more likely, on the run from it.

Had they caught up with his Producer? Would he return to Shibuya to find that they had hired some sort of replacement for him?

No.

Joshua wouldn't allow that.

Sanae had always been his Producer, that's how it had always been, and that's how it would always be.

"Where are you…?" Joshua said, returning his phone to his pocket once more.

"I'm right here, man," said a familiar voice from above.

Joshua let out a startled gasp as he spun around and took a few steps back. He looked up to see Beat rubbing his eye and in the middle of a yawn.

"Where you there the whole time…?" Joshua asked, quickly raising his emotional mask back up.

"Yup," muttered Beat as he blinked down at Joshua, gripping the railing that bordered the top of the mural.

"Were you spying on me?" Joshua frowned at Beat, wondering how he'd missed his presence. However, that only lasted a second before he forced his signature condescending smirk onto his face. If Beat wanted to play hard ball, then hardball he would play.

"No way. I was sleepin', yo. 'Sides, you ain't interestin' enough to spy on," Beat replied and hopped over the fence, landing next to him. He seemed to be missing his signature beanie and he couldn't help but wonder if Beat had left it up there on the wall. He wouldn't say anything, however. It was none of his concern if Beat left something laying around.

"Why were you sleeping… up there? Did you forget the way back to the Hotel or something?" Joshua sniped. So he wasn't as alone as he'd thought. At least Beat had been asleep and hadn't heard anything else he was saying. Or, Joshua hoped that he hadn't. He had his image to uphold, after all.

"A' course not!" Beat looked shocked at the proposal. "I was fightin' some of the Dream Eaters and got tired. So I jus' sat down and took a nap."

"In the middle of the Fountain Plaza? Julius is usually around here, Beat," Joshua frowned again and crossed his arms. Honestly, what did this boy think he was doing? No wonder his sister was so worried about him all the time.

"Eh, whatever," Beat said, "Ain't nobody around to tell me I can't. 'Sides, we haven't seen Julius since Sora and Riku was here. I dunno what they did, but Julius hasn't shown his face since."

"Better safe than sorry, Beat. I might have to tell Rhyme about this little… escapade of yours. I wonder what she would say," Joshua teased, reaching up to delicately twirl a strand of his hair.

"Bwaahh! Don't do that!" Beat shouted, getting into that all-too familiar recoil stance.

"And why shouldn't I…?" Joshua smirked, feeling a little better now that he was in control of the situation again.

Beat frowned at him. "Just… don't…!" he warned.

"Or what?" Joshua asked, dragging out the 'or' part, "Are you going to punch me, Beat? They say an outfit can speak a thousand words about the person who wears it, you know. Perhaps that punk outfit you've donned reflects that part of yourself? You've certainly got that hopeless loser look down pat, there's a stand-up job."

At that, Beat's look flashed from mildly sleepy to full on hurt. He didn't say anything, just stared at the Composer.

Seeing that look on Beat's face, the one that looked like betrayal… Joshua immediately wanted to take back what he had said. But he didn't say anything either. Perhaps now Beat would learn to leave him alone...

"The hell?!" Beat finally said—or shouted—and his expression changed to anger.

"Just stating the truth, dear," Joshua replied.

At that, Beat's eyes narrowed. "You know what? Screw this. I don't gotta take this from you." And with that, Beat spun around and started stomping off, kicking one of the boxes that was lying nearby on his way out.

And Joshua just stood there in silence, watching Beat's retreating form. He sighed quietly to himself and leaned back against the wall, finally alone, completely and utterly alone.

Just like he'd wanted.

Joshua stared up at the stars for a good long while, a frown seemingly fixed permanently on his face. Perhaps what he had said to Beat was unnecessary.

No, of course it was, but that hadn't stopped him from saying it, now had it? But, it was a good thing that he had driven Beat away. 

Because, in the end, Joshua was always just going to end up by himself, anyway. In a way, it was for the best. That was why he'd hadn't agreed to meet Neku back in Shibuya. Back when Neku had offered a few days ago during that mission with the Spellican Nightmare. He was the Composer after all.

He'd chosen to become the Composer; had written his own fate with his two hands with a smile and a gun. It was the fate of the Composer to be alone, after all. To be the singular, unbiased judge of humanities vices and virtues. To sit alone on his throne and compose the song of Shibuya with his own two hands.

Composers didn't have friends. They didn't have companions. They had guardians who watched over them, certainly. They had underlings that served out their will, of course. But...the dead didn't have friends.

Anything that happened here was only temporary. There was no need to get attached to any of the people here. 

Joshua closed his eyes again and took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, listening to the bubbling fountain and the eerie silence of the town that was nothing like Shibuya. After a few seconds, he allowed himself to slide down the wall until his rear was on the ground. He tilted his head back and opened his eyes to star gaze. The twinkling lights might have been reassuring to anyone else, but not him.

They were just another reminder of how foreign this place was.

It was a half hour later when he heard footsteps approaching. Joshua looked sharply and was surprised to see Beat again. He looked a little uncertain when Joshua's eyes met his, but that uncertainty faded to determination.

"So, what is the ruffian doing back?" Joshua asked lightly; although he was giving Beat a calculating look.

"Listen, I know you waitin' for the coffee man—" Beat started.

"So you were spying on me," Joshua interrupted Beat before he could say anything else. How much had he heard?! Joshua quickly pushed himself back to his feet and glared at Beat. 

"No, tha's what Rhyme said you was doin'. Why the hell are you mopin' around if you're waitin' for 'im?" Beat asked. "You really want Mr. H to come back an' see you actin' like Phones?"

"Acting like Neku, you say…" Joshua pondered, frowning to himself. Had he truly been acting like…

Sitting alone by himself, consumed with nihilistic thoughts about his own fate, wanting to be left alone to his misery, making others feel bad...

Oh dear, he had, hadn't he?

Beat stood there and watched for a few moments as Joshua mentally berated himself for actually going emo on everyone. This certainly wasn't what Neku and his friends needed! They needed him to be strong for them! Joshua was the last connection they had to Shibuya and he had to get this right. How could he expect to take them all home when he couldn't even control himself enough to—

Joshua's thoughts were promptly interrupted when Beat reached out and pulled him into a one-armed hug.

"Forgiven already? That was… rather fast," Joshua said, bewildered by the sudden affection.

"Jus' can it, you ain't foolin' nobody, y'know? Least of all me," Beat muttered and let go of Joshua quickly, looking away and scratching his head. "'Sides, you looked like some kinda kicked puppy. All sad an' mopey. It was drivin' me crazy, yo."

"Fooling you? About what?" Joshua asked, making the executive decision to completely ignore the puppy comment.

"'Bout…" Beat trailed off, obviously trying to think about what he wanted to say, "'bout how scared you are."

"Scared…?" Joshua raised his eyebrows, taken aback by the accusation.

"Yeah. You just as lost as we are, ain'tcha? I mean, you don' even know how much longer we gonna be here. I know that I ain't smart or nothin', but I know that everyone's scared a' what's happenin'." Beat looked straight into Joshua's eyes as he said this.

"Including you…?" Joshua pointed out, attempting to redirect the spotlight onto Beat. This wasn't at all how he'd imagined a one-on-one with Beat going!

"'Cept me. Men like me don't get scared. I know tha' you brought us here to save us 'n shit, but… uh…" Beat frowned to himself, searching for what he was going to say again. "But nobody's 'round to save you. Tha's what's happenin'. Yeah, you the Composer 'n all, but a man's gotta know his limits… or somethin' like that."

"Beat… that doesn't…" Joshua sighed, "I know my limits, Beat."

"Good, then you should know your limits for bein' emo. Now, come on, I wanna race you through that place with all the rails to grind," Beat offered Joshua a wide grin.

"The… Post Office?" Joshua asked, raising an eyebrow again.

"Uh… yeah, that," Beat replied and nudged Joshua on the shoulder. "Come on, let's go!"

"And, if I stayed here and continued being, as you stated 'emo?'" Joshua said in an almost playful tone. Because, really, what would Beat be able to do against a near-omniscient being such as himself? 

"Do that an' I'm gonna drag you outta tha' corner t' have fun, whether you want it or not."

Joshua, putting on a completely straight face, turned around and walked into the nearest corner. For added effect, he sat down and brought his knees to his chest, curling up. There, the perfect picturesque image of a stereotypical emo. All that he was missing were the purple faded background and anime swirls, if he did say so himself.

Beat just stared at Joshua for a few seconds. "I'm serious, yo. Don' make me make you have fun."

"Come on and try," Joshua challenged, smirking to himself now.

"'A'ight," Beat said. He walked over and picked up Joshua and tossed him over his shoulder before he started walking toward the Post Office.

"Beat! What are you doing?!" Joshua yelped in alarm, clinging to Beat's shirt.

"I said I would drag you outta it."

"You said 'drag,' not 'manhandle!'" Joshua replied, resisting every urge he had to flail like a helpless schoolgirl.

"Same thing."

"No, it's not," Joshua objected.

"You just don' wanna race me 'cause you know you gonna lose," Beat said in a challenging tone.

Oh?

"Are you so sure about that…?" Joshua retorted, in an almost playful voice. It was one thing to have something offered to him, but a challenge was something else entirely.

"Yup. Tha's why you don' wanna race me."

"Hmph. As you would say: bring it on."

"Dude, you all ready lost."