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So one day I was walking driving home and I hit a pothole. It was only a tiny one so I was a little shooketh when I went flying through the windshield, into oncoming traffic but instead of getting pulverized I used my quick reaction skills to crawl into one of the tiny cracks in the concrete. I was gonna start digging like a mile to the side of the road but I started running out of air and I accidentally dug too deep and fell through a rift in dimensions.
Next thing I knew I was passed the fuck out on a building in the infinity castle wich was cool. My cat was trying to kill me but there was an epic anime battle happening above me so I just picked him up and shoved him in my pocket.
I haven't watching infi.ity castle but I have gotten spoilers.
I pull a sword out of my ass and start flying around looking for a pack of wild hashira, my cat also found a sword and in sow doing flips and shit cuz he's just cool like that.
So I find my pack of hashira and out of the corner of my vision I see two shaped fall onto the platform next to me. Its muichiro and im gonna make him not dead thats what we're doing fix it fic FUCK YEAH.
so as he's like squirming around with his inards pooling around him im like, "bro u need help with that I gotchu"
He has no idea what's going on because God only knows how much blood he's lost. Me and my fuckass cat immediatly start sewing his severed lover half back on, I dont have needle and thread so I use a fork and some of my own hair.
Once he's back together my cat gives him CPR and he's good as new. (Crisis averted)
Then we get teleported back into my car like nothing happened exept a two dementional twink is passed out in my trunk. Im in the front seat running a red light like normal, nothing ever happened, and I only blinked.
My dad apps something about how im a great driver for not killing anyone but I look in the rear view mirror and tokito is. On my phone looking at my Ao3 history so I crash the car on purpose, sending us both back through the rift in dimensions where I duckt tape him to the ceiling of the butterfly mansion with a bow on his head and a Christmas card that says "for Tanjiro ❤️"
The end
