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It was almost Halloween when Conrad showed up to Belly’s door with a candy bouquet, a hope, and a dream. It had been months since Belly decided to press pause on their relationship before it even started at the end of Summer.
Conrad drove 4 ½ hours to Philadelphia from Brown University where he was attending college.
They had been talking on the phone for a little over a month and even though they were supposed to be on “pause”, their feelings were only getting stronger.
“Belly, I don’t think I could ever get over you. I mean, I’m not. I’m here.” The nerves catch in his voice. “Whenever I talk to you, I’m just happy. And I gotta say, standing in front of you right now, it’s torture not being able to kiss you.” His voice was soft.
He stood still, holding his breath waiting for a response. With little hesitation, Belly leaped towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. They pull away, both smiling from ear to ear before going back in for more.
There was a chill in the air this October night. It was already dark by the time Conrad arrived and Belly had answered the door without a coat, not realizing who would be on the other side. Belly tends to be cold-natured. You would think her body ran 50 degrees year round.
Conrad pulled away from the kiss “Belly, you’re shivering,” he said, concerned, rubbing her arms with his hands to create friction.
“No, no, I’m okay. It’s not even that cold,” Belly says. A bold-faced lie. Her skin could feel like ice, her lips blue, and she would never admit she was actually cold.
“I, um, I should probably go. I just showed up here unannounced. It’s late and I have you standing out here in the cold,” he said, unable to actually meet Belly’s eyes. He didn’t expect to stay, but he certainly wasn’t ready to leave her. Not when he was finally standing in front of her. Able to touch her, kiss her, the way he’s wanted to for months.
“Come inside,” Belly says. Astatement, not a question.
“I don’t know, Belly. Laurel will probably kill me for showing up this late.” Conrad was half teasing, half actually fearing Laurel would kill him for showing up this late.
“Oh, please,” Belly scoffs. “My mother loves you. You might even be her favorite of the four of us.” She lightly nudges him with her elbow.
“No way! You’re totally both of our moms' favorite person ever.” Conrad grabbed her waist and pulled her in for a kiss. “Mine too,” he said, softly. “God Belly,” his voice grew. “You’re still shivering.”
“Then come inside where it's warm,” Belly insisted, pulling him into her.
“Okay, but if Laurel kills me, you better play Black by Pearl Jam at my funeral.” Belly steps back, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the door.
“I remember when you played that song for me.” Belly giggled as she opens the door and steps inside the house. She looks back at Conrad. “Shh.”
“I'm being quiet,” Conrad whispers.
They creep in quietly, trying not to be too loud. It didn’t work for all the giggling and snickering they were doing while taking their shoes off at the door.
Laurel, who was sitting at the table on her laptop, looked up almost immediately.
“Conrad, what are you doing here this late?” She asked.
“Um, hi. Hey Laurel. I, uh, just visiting. I brought Belly some Halloween candy.” Conrad was so nervous, his voice was shaky.
“You drove over 4 hours to bring Belly candy?” Laurel asks.
“Yes?” Conrad answered with a question.
Conrad and Belly look at each other. He felt awkward. Like he was a kid who just got caught in the kitchen at 4am eating all of the cookies from the cookie jar.
“Mhmm.” Laurel raises her eyebrows.
“Mom, we’re just going to go up to my room to talk. Don’t worry, the door will be open,” Belly says.
“Yes, the door WILL be open,” Laurel insisted. “And Conrad. I don’t want you driving back late tonight, but you will not be staying in Belly’s room all night, understood?”
“Yes, of course, Laurel. Thank you for letting me crash here. In the guest bedroom, of course.” Conrad was grateful he wouldn’t have to drive all the way back late at night.
“Let’s go!” Belly grabs Conrad’s hand and leads him up the stairs.
“I’m coming, I’m coming. You’re gonna make me trip.” He stumbles up the stairs, laughing.
Laurel shakes her head and smiles.
Upstairs, Belly and Conrad enter her room. Belly hops onto her bed in the corner of the room. String lights line the wall above it filled with pictures of her with Taylor, her family, friends in Philadelphia, in Cousins with the Fishers. Her happiest moments on display. Conrad walks over and sits in the chair at her desk. He’s nervous and careful not to touch anything. Belly has gotten comfortable on her bed, her back against the headboard.
“Why are you all the way over there?”
“Oh, I–uh–you know the whole Laurel murdering me thing.” His mouth curved into a smile.
“I think it will be okay for you to sit on the bed. Come over here.” Belly pats the space on the bed beside her.
Conrad gets up and walks over. He sits on the bed. Stiff. Feet on the floor. He turns to look at her. A small, nervous smile crosses his lips.
“You can get a little more comfortable than that,” Belly says, the corner of her mouth lifting as she teases him.
Conrad shifted his body, he lifted one leg onto the bed, knee bent, the other still on the floor. He’s now facing Belly. That was the most she was going to get right now as he was extremely nervous being in her room alone with her and Laurel just downstairs. He was careful about every move he made.
Conrad looks around the room. “It’s so interesting being in your room in Philly, in October. I’m so used to the Belly in Summer, in Cousins. It’s cool to see more of your life here. I know we’ve talked about it a lot on the phone, but being here, it’s nice seeing Belly in Fall.” He smiled, his eyes finally meeting hers.
“You know, I used to imagine what you looked like in Fall and Winter. It really is kind of wild how you can know someone your whole life, but only know them in one season.”
“Well, here I am! Is it what you pictured?” Conrad stands up and does a twirl before sitting back down on the bed.
Belly cackled. “Even better.” Her eyes beamed. She leans over to kiss him.
Conrad began to feel more comfortable and repositioned himself onto his side, one elbow propped to hold himself up, facing Belly, his other arm draped across her legs, his hand on her hip. His touch sent a visible chill up her spine. She closed her eyes and took a sharp breath.
Conrad noticed. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah, of course.” Belly wasn’t as nervous as he was, but her heart was pounding. Being with Conrad is all she’s ever wanted and here he was. At her house. Not with Susannah visiting Laurel, not to see Steven. He was there for her. Only her. In her bedroom. On her bed. His arms draped across her. His hand still resting on her hip. Her body felt warm.
His voice interrupted her thoughts. “So,” Conrad’s finger had found its way to Belly’s bare skin. Without even thinking about it, he was tracing the infinity symbol along her skin. “Does this mean we’re unpaused?”
“Is that what you want?” Belly asks.
“It’s what I’ve always wanted.” Conrad sits up on the bed in front of Belly, grabbing her hands. “I told you. You’re it for me, Belly.” He lifts her hand to his lips and gently kisses it.
She blushes. “Then yes, we’re unpaused.” Belly smiles, then her eyes drop. “Conrad, I hope you know, there was never a second I didn’t want to be with you. I just didn’t want to hurt anyone.”
“I know, Belly.” His voice is soft, a bit shaky. “I know I wasn’t at my best over the summer. I’m sure I didn’t give you the confidence to feel comfortable starting something with me. I knew I wanted to be with you, I was just hurting, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone either. Especially you. I know now that by trying to distance myself to not hurt you, I ended up hurting you anyway, and I’m really, really sorry for that.”
“Conrad, I can’t even imagine what you were going through. Holding that all inside. Trying to respect your mom’s wishes for no one to know. Feeling helpless.” She grabs his hand. “Things are better now, right?”
“Yeah. They’re great! My mom is doing the trial. Jere and I are okay. I’m here with you.” His smiled reached his eyes. “So, it's official?”
“It's official.”
“Isabel Conklin is my girlfriend.”
“Conrad Fisher is my boyfriend.”
Conrad’s smile widened. His eyes locked on Belly's. He brushes his hand through her hair, stopping at the base of her neck and pulling her in for a kiss. Tender, passionate. Months of yearning culminating as their lips collide.
They finally come up for air. The tension in the room was thick. They needed to cool things off before one thing led to another. Belly decided to lighten the moment.
“So, it was torture huh? Not being able to kiss me?" Belly could barely gets the words out without giggling.
“Shut uppp!” Conrad gave Belly a playful shove. She topples over on the bed, unable to contain her laugh.
Belly repositions herself and lays her head on Conrad's chest. She lays there for a solid 5 minutes feeling his chest rise and fall with every breath. His heart beating in his chest, faster than what she thought would be normal. It felt like a dream, but he was real.
“Conrad, I'm so glad you're here,” she says, drifting off to sleep.
“Me too.” He looks down and smiles softly as he notices she's falling asleep. “I should probably get to the guest bedroom.”
Belly, half asleep, says “Just a few more minutes?”
“Okay, a few more minutes,” Conrad says before kissing Belly on her forehead and resting his head on hers.
About 20 minutes later, Laurel walks up to Belly's bedroom. Belly and Conrad are in her bed, sleeping. Wrapped around each other. Clothes on. On top of the covers. They looked so peaceful and innocent, she actually didn't bother them.
They slept, cuddled together like that all night.