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It wasn’t that no one trusted the pair not to be able to handle the missions.
Quite the opposite in fact; the two immortals have proved quite the boon to the Akatsuki; bringing in money from bounties as well as removing potential threats to their cause in the process. They haven’t failed to bring in jinchuriki either, hence they were trusted with the more difficult jobs.
Konan had asked them to join her in her own mission; to go and investigate a small village that may hold either a new ally or a potential threat to their goals.
She didn’t think they would have much trouble with how well their track record of accomplishments was. With such skilled shinobi at her side this should go smoothly without incident.
At least it should have.
“You know old man, you really should have just let me kill that old bitch from the inn,” Hidan huffed, walking beside Kakuzu as they stood behind the woman known as the Angel of Ame, “She was definitely overcharging us. I thought you’d at least take a swing at her…”
“If I recall, Hidan,” The familiar irritation laced in the deep rumble of Kakuzu’s voice had Konan give a silent exasperated breath, “She only charged us extra because you didn’t clean up after your damned ritual in the room.”
“Listen, if you wanted me to fucking clean up the mess, you shouldn’t have sucked the soul outta me.”
Konan almost choked on her own spit at hearing that, turning her head slightly with her orange eyes looking at them. Did…did she just hear these two right? Did they forget she is literally right here in front of them? On a mission?!
“Maybe you need to work on your stamina,” Kakuzu retorted coolly, though even with his mask and cowl on there was almost a little gleam of mischief in his green eyes.
Hidan blanched at him as a flush came to his pale cheeks, “You literally wouldn’t stop even when I finished the first three times, it was like you were waiting for me to be dry!”
She felt her cheeks grow warm at the insinuation. The last time she was in a predicament like this was when Yahiko was alive and Nagato could still walk. It could almost be nostalgic if not or the fact she only knew Kakuzu and Hidan on a surface level currently, not personal like some of the others.
Unfortunately she found she could not turn off her ears.
“You still passed out before cleaning up and my neck hurt after you grabbed my hair and wrapped your legs around my throat,” Kakuzu huffed, seemingly forgetting their third party before them, “I couldn’t very well clean it up myself with a bad neck.”
…Say this is just a weird dream. Let this be a weird dream I’ll wake up from soon and then start the mission. There is no way they are talking about that with me here, she felt like she was steaming from how badly her cheeks were flushed.
A snort leaves Hidan, “Heh, see you say you can’t, but I’ve seen you get a lot done with just one mask remaining and limbs torn off. You could have at least given me a breather to clean it before we continued…”
She looked back again at them..and saw the silver haired religious zealot gently run the back of his hand down Kakuzu’s arm. The old man rumbled again but did not seem to be upset in the lightest at the action. In fact he seemed to sigh, resigning himself as he moved a little closer to the younger immortal.
“As if you would have even bothered to do it when we were in the middle of that.”
“I woulda…once I had a little more time to recover.”
…they…they are showing each other so much affection. Is this how they usually are on missions? It’s like they completely forgot I am here.
“Please,” Kakuzu rolled his eyes before nudging the other away in a playful manner.
Hidan just snickered, “Come on now, have a little faith in me old man. I haven’t died once while working with ya have I?”
“Unfortunately.”
“Oh, you like my company, just admit it.”
“I’d like it more if you’d be quieter.”
“But then who is going to keep you from being bored? I just fill the silence so you don’t have to. I should be praised for that!”
It felt like she had woken up and stepped into an alternate reality. She had always thought these two couldn’t stand each other based on how meetings always went during extractions. How they threatened and cursed at each other like no tomorrow or how Kakuzu was always getting on his partner’s case whenever he said something stupid. This made absolutely no sense whatsoever to Konan. However the irritation eased somewhat when they seemed to spot the walls of the small village miles from where they stood.
She felt a little guilty for how relieved she felt seeing them, hoping it would at least get Kakuzu and Hidan to stop.
“Do you think the inns here are as expensive as the ones in Yugakure?”
“I should hope not, Hidan, since all of them are regular ones and don’t have hot springs. Unless you suddenly decide that you want to perform a ritual before letting me suck you off.”
“Ahem,” Konan cleared her throat loudly now, as she curled her fingers into fists as she turned to the two men who now seemed to remember she was with them finally, “...Kakuzu. Hidan. Remember why we are here, this is not a leisurely bounty hunt, this is a mission to ensure the future of the Akatsuki.”
Somehow she kept her voice steady and as she spoke at least it seemed Kakuzu was decent enough to look embarrassed. Hidan though? He looked more annoyed as he crossed his arms with his shoulders tense and a pink flush to his cheeks.
“...Now then, shall we?” Konan turned back around so they could continue hoping that at least these two would have some decorum–
“Tell me you and I are getting a separate room…” Hidan murmured to Kakuzu as they followed her.
A snort left the miser, “You’re the only person I’m comfortable enough with to share a futon, of course we’re getting separate rooms.”
Konan took a slow breath as the two chuckled and began talking softly to each other so she wouldn’t hear this time. At least she took some comfort knowing she was going to have her own room.