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Sam Winchester had his life all planned out.
His wrist, at birth, had read “21”- the number of years he would have to wait before meeting his soulmate. On his twenty-first birthday, it had changed to read “11″- the number of months. He would meet his soulmate in April, near the end of his final semester at Stanford.
Except Sam had already met his soulmate.
Castiel was a teacher’s aid who had made it incredibly difficult to concentrate in Geology sophomore year. It wasn’t the first time he’d had a crush, certainly, but Sam knew better than to pursue anyone. Jessica Moore, who he met his first semester, had asked him out, but her wrist read “26," so she wasn’t the girl for him. Castiel’s timer had read “22″ when they met, and he’d been twenty. Sam was nineteen. It could work. Castiel did not return his feelings, but they quickly formed a tight friendship.
And then Sam’s timer told him he had eleven months, and two months later, Cas’ told him he had nine. Both of them would find love in April. They had to be soulmates, Sam protested. He wanted them to be soulmates. He’d long ago given up on a romantic relationship with Castiel, but not all soulmates were romantic, after all. And Castiel made him feel safe. He loved knowing exactly what he was going to do in life. He loved that he could start planning for after school right away, instead of waiting to see what sort of soulmate he’d end up with.
When April rolled around and Sam was told to wait eight days and Cas was told two days later to wait six… that settled it for both of them. They were to be together, regardless of having met early on. Sam spent those six days happily planning out the rest of their lives together. Cas wanted to settle down in town, find a house, keep his job at the library. Sam would move in with him, talk him into doing a little travel on the side, get a dog and a cat.
They planned for the day and everything. April tenth was a beautiful Friday, and Sam cut class and Cas took off work for the occasion. No one blamed them- meeting a soulmate was an important milestone in life. Sam called his brother, who agreed to take the time off and drive down to meet Sam’s new life partner for the first time. Everything was perfect.
They were at their favorite window table, in a diner just out of town, sipping milkshakes and watching the time idly, counting down to both 4pm, when they’d know how many more minutes, and 4:15pm, when Dean was supposed to show up… and everything went disastrously wrong.
Barely a minute from four, Sam saw a man balancing several boxes crossing the empty street. He watched lazily, eyes out of focus from staring at the clock for so long, then sat bolt upright as a silver car coasted through the quiet intersection’ stop sign and hit the man. Sam scrambled to his feet, letting his chair clatter to the floor, and bolted for the door, Castiel hot on his heels.
Fuck, they were going to miss four o’clock, Sam realized as he dashed across the parking lot. The car had slowed slightly, then taken off like a shot when the driver realized what they’d done, and the man still hadn’t moved. His boxes were scattered across the blacktop. Sam was faster than Cas, and Cas must have realized this, because he stopped short in the parking lot and shouted, “I’ll call an ambulance.”
Sam should have done something. He should have insisted that Cas wait on the ambulance and come with him. But it was too late, and Sam was nearly at the man’s side before he even thought about checking his wrist. He caught a brief glance of “23.” That was okay. He could be back with Cas in twenty-three minutes.
The man in the road had halfway sat up by the time Sam reached him, and, after checking for any other traffic, Sam ran into the street. “Hey, are you alright? You need to go to the hospital?” There was definitely blood on the pavement, although not a lot of it.
The man- short, golden-haired, in a torn canvas jacket- didn’t look up at him, turning away and hunching over his arm. “No, no I have to be somewhere, I’m meeting someone. It’s urgent that I-” He twisted his wrist to look at it, even though it obviously hurt to do so, and that was enough to prompt Sam to look at his own. “2″.
No. No, that couldn’t be right, twenty one minutes couldn’t have passed in the blink of an eye. “23″ and “2″ must have been referring to seconds. But he couldn’t get to Cas in two seconds! He needs to-
The wounded man suddenly turned, and his wide hazel eyes locked with Sam’s as a flare of heat swept through Sam’s whole body, from his head all the way down his chest and to his gut.
No.
Sam felt suddenly like vomiting. Like maybe he could forcibly eject that heat wave and make his way back to Cas and pretend that nothing had ever happened. The stranger smiled, softly, awe-struck. “It’s you.”
There was a patch of torn-up skin on his right cheek, but he barely seemed to notice it as his smile broadened, eyes lit up with amazement. “I thought I wasn’t going to make it in time. And you came to me.”
Sam could barely catch his breath; he didn’t want to be here, he needed to get back to Cas- to stability, to his plans, to his life- “I’m sorry. I think…. I think you have the wrong guy. It’s not… I’m spoken for,” he stammered out. He pulled the stranger to his feet, thankful that his legs seemed okay. “Wait for the ambulance, okay?”
And then Sam did something he wasn’t proud of- he left the stranger standing on the sidewalk, boxes still scattered in the road, and ran away, back to the diner in search of Cas. “Wait! Please, I don’t know your name!” the man yelled after him. Like a goddamn Cinderella re-enactment. Fuck it, Sam thought as he bolted back down to the diner.
Fuck him.
Cas wasn’t in the parking lot. He wasn’t inside calling an ambulance either. He was inside, perched on one of the empty tables, and making out passionately with Sam’s brother.
“Cas, what the hell?” Sam shouted, still out of breath from tearing down the street.
Cas looked over at him, face serious except for the tiny smile tugging at his lips. “Your brother was early and you were late.”
“Hey Sammy,” Dean said sheepishly, running a hand through his unruly hair. “Sorry to walk in and steal your guy.”
“Our timers match, Sam,” Cas slid down from the table and stood next to Dean, placing a hand on his shoulder. Dean beamed down at him. “We met at four oh four exactly.”
Sam felt like his legs were gonna give out right there, in the doorway of the diner. The waitress behind the counter was watching them like one watches a soap opera when nothing else is on. He finally pulled out a chair from the nearest table and sank down onto it, trying his hardest to feel happy for his brother and his…. no-longer-boyfriend. “That’s great. I’m glad. Didn’t know you had an April timer, Dean.”
“Yeah, I kinda lost count," Dean said sheepishly. "Then it turned a few days ago and I figured I’d meet someone on the drive over, or at your school. Didn’t know it’d be…” He draped an arm over Cas’ shoulders and grinned. “So if yours isn’t four oh four, what time is it?” He lowered his voice. “Waitress maybe? She’s cute.”
Sam swallowed hard. If his soulmate wasn’t Cas, that meant what he’d felt for the man in the road actually meant something. He suddenly had a complete stranger in his life. “Four oh one,” he whispered, deflated.
Cas’ eyes jolted open as he remembered why Sam hadn’t been there in the first place. “The guy who got hit- is he alright? I called the ambulance...”
“Just fine,” Sam mumbled.
“Is he…”
Sam had already left the guy by the side of the road with a broken arm. A little more guilt wouldn’t hurt. “No,” he fibbed. “He’s already married.”
Castiel frowned. “I don’t understand. The timers are never wrong…”
“Forget it. I’ll figure it out, alright? You two go back to Cas’ apartment.”
“Dinner first,” Dean chimed in. “I was just on the road for nine hours.”
—
Sam sat across from them, half-heartedly contributing to the discussion and celebrations. He wasn’t in love with Castiel, and he was watching his brother fall in love with Castiel right there in front of him, but he still felt numb inside, confused and hurt over what had happened. He’s graduating in a few weeks and suddenly, his whole life had just fallen apart. He doesn’t have an apartment to move into, he doesn’t know where he should start looking for work, and his timer is zero-ed out without Cas by his side.
Dean and Cas did go back to Cas’ apartment, and Sam walked back to his dorm slowly and alone.
He helped move a few boxes of his things out of Cas’ apartment the next day while Dean and Cas made out against every wall in the place.
Both of them kept asking if he was “okay” or if he “needed time” before they moved in together, but he honestly didn’t mind the two of them being together and happy. He just hated being alone and lost.
Sam graduated, moved from his dorm to a little apartment by himself, and got a third shift job hauling boxes and crates around an ink factory. It wasn’t bad. He slept from mid afternoon til eleven or so at night, then got up and drove to work, sometimes stopping at a late-night restaurant for something resembling breakfast. After he got off work at eight-thirty, he was free to spend the morning and early afternoon in the local parks, at the library, at the beach, or wandering downtown. He tended to avoid the empty apartment. Once or twice he caught a glimpse of sandy blond hair and brown eyes, but none of the faces were familiar. He didn’t even know what he’d do if one of them was.
A few months passed before he decided to go back to the diner where everything had fallen apart. It was ten at night and he just wanted an order of fries before they closed up, but when he slid a few dollar bills over the counter, the woman behind it caught his wrist.
“You’re the tall guy who was in here a few months ago, aren’t you? Your brother found his soulmate?”
Sam nodded, suddenly recognizing the dark haired woman as the waitress who’d watched as Dean and Cas got together. Her name tag read “Hannah.”
“Your buddy from the street came in here a few days after and wanted to know if I knew your name,” Hannah said as she let go of Sam’s wrist and fumbled for something below the counter. “I took down his number.”
“I… I’m alright, thanks.”
She held out a slip of paper to him anyway. “He said it was incredibly important.”
“I don’t want to talk to him. He’s just…” Sam sighed. “He’s just a guy I helped out once. Didn’t even catch his name.”
“Gabriel Novak.” Hannah puts the paper on the counter and crosses her arms. “And he implied the two of you were soulmates. That’s a lot more than just a guy you helped out.”
Sam shrugged. “Not interested.”
“With all due respect, sir,” Hannah said slowly, “you’re being an ass. You’ve never talked to this man, and you’re refusing to even contact him?”
“I don’t know him,” Sam protested. “He’s just a stranger.“ A stranger whose smile is burned into Sam’s memory, but still a stranger.
Hannah picked up his money and punched the order into the cash register. “Please just take the number. He was very distraught when he came looking for you.”
Sam picked up the paper and sat on one of the counter barstools, glancing around the otherwise empty diner. “I had my whole life all planned out. I don’t know if I can just rearrange it for someone I don’t even know.”
“So you’re scared of the unknown.” Hannah plunked two dimes and a penny on the counter in front of him. “We all kinda are. That’s the point of the timers, you know? They don’t let you work out something neat and tidy before you meet up. They just slam two people together.”
“Sounds messy,” Sam commented as she turned away to start his order.
“Love is messy. But it gives you what you need.” Hannah added over her shoulder, “I’d call that stranger, if I were you. Think he needs you.”
—
“Hey-o, Gabriel Novak speaking.”
“Hi,” Sam stumbled out. “This is Sam.”
“You with the magazine? Wasn’t expecting to hear from you this week yet-”
“No, sorry, I’m… I’m the guy from the diner. In Stanford.”
Gabriel was quiet, and then there was a thud, as though he’d had his chair tilted backwards and let it fall forward in shock. “Oh. Wasn’t really expecting to hear from you either,” Gabriel said, voice hushed.
“Yeah.” Sam shuffled one foot against the dirt under his park swing. “Look, I want to apologize for taking off on you like that. And I want to do it in person.”
“Oh, god, okay.” Papers shuffled in the background. “Are you still in Stanford?”
“Yeah, I’m still out here. Got an apartment and a job and everything.”
“I’m actually in New Mexico at the moment, but I can be back in Cali within the week, if you want. Seriously, I’m mostly a free agent.”
“Okay,” Sam murmured. “Do you want to meet me Friday for lunch? Same diner?”
—
Sam’s heart was still hammering hard in his chest when the bells above the door chimed again and his date walked in. Gabriel Novak was shorter than he remembered, and the raw, red patch down the side of his face had healed over to a shiny, pale pink scar. He’d lost weight. His eyes lit on Sam for a moment, and the next thing Sam knew, he was face to face across the table with his soulmate.
“You’re prettier than I remembered,” Gabriel said finally, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hands, smiling at Sam the same way he had the day of the accident. Sam’s heart might have started melting a little.
As they ordered and ate, Sam explained what he’d expected for that warm April Friday and why he’d run away, and Gabriel burst out laughing when he heard about Sam’s brother swooping in and stealing Sam’s man. His happiness was contagious, and Sam finally got up the guts to admit why he hadn’t gone back. “I was just so afraid of messing up my life by getting to know you, and now I don’t know why.”
“Couldn’t tell you.” Gabriel looked down into his plate and said quietly, “I was terrified, for almost thirty years, of my soulmate not even wanting me.”
“Oh.” Guilt crushed over Sam as he realized what that miserable day must have been like for Gabriel. Sam had rejected him. Sam had broken his heart without even knowing him.
"Yeah." Gabriel poked at his pile of ketchup with a fry. "These last few months have been rough."
“I am so sorry,” Sam choked out. “I- Listen, I- god, I just met you, but I want to know all about your life. Please. I want to be a part of it. You don’t have to be afraid of that anymore.”
Gabriel looked up at him again. “I’m a travel agent, so I get to roam the country a lot, and I have three dogs. Sound fun?”
Sam reached across the table and took his hand. “Sounds perfect.”
They didn’t even make it to Gabriel’s car before Sam gave in and leaned down to kiss him, and Gabriel kissed back filthily, tangling his fingers in Sam’s hair and dragging him closer. “So which do you think,” Gabriel panted when Sam finally let him breathe again, “has thicker walls? My hotel or your apartment?”
“Your mind got filthy fast,” Sam teased as he slid into the passenger seat.
“We have a few months to make up for,” Gabriel answered with a wink.
—
Hannah came to their wedding, and Sam crushed her in a tight hug and thanked her for everything. She also met Gabriel’s friend Charlie at the reception, and ended up thanking both of them for introducing her to her own soulmate. Dean and Cas were there too, of course, and the teasing Sam received for running away from love for so long was enough to last a lifetime.
Sam had no idea where he would be headed after the honeymoon. The pair of them went where the wind took them, or occasionally where Gabriel was assigned. But he didn’t need to know. With Gabriel, he was content letting things happen, even messily sometimes. Gabriel really had been what he needed.
His timer read “0″ and he was happier than he’d ever been before.