Work Text:
The snow is falling heavy this year.
Snowflakes floating down in the moonlight dot the windshield’s surface, only to melt against the car’s radiating heat or instantly be swept away by the automatic windshield wiper. The endless rows of streetlights lining the streets illuminate the dense snowfall in their white light that would otherwise go missed in the surrounding darkness of night.
Eventually rolling to a stop at the traffic light’s distant red glow allows just enough time for a brief respite.
Rui reaches for his phone tucked away in the dark, somewhere next to his messenger bag on the empty passenger seat. One tap on the screen and the phone’s bright white light caused him to instinctively squint, just before the automatic screen brightness recognized the darkness of the car’s interior and immediately dimmed. The displayed time is half past two, no alerts or notifications in the time he had been driving. Rui lets out an exhausted sigh and releases the phone back down in its prior spot.
Rui hadn't expected to come back so early from his business trip. What typically tends to be the lengthy end of the year debriefing for both the Nagoya and Tokyo branches of the Otowa Detective Agency actually ended up being shorter than previous years’ meetings.
He had made the decision that he would stay at Tokyo for at least another day seeing as he had already made his way over there. Besides, the drive back to Nagoya was by no means short, especially not in this snow that had been steadily falling since early morning. Rui had anticipated on assisting his father and Asada at the Tokyo office, cleaning up and organizing any lingering case files before the office’s holiday break for the New Years.
The meeting and all following proceedings concluded around dusk. Rui had gotten ready to head back to his parents’ house just when his father stopped him and invited him for dinner at the Oriental. By the end of the meal, he was practically hurried out into the night by his father, stating it was getting late and that Rui was better off driving back home now before the snow began to stick. His father laughing and patting his back as he was leaving the bustling izakaya, insisting about how “his oldest son has his other family to worry about in Nagoya.”
A particularly loud squeak of the windshield wiper brought Rui’s mind back to the present. Remembering exactly where he was, he glances up to see the traffic light had turned green for however long it must've been since he fell deep into his thoughts. His fatigue from the drive is clearly starting to weigh his tired mind and body down.
At least the streets were seemingly completely devoid of other cars at this time. Nobody would be—or even should be—driving in this weather nor time of night. The world tucked away and warm in their own homes, fast asleep under the cover of the winter night.
At this very moment, it felt like Rui was the only person awake right now to witness this snow.
His distant thoughts naturally drift to Haruki at home. Haruki would definitely be in bed and asleep at this time, or at least Rui would hope he is. After more than a decade now of being well familiarized with his less than ideal health habits, chances are Haruki had most likely gone home exhausted after work and fallen straight to sleep… probably forgoing any dinner.
Rui feels his eyebrows immediately furrow at the thought as he flips the car signal, turning into the street where Haruki’s home awaits him. No matter how many times Rui could tell Haruki that he cannot skip a meal, especially with his current weight, it always results in the same scenario.
Haruki will always nod and agree with him at the moment and then skip his next meal, as if Rui hadn't said anything at all—be it either because Haruki had gotten busy, forgot, or simply lacked an appetite for food. Thinking back to it now, Rui remembers that he had even prepared cabbage salad and froze a portion of chicken cutlet, leaving them in the fridge before he had left for his business trip—in the case Haruki didn't have the energy to make his own meal.
Pulling up to the driveway, Rui could finally switch the car off after the long drive. The continuous hum of the car engine is cut off, leaving him in the sudden quiet of the night for a moment. There was no reason to remain in the car now as the lingering heating quickly fades away. He gathers his work bag and phone and pulls the car door open to step out into the cold, letting the outside’s sharp winds blow into the car and steal away the last of the car’s warmth.
The thick snow quietly floating down from the encompassing darkness wasted no time as it already began piling up on the car’s surface, dusting Rui’s surroundings into a sugary white landscape. Aside from the strong snowfall, this year’s winter feels much colder than last year’s, as well.
As the biting, frigid wind cuts against his face, the only thought on his mind is a hope that Haruki had remembered to bundle up warm in bed before falling asleep.
✧
Slowly closing the front door behind him to cushion any loud noises, Rui finally stepped inside the house’s entryway. Before the house’s comfortable heat could melt the lingering frost on his head, he lightly shook his thick hair to cast off any snowflakes that could've accumulated on the top of his head like powdered flour.
Had Haruki been awake right now, standing here watching him, he would've laughed and made some comment on how the marimo becomes a matcha mochi under the snow.
Rui’s body has already warmed up to the house’s lukewarm temperature as he removed his thick winter coat to hang on a vacant hook. He lightly tapped his shoes to knock the stubbornly packed snow down just before stepping out of them in exchange for his slippers. The entryway was empty of any other items, except for the other pair of shoes tossed off to the side—Haruki’s shoes.
They've known each other for so long now—more than half their lives—but Rui can’t help but wonder on occasion if Haruki ever gets lonely when Rui is away for his more extended business trips.
Haruki had shown no indication of it and isn't a stranger to living alone, but then again, Haruki is well accustomed to the feeling of loneliness all his life. Rui had plainly witnessed Haruki’s tendency to isolate firsthand with the worst of his moments during their school days.
The one time Rui had asked directly out of curiosity, Haruki brushed it off smiling, saying not to worry about him. That Rui worries about him enough already, that he should be able to go out and feel at ease without stressing over Haruki himself for once.
Haruki is free to call his behavior over-worrying, nagging or whatever else he wishes to come up with at the moment, but Rui cant help it. For what feels like his entire life, he cant help but think about Haruki.
The house was pitch dark, save for the abandoned small living room lamp left switched on and the nightlight glowing in the hall that served as a beacon in the middle of night. The steady tick of the wall clock above him continued through the silent darkness.
The faint orange light of the living room lamp casts a soft glow on the couch and low coffee table nearby, illuminating abandoned papers scattered across it’s surface along with a lone, used plate pushed far off to the side. At least, Haruki had remembered to eat something for dinner. He must've ate while in the middle of reviewing a case he had brought back home.
Rui lets out a sigh. No matter how much Haruki likes to complain about working or beg for a day off, hes always been diligent with this work… maybe even diligent to a fault in the cases where he loses track of time and works five hours overtime, resulting in him falling asleep in the empty office…
Without giving it further thought, Rui was already quietly moving to gather the disorganized papers into a clean, neat pile and carrying the discarded plate to the kitchen sink. He’ll do the dishes tomorrow morning when he wakes up, he thought to himself.
Softly, with little to no noise from his steps on the hardwood floor, Rui made his way past the hallway nightlight and over into the bedroom. He suddenly paused upon silently opening the bedroom door and placing his work bag down. The room was pitch black. The last thing he wanted to do was wake Haruki up while hes fast asleep but he couldn’t not change out of his suit. The alternative scenario of changing in the dark is more trouble than its worth, the chance of accidentally knocking into something and scaring Haruki awake isn't one he would be willing to take. Rui figured he could at least feel his way to the small lamp on his side of the bed.
Rui finally finds the lamp switch after fumbling around, switching it on to bathe the bedroom in a dim, golden light befitting the house’s warm temperature. Rui immediately looks over to the blonde hair peeking out midst the bed, illuminated by the lamp's glow. Haruki was awkwardly curled in on himself under the thick winter futon and sleeping peacefully. His head nearly slipping off the white pillow, burying his face under the layers of blankets below.
After a short pause, Haruki’s still shape showed no signs of waking up and Rui felt as thought he could finally relax his stiff body, he didn't even realize he was tense until this very moment.
He let out a quiet breath and peered over to get a closer look at Haruki, bringing his head closer. His pale white cheeks were dyed a gentle yellow by the light washing over him and the bed. Rui’s body, blocking out the pouring light, casts a long shadow stretching across Haruki’s face. He had to hold back the sudden urge to fix Haruki's poor sleep position, he was curled up nearly identical to a fox. Rui knows that if he was left hunched like that overnight, he would not be able to hear the end of Haruki’s sore neck or aching back in the morning.
As Rui moved closer, close enough to hear the sound of Haruki’s faint breathing, he felt a surge of love.
Otowa Rui’s affection for Atou Haruki could only be considered ambiguous for the longest time. As friends, as family, his love was like a sea where all feelings mixed together. Rui doesn’t know when it started but his love for Haruki had become romantic in nature, maybe it always has been from the start and he never realized. It wasn't until when Rui had received a call that Haruki was taken to the hospital following the explosion at the Heaven Imperial Research Institute.
Seeing Haruki quietly sleeping in the sterile white bed, surrounded by the stinging smell of disinfectant, the IV stuck in his skinny, pale arm peeking out of the hospital gown that was a size too big for his frame… Rui had spent the minutes, hours, days Haruki was missing in unable to sleep, swirling in despair and anger.
He might have never seen him again, and it would've been because Rui wasn't able to stop Haruki. Rui had fully expected to be boiling over with anger if he was ever to see Haruki again, but in that moment at the hospital, seeing Haruki alive, all he could feel was a deep relief wash over his mind and heart, as if it was doused in cold water.
That day, when he was finally able to hug Haruki tightly in his arms again, he realized what it felt like to be in love.
Watching Haruki sleep so calmly in front of his eyes moments exactly like this one where that same feeling of deep love comes back to melt his heart.
Rui steps back, finally giving himself the open space to exhale the air he had been unconsciously holding in. He didn’t want to tempt himself further, and it was best to not wake Haruki right now. Apparently, his thoughts of carefulness didn’t matter either way as just as Rui began to pull away at his tie, Haruki begun to stir from sleep as if on cue. He had been careful preventing any sounds as he shuffled around the room’s stillness. Certainly, the light cascading over the bed had woken him up.
“Rui…?”
Between dream and wake, Haruki’s sleepy words sounded as soft as ever to Rui’s ears. Haruki had begun to shift around half asleep in the futon, untangling his arm out from under the covers to instinctively shield his eyes from the bright lamp.
“Sorry, I woke you up. You can go back to sleep.”
Rui hopes he can calm Haruki back into his sleep before he could fully wake up. Maybe he’ll toss around in his half asleep state after confirming Rui's presence and promptly fall back asleep, as he usually does.
Haruki had other plans on his drowsy mind apparently as he silently pushes his weight up from the bed, moving the comforter off his body. Sluggishly, as if he was dragging his body out of a deep body of water, he managed to straighten his body upright after visibly fighting against his will to close his eyes and go back to sleep.
Rui forgot all about changing and quickly steps back over to the bedside next to Haruki. It wasn't anywhere near time to wake up. Haruki in his current languid state must've thought it was morning.
“Whats wrong, Haruki?”
“...Um, Rui...”
His thoughts came to a pause as he looked down at what exactly Haruki was curled up onto was revealed from under the warmth of the blanket, it was Rui’s pillow. Smothered from being held tightly and underneath Haruki’s torso.
Rui didn’t get a moment to before Haruki’s thin voice got his attention once more.
“Welcome home.”
With his eyes still closed with sleepiness, Haruki held his arms wide open towards Rui’s direction for a hug.
Rui moves in to accept his embrace with no further question. Haruki’s arms immediately wrap around Rui’s neck, burying his head in the crook of his neck, and lets his body weight fall into his arms. Haruki’s steady, humid breath touches his neck, leaving him with a ticklish feeling every inhale and exhale he takes.
Letting him fully lean into his chest, Rui cradles his body gently, tightly holding his back with his palms. A sigh of relief escapes Rui’s mouth. The feeling of his thin skin and bones under his pajama shirt radiates a pleasant warmth that seeps into his body through their intimate embrace. The remnant warmth that clung to him from the layers of blanket he was tucked under starts to fade, matching to the room’s comparatively slightly cooler temperature. Rui was already quietly stroking his back to help preserve his heat. Urged by the pampering gesture, Haruki’s body gradually relaxes under his touch and melts further into his arms.
“...I'm home.”
No other words follow the lull, Haruki had gone quiet.
Haruki’s exhausted body in Rui’s arms heavily weighs him down ever so slightly, all he could hear is the rhythmic beat of his heart and Haruki’s shallow breathing against his ear. Rui shifts his arms to take in all his weight as it presses down on him. He must have used up whatever energy he mustered up to welcome him home and then dozed right back to sleep in the comfortable hug.
Rui gives into the temptation with Haruki held peacefully in his arms and carefully moves his hand to Haruki’s head, running his fingers through his soft blonde hair as gently as possible. Again and again, repeating the monotonous combing motion.
The softness fills Rui’s heart with the same deep love he felt that one day seeing Haruki lying in the hospital bed, and the melting heat of the moment made Rui completely forget the delicate snow that blankets the outside world in a soft white.