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Levi fluffs up the pillow, lays his head on it, spends a few moments adjusting the blanket so it covers all of him, then gets on his left side, turns off the lights, closes his eyes and starts counting in his head.
One, two, three, when he gets to four - he hears a knocking on his bedroom door. The knocking starts off soft, easy to ignore, and so Levi does just that, continuing his counting. He gets to seven, and the quiet knocking turns into thunderous banging.
He grits his teeth and turns on the other side, wrapping a blanket around his head. The knocking stops then, just as abruptly as it began, and the door to his bedroom opens with a loud, screeching sound. Knowing that no one's actually standing on the threshold, Levi doesn't bother looking.
The door slams closed with enough force to reverberate throughout the room. Levi rolls his eyes. Someone is annoyingly dramatic tonight.
And, of course, the nightly terror doesn't stop at just abusing his bedroom door.
Next, the book flies out of its shelf, landing dangerously close to Levi's head. More than expecting something like that, he doesn't even flinch. He continues counting. He gets to twenty-seven, when his bedside table starts to shake and his patience snaps. He jumps out of the bed, grabs his phone and types a message to Erwin.
I'm done. Give me the number of your goddamned ghostbuster
Levi stares at the screen, waiting. He knows that Erwin is probably already fast asleep, he doesn't actually expect him to answer right away, but what else is he to do? He has another very long and definitely sleepless night ahead of him.
He sighs and gets out of the bed. It seems like a perfect opportunity for dusting the whole house has arisen.
He's been doing exactly that for three nights in row.
There are a number of things you'll change your opinion on if you ever find out that your house is haunted by a wicked, vengeful spirit.
One of Levi's first epiphanies was about sleep, and its importance for general wellbeing. If before his, well, predicament, sleep was an easily skippable obligation for him, now, a full night spent in bed - warm, cozy and without any invisible assholes grabbing his ankles feels like a dream.
Sadly, a completely unattainable one.
What he also misses is the simple pleasure of seeing his own reflection - Levi is in no way a vain man, but ever since he got himself a poltergeist as a roommate, he has to cover all the mirrors, or risk finding a dozen finger-made drawings, each more vulgar than the previous one.
What's more - he can't watch TV at all now without the channel changing to some awful talk show, or on a few very memorable occasion - porn.
Long gone are lazy weekends spent binging a new series with a tray of his comfort food by his side, now, if there's something worth catching up on, Levi resorts to watching it on subway on his way to work.
And the last but not the least important change: Levi lost all his previously harbored - and well deserved in his past self opinion - skepticism towards psychics, mediums or whatever their bunch prefers to call themselves.
The first time Erwin had offered help from his friend, Levi dismissed it with a huff, claiming he was not that desperate.
Well. He kinda is now. Another sleepless night and he's pretty sure he's going to go mad.
Kinda.
So, when he gets the text message from Erwin, he dials the sent number without hesitation. Thankfully, the call is picked before he loses all of his resolve, after only a few beeps.
On the other side of the line, a low and slightly exasperated voice greets him. "Good morning, you've reached Investigative Society of Paranormal Activities. No, we do not assist in throwing thematic parties, and, no, we cannot let you borrow any kind of cursed objects. But if you have an actual problem, please state its nature and we'll take care of it."
Perhaps, the cause of it is his insomnia, but for a few moments Levi is stunned into silence. Did the guy just say society? As in, there is more than one weirdo involved? And what was it about cursed objects? And thematic parties?
Levi shakes his head - now is not the time - and, gripping the phone, finally finds his voice. "I... I think that my house is... well... haunted? A poltergeist or whatever you guys call it."
"Oh!" instantly, the man's tone changes, losing all of its sharp edges. "Apologies, sir! I'll connect you with Professor Hange right away!"
Professor? Levi fights the urge to scoff. Desperate or not, these people are ridiculous. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a better alternative.
So, Levi swallows the sarcastic words that are clawing their way out of his throat and patiently listens to the sounds on the other side of the phone line. He hears quiet rustling of the clothes, a rather loud 'Hange, a client!', a sharp and annoyed bark of 'not now, Moblit', then some mumbling that is followed by a deep, exhausted sigh, and finally,
"Hange from Investigative Society of Paranormal Activities. If it's another prank or an invitation to Halloween party, then I swear I'll use all of my psychic abilities to find you and beat your ass."
And Levi tried, god knows he tried. But ultimately failed.
"Will you beat my ass with your powers or use the old-fashioned way?"
There is a beat of silence, then Levi thinks he can hear a mumbled curse, and even though he doesn't know that Hange, has never seen them, he's almost hundred percent sure that they're rolling their eyes.
"Another comedian, great. If that's all, I have more important stuff to do."
Levi curses himself and hurries to exclaim, before Hange disconnects. "No, wait! I'm sorry, it was a bad joke, I— I couldn't resist. But I actually need your help, please listen."
For a moments, Hange is silent. Levi readies to apologize once more, but then, "You have thirty seconds."
Thirty seconds, great. If he's lucky, and Erwin wasn't wrong about this Hange, he won't need more than that.
"It's my house. It's haunted, and it's really pissing me off, and, well, I've been told that you can help me with that."
"You've been told? By who?"
"Erwin?"
"Oh! Erwin!" Hange's voice does a complete one eighty, and where before it was terse and angry, now it starts to fill with warmth. And nearly giddy enthusiasm. "You are a real deal then. Alright, what are working with? When did the entity appear? How does it manifest? Did you recently move in or is it the entity that appeared suddenly? Do you know anything about the history of the house, its occupants, time and causes of their deaths? Oh, and what's your name?"
Levi honestly doesn't know where to begin or which out of dozen questions to answer, but Hange sounds genuinely excited, clearly passionate and very protective of their line of work, so, mindful of his previous mistake, he tries to remain respectful about this whole - utterly bizarre - ordeal.
"Name's Levi," he starts with the easiest question. "And the... entity appeared shortly after I moved in? It used to be just random knocks and sounds at first, but lately he's been fucking insufferable. I can't get a single night of undisturbed sleep."
"Wait... he?"
"Yes," Levi grates in between his teeth. "He. My uncle."
"Your... uncle? So, is he...?"
"Yes. He left the house to me, and I moved just after..." Levi waves his hand around before remembering that, right, Hange can't actually see him. So, he adds. "Well, you know."
"I'm sorry to hear that..."
Levi snorts. "Don't be. For all the shit he put me through after his death, I probably should kill the bastard a second time."
"I'll do my best to help you with that!" Hange exclaims, evidently back to their cheerful mood. Levi tries very hard not to find their eagerness endearing. "Of course, I have to take a look at your house first, and then—"
"Oh? You don't do online exorcism?"
"Very funny," Hange deadpans. "Just text me your address, we'll be there shortly."
Knowing better than to argue or offer another quip, Levi thanks Hange and ends the call before he manages to piss them off again.
He sends his address, to which Hange immediately replies with the thumbs up emoji, then puts his phone away, heading towards the kitchen. He has no idea what will happen in the next few hours, but what he's sure of - it's going to be a very long day. Hopefully, he'll be able to peacefully fall asleep at the end of it.
Truthfully, Levi doesn't know what to expect of Hange. How do paranormal investigators even look like? Should he prepare himself for a lunatic in a robe? Will a big and bizarre hat be involved? Does he need to start worrying what his neighbors are going to think? Perhaps, it'd be much more beneficial for his sanity and reputation to just forget about this mess and start looking for a new place?
Levi dismisses the last thought immediately. He won't give up, not after so many nights he spent without so much as a wink of sleep. He won't lose to Kenny so easily. He won't give him the satisfaction of besting him.
And if he has to suffer through the antics of some weirdo, then so be it. He has dealt with worse.
To his surprise, however, when out of his living room window he sees Hange pull up to his house, they do not do that in a clown car or something equally ridiculous, but in a simple blue sedan. And when they come out of the car, there is no giant hat in sight. Instead, Hange is dressed fairly ordinarily, in jeans and shirt that perhaps is a bit too bright in color, but completely normal otherwise.
And, what Levi also can't help but notice for some reason - they are really, really attractive. Tall and lean, with a mop of messy brown hair and a pair of dark rimmed glasses on their face, they look... good.
Levi swallows and shakes his head, willing his heart to stop its sudden dance inside his ribcage. Certainly, the countless sleepless nights are to blame for such reaction. Evidently, Kenny's antics already have an impact on his psyche. And that's all the more reason to get on with ending his reign of terror.
Levi opens the front door just as Hange rises their hand to knock. They blink, stare at him for a few moments, then their lips widen into a grin that is as sincere as it is warm.
"Heya, you must be Levi! I'm Hange, we just spoke with you on the phone," they grab his hand, shaking it energetically, all the while a smile never leaves their mouth. "Nice to meet you! Can we come in?"
It takes Levi an embarrassingly long time to respond. He blames it on exhaustion, of course, but he also cannot help but notice that Hange's grip is surprisingly strong, their hand - calloused but warm, and their eyes up close are really, really pretty. And it's a testament of how out of it he really is because another few seconds pass, and only then it occurs to Levi that Hange just said 'we'.
He looks over their shoulder and only now sees another person standing on his porch. A man, who is dressed slightly more casually than Hange, catches Levi's gaze and gives a knowing, amused look.
"I'm Moblit," he says with a smile that could have been friendly, if it wasn't so damn cheeky. Levi immediately decides that he does not like that Moblit much.
He clears his throat and takes a step back from Hange, hiding his eyes from their friend.
"Of course," he says, and prays that his voice comes out as nonchalant as he intends it to. "Be my guests."
Levi leads them further into the house, acutely aware that he has no idea what he's doing and trying not to showing it.
"So... do you want some tea or—"
"Coffee would be great," Hange throws over their shoulder, studying the covered mirror on the wall with more intensity that it probably deserves. "What is the most active part of the house?"
"Um... active as in?.."
"In terms of paranormal phenomena," Moblit supplies.
"Oh," Levi allows himself a moment to ponder. "That would be the bedroom, I suppose."
"Great!" Hange gives him the thumbs up, then scurries upstairs, dragging along Moblit by the end of his sleeve.
Levi watches both of them go with a mix of disturbance and incomprehension. Where does Erwin find these kinds of people?
Eh, strange attracts stranger, he muses as he starts to prepare the promised coffee. Once it's finished, Levi grabs two steaming cups and makes his way to the second floor, joining Hange and Moblit in the bedroom.
The work has definitely started - Hange is knocking on his walls and muttering something nearly ineligible that Moblit dutifully writes down in his notebook. Whatever is it that they're attempting to do - Levi doesn't care. He's too exhausted to be weirded out by them.
He puts the cups on the wardrobe and leans his hip against it, observing the quiet chaos and lazily wondering just how far it will go.
"Any luck with the ghostbusting?"
"Levi!" Hange spins around to face him, clapping their hands. "There you are! We were just wondering - did your uncle die in the house?"
"The stubborn ass didn't want to go to the hospital, so, yeah. Why do you ask, though?"
"Eh, just a little bet I had with Moblit," Hange replies, waving a small, strange looking device. They point it at Moblit's chest, grinning with satisfaction. "Told you the residuals don't lie."
The... residuals? What the— no. Levi doesn't care. Wants nothing more than not to know. Whatever residuals Kenny left after himself, Levi doesn't need to know about it. His main goal, after all, is to reclaim his peaceful sleep.
He moves closer to Moblit and Hange, thrusting the cups of coffee into their hands, then lifts his chin, giving the wall they've been studying so intently a long, critical look.
"So, what's the plan?" he asks. "Are those residuals all you needed to find?"
"No, far from it, unfortunately," Hange replies. They take one sip of coffee and put it down, starting to pace around the room. "We need to set some equipment as well. Nothing too intrusive in regards of your privacy, don't worry - just some motion sensors, EMF meter, oh, and we totally should bring a spirit box."
Levi doesn't like the sound of it at all, but still, he asks, "Spirit box?"
"Yes!" Hange briefly stops their pacing to flash him an excited smile. "To communicate with your uncle! If that works out, we can bring voice EVP recorder too."
"Communicate with him?" Levi frowns. "Aren't you supposed to just... get rid of him?"
"We might not need to. In, like, seventy percent of haunting, the benign spirit remains on our side because of some unfinished business. If we can find out what it is, help him resolve it, he'll leave the house out of his own volition. Any idea what your uncle might be trying to achieve?"
Levi thinks about it, tries to imagine what the hell Kenny would want so much, he decided to stuck around after his death in hopes of getting it. But… he comes up short. The Kenny he knew was a vicious bastard, who was nearly always drunk or, at least, tipsy, and cared for nothing, except living his life in the most comfortable conditions. So, what could he possibly desire when he’s no longer amongst the living?
“Perhaps, he had some regrets?” Hange adds, when Levi’s silence stretches for too long. “It’s a strong enough emotion to tether person to this world, you know.”
Levi doesn’t doubt it, but as for Kenny, he isn’t sure that he was even capable of experiencing something so strong. After all, regret implies that you cared for something enough to mourn it after it is gone. And, either he doesn’t know his uncle as well as he thought he did, which is more than probable – Kenny was one shady asshole and it is him, who nurtured Levi’s own distant tendencies. Or there is another option, one Levi believes a lot more – Hange doesn’t really know what they’re talking about.
But telling that to their face would probably be rude. And definitely would destroy all his chances at clearing his house of a nuisance that is Kenny.
So, Levi bites his tongue, and in answer to Hange’s theories, says only what he definitely knows to be true, “If he had any unfinished business or regrets, it certainly has nothing to do with the house. And that’s what he’s haunting, no?”
“Hm…” Hange puts a finger to their lips, pursing them a little as they lock eyes with Levi. They stare at him for a moment long enough that he starts feeling uncomfortable, fighting with the urge not to squirm under the weight of their gaze. But just as it starts to become unbearable, the pensive expression vanishes from Hange’s face, and a bright grin takes its place instead. “That does complicate things. But worry not, my friend!” they amicably clasp his shoulder. “We’ll get to the bottom of it in no time!”
Levi hides his trepidation by letting out a long, exasperated sigh.
And before he knows it, the chaos at his house starts gaining momentum. One moment Levi watches Hange and Moblit place some weird gadgets he doesn’t care to learn the name of around his bedroom, next – the sun is already set and he shakes Moblit’s hand before the man gets into the car and leaves, explaining that he’d love to stay the night, but he has a cat that needs feeding and a shift next morning.
And with nothing else to do but wait for Kenny to reveal himself, Levi decides to be a little less of a shitty host and leads Hange to the kitchen, pouring both of them a generous portion of the mushroom soup.
“Looks yummy!” Hange says right before they start stuffing their face with the food. “Oh, and it tastes delicious too!”
Levi ducks his head, a bit embarrassed. The dish is nothing fancy, and is not even freshly cooked – it’s leftovers from his yesterday’s dinner.
For a while, there is no other sound in the kitchen rather than the clicking of utensils, and, honestly, Levi is more than fine with that, his social battery must be already at its limit, but when Hange looks up from their plate, Levi follows suit, showing that he’ll listen to whatever they want to say.
"Moblit works at the local vet clinic,” Hange says, explaining why their friend left so abruptly, and before Levi can ask how – or why – someone would get themselves into something as ridiculous as Investigative Society of Paranormal Activities if they have a perfectly ordinary and respectful job, they add, “I’ve met him during one of my first cases. His little sister wanted nothing more than to play with her brother for a little longer.”
“Did she…”
“Yeah,” Hange gives him a woeful smile. “Poor kid was too young to even understand why her brother starts crying whenever she calls out to him. I had to reach out and convince her there are so much more friends she can befriend and play with now.”
“And… how did it go?”
“Good enough, considering the circumstances.”
"Oh, that's..." Levi doesn't really know what to say, how to react to what Hange just said. What they just said is nothing short of devastating. To find yourself in that kind of situation and find a way to make it better is... a feat that can only be described as admirable. Levi wishes he knew the words to communicate that to Hange.
But he was raised by an emotionally stunted man, who is now haunting him for some unknown reason, so the best Levi can do is, "That's tough."
"It's not always sunshine and rainbows," Hange agrees, their voice soft and eyes, when they lock with Levi's, even softer. "But that's how I met the most wonderful people. Moblit, Erwin and now you..."
Levi swallows the needy and pathetic 'what about me?', and, just to be completely safe, lowers his eyes, swirling the half-cold soup around the plate.
And to make absolutely sure that Hange has no opportunity to embarrass him further, he redirects the attention solely on them.
"And what about you? How did one becomes... you know," he waves the hand that's not holding the spoon, searching for the least offensive term, but unfortunately— comes up short, "what you are."
"And what am I?" Hange asks, their grin sly and eyes crinkling from mischief.
That should not look as attractive as it does, Levi thinks.
Just then he notices - and not because he was looking at their lips - a bit of food sticking to the corner of their mouth. Scowling in disgust - did he really think of them as attractive just moments ago - he chucks a handkerchief at them, hitting the side of their jaw. In the face of his more than slightly rough treatment, Hange only chuckles, dutifully dabbing their mouth.
And then they fall silent, starring at Levi expectantly.
And then Levi realizes they're actually waiting for his answer.
Levi curses them and the wild circumstances he found himself in and prepares for another round of humiliation.
"You know," he begins, already cringing internally. "A psychic... or an exorcist... or a..."
"Ghostbuster?"
"Paranormal investigator." Levi says, and, somehow, doesn't even die from the embarrassment. "So, what's your story, four-eyes?"
Hange's brows shot up. "Four-eyes? I like that. But to answer your question... it's a long story."
Levi gestures around the table, and the house in general. "Until Kenny starts stirring shit up, we are not exactly busy."
"Well," Hange fixes the glasses on their face, "It wasn't my childhood dream or anything, but after my grandma died, mom was practically inconsolable. They used to fight all the time, and mom was super guilty about that, so I tried to help. And teenage me didn't think of anything better than, you know, find a way for mom to have that last conversation. So, I searched online, read whatever I could, anything that had at least a modicum of scientific value, then watched some videos on YouTube, how to make a spirit box out of spare junk and what not."
"A completely normal teenager activity," Levi notes dryly.
"Not sure I could be called normal even when I was a teenager," Hange retorts with a chuckle, "but, yeah, I managed to scrape something remotely working, brought mom to the hospital."
"Hospital? How did you know you needed to go to the hospital?"
"Oh, I didn't. First, I took my mom to the cemetery, then - to grandma's house, and only then, as a last resort, really, I thought of the hospital. Had to charm those ladies at the reception desk like crazy, but they did allow me fifteen minutes in the ward where grandma died. To be completely honest," Hange admits with a sheepish smile, "I didn't actually believe it would work. I mostly did it to soothe mom, but when we walked into that ward, my EMF meter became active. And as soon as my mom started talking, it had gone crazy. I thought it was some kind of malfunction at first, I constructed it by myself with spare parts I found around the house, after all, but after mom was finished, it... went silent. It had to mean something, you know?"
Levi nods, but whether Hange actually notices it is unclear. Their gaze is trained on some obscure point on the ceiling and on their lips plays a wide, excited smile.
Levi decides not to pull them out of their world, just listens to their story, surprisingly compelled by it.
"It got me thinking about, well, a lot, and so I started digging further, anything I could find - from scientific studies to occult journals. I found more opportunities at university, and, although securing funding for my research was a bit tricky, I did manage to finish my thesis. I even successfully defended it!"
"Wait..." his first interaction with Moblit flashes in Levi's mind. Back then he thought it was a goofy nickname, but now... "So, you're actually a professor?"
"Hard to believe, right?" Hange says, their voice light, without even a hint of malice. "Most of my professors couldn't believe it either. But academic life never suited me anyway, so as soon as I graduated, I started doing, well, this."
Finding himself actually invested, Levi leans in closer. "And you enjoy it?"
There is no hesitation - in Hange's answer or the tone of it. "Of course, I do! Unfortunately, it doesn't exactly pay the bills, but Erwin is already helping me out with that."
"How so?"
"Oh, he got me a job," Hange answers, careless. Meanwhile, dread starts to pool in Levi's chest.
"A job... at his school?"
"Yes!" Hange exclaims. "How did you guess?"
Levi lets out a loud, long-suffering sigh.
"I work there too."
Hange claps their palms together. "What a coincidence!"
Oh, Levi doubts it. He heavily suspects, and has enough reasons to be almost sure that it's another one of Erwin's never-ending schemes. He just can't yet guess what the main goal is. But it reveal itself in time, as always - in the most irritating way possible.
Levi, naturally, is thrilled beyond belief.
"Well, colleague," with a loud scratch of the chair, Hange stands up from the dinner table. They offer Levi a hand and a bright smile, "shall we go hunting for the ghost of your uncle?"
Naturally, they don't get to ghosthunting - as Hange had to put it - right way. First, Levi forces them to clean the dining table and wash the dishes.
And as both of them stand over the sink - Hange flicking his way droplets of water and Levi hitting their thigh with a rug for every missile that meets its mark, the unexpected domesticity brings to life a warm and gentle feeling that worms its way right into Levi's heart.
Inexplicably, but he likes having Hange by his side, despite meeting them not a day ago.
Perhaps, despite all complications, it's a good thing. He's to be their coworker after all.
So, he ignores, but doesn't discard this feeling, even when it starts getting particularly irritating as Hange brushes their shoulder against his with a small and - dare Levi say - even sweet smile.
Done with the dishes, they finally get on with the reason they've actually gathered here for.
Hange takes a couple of things from their bag - strange, complicated-looking devices that Levi prefers not to ask about - and moves into his bedroom, sitting down on his bed.
Again, Levi feels that weird flutter in his chest. And again, he elects to ignore it. At least, this time, the reason for it is obvious. He has - by all existing standards - a gorgeous person in his bed.
Levi would be even more excited if Hange didn't hold so many weird gadgets. And Kenny's ghost wasn't lurking somewhere nearby.
As it is now, the atmosphere is so un-arousing that it's not even worth mentioning. And the gorgeous person in his bed is currently arranging the ghostbusting equipment - either alphabetically or chronologically, Levi doesn't know and doesn't care to find out.
Finally, Hange finishes with their preparations. Levi turns his head so he can meet their eyes and asks, "So... do we summon him now?"
"Summon? No, no!" Hange vehemently shakes their head. "I'm a scientist, Levi. We just sit here and wait until your uncle reveals yourself. If he is as vicious as you claim, we won't be waiting for long."
Sit and wait. On his bed. In such close proximity. Great.
Levi swallows heavily and says something he never thought he'd ever say to anyone ever.
"Perhaps, while we're waiting, we can... talk?"
That gets him another bright and an extremely pretty smile. This starts to get annoying, Levi thinks, but can’t do anything to actually reason with his heart.
"Sure! Let’s talk! Tell me more about your uncle!"
Not the best topic of conversation but... perfect for distracting him from his rather... uncomfortable feelings.
"He was..." Levi pauses, thinking whether he should sugarcoat the actual truth. Then decides fuck it. "An asshole and drunkard. And a criminal. A notorious one at that. When he wasn't stirring some shit, he was usually deep in a bottle. I don't know what kind of arrangement he had with my mom, but after she was no longer here, he took me in. And a year later he sent me to the boarding school. The cheapest out there too, bastard. I refused to speak with him, naturally. I just—" he pauses, draws a deep breath, palms involuntarily tightening into fists. So many years has passed and still, he's— well, not angry, not really. He had been angry before, he had been furious, but now— now he's just sad.
Gods, he's turning thirty-four this year and he's still not over that. Perhaps, Kenny was right in leaving him behind then. After all, who would want such a whiny, pathetic—
"Hey," warm, steady hands fall upon his, holding on tightly, rubbing circles into the juncture of his thumbs until his fists relax, allowing another palm slide right next to his.
He looks up and sees Hange looking back at him. There is a smile on their lips – not pitying, not condescending but just a little sad. “No kid deserves such treatment, no matter what they did or didn’t do. Your uncle was clearly a piece of shit if he did that,” then, still holding his hands and now interlacing their fingers, with a grin that Levi suddenly very much wants to feel against his lips, Hange adds, “let’s exorcise the son of a bitch, eh?”
Levi couldn’t agree more and just as he wants to agree verbally, a loud thud rings out right over their heads. Hange jumps, but Levi, more than accustomed to this particular kind of bullshit, only sighs and mutters,
“Well, speak of the fucking devil.”
That earns Levi a book flying out of the bookshelf which he, thankfully, deftly catches before it can hit him or Hange in the face.
"What a lively guy!" Hange exclaims, as they grab what Levi's pretty sure is a spirit box in their hands. "Let's find out what he has to say!"
The device comes to life with a cacophony of nearly unbearably loud sounds. The white noise grates on Levi's already fried nerves, hissing and screeching, then ceases suddenly, with a frighteningly clear,
"What a sexy babe."
Hange looks at him, eyes wide and lips trembling as though they try to hold in a laugh, and Levi wishes one of the books Kenny oh so likes to throw around killed him on a spot.
Fucking pervert. But did he really expect anything else? From his shithead of an uncle?
He hits the wall next to his head, hoping - against all logical reasons - that it affects Kenny at least a little, in whatever way a ghost can even be affected.
"Stop fooling around! Just tell us what you want and fuck off already."
A loud, clinking noise comes out of Hange's spirit box, vastly different from the white noise they’ve heard earlier, almost resembling a laugh.
"Don't want to... interrupt two... lovebirds."
You already do, Levi thinks, wanting nothing more to throttle his uncle to second death.
He turns to Hange, eyes pleading, "Is there a way to punch a ghost?"
"I would have said no just five minutes ago, but your uncle - wow," Hange lets out an incredulous chuckle, their eyes glinting with nearly manic excitement. "I've never heard such clear responses from a spirit box. That's incredible!"
Levi feels a vein on his forehead pop. "And how we deal with that fucking incredible?" he grits out.
"Don't worry," Hange reaches out and squeezes his hand with a placating smile. "I'll handle this."
Just as they finish speaking - an awful, metallic sound reaches them. If asked about it later, Levi would vehemently deny that, but in the moment – he thinks it almost sounds like Kenny’s cooing at him. His left eye starts twitching.
He can only hope that amidst all this chaos Hange - and especially Kenny - cannot see the red that stubbornly clings to his cheeks.
"Hello, Mr. Ackerman!" Hange begins, voice cheerful, friendly like they're having a heartfelt conversation with a new acquaintance and not speaking to an abomination that's been terrorizing Levi's life for nearly two months. "My name is Hange, I'm Levi's new friend, and I’ve heard you’ve been making life real hard for him. And because I’m his friend, I can’t allow this to continue. So,” Hange leans forward, their arms planted on their lap. “What are we going to do about it?”
The silence after stretches out for so long, Levi starts thinking that Kenny won't ever answer, that Hange actually accomplished an impossible feat - made his uncle finally shut up. But then, in the near suffocating silence in the room, spirit box comes back alive with a surprisingly clear and distinct,
“Tch… so annoying.”
And if Levi ever doubted that it was his uncle that banged on his doors and walls, that phrase alone, the one he heard so many times is all the proof he needs.
“Oh, c’mon,” Hange cries out, clasping their knee in exasperation. “We’re trying to actually help you! Even though, I doubt you deserve it. But Levi does, so, I’ll ask you once again – what do you want? Why are you here?”
This time, the silence lasts longer and is so much tenser that Levi can practically feel the pressure growing inside the bedroom. He doesn’t know what to expect – Kenny actually cooperating with Hange’s demands seems too unreal, impossible to even imagine, but what else can he do? Will he just vanish, only to start again next night? Will he retaliate somehow? Should Levi prepare to dodge more books? Get mentally ready to replace all the windows and mirrors in his house? Or return to pondering about looking for new place to live?
After what feels like forever, right as Levi’s patience begins to snap, the spirit box turns on again, and out of it comes only a single word,
“Lonely.”
And even despite the metallic tint and screeching of the white noise in the background, it sounds so defeated, so wrong. That’s not how Kenny should speak. Levi has never heard him talk like that, even after his mother’s death.
And what he is even talking about? Lonely? Who is lonely? And since when Kenny even cared about sentimental things like that?
“And who’s fault is that?” Hange asks, evidently not as confused by Kenny’s answer as Levi. If anything, they look enraged – eyes behind the lenses of their glasses are narrowed into slits and lips are pressed into a tight line. They look… fierce. Even Levi feels uneasy, and their anger isn’t even aimed at him. “You gave your nephew away, you neglected him, you’re bothering him even now, and you blame it on loneliness. Well, boo hoo, you bastard, ever wondered if that’s exactly what you get for your shitty behavior?”
Hange pauses then, takes a deep, steadying breath and in an instant – their expression changes, becomes far less hostile, regains some of its previously absent warmth.
“Sorry, sorry, that was— well, that wasn’t uncalled for, but that’s not why I am here, right? I came to help Levi, and to do that, I’ve got to help you too. And while I can’t unmake your mistakes," Hange takes a moment to think, tapping a finger against their chin. "Yeah, definitely too late for that, but... maybe, I can help you make amends? Mm, this will work, I think. So, how about this – I can stop by every week, chat with you and what not, so you won’t feel so lonely anymore, but in return – you must promise to leave Levi alone. That is,” they add hastily, pushing the glasses up their nose with slightly shaky hands. Is it his imagination or did their face actually turn red? “if that’s alright with you, Levi. I’ll be imposing on you, after all.”
“Are you alright with that?” Levi shoots back. “You’ll be the one babysitting my asshole of an uncle.”
“I’m sure I’ll charm him in no time,” Hange turns off the spirit box, then turns their head, meets Levi's eyes, gives him a wink and adds, “Both of you, actually.”
Oh what a— what a goddamned tease. Hange must know what they're doing to him, which also means they must know that he's— well, already completely charmed. And they must know that he's powerless to do anything about it, not with his dead uncle still there and definitely watching.
But he wants to do something. He wants to take that stupid, attractive as hell face into his hands and kiss the living lights out of them, until both of them are breathless and panting heavily into each other mouths.
Gods, he wants it so, so much. And who wouldn't? Hange is gorgeous, Hange is witty, Hange is kind - they're even willing to deal with his shitbag of an uncle, and they're so close, and in his bed and Levi— Levi doesn't think he ever wanted anyone more than them.
But Kenny, fucking Kenny. If Levi does anything now, he won't ever know peace.
And judging by the sly grin on their face, Hange also knows it. And they're amused as hell by this.
Honestly, they're so infuriating it somehow circles back to being irresistible.
"I guess that's enough fun for tonight," Hange stretches arms above their head and no, Levi definitely doesn't take a peek at the sliver of skin that this action reveals. "I need my beauty sleep too. So... see you at school?"
"Eh?" the whiplash is so sudden it takes Levi an embarrassingly long time to catch up. "You mean you're leaving? It's the almost midnight."
Hange lifts their eyebrows. "I know you've dined me already, shorty, although there has been no wine, but aren't we moving a little fast? First you introduce me to your family, now you want to take me straight to bed. Should I expect a ring by the end of the next week?"
"Hilarious." Levi deadpans. "You haven't charmed me that much yet," a bold-faced lie, but Levi hopes Hange still buys it. "I was offering you my couch."
"I didn't exactly reject an offer to a bed..." Hange says and has the audacity to pout, but less than a moment later a smile comes back on their face. "But the absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever they say, right?"
"Uh-uh," Levi absentmindedly agrees and then makes his biggest mistake ever - he lets his head rest against the pillow. Instantly, his intention to get up and find the bedding for Hange loses a fight against the warm and soft bed and exhaustion that suddenly hits him with full force. He closes his eyes - just for a moment, just to rest a bit, and then— he's out cold.
He doesn't hear Hange gathering their gadgets, doesn't stir from their gentle, endeared chuckle, doesn't even feel their hand briefly brush through the hair on his forehead.
For the first time in a month, Levi gets a full night of deep, uninterrupted sleep.
When morning comes, it's surprisingly devoid of awkwardness. Hange doesn't tease him too much for falling asleep in the middle of a conversation, they even hold no grudge against him not actually providing them with a comfortable place to sleep. They wave off his apologies, keep repeating that it's not a big deal at all, but when Levi offers a consolation in a form of scrambled eggs with bacon, they take it without hesitation.
The breakfast goes without much fanfare and is accompanied by Hange's stories from work which this time is not tragic in the slightest, and one of them - is even funny enough to draw a chuckle out of Levi.
The whole scene is still awfully domestic, but this time - Levi finds that he actually doesn't mind it. After finishing their food, they again deal with the dishes together, and as Hange's shoulder again brushes against his, instead of pulling back - Levi leans in.
Soon after, too soon, in Levi's opinion, Hange starts getting ready to leave. They put all their equipment back into their bag, but— thrust a spirit box into Levi's hands with another irritating wink and a heinous suggestion of,
"Perhaps, you'd like to chat with your uncle while I'm gone."
Levi doesn't even dignify that with an answer. He had his fill of communicating with Kenny, and next time that he does it - he hopes it'd be with Hange by his side.
They’re tying their shoes at his doorstep, when Levi realizes that he doesn't know how to say goodbye to them. Would a simple word suffice? Should he wave his hand? Pat their shoulder?
But Hange decides that for him, and as soon as they're finished with their shoes, they envelop him in a squishiest, most bone-crushing hug Levi ever experienced.
He has no choice but to hug them back.
"See you at school, yeah?" Hange says into his ear, their breath warming his cheek. They then squeeze him one more time for good measure, take a step back and, raising their voice, exclaim, "and I'll see you this Friday, uncle Kenny!"
And then Hange is off, skipping towards the bus station. And as Levi watches them go, he allows himself a small, but content smile.
Perhaps, Kenny wasn’t the only one, who felt lonely. Perhaps, both of them won't be lonely anymore.