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The school clock tower chimed, marking the start of curfew across Tracen Academy. While umas a trainers alike would be falling asleep right about now, I stood over the desk in my room, pondering over paperwork for different upcoming races. I know the doc had said that Creek should avoid racing for now, especially in the Classics; I had even given her the week off from training in hopes her condition might improve. But at the same time…
”Tracking down the cause… is your job, Trainer.”
The doctor’s words bounced around inside my head. If they couldn't figure out the issue, what hope did I possibly have? I had been Creek’s trainer for barely a year at this point, and her recent “circulation issues” only made themselves apparent in the lead-up to the Sumire Stakes. Now I was expected to diagnose the deeper issue AND find a solution? Talk about a tall order.
Amongst the paperwork in front of me was the entrance paperwork for a few different races. With the Satsuki Sho and Japanese Derby seemingly out of the question, I had opted to investigate some lesser races to keep Creek sharp, while hopefully not putting too much unnecessary stress on her.
The Principal Stakes are in May, so that could be a good race. Or the Wasurenagusa Sho in April if she wants to try and continue adhering to the Triple Crown schedule. But what if she wants something harder? The Aoba Sho and Kyoto Shimbun Hai fall along the same dates, but would that be pushing her too hard too soon?
Amongst the stacks of paperwork in front of me also lies a paper stamped with the Tracen Academy symbol; it’s an application to the student council to set up a scrimmage next month. While it might not have the dame stakes as a real race, it might still provide me with some sort of clue to her condition AND keep her in a more controlled environment if something were to happen…
I get pulled out of my thoughts by some very frantic knocking on the door. I don’t recall having any plans tonight, but I go to open the door regardless and see who could be banging on the door so late at-
Super Creek stands outside the door, looking more disheveled than I think I’ve ever seen her. She’s clearly been crying, if the red, puffy eyes and tear-stained streaks on her face are any indication. She also seems…tired. More so than usual. Her movements seem slow and there are bags under her eyes I’m certain weren't there when we spoke a few days ago. “Creek? It’s past curfew, is everything alright?”
She blinks her eyes for a moment, as if she wasnt expecting a response, and sniffles, wrapping me in a very tight hug. Guess she was crying more recently than I thought..
”I-I’m sorry Trainer… I just really needed to see you tonight. It’s been a few days since the doctors visit a-and I was so worried…”
I frowned. I always knew Creek was one to… pamper those close to her, for lack of a better description. But this kind of concern was new for me. I gently led her inside and sat her down on the couch. “Are you going to tell me why you needed to see me so badly? What could have had you so worried?”
”Well… Tamtam and Oguri had said they hadn’t seen you around campus at all today or yesterday, and I just got so worried something might have happened to you. I was looking for you all day before realizing you might have been here…”
I flinched just slightly at her words. If Tamamo and Oguri had noticed my absence, I really must have been lost in my work. Thinking about it, the last time I was outside was when I went to collect the paperwork from Rudolf that now lay scattered on my desk. That was… two days ago. Goddesses, had I actually not gone outside AT ALL since then? I sheepishly rubbed at the back of my neck. “I’m sorry for making you worry, Creek. I was just… a bit preoccupied thinking about our next move, is all. I know the doctor said to avoid the Classics, but I still wanted to keep you sharp in case we can take ok the Kikuka Sho in the fall.”
Creek seemed to perk up slightly at the mention of racing again. “Oh, trainer, you’re always thinking about me! I feel a bit silly now for being so worried about you. I’m sure we can discuss this in the morning, and you must be tired!” Creek shot up from the couch, suddenly seeming very fidgety. “I didn’t mean to disturb you, I’ll take my leave now!”
As Creek went for the door, I shot out to grab her by the wrist. She went rigid, slowly turning back to look at me. “Creek…whats wrong? I know I’ve only been your trainer for a year now but this seems really unlike you. Is everything alright?”
Creek smiled at me, though I could tell it was forced. “Y-yes, of course! Like I said, I was worried about you and-“
”I’ve seen you worried about me before races, Creek. But I’ve never seen you cry about it before. Please, tell me what is actually wrong? If I can help you, you know I will.”
“No, thats quite alright, trainer! I know you must be tired, so please just let me- ack!”
As Creek tried to wrestle free from my grip, she was wracked by a coughing fit, similar to how she appeared after the Sumire Stakes. I shot up, helping her to lay back down onto the couch as I ran to fetch her a glass of water. When I came back, the coughing had stopped, but she lay facing away from me, arms hugged around her body. She mumbled something under her breath. “Creek? You feeling better now?”
“I thought you were in the hospital.”
I froze in my tracks just shy of putting the water down. I slowly look up to her, her hands clenching the sleeves of her shirt tighter. “What..?”
“The reason I took so long to find you was because I was checking the infirmary and local hospitals first. It was Tamamo who told me I should check here instead. I resisted her at first, but she was quite insistent.” Creek stifles out a laugh that sounds more like a sob. “She practically had to drag me here to see you for myself.”
“I don’t understand though…what made you think I was even in the hospital to begin with? If this was some sort of prank…”
I feel anger start to swell up inside of me, but as Creek finally turns to meet my eyes that flame gets snuffed out immediately with the tears that are forming in her eyes. “No…it wasnt any sort of prank. I…” Creek takes a shuddering breath, seeming to decide whether she wants to continue or not, before speaking again. “I get these…thoughts. In my head, sometimes. I always imagine that someone I care about has been hurt, someway and somehow. Normally, its nothing! Just a papercut, or maybe a bump on the head. But the longer I go without seeing that person, the…the worse it tends to get.”
Forget falling to my feet. If my heart could drop out of my body, it would probably be bouncing around a mile below the surface by now. I reach out and gently place a hand on her shoulder. She turns from me, probably already anticipating my next question. “Creek…what did you THINK had happened to me?”
Another shuddering breath. I see a few tears blot the couch cushions, but I say nothing. I keep my hand rooted to her shoulder, letting her know I'm still there when she is ready. After a moment (and after wiping her eyes), she finally speaks. “I…I thought you had fallen from the window of your apartment. I figured it would be a broken bone, easy enough to fix. But then I imagined you in the hospital, and that there were complications with the fracture, that it would be infected if they didn’t operate and correct the break manually, and then I imagined that something went wrong in the surgery, and then-“
I gently but firmly turned Super Creek so she was facing me. The tears were flowing freely now, and even a mile deep in the dirt I felt my heart shatter into pieces. As part of the trainer courses, we had taken a basic health course on physical disabilities and mental illnesses, and I had a sneaking suspicion I knew what was causing her so much anguish. “Creek. Look at me. I am okay. My arm,” and I waved it for dramatic effect, which managed to elicit another strained chuckle, “is okay. My window is not open, and even if it was, the screen would still be there, and it would still be intact. Do you want to go and check for yourself?”
Creek gives me a timid nod, and I take her through every window in the apartment so she can see for herself they are all in working order. I even double check a the ones in my small living room, just for the extra assurance it grants her. As we sit back down on the couch, she sniffles a bit. “Gosh, I always feel so silly when this happens…I’m sorry for disturbing your night, trainer.”
“You have nothing to apologize for Creek. I’m happy to help you anytime this happens again in the future. You have my number; if you ever have these kinds of thoughts again, please call me, okay? And I’d be happy to help.”
“Oh no trainer, I could never ask that of yo-ack!” Once again, Creek starts to suffer a coughing fit. I slide the water I’d grabbed earlier towards her, and she grabbed, drinking almost all the water I had poured for her.
“Creek…have you ever been…TESTED for anything? This clearly isn’t the first time you’ve had these kinds of thoughts, right?” Creek sets down the glass, once again averting my gaze. Seems like I hit the nail on the head. “My family’s nursery was always quite successful, but most of the money we made was reinvested back into the children…my parents always had their suspicions, but we never had the money to get it properly diagnosed…”
Well. At least she has an idea of what might be wrong, then.“Creek, I’m sure the infirmary could do those tests for you, you know. And it would probably be for free! Or if not, you could probably convince the director to pay for it anyway…”
I managed to get another laugh out of Creek. But this time, it was a proper laugh. I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. “Yes, she probably would do that, wouldn’t she? She’s always been so kind…” Creek starts fiddling with her hands before turning to look at me. “Would…would you go with me? Tomorrow? I know I’m not the type to ask for this, but I think…I think I would feel better if I had you there with me.”
Seems like my heart found a shovel, because the way I feel it glowing in my chest means it must’ve found its way back to me at some point. I take one of Creek’s hands, and she looks at me expectantly. “I would like nothing more, Creek. We can go as soon as they open tomorrow, ok?”
We smile at each other, and Creek rises one final time to leave. But instead of going for the door, she stands, fidgeting with her hands Must be a nervous tick for her. Cute.
”I don’t mean to intrude further but…could I possibly spend the night here? It is after curfew, and I would hate to worry Kiseki-san if I came back after hours…”
I immediately feel my face heating up at the request. She wants to spend the night… here? I can feel my mind start to race, but as I see a blush grow on Creek’s face as well, I realize I’ve probably been silent a little TOO long. “O-of course you can! I think I have a spare futon in the closet, I can set it up out here for you if you’d like..?”
For a brief moment I see what looks like…disappointment? As it flashed through Creek’s eyes. Before I can comment on it, she says “Oh no, thats okay! I can set it up myself. You've already done more than enough for me tonight, Trainer.” “Okay, if you say so Creek. I’m always happy to help you, you know that, right?” I see her stifle another coughing fit, but only for a moment. “Yes, of course trainer. Now please, go get some sleep, okay? That will make me feel better than any help with a futon would.”
I sigh. I should know better than to think Creek would let me help her at this point…huh.
Strange. Every time she’s coughed tonight has been when I tried to offer her help. I wonder…
I shake the thought from my head. I feel as though I may have finally found a clue as to what the source of Creek’s issues may be, but for now she’s right. I’ve been reviewing papers, altering training regiments and pacing the room for… pretty much the whole day, actually. A bit of sleep would probably do us both some good. “Okay, Creek. I’ll see you in the morning then.” As I begin to walk to my room, I stop for a moment. “I overheard Tamamo and Oguri saying they were planning to do some stamina training at the pool tomorrow. I know I gave you the week off but… maybe you’d like to see them too?”
I can practically hear the smile on her face as she responds, “Yes, I think that would be wonderful. It has been a bit since I’ve seen Oguri… thank you, Trainer.”
The next day, the school psychiatrist confirms what we both expected: Creek does suffer from a mild form of OCD. Yet as she takes to the pool, swimming laps around both Oguri and Tamamo, the fatigue she had been showing in recents weeks has all but vanished. Yet when I try to speak with Creek about it later, the coughing fits return, and she once again reverts to the endearing, pampering uma I have come to know. If only there was a way for me to show her that she can rely on me more often…
Thankfully, Tamamo gives me that opportunity come summertime.