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One might say that Sirius was all bark and no bite – not Sirius, mind you, he would attest that he was all bite and all bark, but James would stand in the background, holding his sides as he struggled to breathe through his laughter. Once James had collected himself, he’d inform you that Sirius had once cried when he chipped a nail and then pull out his phone to show you the video of Sirius covered in sleeping squirrels (he wouldn’t explain though – cruel, cruel James). After the day of July 3rd, 2015 however, James would also always point to the evening of that day as the epitome of Sirius’ all bark and no bite demeanor.
It was a Friday evening, and Sirius, James, James’ wife Lily, James and Sirius’ childhood friend Peter, and Peter’s significant other Benjy were at a bar near Hackney Downs. It was WWE night. Peter and Sirius were really the only ones fond of the sport, but James was nothing if not supportive and so was Benjy – Lily was only there for the booze, and to watch the show of when Sirius always inevitably made a fool of himself but she enjoyed the sport more than James and Benjy did at least.
At that second, Benjy was regaling them of a tale of a hilarious story of something that had happened at work – Benjy was a drag queen, who also went by the name of Honey Boom Boom and who always seemed to have some hilarious tale to lighten up any social event. At that moment, a commercial played across the screens of the TVs hanging over the bars, and Sirius was sipping his pint, muttering something under his breath. James, who’d been listening with half an ear to Benjy’s story, looked over at his friend, cocking his head and raising an eyebrow.
“What’s the matter mate?” he asked, gently nudging Sirius’ shoulder. “You’re not betting again are you? You know you’re shit at betting.” Sirius glared up at him through the curtain of his long, dark hair – James just shot him a shit-eating grin in return before taking a sip of his own drink.
“No,” Sirius stressed, rolling his eyes, “I’m not betting again. That call–” Sirius motioned to the TV “–was just shit though.”
“Wrestling is shit,” spoke a man on the other side of Sirius. James’ eyes instantly snapped to him, taking him in – he was hunched over the bar but even then James could tell he was tall. Tall tall – James was over six feet but he had a feeling if the man stood up straight, he’d still have a few inches on the both of him. He was tall, definitely, but he wasn’t large – he was skinny and lanky, with long, gangling limbs. He had messy, light-colored hair and even in the darkness of the bar, James could tell that his eyes were two different colors. All of that combined with the jumper he was wearing screamed hipster. Sirius, who was small, slightly effeminate, and completely eccentric with his long hair and ‘punk’ clothing, however, did not seem to be jumping to the same conclusion.
“What the fuck are you going on about?!” he shouted, stepping away from the bar and squaring his shoulders and glaring at the man. James groaned under his breath, knowing he was probably going to have to hold his best mate back from doing something incredibly stupid.
“I’m going on about the fact that wrestling is absolute bullshit. I mean, the fact that it’s all scripted is public knowledge but the scripts are shit and the fights are fucking ridiculous,” the stranger responded.
“And what would you know about fighting, eh?” Sirius asked, looking him up and down. “You look like you run a fucking aesthetic tumblr blog.” Okay, so maybe Sirius had jumped to the same earlier conclusion. Of course the only time Sirius wasn’t working on a one track mind was the time someone insulted wrestling – basically Sirius’ religion.
The stranger smirked; “I promise you, I know a lot more about it than you do, fan-boy,” he replied. “Oh, and I’m curious, do you happen to run a Stucky blog?”
James sniggered; Sirius was absolute Stucky trash and he did indeed run a tumblr blog devoted to it, one he frequently updated when he should’ve been working.
“Yeah?! You wanna fight?!”
James’ snigger quickly morphed into another, this time long-suffering, groan. He pushed himself off the bar and grabbed Sirius’ arm, hissing his friend’s name. Sirius acted as if he was nothing more than a wisp of wind.
“Sure.”
James groaned. Again. He hoped to God that he wouldn’t have to take Sirius’ to A&E, again, so that their co-workers could laugh at them, AGAIN.
“Alright then!” shouted Sirius, pushing past the man and stalking towards the door. James’ eyes met with the stranger’s whose lips were pulled tight as he was obviously trying to suppress hysterical laughter. James’ responding expression was pained.
They sky was a pale pink and the sound of traffic assaulted them the second they stepped out of the bar. Lily, Peter, Benjy, and a few curious others who’d overheard the exchange had followed them out. The stranger came to a halt in the middle of the parking lot, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his head cocked as he watched Sirius also come to a halt.
“You’re gonna regret this,” Sirius said, pulling his fists up to his chest in a mockery of all the martial arts movies they’d seen. The stranger blinked and one of his eyebrows twitched. He pinned Sirius with his hetero-chromatic stare – in the light, James could see that his eyes were a vivid green and gold.
“I sincerely doubt that.”
“I’m coming for you then,” Sirius responded, jumping from foot to foot. James wanted to smack himself – or Sirius. This was embarrassing just watching.
“Alright then,” said the stranger, pulling his hands of his pockets. His fingers twitched at his side, watching with a smirk as Sirius psyched himself up.
A moment filled with electric tension passed, and then Sirius lunged at the stranger. The stranger side-stepped the attack, and then the following one, moving around Sirius in a circle. Clearly the stranger wasn’t taking this seriously, and neither really was the gathered crowd. Peter was trying to stifle his laughter, Benjy was grinning madly, and Lily, withholding pretense in the way James loved so much, was bent over with laughter.
The stranger made a move. He socked Sirius right in the jaw.
Sirius shouted, gripping his chin as he dropped to his knees. Lily’s laughter behind James only seemed to grow louder, Benjy had graduated to chuckling, and Peter’s face with scrunched up in empathy. James’ face mimicked Peter’s, his brows furrowed together.
The stranger held out his hand to Sirius, his own face contorted with sympathy. “Sorry mate, tried to go light on you,” he said as Sirius took his hand. The stranger towered over Sirius – James did too, but the stranger was definitely taller than even James. “I’m Remus,” introduced the stranger, “and I’m sort of a professional MMA fighter.”
Sirius guffawed.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” Remus continued, “but how about I make it up to you? I’ve got some tickets to an upcoming fight and then maybe I could take you to this little Lebanese place that I know?”
James’ laughter was hysterical.