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It was sort of an unspoken rule in the Firelights’ base—any new mother came first. Labour was intense, horrifying, and whatever came next, it was the firelight’s responsibility to help the new parents. In all her years here, Jinx had only ever helped with two births. Her dear friend Damita had two children, in two years, whom she’s the godmother of.
Otherwise, she was a postpartum fairy. Dropping off fun things for the mothers who went through screeching hell to birth a parasite. She never really understood why they planned to birth those things, but held back her thoughts. Those gifts went unnamed, because it embarrassed her to act like they do.
To play nice, and to have everyone else’s interests in mind. If any of them had the mind to thank her for her secret baskets, she pretended not to know what they’re talking about, as if they hadn’t caught onto her years long habit.
Her husband is a very soft man, secretly. She’d see how much he loved playing with babies—and all children, really. Ekko has always been adorable, and more so when his eyes soften, and a genuine smile graces his lips. As their leader, he’s had his fair share of marriage and relationship problems.
Well… not their relationship. He mediates a lot of the fights, serving as a middle ground between the two parties. And with a very happy wife, he can give proper advice based on his own marriage. And as his wife, she gets to pretend to help—when really, she just loves to be in people’s business.
Ever since they’ve eloped, Jinx can’t get enough of her husband, and very clearly so, when a pregnancy test ends up positive after three years of marriage. She stared at the test for what seemed like hours—hoping the second line would disintegrate the next time she blinked.
Ekko didn’t know; she hadn’t told him right away. Instead, she quietly slipped more onto her plate during dinner that day. Dazed, and confused, she ate for her potential baby, too. Doubts swarmed her mind, voices loud and terrifying. It wasn’t like she didn’t know how pregnancy tests worked—she’d sat through endless tests with Damita.
But she didn’t think it was possible for her to even bear a child. Her body was frail, pumped full of shimmer, and she’d breathed enough toxic gases for a lifetime. What about her baby? Jinx had missed her monthly that month, and otherwise, she had no symptoms. None of that throwing up and nausea the other women went through.
“You like crawlers, don’t you?” Jinx whispers to him that night, tucked underneath his chin, “Babies, I mean.” They have never discussed children before—Ekko had briefly said that he’d only ever want children if they’re hers. She didn’t think anything of it, barely gave it any thought. “Sure, I do.” He whispers back, voice thick in sleep, stroking her hair as softly as a lullaby.
“I see how you look at the children.” She hums gently, palm softly pushing against her belly, covered by the thick blanket. Would he be thrilled to have his own? “Jinx…” His breath catches in his throat, softly murmuring, “I’m happy with you as we are.”
“But don’t you ever think of having one of your own?” She pokes her nail to his chest, pouting. Heart pounding in her ear as she continues with a whisper, “A baby.” She would be the one tearing herself into two while bringing it to this world, but she supposes it’d be his baby too.
“You’re my wife, blue.” Ekko murmurs, “My world.” Only stopping to shift, arms falling around her frame, holding her close, “I don’t want anything that won’t make you happy.” She’s happy in his arms, happy to be loved and cherished—but won’t a parasite disrupt all of that? It could ruin her mind, push her to the edge of insanity again, and ruin her body.
“Take off your shirt.” She storms into Damita’s house, forgoing all formalities. Her second kid is barely two years old, and currently eating… gross things off the floor. “Hello to you, too.” Damita rolls her eyes in mild annoyance, slumped over the couch, with a dumb book in her hands. “It’s important.” Jinx urgently plops next to her, tugging at the hem of her blouse.
Jinx gasps, horrified, hand clasped to her mouth as soon as Damita’s shirt is off. Wasn’t her chest smaller? Wasn’t all of her smaller? Damita’s eyebags suddenly become increasingly apparent, her half brushed hair, and how little time she spends getting dolled up now. Just half a decade ago, she would spend no less than a couple hours getting ready.
Is this what will happen to Jinx?
She glances at the apparent stretch marks, then at the baby babbling to itself. It’s a parasite. She wastes no time, getting up after placing a prompt kiss to the baby’s cheek, and waving at its mother. Is that all she will be? A mother? If she got rid of it in some back alley clinic, Ekko would never know.
It took a week of panic and abnormal sleeping for him to notice something was wrong, like it frequently was for her, and gently asked. “I’m… sick.” She told him with a shaky voice, “My stomach hurts.” Ekko’s warm hands linger on her shoulders, steady as he scans her body, “Did you see the medic yet?”
Tears sting the back of her eyes, lips quivering as they pull taut against each other, and she pushes out a wet, “No.” The knot in her throat only tightens, squeezing down on her chest too. “Don’t worry, sweetheart.” He chuckles, pushing the strands of hair away from her forehead, and pressing a soft kiss, “I’ll pick up something for you.”
How could she get rid of his baby? The thought makes the tears fall, guilt gnawing on her, and she hurriedly wipes the streams of salty water, to no avail. His eyes widen as quickly as she begins bawling, stammering to comfort her. It’s just a stomach bug, to him. But to her, it’s a whole someone inside of her.
Her secret and her guilt only get worse when he frantically brushes his thumbs on her cheeks, wiping the liquid sadness off. “Get something for it, too.” She hics, snatching one of his hands, putting it on her belly as softly as can be, “It’s yours.”
Ekko’s brow shoots up in amused confusion, and he searches for any hint of her usual biting sarcasm, only to be met with the softest seriousness she unintentionally has. His expression falters, blinking a few times, “Are you…?” His hoarse whisper trails off.
Jinx tries to speak, she really does, but nothing comes—she can only push her hand onto her belly with trembling fingers. Watch how affectionate his gaze turns in just a second, and he softly exhales. “Our baby?” Ekko’s forehead falls onto hers, squeezing his eyes shut.
She often cries herself to sleep, held by him, never because of pregnancy. After taking another test with him, it only felt more real—permanent. It was his fault for getting her pregnant, she’d decided. Took it out on him as she wet his shirt, soaked through it with her tears. Only calmed down after his impromptu speech.
“I’m still shocked, I can’t lie. Your question from the other day makes a lot more sense now… But I should’ve answered you better. You’re my wife, and you’re carrying our baby… I won’t let you do it alone, Jinx, I promise. If that’s what you were worried about… anyway. As much as I know I’d love the kid, I love you more. What do you think… about this whole thing?”
She just cried, couldn’t really give him a proper answer, instead sobbing out her trivial concerns, “What if I’m not Jinx anymore? What if I’m too ugly or– or ruined after!” Maybe she’ll never be the person he fell in love with again, and once that happens, there’s nothing she can do to change it. If she has this kid, it’s over.
“T-This is the other fathers you see over here!” He stutters, holding her cheeks, looking into the depth of her soul as he murmurs, “I will be a good husband to you, Jinx. I won’t leave your side. And… It's a pregnancy, for god’s sake. Some things will change, I guess. But I’ve seen all of you. This could only make you more beautiful in my eyes.”
“What if I become bald?” She mumbled testingly, secretly relieved, beginning to feel calm in her chest. “I’ll shave my head.” He gives it no thought, almost comedic in how fast he responds. Jinx rolls her eyes, sighing in relief.
“Shave the baby’s hair off, too.” She giggles, pressing her cheek onto his palm, craving his warmth, his touch. Closing her eyes to better feel her husband and his love, collapsing into him with a begrudging smile. “I love you.” The words were all he told her all night, making sure she soaked it up each time.
Strawberries were her first intense craving. And the first time she’d seen Ekko stumble all over his shoelaces. When she rose up from bed mid noon with her exposed belly, rubbing it lazily, eyeing him like he’s candy—especially those pastries he’d brought with him. He’s not as subtle about how he feels about the baby as he thinks.
His eyes linger on her stomach, feeling the little curve beginning to form as she inhales the strawberry jam filled bread. “Elma says you’re to thank for my lack of sickness.” She says, going in for the second pastry. “How come?” Ekko whispers softly, gaze filled with careful affection.
“Your health affects my pregnancy.” Jinx hums as she stretches her joints, “Glad you ain’t a smoker or a drinker or… whatever. Yikes.” He swears he isn’t treating her like she’s a child, but immediately starts rubbing her stiff back. Even this early on in a pregnancy she tries not to acknowledge, he’s too careful, constantly hovering and satisfying all of her cravings.
All of them. And now that she’s already pregnant, he can indulge a certain craving of hers without all the barriers. On top of that, she gets to nap as freely as she wishes, and feels like a doll with how many compliments she’s received. Something about a glow to her now. And she supposes she sees it—how shiny her skin had become.
Her husband is kind enough to take her out for a second dinner, since she can’t stand how plain the food at the base is. Her appetite only gets worse at night, and she sometimes wakes up sad from how hungry she is. If it annoyed him, he never showed it, only quietly fond as she stuffs herself full.
Her first trimester, the medic had called it, was coming to an end. All her normal activities were going to be limited, and she was even banned from certain things. Her projects were cleared, tinkering was fine, but anything involved flying shards, explosions, gas, smoke, or potent smells were strictly not allowed.
It was only a month of the pregnancy that she’d known of, and it wasn’t really pretty. Ekko didn’t know what to do besides feed her and hold her—not that she needed anything more. It was happening so soon, the loss she feared so badly.
If it weren’t for his insistence to take time off too, she’d be stuck alone all day. It wasn’t exactly abnormal to give fathers time off during these times—it just wasn’t common for them to accept it, due to how uneventful it was for them. Not Ekko, though. They spent all day together, just enjoying each other’s company.
He’d touched her belly absentmindedly, stroking it firmly, forgetting how much she doesn’t enjoy acknowledging it. But it felt like it would be nice for the crawler. Jinx loves when he holds her, and finds comfort in it, maybe the baby would like to know its father, too. It hits her all over again—that she’s really pregnant with his baby.
And instead of dread, she only scoffs. Looking at her belly in the mirror like it’s foreign. Seeing Ekko struggle with it too makes it feel better—like she’s not the only one absolutely winging it. She’s the pregnant one, going through instability and even more mood swings than she normally does, and he’s the lucky one who just has to keep her happy. In all fairness, it’s a tough job!
There wasn’t much to do all day—as everyone else had things to take care of. She doesn’t know why he insists on being with her all day, or why it feels like he’s enjoying her cranky company more than he should be. But every half-sarcastic jab thrown his way makes an infatuated smile crawl up his face.
“Is there anything that I can help you with?” He seriously asks, as she lay sprawled over his lap, “You’re not asking for anything…” Jinx hums, taking her pick of favors like a spoiled little girl, ignoring the softness blooming in her chest. There hasn’t been much room for her to ask, really. If she’s uncomfortable, she’d grit her teeth and move on, and he’d always notice it.
It’s his baby she’s carrying, that’s draining her of energy, that’s putting her on the weakest and most vulnerable phase of her life. She can barely see the bump, and yet, her hormones are a mess. Constantly in need of his assurance, or his affection, like she can’t bear to live without it. “Just keep looking at me like that.” She bashfully smiles, “It’s good for the baby.”
It wasn’t about the baby for him, he made sure she knew. While he clearly was excited for his offspring—her pregnancy stayed about her. There were too many phrases that sounded like grating to her ears, like ‘Don’t sleep on your back! It’s bad for the baby!’ or ‘Don’t exercise! What about the baby?’ and her absolute favourite, ‘Don’t overwork yourself! The baby can feel your stress!’
The baby doesn’t care if she works out—to keep her muscles intact. Ekko likes to watch for some reason, wants to be there when she’s doing push ups, or sit ups. At some point, he started reading about exercises to help with pregnancy, ordering her to give five more sets like she’s a soldier training. It felt good to just be a person, even as she builds their own little person.
The second trimester was clearly bringing its own challenges. She’s a lot more tired, way more cranky, and she needs her husband to help her manage it all. Ekko is the sweetest man ever, still indulging her late night cravings that she can now blame on pregnancy—turning what would be a disturbance into a date.
Being married to him is as easy as breathing—only for her, probably. She knows she’s particularly demanding and has never ending problems; but isn’t really met with half as much attitude that she’d expect, which has somehow diminished to no attitude back, now that she’s pregnant.
It was on her fifth month that she noticed the bump, really. ‘Twas finally popping out, a solid curve that starts below her ribs and ends underneath the hem of her pants. She popped open her shorts that day, couldn’t get them to close, paired with a short top—that showed off her cute bump, as Ekko would say.
She was starting to suspect that he was all over her for different reasons, for selfish reasons. That he was enjoying her belly, and what it meant. Enjoying Jinx and who she is. And it’s the best thing he could do for her, just love her harder and forever the more this pregnancy begins to weigh on her—the more it chips away on her self-reliance.
If she can’t be a halfway decent mom, she knows Ekko will be the best dad out there—and it puts her mind at ease. “Will you care for the baby after I’m done being pregnant?” Jinx wonders aloud, palm stroking her belly softly, “Like what you do for me?” He smiles sincerely, one that reaches his eyes, softly pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Our baby will have plenty of people to care for it.” He murmurs, speaking with a gentleness that calms her, “Their smart and wonderful mom, totally awesome dad, and every other firelight. But you’ll have me like this for years, because… it’s not only about the baby, remember?”
“Remind me.” She needily whispers, throwing her arms around his neck, pleading for his closeness. “I love our child, and I love thinking that we’ll have a mini Jinx running around… But it’s you, Jinx, that I’ll always put first.” He strokes her cheek, praisingly so, and mumbles some more, “You’re pregnant, and it isn’t easy on you, I can tell.”
“You’ll make a wonderful mom for our baby, I’m sure of it… But you were my sweet wife first, no baby could ever make me disregard you. Believe me, I know it’s scary, but I’ll be right there with you—while you hold our baby, I’ll hold you. You’re mine to love.”
She hopes the baby can hear their dad—how gentle and sweet he is. Because this is the man she’s having a baby with, it doesn’t feel so hard. The ever growing bump is just a reminder of their child. It made her spiral at some point, that her baby would never get to meet its family. And secretly, this was about her, not the baby.
“I just never thought I’d have children…” Jinx hums into his chest, starting one of her usual late night rants, “And I thought I didn't want to disrupt her super fancy life. But this pregnancy is driving me crazy… and I don’t want my family to be born without her.”
It’s been more than a decade since their last meeting during the war—and after that ended pretty sourly, only Ekko would carry news of Jinx to her sister. “I really miss her.” She says to no one in particular. Could be for her belly, or her husband, she doesn’t really know.
“Vi adores you, blue.” He whispers, chest rumbling with his hushed words, “She’d be happy to… meet.” It doesn’t matter what Vi thinks, really. In her reality, Jinx would never fit in with her new life and the new wife of hers. Ekko says she’s a nice woman, but Jinx doesn’t give a hoot, since she’s not a part of her sister’s life anymore.
Damita had been both a demon and an angel—largely preparing her for the complications of birth and the reality of motherhood. But seeing her smooth the plump cheek of her baby, Jinx caresses her own belly, wondering if her child would be adorable too. Or if they’d rip her open like Damita’s demon did.
They both chose to say nothing when the topic of their babies’ fathers came up—some lousy man had given her two children and has been almost nowhere to be found during the whole thing. Jinx had stayed the nights with Damita sometimes, when her kid was still fresh out of the womb, and witnessed some horror that she calls a partner.
He slept through the baby’s cries, refused to change his son’s diapers, and would act like he’s a hero for watching the baby from time to time. It was Damita’s friends that kept her sane, she’d always say. If she didn’t have so many girl friends, would that stupid man have ruined her life? If Maeve, their other godmother, wasn’t constantly around, would Damita have been ruined by motherhood?
“How about we go out on a… fun day?” Jinx asks her skeptically, “Ekko can babysit your demons.” One was pregnant and the other is exhausted from her toddlers—they can’t party like they used to. Still, they took Maeve along, and vowed to not talk about kids or pregnancy or any of that stuff.
They’d gone to see a movie—some horror movie that almost made her whizz from thrill. Pregnancy was weird, and horrible! She had to go to the bathroom twice during a two hour movie. And she walks like there’s a stick shoved into where the sun doesn’t shine, almost out of breath when they walk a long distance.
But it was still something. She was still a thirty something year old with her girl friends on a midnight spin. Except, they couldn’t stay out for so long. It wasn’t safe for her anymore, now that she can’t really fend for herself properly. Even the gun strapped into her belt wasn’t enough—it wasn’t just her she’s protecting, it was her baby, as well.
Maeve teased her for going soft on them, and she’d flipped her off mid-laugh—filled with nostalgia for the wild rhythm of her old life. Being a wife didn’t change anything about her. She was still chaos entrapped in a body, still roamed the streets like she owned them—but with a husband whom she liked to bring along. Would their baby make a good underling?
Her baby will be the coolest baby ever, she feels it in every rebellious kick to her ribs. Ekko can teach it kindness and all the other bullshit—she’s already decided that she’ll be responsible for making the baby talk. It has to have her witty tongue, or it wouldn’t be hers. She wouldn’t really lose her spark if she shared it with the kid, instead.
It was during one of Ekko’s killer foot massages that she realised—they don’t have anything for the baby. Partially, it was her fault for dismissing him anytime he brought it up, saying they had time. “Where will my baby sleep?” Jinx accusatorily glances at Ekko, barely lifting her head off the too fluffed out pillows.
And so, they got a crib—not without Ekko praising her for being so thoughtful and smart. While she’s still not an emotional sap, his words hit a nice spot in her brain. What’s so thoughtful about wanting a crib for the baby? For starters, she actually acknowledges the life she’s carrying. She loves it when he holds her belly, or when he talks to it—finally not too afraid of it.
Until a huge fight broke out—damned colors. A whole night she’d spent at Damita’s, who welcomed her amidst the confusion. Ekko was there first thing in the morning, asking how she slept, as if he hadn’t nearly destroyed their marriage by rejecting her sole idea for a pitch black baby room.
“I slept like a log.” She lies straight through her teeth, “What are husbands for, anyway? Just disagreeing with everything?” She hadn’t seen him this frustrated with her since she refused to get up to eat the other day. An amused frustration though, betrayed by the disbelieving smirk as he says, “Forgive me for not wanting our baby to stay in a colorless room.”
She begrudgingly slips into his arms when he opens them—cheeks heating when he kisses her head. As angry as she is, she wants to be held and wants to sass him without worrying about how he’d take it. “I can’t smell the paint fumes, you know.” She whispers, “They’ll make me nauseous.”
He chuckles softly, pressing another affectionate kiss to her hairline, “I can paint a mural… If you want to design it.” He could probably come up with much more beautiful designs, and they both know it. The suggestion was for her, really. To be involved with her baby’s life, to give them the mural they’re going to look at every morning.
Strawberry tarts were her saviour at month six—she loved them more than she loved Ekko. The treats he’d fetch from the outside world never provoked her curiosity. Not until he let it slip one day—her sister’s wife was the one baking all of it. She dropped the tart, brows furrowing, waiting for him to say it’s just a joke.
She owned the bakery he’s been frequenting, unbeknownst to him. In the end, she walked to the store with him—after a week of crying and trying to ignore her curiosity. The lady, Willow, was really normal. Looking at her through the window was enough, until they turned around to leave, and there was her sister, looking like she’d seen a ghost.
Jinx quietly slipped her hand into Ekko’s, as though asking if it’s real. He squeezed her hand, thumb firmly stroking over her knuckles. “Vi.” She whispered a greeting, much more childlike than she’d rehearsed in her mind time and time again. It wasn’t this grown up Violet she was expecting to meet again.
Her sister stood frozen for what felt like ages, before stumbling forwards, hands on each of their shoulders. A teenage Violet had crushing hugs, and still does—took them both into a trembling embrace. She couldn’t bite back her tears as they walked into the small bakery after, wiping them on the hood of her coat.
It was the most awkward moment of their lives—Violet took one seat of the booth, with her and Ekko across. She held the warm mug of coffee between her trembling hands, exhaling softly when his reassuring palm firmly landed on her thigh. “So you’re married, huh?” Jinx whispers, glancing at the lady pretending to work, attention clearly with them.
“We’ve been married for five years now.” Vi softly says, fidgeting with the ring she wears around her neck. “So have I…” Jinx blinks absentmindedly, holding Ekko’s hand underneath the table. Feeling for the cool metal he wears around his finger—the ring she’d made him when they eloped.
“You’re married?” Vi’s brows furrow, eyes widening sadly, “Who is he? O-Or she?” Jinx’s lips wobble, a fresh set of tears stinging her eyes—the pregnancy hormones haven’t been very kind to her. “We’re married, Vi.” Ekko softly speaks when the words die out in her throat. The last time she’s seen her sis cry so hard was when Vander died again.
The wife is by her side in a second, voice as sweet as honey, apologizing for her wife’s sentimentality. Jinx sobs too, hand on her belly, chest rising and falling irregularly, hics growing louder when Ekko wipes her cheeks. Vi only went silent as her gaze dropped to Jinx’s hand—firmly resting at the top of the melon resting on her body.
It wasn’t pretty, and it was very snotty, but she went back home with tarts, a warm hug from her sister, and a promise to visit soon. She’d told Ekko plenty of times; that he’s the only family she needs. And while it’s true, it doesn’t mean Vi’s any less important to her. Even when she’s going to be a mother soon, she still wants her sister as badly as she did when she was a kid.
“What do you want the baby to be like?” She asks him with a sweet smile, stroking the back of his head as he rests his cheek on her belly. Everything has been about her so far—and how hard of a time she’s had with this change. Hadn’t even factored in how he must feel about how different everything will be for him.
“I hope it looks like you.” He hums softly, “Maybe not so loud when it cries…” She giggles, and the baby giggles with her, little foot pushing against her insides. “Oh!” Ekko excitedly presses his cheek firmer, “I felt a kick.”
He talks to the baby a lot, even when he thinks she’s sleeping. And it almost makes her feel guilty, that he wasn’t showing his excitement before because she wasn’t too fond of the baby. But she made him a ‘daddy’ mug as a secret apology, telling her baby that her daddy was the best husband ever—right in front of him.
The baby was a girl, Jinx had decided one day, and couldn’t stop referring to it as her. When it was time to make clothes for the kid, she requested the ladies sew tutus for her baby girl. And when the mural was finally complete, Jinx decided there was one finishing touch—the baby’s name.
“What do you wanna call her?” Ekko indulges her fantasy of a baby girl, giving her another back massage for all the back pain that she suffers through. “Something wild.” She squeezes her eyes shut, “It’s my baby… She has to have a cool name like me.”
Sleeping feels like hell on earth—she becomes too sweaty, and her nose itches for whatever reason. Besides her back hurting like a sucker, her belly is too wide now. Ekko always loved drawing her, and now, her belly. While she hated the reminder of her pregnancy at first—flipping through how he’d captured each stage fills her with serenity.
Some comments were sprawled underneath each page of his sketchbook. One of her stretching with one hand on her belly, eyes shut in sleep, with only one word—adorable. “Do you ever think about how you got me pregnant?” Jinx asks boldly, hand on her hips. “You don’t seem too proud of yourself.” If it was her skepticism about the pregnancy that put him off it, then she asks that he compliments her belly.
Her dirty talk recently consists of reminding him of how pregnant he’d gotten her—and it seems to work wonders. It also helps her sleep, having no energy to be discomforted away from a heavenly nap. It’s something they won’t get to do in just a couple of months, so she’s been indulging it more and more, fearing she’d miss it.
Their baby had a ton of hand me downs—along with her very own blanket Willow had sent with Vi. It was put in the crib, awaiting the day Luna made it into her tiny nursery—Ekko suggested the name, and it just stuck with them. He was over the moon with joy when she liked the name, kissing her with a dizzying intensity.
Perhaps she ate too much at the beginning of her pregnancy, because now it just makes her feel full too quickly—as the baby takes up more space. It was a struggle to find food that didn’t feel like swallowing ashes. Her sister was somewhat helpful—bringing in the jelly sweets her wife makes. But Ekko had outdone himself, really; refusing to eat what she can’t, so she wouldn’t feel so alone.
Soups and fruits had kept her satisfied and full—and kept him miserable and hungry. But if she couldn’t swallow bread, or have cereal, he insisted he wouldn’t enjoy it either. Seeing him suffer was by far the most validating thing he could’ve done for her, because it means he wants to understand how differently she functions now.
She wants to be able to do everything the same, but she can’t—he knows how badly she despises that, so he tries to shoulder the pregnancy problems, even when he technically can’t. One morning, he’d fussed over how adorable she is, as she waddled into the nursery clad in his shirt that rides above her belly. She felt loved.
The next morning, she cried her eyes out from how swollen her ankles were—the skin pulled painfully, and she could barely fit her boots on. And then, she felt like the universe hated her. Ekko rubbed her feet until it didn’t hurt as much, and insisted he help her put her shoes on from now on. It was only after a couple hours of complaining to him about her pains did she realise how guilt ridden he looked.
And when she asked about that, he just whispered, “I can’t stand to see you like this… What will happen in the birth?” It wasn’t her problem to think about, really. She napped in his lap for most of the day, while he read those dusty and huge pregnancy books. Even got her to try out birthing positions, and tried to prepare her to expect the pain, but it clearly wasn’t as descriptive as it should’ve been.
Her labour was a whole month early. Panicked, she begged the midwife to schedule it later—but she only looked at her apologetically, asking her to be prepared to meet her baby tonight. The labor was excruciating, and she couldn’t really stand to look at the midwife or Damita’s face, only Ekko’s. When he spoke softly to her, it’s all she could listen to.
He helped her walk around, stretch, gave her endless speeches that only served to motivate her. And when it was time to push, she shoved all of their hands off her, getting steady on her knees and screaming her lungs out. But it passed by quickly, and she can’t remember much after she heard the joyous, ‘it’s a girl’.
Just Ekko’s strong arms holding her, stopping her from toppling over. The pain didn’t really stop, she still felt the sting for the most part. She collapsed onto her back with his help, and the baby was gently pulled to her chest. Jinx blinked through her tears a few times, too out of it to notice her baby.
Only that she was someone’s love at the moment, and that she was slipping. His tears hit her in the face. Soft praises filling up her senses, and a little blue head shifting on her chest—her cries piercing the ringing in her ears. “You did it, sweetheart.” Ekko murmurs against her forehead, pressing a shaky kiss. “Luna’s here.” She brings her hands up to the slimy thing on her chest, patting her—telling her not to cry, that her mommy is here.
It wasn’t the baby crying, it was her. She only realised when Ekko’s thumbs wiped off the tears streaming down her cheeks—like the thousands of times he’s done before. “I had the baby.” She whines, exhaling sharply when another sharp sting shoots through her. “You did.” Ekko’s warm hand falls atop hers, sheltering their newborn, “You’re perfect, you hear?”
The first week felt like the devil made her body a playground. Her legs were shaky—loins on fire, bleeding too much blood for it to be normal. The baby cried and cried. Ekko would stay up with her, but he can’t—Jinx had to be the one feeding it. With a baby latched on her boob, Jinx snuggled against Ekko, shutting her eyes for a moment of peace.
He held her, and held the baby. He brushed her hair, and fed her all her food. Even helped her on and off the toilet—something she was too prideful to ask for in pregnancy. But he never made her feel anything less than capable. So why was she feeling so… strange?
Jinx didn’t want any visitors—only Ekko could see her like this. The baby would go quiet when she held it, much to her dismay. She wanted to sleep properly. Her husband held the baby on his chest, and her right next to it, close enough for it to stay quiet. And warm enough for Jinx to not lose her shit.
Any time spent without a baby sucking on her chest, she spent it sleeping or on Ekko. Now more than ever, she needed to be embraced. The stomach bindings were the only thing keeping her insides from spilling all over the floor—and she had fun wrapping them tighter after her daily showers.
Another shocking fact about Ekko, is that apparently Jinx was never going to be on diaper duty. Had changed a couple diapers in that one week, maybe. “You birthed the brat.” Ekko whispers to her, “The least I can do is take on diaper duty.” It was the first thing that made her smile after such terrible days.
And then when she noticed the chocolate brown eyes she fell in love with, she smiled again. Luna had her hair and his eyes. “I don’t know how I could’ve done this without you.” She mumbles, wrapping her arms around his waist, face pressed into his chest. Without his hands, his smile, calm words, softness—how would she have pulled through?
“We made this baby.” Jinx whispers, in reluctant awe, as Luna holds onto her finger, “Isn’t she so tiny?” He pokes her tiny foot—the pad of his finger as big as half of it. “You did a great job, my love.” He says, seriously, eyes softening as he takes in their little baby, “She’s perfect.” Jinx presses her cheek against his shoulder, a smile spreading on her face. “My two perfect girls.” Ekko proudly says, pecking her forehead.
Opening the window for a soft breeze had become her anchor. Taking deep breaths with the wind each time she got sick of the baby’s cries. Eating her food by the windowsill, watching the tree’s branches bend with the wind from their room, while Ekko stays with Luna in the nursery. She wants to give him a break, but she’s exhausted in all the ways she can think of.
“The shimmer surgery was more painful.” She tells Ekko, popping another candy into her mouth, “But it was shorter.” Discussing her pain made her own it, instead of the other way around. For their own good, she ignores the grimaces he makes, and how concerned he looks every time she adds to her words.
“Popping a baby out felt like I was pooping a rock.” She says through a laugh, then quieter as she gasps, “What if I birth my organs…?” She does feel a lot better, one month in. The bleeding is a lot less, and she can take longer showers now—Luna sleeps a tiny bit longer, and Ekko’s gotten good at keeping her quiet.
They were going to have lunch with the others for the first time. Just an hour or so. But it didn’t stop her from putting on a nice outfit, and letting Ekko brush her hair with more care than she would’ve. There’s always the risk that Luna would barf all over her, but she would rather not indulge the idea. Her own daughter wouldn’t do that to her, right?
Jinx couldn’t stand everyone’s eyes on her when she sat down with her girlfriends. “What?” She rolls her eyes, baby cradled to her chest. “Cute baby.” Maeve says, pointing at her with a fork, “And cute mommy.” She fights the grin off, but succumbs once she realises there’s no point. “She’s sleeping right now.” Jinx hums, stroking her little back, “Or she would scream at the sight of you losers.”
“How do you feel?” She asks her more seriously, and the attention quietly settles on Jinx. “I feel…” She softly exhales, thumb brushing the soft blue hair on her daughter’s head, “I feel weird. I mean, jeez… I’m a mom.”
She realised she loved her little blue daughter with all her heart when she couldn’t get enough of snuggling her. Such a tiny baby, with the cutest button nose. Jinx was increasingly fond of her baby—when she’s happy, her eyes go as wide as a bunny’s. Ekko adored their little baby, nothing had changed, besides how fond he looks at the two of them now.
When he thinks she isn’t noticing, or when she’s cooing with Luna, he smiles to himself, basking in the sudden joy she’s experiencing. She still craved to be held, just as much as she wanted to hold and protect her baby. So she worked around it, crawling into his lap while the baby napped—told him she loved him for the very first time after the birth.
Their daughter turned four months old in the blink of an eye—and she was just the most adorable baby ever. She could snuggle her more freely now, without being afraid of choking her, or hurting her. Ekko was into making her laugh, babbling silly things to their baby, which just resulted in Jinx falling in love with him all over again.
When she was a baby, Jinx couldn’t really make many mistakes. Ekko was constantly there, so it happened that her every move was watched. But now that Luna is old enough, they split up sometimes—leaving her with her baby, alone. It sets her off, sometimes. An irrational fear filling up her chest, like she could ruin this perfect baby.
Violet indulged her curious baby, holding her hand and smiling when she did. But mostly, she eyes Jinx like she was the baby—which almost makes her bawl. To her older sis, she was still young, not old enough to not be a child, let alone have one. It felt nice to be someone’s little something—just like Luna is her tiny something.
Her daughter was just like Ekko, fortunately. She’s a gentle rebel, even if Ekko insists that she’s secretly mischievous like Jinx. She still doesn’t sleep, still hates the insistent crying, but at least, her baby is adorable when she isn’t all pouty—something she no doubt inherited from Jinx. If it wasn’t for feedings, Ekko dealt with it quietly, never waking Jinx up—even if she does actually wake up from her daughter screeching.
Jinx and her husband used Luna’s down time to talk. She lays on the bed, hair loose, softly murmuring, flirting with him like they were twenty years old again. He was into it, smirking as he pulled her into a heated kiss, touching her like she was twenty again—unflinching from whatever changed down below. Only she got to feel good that day, as a precaution, he said.
Luna giggled until she hiccuped the first time her parents danced in front of her—an impromptu slow dance. With both of them stumbling in the half lit room, kissing like they’d just learnt how to. Kissing was funny to Luna—but so was everything with a sound. If Ekko scratched her back, making a light sound, their baby would be delighted.
Jinx’s episodes were her ultimate fear. It was deadly silent after the birth, like her mind had gone completely numb. They would frequent her after, but it was manageable. Put Luna down in her crib, and walk away. She trusted Ekko enough to go after whoever needed him more at the moment—fortunately for her, it was always Jinx that did.
He was exhausted too, very clearly so. It was her pleasure to hold him some nights when he needed attention, and other nights when he needed other things. There’s no way she would be this intact if he didn’t take on the brunt of the labor with their daughter—waking up at dawn when their baby decided it would be the start of her morning.
Waking Jinx up in time for breakfast—both hers and Luna’s. And then taking a nap in the afternoon while Jinx dawdles with her baby, binding her to her chest and taking walks, so he could rest properly. Their early evenings before Luna went to sleep for the final time were the sweetest, they’d talk to each other in soft voices, hoping she’d pick up a word or two—like ‘electromagnetism’ or ‘gravitational force’.
Luna’s bedtime was her favourite part of the day. Her baby’s lashes flutter, and she snored softly, quietly drifting to sleep for–hopefully–a few hours. It was when Jinx got to visit their workshop, finally able to drown herself into the soft lull of machines and tools clinking. She’d be back to feed Luna, and rock her to sleep.
She crawls into bed with Ekko, six months after she’d given birth, with a lacy set underneath her shabby sweats. It was the first time she’d looked in the mirror and felt like she was the same person she used to be—confident in her own skin. It was exactly what they needed after so long, holding each other close, letting loose and having fun.
‘Luna’ had left her a bouquet of flowers one day. Somehow, their daughter knew exactly what type and color of flowers she preferred. Jinx wondered when he had time to get it for her, leaving her all the more happy with it. She showed it off to Luna when she went to feed her. “Look at the flowers your daddy got me.” She cooes, dancing silly with the flowers in her hands, a ridiculously overjoyed smile splayed on her lips.
“My fiery offspring.” She smiles, hooking her arms around her baby, lifting her up from the crib, “Don’t follow the cuckoo legacy.” She kisses her little nose, inhaling that soft baby scent she loves so much. “Your dad had you with a crazy gal…” She murmurs, “So I suppose you’ll be fine if you’re like me.” Jinx presses smothering kisses to her full check, chuckling when Luna giggles. “We love you so so much, baby.”
At dinner, Ekko would hold Luna, dealing with her kicks and fussing—as their poor baby salivates, wishing she could have some of the food they’re having. But Jinx could care less, this baby had her forced into a poor diet for months. “Do ya like the meal?” She asks Ekko, shooting her seven month old baby a smug look, only making him chuckle.
“She adores you.” Ekko whispers one day, as Luna lay fast asleep on Jinx’s chest, baby fingers clutching onto her top—couldn’t get her grasp to loosen, and so, she had to stay napping on her. “I’m her milk source, she better adore me.” Jinx scoffs, stroking her sleepyhead’s back.
“You’re a good mom.” Ekko strokes his silly girl’s head, cupping her cheek as his gaze softens, “No wonder she can’t get enough of you.” As much as she wants to deny it, she can’t. She loves her baby, she loves showing it to her daughter, and more than that, he allowed her to. “It’s all thanks to you, really.” She murmurs, patting Luna’s tushy as she lightly stirs, “You’ve made this so easy for me.”
“She likes your wife.” Jinx tells Vi bluntly, “Bring her over next time.” All the while, Luna joins her efforts by tap dancing on Vi’s lap, like a rabid horse. “She’s never even met her…?” Stupid Violet smiles at the baby, ignoring Jinx’s urgent and extremely obvious request. “Exactly!” Jinx rolls her eyes, does she not see the problem here? Ekko scoffs, “She wants to see your wife again, Vi.”
Luna was a happy baby—maybe because she had happy parents. Jinx hopes that it’s because they’ve done something right, that maybe their affection for each other raises her into a well loved daughter. Their baby was growing, and resembling Jinx more as time passed, much to Ekko’s satisfaction.
They continued to dance whenever they were overwhelmed—taking it as slow or as fast as they wanted. Sometimes breaking into a slow dance just because they felt like they made it out stronger, more attached, with more proof of their love.
Ekko took their little berry for tours of the base whenever Jinx needed time to herself, distracting her with the firelight children, or whatever new toy he could borrow. And Jinx just chatted to their daughter for as long as she wanted, letting Ekko take the time off that he never asks for. Parenting isn’t so hard when they have each other in mind—and it certainly isn’t so hard when their daughter is as cute as a button, even if she’s extremely fussy constantly.
“Who’s your favorite?” Jinx teasingly demands to know, with Luna on her hip. She wore a little skirt… And Luna wore a tutu. “Don’t tell your mommy…” Ekko leans in to whisper to their daughter’s head, “But she’s a real hottie… with silly questions.” The silly question was indeed silly, but it got her a compliment that she’d been looking for, and the attention mommy wanted.
Playing with Luna’s toys often turned into Jinx and Ekko trying to outdo each other—who can come up with a more interesting arrangement of cubes, or who can come up with the most ridiculous name for her stuffed animals. “Kitten whiskers.” Made Luna barf, so they picked it for the name of her favourite stuffed toy.
“I’m glad to have you back.” He murmurs on a sunny day, slipping his fingers into hers. The fresh grass smell pierces her senses, tickling her skin as she rolls over to him, “I haven’t left.” Though, she’s glad to have had him all along—that fatherhood didn’t make him drop dead or panic. Maybe if she wasn’t the one giving birth, she would’ve been helpful, wouldn’t have taken so goddamn long to heal or get over it.
“There was a moment where I regretted having her, you know…” He glances at Luna, with a really guilty look, no hint of a reassuring smile on his face. “What do ya mean?” Jinx promptly gets up on her elbows, scooting to loom over him as he lay on the grass, “You were excited for the baby.”
Luna plays with the grass like it’s her property, tearing it out from the roots and throwing it with a too focused expression. “I was,” He confesses, hand slowly moving up and down her waist, “Until you went too quiet, and I-I thought that this was it. The moment you were afraid of… that I promised you wouldn’t happen.”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier, mister?” The edge of her lips curve into a hesitant smile, “I could’ve picked up some slack too.” Their daughter crawls like a little bunny once she remembers her parents existed, and her head thunks against Ekko’s chest, slobbering up the nice shirt. “Hi, baby.” He whispers gently, other arm wrapping around her.
She lowers herself, head on his chest too, like she’d done millions of times—except this time, she was sharing him with their baby. “Because my wife deserved to heal for as long as she needed.” He whispers again, quiet fondness in his gaze, “She went through hell to bring you here, brat.”
Luna’s too excited fist bumps into everything in her range, kicking her legs like the rebellious kid Jinx promised she’d be. “I love this baby.” Jinx sighs contently, booping Luna’s nose. Until she starts screaming and crying, she is the world’s most perfect baby. “You, my fiery offspring, will be dearly loved forever, I promise.”
She won’t grow up wondering why everyone leaves—nor will she grow up begging for scraps of attention. Some part of her used to wonder if her parents loved her this way, too. They had Violet and chose to have another kid, so it can’t have been that bad. “You’re the best boy ever, husband.” Jinx jokes, eyes heavy with near sleep. “And you’re just the worst.” He fondly bites back, fingers drawing small lines down her spine.
“Heh.”
Peace used to sound like a whole lot of nothing to her—like silence was the epitome of tranquility. But now, she knows better; it sounds like her rowdy toddler and handsome husband trying to build a bubble machine. It sounds like the stupid kisses she gives both of them, or the piercing shrieks of Luna whenever her parents hug for too long, demanding to be included. Nobody’s ever wanted or needed her as badly as those two, and now, her little wild family is where she belongs—With a kicking toddler on her hip, her machines whirring in the distance, and Ekko as he is.