Work Text:
When Enjolras walked into the cafe a strange sight met his eyes. His friends were seated at two tables. Each table was covered with papers, and they were engaged in a lively debate. At first he thought that they were planning for the revolution, but that made little since, as Grantaire was actively involved in the conversation.
"Intelligence and wit, that's what's most important," Grantaire said.
"Says the artist," Feuilly said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Grantaire said.
"You say beauty isn't important, when your living depicting it," Feuilly said.
"We're getting off track here, gentlemen," Combeferre said, "besides a sweet disposition is more essential." He, Feuilly, Jehan, and Joly were seated at one table. Jehan was flipping through the pages of a book. Perhaps Joly and Jehan's presence in the group explained why their table had hastily made sign that read: Team J.
What Enjolras couldn't work out was why Grantaire, Courfeyrac, Bahorel, and Bossuet had a sign that said: Team E. So deeply engaged in debate were his friends that they had failed to notice his arrival. He cleared his throat.
"Enjolras," Courfeyrac said, "So glad you could join us. Tell them they're crazy."
"Don't ridiculous," Combeferre said, "He's our side."
"Why would he be on your side?" Bossuet said.
"Because he knows blondes are better," Joly said.
"For the last time," Grantaire said, "There is no mention of hair color in the book."
"It's in here," Jehan said, "I'm sure of it."
"What is going on here?" Enjolras asked.
"Well. . ." Feuilly said.
"Jehan was reading this book," Joly said.
"And we've all read it before," Combeferre said.
"Which lead to a discussion of the characters," Grantaire said.
"And which is most appealing," Courfeyrac said. The way Courfeyrac said appealing made it clear to Enjolras that they were discussing sex. He shuddered to think about what sort of books his friends had been reading.
Enjolras glanced at the title of the volume in Jehan's hand.
"You're arguing over who's a better lover in Pride and Prejudice?!" Enjolras said.
"Yes," Bossuet said, "could you settle it for us?"
They were all looking at him expectantly.
"Clearly," he said, "the answer is Mr. Darcy."
Enjolras knew he had erred almost immediately. Joly choked on his drink. Jehan smiled at him. Courfeyrac snorted.
"That settles it," laughed Grantaire.
Enjolras tried to understand what he'd said that was so funny.
"We were discussing Jane and Elizabeth," Combeferre said gently.
At same time Bahorel said, "Darcy!? Who'd want Darcy when Bingley's clearly the better choice?"