Work Text:
to everyone,
silence has been loud lately. i cant even hear myself anymore, just silence over and over. its tiring. i want to stop being the only one speaking, it makes me feel lonely. i just want to go away, maybe to an island, sitting by a coconut tree where i dont have to worry about anything. or in a place everyone could stay together, because i miss when silence was quiet. i miss when we would laugh, cry, bicker. it made me happy because i would sleep knowing i would hear those again. i want to be happy again. i want to feel something, to live a little more. but im alone, i cant do things alone.
if this is what im living for, then why live at all? if nobodys there to live it with you, how good is it? how good is it if you catch a haul of fish, when in the end, youre the only one sitting at the table? i can live for someones purpose, but if they die, im alone again. its a cycle im tired of, because i know how things will perform. and it always ends the same way, alone. i wish i could run away from this, but no matter how fast i go, i will end up in the same places. walking in circles, following my own tail. because thats the only thing im good for. so one day, im gonna grow wings. if thats the only way i can fly, then im gonna grow wings. and maybe fly with everybody else like ive always wanted to.
the day is long, and the sun is already setting. im still here, i was always here. and i will still be waiting, i just gotta wait. i gotta sleep, wake up, and wait. i think it pays off in the end, being together again.
so im going to dream of you all,
and hopefully i wont wake up this time.