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‘Maybe I’m actually going to die this time.’ was the only thought that dominated [Name]’s mind at the moment.
The sun had beamed down upon her with such tyranny, contrasting the cool wind, the peaceful look of the summer sky, and the low chatter of the town square.
She wondered how these people could talk so much in the blistering heat, the mere thought of anyone trying to strike a conversation with her while she was drowning in her own sweat was so dreadful she couldn’t help but shiver.
She adjusted the sack of rice on her shoulders, grunting at the weight as she sped up her pace, hoping to get back home as fast as possible.
Despite the sack not being too large to carry, it was a bit difficult for a child to haul around in blistering weather and with sandals that were falling apart faster than the roof of a slum dwelling.
And besides, it wasn’t like she could make her grandmother do this grueling work, so all she could do in the end was whine and complain to no one but herself.
The town square wasn’t much of what it was supposed to be, more of a large patch of land with roads wider than the houses themselves, and the architecture was more crooked than that of the city.
Despite the town’s more country nature, there always seemed to be someone outside.
The old lady that was out selling pickled daikon to passerby's for a ridiculously high price.
The older girls who sat around the tea shop gossiping about the town’s measly affairs.
The gruff sailor-man that had settled in the town not too long ago and took gigs from people who needed things fixed.
She always saw him scolding the group of boys that came to loiter around his handyman shop since the large umbrella draped on the front of the store covered them from the heat.
Although, right near one of his carts, two stray cats slept there anyway.
She walked through the familiar streets, the scent of soy, dust and persimmons filling her nostrils.
As much as she hated the smell when she first got here, she had grown accustomed to it, and it brought her nostalgia every time the wind shifted the smell of the town up to the hill where her and her grandmother resided.
With the thought of her grandmother crossing her mind, she decided to move faster, not wanting to worry her since she already spent too much time waiting for the rice stall to open.
She was starting to reach the ends of the town square, marked by the open fields on either side of her and the long, forked road whose start was marked by a sign post.
Each sign had faded kanji of their destinations—Meguro, Futako, Asakusa, Komazawa—which she now could read since she decided to memorize and look them up in a dictionary with how often she passed this place.
She squinted her eyes as she looked up at the tall signpost, the wind rocking it from side to side as her eyes glossed over the locations.
Looking at it now, she couldn’t help but wonder how it’d be like to be back in the city.
The lively nights and the bustling town square. Her friends back at school.
The last time she’d been there was when her parents were still alive. She pauses for a bit as she solemnly looks up at the signpost, before kicking up the dirt in frustration.
What good would it be to daydream about the city anyway? She had more important things to worry about now, and she didn’t have time to daydream about what could’ve been.
Unfortunately, kicking up that dirt on a windy day wasn’t the brightest idea, as a sudden gust of wind threw a cloud of gritty dust against her face.
A sharp stinging sensation blasted into her eyes, causing her to let out a yelp as she panically moved her hand to rub away the irritating speck of dust.
But the jerky movement of her arm caused the rice sac to wobble, the heavy pouch falling with a resounding thud on the floor, spilling all of its precious contents on the dirt.
If [Name] wasn’t tearing up from the speck of dust in her eye, she sure was now.
“MY RICE〜!!! NOOOO〜!!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!!” She yells out in defeat, slumping on the ground as she starts sobbing and punching the dirt in anger.
All that time spent hauling that stupid sack of rice in the blistering heat, just for it to all go down the drain.
This was the only money they had to buy their rice supply! For a month!
She sobbed, holding the ripped rice sack in her hand like it was the corpse of a loved one. “You were gone too soon…” She mutters in between her sobs.
The heat wasn’t doing any good to help her frustration either, the sun now at its peak with it being the middle of the afternoon.
She wiped another bead of sweat that was travelling down her forehead, as she looked down at the spilled rice, wiping her tears in frustration. But she had no choice except to salvage what she could.
She got on her hands and knees as she began to gather the rice grains that were still on the ripped cloth, putting them in what was left of the sac. Although when she finished picking up all of the clean rice kernels, not much was left.
This amount of rice wouldn’t even last them for a week. She felt herself tear up again, but quickly shook her head, wiping her hands on her battered yakuta as she dropped the sack on the ground.
This wasn’t going to do.
Her only option was to go back to the stand where she bought it and ask for another, but she didn’t have the money. Should she just beg? Should she ask someone for a loan?
Her thoughts swirled in her head as she stood back up, her hands shaking in nervousness.
If she went back home now, her grandmother would be disappointed in her, wouldn’t she?
[Name] decided she had no choice but to brave it out. After all, the worst thing the salesman can say is no.
Reluctantly, she dragged her feet across the dirt path, not bothering to pick up the sack of rice.
Maybe some other poor soul who has no other means to buy food can stumble upon it and thank the gods for their sudden fortune.
She chuckled at the thought, finding anything that distracted her from her current situation amusing.
The walk back to the town was short since she didn’t go too far out, and in a few minutes she found herself back in the square. She didn’t waste much time, her walking turning to a light jog as she maneuvered through the moving carts and the kids that were horsing around, before she made it back to the front of the rice stall, standing up on one of the crates to reach the service stand.
“Excuse me! Yakamoto-san! Yakamoto-san!” She calls out to the owner as she peeked her head above the counter top, looking into the shop.
The inside of the store was her favorite part of coming here.
It had a cozy look; with the stacks of rice lined up against the walls, scales and wooden masu’s that were used to measure portions, the thick, battered ledger that she sometimes saw the owner writing in.
The scent of warm rice dust caused her nose to crinkle a little, almost making her sneeze if not for the sudden response that made her flinch.
“What are you doing here again [Name]?” The strong voice of the shopkeeper made her perk up.
She looked up at the tall man, who seemed to have come from filling up the rice sacks, evident by the wooden ladle in his hand.
Although there wasn’t any anger in his voice, the loud intensity of it made her a bit terrified to speak. It felt like he was going to scold her if she said anything wrong.
She knew it was a stupid thought to have, but she couldn’t help it. Especially since she’d heard rumors about the way he treats the people who rob his store.
“Hello Yakamoto-san.” She says, looking up at him as she stands on her toes to make herself taller. It hurt to crane up her neck at that angle all the time.
“I don’t mean to trouble you, but I um, dropped the sack of rice I bought earlier and it…ripped open on me. Is it alright if you can give me a new one?”
Her hands gripped the counter top tighter, partly for balance and partly because she was getting too nerve-wracked about what his reaction might be.
“Another one?” He repeated, crossing his arms. “Well no worries! As usual one shō’s gonna cost ya’ 20 sen. Or would you like to buy a bigger bundle?” He said, his voice still booming.
But his expression was gentler now as he leaned down to meet her eye level, which helped ease her nerves a bit.
“Actually, um, I don’t have any money.” She admits in a low voice, her hands tugging on the hem of her sleeves as she cringed at her admission. But before Yakamoto can say anything, she quickly rebuttals.
“But I promise next time I’ll pay double! I just don’t have any money now, that was all we had for the month!” She pleads, her eyes wide as she felt herself start tearing up again.
‘You idiot! Don’t cry now!’
She berates herself, but it seemed her body almost had a mind of its own, the familiar burning of her eyes and the runny nose continuing whether she liked it or not.
Silence filled the space between them for a few seconds, the only sound being heard was one embarrassing sniffle from [Name] as she waited for his response. Yakamoto sucks his tongue, his eyes closing in thought as he taps his foot rhythmically on the ground.
“See here [Name] this rice isn’t cheap alright? It's already hard doing business with something so expensive in this country town, so I can’t be giving away bags for free. Sorry kid.” He smiles at her with a reluctant tautness.
[Name] couldn’t believe it. Her only hope of redeeming what she lost was flushed down the gutter, and there wasn’t much she could do about it.
The tears pricking the corners of her eyes felt more pronounced before she hung her head low.
“Alright then…” She said, her voice a slight quiver when she tried to hold back the burning sensation in her throat from turning into full on sobbing.
Yakamoto let out a sigh, a look of sympathy on his face, before he moved to place his rough hand on her hair, ruffling it in a gentle manner.
“Alright, Alright. Listen here [Name]. How about you work here for the day, do all the menial tasks that usually take up a lot of my time, until I close the shop? If you agree, I’ll give you a bag of rice for free.” He proposes, crossing his arms again as he awaits her answer.
“Really?! You’re serious Yakamoto-san?!” She perks up, her tone filled with excitement as a feeling of relief washed over her body.
All she had to do was some tedious cleaning here and there for a bag of rice that was worth one month of what her grandmother made from selling sewed garments!
“I’ll take it! Please tell me where I can start!” She beams, nodding her head as she bounces up and down on the crate she was standing on.
Yakamoto let out a small chuckle. “Okay then. Well I got this corner over here…”
……………………………………………………………………………………
The job was much more troublesome than she expected, especially with how hot it was inside the shop.
Since the rice was being moved everywhere all the time and rush hour was just starting—this was the time of the month when people restocked their pantries— she had to bounce around from corner to corner dusting, sweeping, and rearranging everything into place.
He even made her organize the old ledgers he had in the back room, which was quite the struggle because of her height.
By the end of it all, she was completely worn out, the thought of even carrying the bag of rice back home made her nauseous.
Yakamoto saw how tired she was, and offered to give a small cart to help her carry the bag up the mountain, to which she agreed to without hesitation.
Now she found herself trudging up the hill at a tortuous pace, each shaky step making her think it’ll be her last with how bad her legs were quavering.
The sun had already set, casting a calming yet unsettling vibe to the thick forest that surrounded the path up the hill.
Although the coolness was one thing she was thankful for. The fact that she didn’t have to worry about sweating her entire water supply made the situation much more bearable.
She hummed a soft tune to get her mind off her body’s screams of exhaustion, and to cover up the unsettling silence that filled the path she was walking on.
As much as she hated to admit it, she was creeped out at walking alone, since she never dared to walk when the sun set.
Her grandmother would always tell her about tales of demons that roamed the night and ate human flesh.
When she had asked her if she ever saw any, her grandmother just laughed and said nothing else.
The memory only served to send a chill up her spine, her movements becoming a little more hurried.
‘There’s no way demons actually exist, Grandma was probably just trying to scare me.’ She thought to herself in a pathetic attempt of reassurance, letting out a deep breath as she continued up the path.
The sound of whistling was gone, now she was too scared to attract something to her.
She didn’t think it’d attract a demon….something more like a bear or boar was what she believed to be her biggest threat.
Or more so what she hoped to believe was her biggest threat.
She quickly tried to purge those thoughts from her head since they were doing nothing but making her panic.
Would her grandmother still be waiting for her at the front door like she always did, or was she already asleep, she wondered.
Her stomach grumbled again, overshadowing the sound of the crunching ground under her feet and the insistent chirping of cicadas.
Her mouth watered as she imagined the image of the delicious miso soup her grandmother always made for breakfast, her tongue darting out to lick her lips as her stomach grumbled again.
Maybe if her grandmother felt better tomorrow, they’d even have pickled plums!
[Name] looks up at the sky, the star-filled abyss putting her to awe no matter how many times she’d seen it.
Perhaps this was one of the only aspects she enjoyed of the summer months, the night time.
It was cool, not too cold like the winter, and the light breeze was gentle enough to lull her o sleep.
Her fear was gone when she began to hum happily, the back of the small wooden cabin that was surrounded by gigantic pine trees becoming increasingly visible the more she got up.
Finally! She could feel her calves celebrating in relief, already imagining the bliss of falling asleep on the soft futon.
A breeze whipped over the summit, bringing in the scent of wood smoke, moss and…..garlic?
Her nose recoiled from the sudden strong smell, the sharp, sour sensation extremely unpleasant to her senses.
She dropped the cart near the side of the house, jogging to the front. The closer she got to the house, the more this undeniable surge of dread began to fill her very being.
Her legs froze in fear, the dark abyss of the hallway terribly intimidating as she gagged at the terrible scent that was getting stronger.
She took even breaths to calm herself down, and as soon as the thrumming of her heart stopped being the sound that dominated her ears, she heard something.
Not a voice.
Not her grandmother’s footsteps.
Just….a hideous, snapping sound that was what she could only describe as someone chewing a really thick piece of meat with the bones still intact.
‘No….that’s not….Grandma…..it can’t be….’ Her thoughts were agonizingly slow, each passing second felt like an eternity as her feet mindlessly found themselves walking up the engawa and into the house, her eyes starting to burn from how long she didn’t blink.
Walking had never felt heavier, each step that got her closer to the sickening sound felt like she had a hundred sacks of rice on her back.
The smell was horrid at this point, the urge to vomit stronger than ever.
Her eyes moved down as she noticed one of the fusuma screens snapped in half and on the floor, before her head moved to look at the now visible space.
There was a shape inside the room.
Crouched down, hunched and twitching in a disturbing manner.
The way it jerked around was too unnatural, almost as if it didn’t know how bones were supposed to bend, but perhaps that didn’t apply to it since the silhouette of the limbs didn’t look like it knew where bones were supposed to be either.
Her breath hitched.
Terrible mistake.
It seemed the creature—whatever that thing was—had ears sensitive enough to pick up on the slightest sound of her breathing. If it hadn’t noticed her before, it sure did now.
The creature's unnatural twitching and the sounds of it feasting on a clump of something on the ground stopped.
At this point, she couldn’t control the tears that were now falling from her eyes.
The cloud’s finally moved to give away to the full moon, and as the light finally hit the room [Name] was looking at, she saw it.
The creature, no, demon, crouched down, feasting on—from what she could make out of the flowered kimono now drenched with blood that was poking out—her beloved grandmother.
It stayed frozen like that for a few seconds, the only sound [Name] heard was the rabbit-like beating of her heart.
Suddenly, the demon’s neck twisted completely to turn around to her without moving its body, the crack sickening her to her stomach.
[Name] didn’t even wait to see its face, didn’t want to see, and she took that as her cue to bolt back down the hall and out of the house, her little legs carrying her so fast she shocked herself at the newfound speed.
Her heart almost stopped when she heard a crash from within the house, thudding footsteps following right after.
She didn’t look back to see how close it was, but she knew that it would catch up with her soon enough.
This downhill was only going to give her so much of an advantage after all.
She winced at the sharp feeling of the rough ground and jagged stones piercing the soles of her feet, her sandals long discarded since they’d only slow her down.
[Name] let out a yelp as she heard a loud snarling sound and a crash right behind her.
It was getting close.
Too Close.
It was-CRACKASH!!
[Name] tripped on a large rock, her body tumbling down before she ricocheted off the ground and slammed into a tree, all the breath being knocked out of her.
A sudden white hot flash burst behind her eyes, the whole world flipping to the side. Her vision was messy, everything smeared into a sickening blur of colors.
She tried to grasp her bearings, but the mere thought of thinking about direction made bile rise up in her throat.
“Hhhkkk—kkhhhk—!!” Her breath came out in broken, wheezing gasps, each one rattling her rib cage with intense pain. Something was definitely broken.
The pain had put her in so much shock she forgot what she was running from.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
The slow yet steady sound of the demon’s footsteps thumped closer to her, her blurry eyes weakly shifting to look at her demise.
And gods was it hideous.
No explanation from her grandmother could do the ugliness of this demon any justice.
It was crooked, body and face, its large frame looking overgrown for its skin.
And the disturbing sight of oatmeal like chunks and blood on its teeth made her want to desperately vomit, the only thing stopping her being the paralyzing fear of the demon.
Was this it?
Is this where she was going to die?
A small whimper was all she could muster when she heard it snarl.
She was going to die.
She was going to die, just like her mom, just like her dad, and just like her grandmother, without ever accomplishing anything.
She had dreams. She wanted to grow older, and go back to the city.
She wanted to read all the books there were.
She wanted to travel the whole country, and meet new people. Possibly find her one true love like all those older girls in the town gossiped about while she sweeped the floors near them, pretending not to listen.
All those possibilities flashed before her eyes as she saw the snarling creature make a leap towards her body, and it was as if time itself had stopped. It was, as much as she hated to admit it, somewhat peaceful in that one, still moment.
But the expected pain of getting her flesh torn apart never came.
Instead, a thunderous rush of footsteps tore through the silence, and before she could process the sound, another one came.
The loud clash of metal against bone echoed throughout the forest, before a clean, slicing whish echoed throughout the trees. Her hands instinctively moved to her ears, covering them in fear and closing her eyes.
She couldn’t feel the intense pressure of the demon’s presence anymore, making her body relax slightly and cuing her to open her eyes.
[Name]’s eyes shifted to the sound of something crinkling, and she saw that the very demon that was going to end her life was now burning to mere ashes in front of her.
She didn’t understand what she saw, only that now she could make out someone standing in front of her, blade lowered and with an intimidating presence.
The first thing that caught her eyes was the strange, flame patterned haori that ruffled in the wind, its majesticness contrasting the gruesome scene she had just witnessed.
The man’s face was too blurry for her to make out, but she could tell his hair was a similar color to that of the tips of his haori.
He stepped forward, sheathing his blade in one swift movement as he crouched down to the shaken girl.
“You’re lucky,” his voice, rough like gravel, cut through the tense silence that stood between them.
Strange. His eyes were the same red color. It reminded her of tempura.
“Another second and you would’ve been in its stomach.”
[Name] didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Her throat burned too much for her to speak. He looked at her silently for a moment, before speaking again.
“Are you injured?” He says, his eyes looking her up and down as he studied her breathing. With that wheezing she must have had a broken rib.
She gave a weak nod, still terribly shaken about what just happened. But something about this man being here now made her feel much safer than before.
His red eyes flicked to the slope behind them, before moving back to her. “Do you live nearby?”
[Name] blinked through the tears still in her lashes. “...T-There. The house–my grandmother-she…” She couldn’t stop the shaking in her voice, feeling the familiar sensation of burning tears welling up at her eyes again.
“I see.” The man said in a grim tone. “Do you have any family in the village down there? I will drop you off after you get your injuries healed.”
She shook her head again. “N-No….My grandmother is all I have.”
‘Had’, she corrects in her head. Her grandmother wasn’t alive anymore, that was certain, and now that he brought it up, she couldn’t help but think about what was going to happen to her now.
The man stayed silent for a few moments, seeming to be in deep thought.
[Name] looked up at him with the strength she could muster from her cramped neck, noticing a tense expression on his face.
“Can you walk?” His voice suddenly interrupted her train of thoughts, making her flinch slightly.
Her legs felt like jello, and she wasn’t even confident in her ability to stand. But she tried anyway.
She moved one of her hands to grasp the tree, pulling her upward. But unfortunately her legs buckled from underneath her, causing her to fall on her knees.
He let out an almost disappointed sigh, although she couldn’t discern any hint of malice beneath it.
Suddenly, she felt her body being scooped up with great speed, the action making her let out a yelp as she felt nauseous again.
Her head wasn’t in the best condition after slamming full force into a tree.
The wind howled faintly in her ear when the man carrying her began to descend the hill, each bobbing movement of his lulling her to sleep.
Now that she was sure she was completely safe, she finally felt the fatigue of the entire day catch up to her.
She wanted to speak, maybe thank him, but her mouth refused to move. The last thing she saw was the flaming red hair that adorned the man, then–nothing.
……………………………………………………………………………………
[Name] stirred.
The soft light beaming in from the window was what caused her eyes to perk up, waking her from a long, dreamless sleep.
Her eyes fluttered open as she let out a groan, a thrumming pain being felt throughout her whole body.
The first thing she noticed was the unfamiliar look of the room.
This wasn’t her house.
She tried her best to sit up, the soreness of her body growing evident the more she moved.
She looked around the room with a solemn expression. It was a small, simple yet elegant room, furnished with minimalist drawers and strong wood. She noticed that her futon and clothes were incredibly soft, made out of cotton perhaps? Definitely something she couldn’t afford.
The calm incense-filled smell of the room did little to help her relax when she recounted the memories of what happened before she lost consciousness.
Surprisingly, she didn’t feel like crying. It was more of a numb feeling, the type that made you think if anything was even worth it anymore. But, at least she was alive.
The sudden noise of a floor creak made her head perk up to the partially opened shoji door, only to be met with two reddish owl-like eyes, much like the ones of her savior from yesterday.
The moment they made eye contact however, the figure behind the door flinched like they had been caught, before quickly closing what was left of the shoji door.
[Name] raised an eyebrow in confusion. It didn’t seem to be her savior from yesterday, although they look the same. Perhaps it was a member of his family?
“Um….You can come in.” She speaks out, her voice hoarser than she would’ve liked, making her wish she would’ve coughed before speaking.
A few seconds pass in silence, before the shoji door slowly opens again, this time wide enough to reveal a boy standing there.
He looked no older than her, with spiky red-orange hair that was neatly framed around his face and shoulders. His face, although a neutral expression, still looked like he was about to burst out in excitement.
What a strange boy.
She looked at his hair again. It reminded her hungry self of tempura, which immediately caused her stomach to grumble.
“...”
“...”
“Ah! You’re awake!” His cheery voice suddenly perked up, moving with great speed for a boy his age and kneeling next to her futon. “I was told you were badly injured-but you look much better now! That’s good! My name’s Rengoku Kyojuro!”
She blinked at him slowly, startled by his explosive energy. It seemed to be very early in the morning, how was he so energetic?
“Do you want water? Or food? I can ask my mother!” He said, his voice softening slightly when he noticed she was a bit put off by his loudness.
Sayrui looked at him for a few seconds. Now that he did mention it (and definitely not because her stomach growled earlier), she was very hungry. Running from a demon after working a hard day of labor did tend to make most people weary after all.
“I’d like that.” She responded, nodding her head. “But, where am I?” She quickly follows up before he can speak again.
“You’re in the Rengoku estate! My father rescued you and brought you here!” He promptly replies, a look of admiration on his face at the mention of his Father.
She looks away from him nervously.
Was it really okay for her to live in a stranger’s home and leech off of them like this? She already felt guilty since they gave her new clothes and even a comfortable futon to sleep on, something that she couldn’t even afford, let alone receive for free.
“Where is your father now? I would like to thank him before I leave.” She says, her gaze moving back to meet his, and she almost laughed at the sheer panic that filled his face.
“Leave?! But you’re really injured!” He exclaims in an almost offended manner, his orange-red eyes widening.
His eyes resembled that of an owl's. She lets out an unprompted chuckle, making the boy stare at her with a confused look.
“What’s wrong? Why are you laughing?” He asks, tilting his head.
Gosh, he really did look like an owl.
“I-Its nothing!” She chirps up, her face becoming slightly red at being caught. Luckily he didn’t press any further, simply nodding his head.
“Alright then! I’ll go ask my mother to fetch you some food and water! Stay here okay?” He says, standing up, but not before being halted by [Name] gently grabbing his sleeve.
“U-Um, sorry to stop you, but I didn’t give you my name. I’m Moyama [Name].”
He froze a bit at the sudden contact, before he erupts into a bright smile.
“It's nice to meet you then, [Name]-chan!” He says, his voice all too happy before he rushed out faster than she could process.
‘Huh…I swear I saw him blushing just now. Is he embarrassed because of me?’ She wonders in her head, making her softly clutch the sheets of the futon.
She looks out of the small window that peered into the elaborate garden, a long breath escaping her. She had a feeling that things were going to be much different from now on.
……………………………………………………………………………………
And they were. [Name], who was used to working hard labor day in and day out to help support her grandmother, was now given everything she could’ve ever needed without having to do much.
She had tried to do some chores around the house while she recovered, but Kyojuro always swooped in and chided her gently about how she should be resting.
Despite his very erratic and loquacious deposition, he was surprisingly very perceptive of her emotions, which is why she greatly enjoyed his company.
[Name] wasn’t one to talk much and she’d always been ridiculed for having a monotone expression, but Kyojuro was able to pick up on how she was truly feeling no matter what tone she responded with.
Which creeped her out at first.
But because of that, their conversations flowed smoothly since he always knew what to say even when she wasn’t talking.
She did eventually meet the other members of the family.
Ruka, Kyojuro’s mother, a newly born Senjuro, and the man who saved her, whose name she learned was Shinjuro.
Ruka was a very ill yet grounded woman.
When she first brought [Name] food, she treated her with the same worry and compassion one would treat their own child with. It reminded her of her own mother, although she was nothing near the elegance that Ruka held.
Her husband, Shinjuro, was a stern yet passionate man, especially when he trained Kyojuro. And he sometimes let her join in, teaching her some basic stances and allowing her and Kyojuro to spar.
Although it always ended in her loss. So she’d just sulk on the engawa with Senjuro on her lap as they watched them train.
They both couldn’t hold their laughter every time they saw Kyojuro mess up a move badly.
During the short summer nights, all 3 of them would gather around in Kyojuro’s bedroom when it got too hot to sleep.
Kyojuro would act out some of his favorite Kabuki plays in the most dramatic and clumsy manner, but it made for great entertainment.
And sometimes they’d just sit around and read or play some game they made up on the spot.
Whatever it was, Kyojuro would always get scolded by his father during training sessions the next morning since he zoned out from not getting enough sleep.
[Name] never expected it, but she had grown accustomed to her life here.
Shinjuro did go around asking if anyone wanted to take her in, and it ended in a miserable failure because of her orphaned background.
But because of how much she helped around the house and how close he had seen her get with his children, he decided to let her stay. For now.
Little did he know, that for now was going to be for a long, long time.
…………………………………………………………………………………
“Kyojuro, slow down! You’re running too fast!” She panted out as she was dragged by the enthusiastic boy, her legs nearly tripping over themselves and her hand tightly held by his.
“We’ll get there quicker if we run! And running fast will help us get in good spirits for the festival!” He says, but despite his words, he does slow down to let her catch up.
She lets out an exasperated noise. “What do you even mean by that? We’re going to get there anyway so you might as well slow down!”
He let out a booming laugh at her words, as they zigzagged between the crowded and boisterous streets.
It had been 5 years since [Name] had started living in the Rengoku household.
Both her and Kyojuro were now 12, and he had fully started his training to become a demon slayer.
It wasn’t often they got to go out with each other because of how busy he was.
But that’s why today was special.
Shinjuro had allowed his son one day of rest from training due to the festival going on in town, so they both decided to go down to the village and enjoy the festivities for the night.
Unfortunately, Senjuro wasn’t allowed to go since he was too young, so they had to sneak out of the house without alerting him to not make him feel bad.
And Shinjuro left for a mission hours ago, so he couldn’t make it either.
Kyojuro halted abruptly as he finally brought them both to the beginning of the crowd, the sudden stop of movement making her trip. But he caught her before her face planted onto the floor.
“So this is what you wanted to show me…” [Name] starts in awe, her wide eyes curiously glancing up at the large platform in front of them, the bright festival lights causing her to squint.
“Yes! The sumo match was going to start off pretty early, so that’s why I wanted to hurry. Sorry about that.” He admits, a slight hint of guilt in his voice when he looks at her disheveled hair, the pin that was keeping it neat and tidy now covered with messy strands.
He moved his hands to fix her hair with clumsy movements, his focused face and furrowed eyebrows making her let out a small laugh.
“What’s wrong? Did you see something funny?” He perked up, looking around her surroundings for the supposed amusing spectacle with a strange eagerness.
“Why do you look so serious fixing my hair? Is it that difficult?” Her face morphs into an amused smile.
His face paused for a bit and he looked down at the hands that were intertwined in the tangled mess of her hair. It seemed he only made it worse.
“I…um ... .You have a lot of hair [Name], so it's quite challenging!” He tries to defend his clumsy attempt before he continues to try and tidy up her hair.
“You don’t have to fix it y’know? I’ll just wait until the sumo match is over and go fix it myself. Let’s just enjoy watching now, yeah?” Her hand moves to grasp the one in her hair and bringing it down between them, oblivious to the small blush on his face.
“But Mother did your hair, I must take responsibility for messing up her hard work!” He insists stubbornly, but he made no move to get his hand away from hers.
“You worry too much. Look, the match is starting!” She quickly says, pointing at the wrestlers who were now getting into position, the yobidashi sweeping the salt into its proper place and preparing to start the match.
[Name]’s hand remained glued to Kyojuro’s as her eyes followed the slow yet sensual movements of the wrestlers.
Kyojuro had told her that sumo matches are particularly very short, and most of the movements done by the wrestlers beforehand are more ritualistic than for sport.
All that being said, these guys were huge! She wondered how much they ate for them to achieve such a barrel-like build.
“Look! The one with the purple mawashi is Hitachiiwa Eitaro! What a boisterous build! I hear he achieved the Ozeki ranking not too long ago, and at such a young age! How admirable!” Kyojuro exclaimed, pointing at one of the wrestlers who was stretching his legs and glaring menacingly at his opponent.
“Who’s the other one? The guy with the white mawashi? He’s very tall.” She turns her head away from the podium to face an excited Kyojuro.
“That one’s Toyokuni Fukuma. I heard that his large build impressed his commanding officer so much, he released him from service to do sumo!” He says, his voice full of admiration. She found it adorable how he knew so much about this stuff.
“Wow, they’re taking so long. It's been five minutes of them just stretching and walking around that circle. What are they doing anyway?” She sighs, her leg lightly bouncing in place. She was starting to feel burned out from standing in those uncomfortable geta sandals for too long.
“Patience [Name], sumo is like a ritual! The yobidashi is waiting until they get their breathing in sync. The dedication to detail is impressive!”
“You should just be the commentator with how passionate you are about this Kyojuro. I’m sure no one will have a problem hearing your loud voice.” She says in a nervous tone, noticing how many people were looking at them because of how loud he spoke.
Before he could say anything, the wrestlers placed their knuckles on the ground, signaling the beginning of the match.
In a split second, the man with the white mawashi (she forgot his name) quickly flipped the oncoming purple-mawashi guy (she also forgot his name) using his arm.
Taking advantage of his unbalanced opponent, he grabs him by the cloth of his mawashi, before pushing him out of the ring and causing him to fall onto the fleeing group of people that were unfortunate enough to be in that spot.
The crowd, including Kyojuro, erupted in a roaring cheer, the loud noise causing [Name] to wince at how it blasted her eardrums. She was slightly disappointed at how quick the match was despite their long wait, but seeing Kyojuro’s ecstatic expression, she’d let it slide for now.
…
“What do you want to do next? Should we go play some more stall games? Or get some food? Oh I know! How about we go to the theater?” Kyojuro rambles on too quickly for her to process every option, his voice echoing throughout the empty road where they were walking alongside the river near the festival.
They had just wrapped up one section of the festival stalls, with Kyojuro decimating every single game with the excuse of wanting to win the best possible prize.
Which is why she held a bag full of trinkets and a few stuffed animals since he didn’t know when to stop.
“I’m not sure…I mean I’m feeling pretty tired, so I guess we can go see a play?” She muses, her mouth blowing a strand of hair that kept falling on her face.
“If you’re tired, we can just go home! You don’t need to force yourself to do anything.” His words were enunciated with a soft squeeze to her hand.
“Its still too early to go home though, and you barely get any days off when you’re training. I want you to enjoy yourself. I’m completely fine with spending some more time here.” She says, smiling at his worry.
“...”
“Kyojuro?”
Surprisingly, he didn’t answer immediately like he usually did, causing her to turn to him with a raised eyebrow.
Only to be met with a face as red as the tips of his hair.
Did he have a fever?
“Um, are you okay?” She asks, unclasping her hand from his to try and check his temperature, but he quickly grabs it, before snapping his head the other way.
“It's nothing [Name]! The weather is getting hot isn’t it?! Let’s head to the theater then!” He quickly blurts out, before tugging at her hand as he starts running.
“Kyojuro I'm wearing geta sandals–SLOW DOWN!”
“SORRY!!!”
……………………………………………………………………………………
[Name] walked through the familiar hallways of the estate, piggy backing Senjuro as she made her way to the training yard. He was 7 now and fully capable of walking, but he still liked being babied by [Name] from time to time.
It was late in the afternoon, so it should’ve been about the time Kyojuro would’ve finished his training.
They didn’t watch him this time since they were too busy playing hopscotch, so they were pretty excited to see him.
“Say, Senjuro, what should we play with Kyojuro to cheer him up? He trained more than usual today!” She asks the small boy on her back.
“Tag! We should play tag! Or jump roping! Big Brother loves those kinds of games.” Senjuro says, a bright smile adorning his face.
“He does love hopping around, that little gremlin…” She murmurs, continuing down the hallway, the training yard becoming more visible with each step she takes.
But surprisingly, no one was there.
Did he leave already?
She sets Senjuro down on the floor. “That’s strange. If he left earlier, why didn’t he stop by the garden we were in?” She muses.
“If Father and him aren’t here, they’re probably with Mother.” Senjuro says, looking up at [Name].
“Oh yeah! We should go check!” She nods her head, grabbing Senjuro’s hand before she switches course.
Ruka’s room was pretty far from the training yard, and with how big the estate was, she always found it troublesome to move from one place to another just for a menial task.
It was pretty good for hide and seek matches though.
…
“Kyojuro?”
[Name] starts off, her eyebrow raising when she turned the corner to see him standing in front of Ruka’s room, his hands gripping the frame of the shoji tightly. He seemed to be listening in to something.
At the sound of her voice, he jumped up like a startled cat, quickly whipping his head around to see her and Senjuro standing there.
“[Name], Senjuro! What are you both doing here?” His voice was a hushed yell, quickly moving towards them with that signature smile on his face.
But she could’ve sworn that the face he had when she turned the corner was completely different. She had never seen that somber expression on him before, and it rubbed her the wrong way.
“We came to see you since we thought you finished training Big Brother. We wanted you to hang out with us!” Senjuro says, happy to see his brother.
“I’m flattered, you two! But let’s go somewhere else okay? Mother is in a doctor’s visit right now, so we wouldn’t want to disturb her!” He says, laughing softly as he patted Senjuro’s head.
[Name]’s eyes softened at his words. She wanted to ask him about her condition, but with Senjuro being here, she didn’t want to risk him hearing potentially unsavory news.
She already knew how ill Ruka was. But despite her illness, she went above and beyond in raising her children, including [Name].
The first time they ever talked fully was when Ruka invited her to sit down for some tea.
[Name] remembered how much she shook from nervousness. She felt quite embarrassed since she didn’t know what to say, and awkward situations were her least favorite thing in the whole wide world. Right behind getting chased by a demon.
It was surprisingly pleasant however.
Ruka had a very gentle voice, so talking to her wasn’t as intimidating as talking to Shinjuro, and she seemed to show genuine interest in the things [Name] had to say.
They did continue having these gatherings many times after, and at some point during that time she had started to call Ruka ‘mother’. Not out of her own volition, but out of a request Ruka herself had made.
So it was safe to say that [Name] had come to cherish Ruka as much as the others have.
…
“Hopefully it goes well.” [Name] smiles. “Come on Kyojuro, you still haven’t done good on your word in beating me in a jump roping competition."
“No need for that, I was already going to beat you anyway!” He says in an enthusiastic yet low voice. They all chatter throughout their walk down the long hallway.
But she couldn’t help but notice how he glanced back at the room before they turned the corner, although she couldn’t read his expression from the angle she saw his face in.
She put a mental note to talk to him that night, the worry never quite being able to leave her.
……………………………………………………………………………………
“Hey Kyojuro.” [Name] whispers, approaching the boy that was sitting on the engawa.
“[Name]! What brings you here?” Kyojuro’s voice happily booms out, his smile brighter than the sun at the sight of her.
“I just put Senjuro to sleep, and I was feeling pretty restless, so I decided to come here. I didn’t know you’d be here too. Can’t sleep either?” She asks, taking a seat next to him.
That was a lie. She had been waiting to catch him by himself the whole day, the only thing stopping her being Senjuro’s presence.
“I think I got too fired up from training today! It’ll take a while for me to find sleep!” His words make her frown.
“Um, Kyojuro. I know it's not in my place to ask this, but…are you okay?” She asks, swallowing nervously as she tries to read his expression for any hints of displeasure.
“Whatever do you mean? If you’re speaking of my health, I am perfectly fine! As healthy as can be!” He says, laughing and raising his arm in a playful flex.
“No I mean, what happened with Ru-I mean, what happened with Mother, this morning. The doctor came to visit right? And you did look a bit distressed for a split second when you were eavesdropping, so I thought it was pretty serious.” She states in a matter-of-fact tone, a small blush of embarrassment on his face when she sees him tense up at the fact that she caught him eavesdropping.
But his expression quickly turned somber.
“Ah, I knew you’d catch on, you’re way too good at that [Name].” A humorless chuckle escapes him, his voice getting much softer than before.
“I-from what I heard, it doesn’t seem Mother’s condition is getting any better, despite the amount of time that had passed and the amount of medicines the doctor had tried.” He says, trying his best to stop his voice from cracking.
[Name] frowns when she noticed how he tried to stop the trembling of his hands by tightly gripping the clothing on his lap.
“I see…” Her gaze turns back to the garden in front of them. She already felt her eyes burning from the tears that threatened to spill, so she couldn’t even imagine how Kyojuro felt.
[Name]’s hand moves to cusp the trembling pair on his lap, her eyes locking in with his slightly shocked ones.
“You don’t have to stay silent about how you feel, you know? Cry, bawl your eyes out if you want, but don’t bear it like this in front of me. Seeing you like that makes my chest hurt.” She says, a few tears falling from her eyes. But she still kept her face straight to keep up her tough facade. [Name] didn’t notice how his eyes widened from her words.
Gosh, she was so embarrassed, crying like that even though she was supposed to be comforting him. How much more pathetic can she get?
She sniffles softly, moving her free hand to wipe the tears that were falling from her eyes.
“Sorry. I was supposed to be the one letting you cry, not the other way around.”
Her eyes widen when a sudden calloused thumb moves to brush the tears from her eyes.
“Don’t apologize! What you said was right, not expressing myself will only cause these negative emotions to build up, and I’ll burden those around me. Thank you for that, [Name]!” He says, but despite his bright tone, she could see the way his eyes glistened more than usual.
“Why are you so cheery, you silly goose…” She mumbles to herself while he wiped her tears, a small laugh escaping her despite her words.
“Its good to keep your spirits raised in times like these! And it's alright, I’m already feeling much better thanks to you!” He says, his hand squeezing hers.
“O-Oh, I almost forgot! I wanted to give you something.” She suddenly says, her hand moving inside her futokoro, pulling out a red flower-patterned omamori.
“Here…I made it earlier today to cheer you up for what happened. I wanted to give it to you before I started talking, but, y’know…” She sticks out the omamori and puts it in his free hand.
…
Ba-dump.
What was that?
Why did his heart beat so painfully?
“You…You sewed this? For me?” He murmurs, his expression unreadable as he looked down at the omamori, before it broke out into a bright smile.
“It's beautiful! Truly a magnificent piece of art! Your sewing skills are superb!” He gushes out compliments, immediately putting the omamori in his futokoro.
“I’ll cherish it for as long as I live!”
“You don’t have to keep it for that long, the material I used was pretty cheap anyway I doubt it’ll last for so many years.” She sighs, but deep down she was feeling elated that he liked it so much.
Oh well, she’d let him have his fun with it, as childish as it was.
……………………………………………………………………………………
“Ken!”
“Ken!”
“Pa!”
“I did it! [Name], look I did it!” The sound of Senjuro’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, her eyes moving to look down at the boy who had finished the entire 25-ring chain of hopscotch she had put down.
“Huh, you’re getting better! I didn’t expect for you to actually finish that.” She says, chuckling softly as she patted his head.
“Give me more rings please! I want to beat your record.” He rebuttals, despite the fact that his face was gleaming with sweat and his words were enunciated by a rapid panting.
“You’re getting tired Senjuro. I wouldn’t want you to collapse-”
KLACK!
The sudden sharp sound of a wooden sword hitting the sturdy training dummy echoed throughout the training yard, interrupting her words.
They both turn around to see Kyojuro, hair tied up and sleeves pulled, striking the dummy with a practiced vigor.
“Wow, he’s really going at it.” She mumbles to herself, looking down at Senjuro’s admiring expression.
She found it cute how much he admired his older brother, and he was always waiting for the day that he too would start training.
Senjuro and [Name] were hanging out in the training yard instead of the usual garden that day, and it was what they’ve been doing for the past two weeks.
Ever since the omamori incident (what she likes to call it, she’s still mortified about crying), she had noticed Kyojuro developing some...strange mannerisms?
She didn’t know how to put it, but he was the one that asked her and Senjuro if they would hang out in the training yard while he trained instead of the garden, insisting they wouldn’t be a distraction.
He’d always glance over at her after he made a particularly cool move or broke the dummy to see if she was watching, and he’d look like a kicked puppy if she wasn’t.
Shinjuro would scold him for not paying attention, making Senjuro and [Name] both laugh at how stupidly happy he looked despite getting yelled at.
Sometimes he’d flex his arms in front of her and say something along the lines of “Look [Name]! Aren’t I strong?” and she’d reply with something like “Yes Kyojuro, very much.” She swore his smile brightened every time she said that.
It made her concerned about his mental state.
[Name] prayed deep down in her heart that these happy days would continue on for a long, long time. That Ruka would get better. That Kyojuro would make his father proud by becoming a Hashira. That Senjuro would continue looking up to his brother and become like him one day.
…
But of course, when was the world ever fair in answering your prayers?
……………………………………………………………………………………
It all happened too fast.
The blood.
The chaos.
The announcement.
The shock.
The funeral.
She didn’t even feel like she existed these past few days. That’s why standing here, a sobbing Senjuro tightly hugging her and Kyojuro putting the incense in the grave in front of her, it didn’t feel real.
Wasn’t it just three weeks ago where the three of them clumsily made Ruka that comically large onigiri to cheer her up?
Wasn’t it just two weeks ago where she suddenly felt healthy enough and they all went out to a festival in town?
Wasn’t it just last week where they all had lunch together like normal, like how it was supposed to be?
Why, why did this happen all of a sudden?
“Hic…Big Brother…Ever since mother had died, father has lain on the floor…is he going to heaven like mother?” Senjuro’s shaky voice asks, causing a pang of pain and guilt to come crashing into her all at once, her throat constricting as she continues to silently cry.
“No, don’t say that Senjuro. Father will get back up someday. I am certain of it.” Comes Kyojuro’s reply, but despite his optimistic words the sound of his voice made it clear that he wasn’t faring any better than the rest of them.
They were the only ones who visited Ruka’s grave the day after the funeral.
To [Name]’s shock, Shinjuro had drunk himself to the point of passing out, and he brushed off all their attempts to wake him up in a harsh manner.
But it was the way Senjuro couldn’t understand why his own father was treating them that way was what broke her heart.
The dark, looming clouds finally gave in after hanging over the sky for so long, the soft pitter-patter of the rain beginning to drown out the sobs near the grave.
“K-Kyojuro…Kyojuro…” She gently tugs at his sleeve. “We should head home now…the rain’s going to get worse soon…” She says, her voice lower than usual.
“You’re right, [Name].” He stands up from where he was placing the incense and flashes her a soft smile.
She moves to carry Senjuro in her arms, her hand moving to hold Kyojuro’s as they start their journey back home.
…
Shinjuro did not get any better. In fact, he had only gotten worse, his drinking habits spiraling out of control.
[Name] noticed how he’d drink full sake bottles before missions, and when he came back he’d have new ones that were completely empty, suggesting he’d drunk during the mission as well.
He’d also grown much colder towards them, completely abandoning training Kyojuro, saying that ‘he’d never amount to anything anyway’.
Despite all this, Kyojuro remained steadfast in his training, and he had never lost his passion.
Because he didn’t have his father to teach him, he had turned to using the flame chronicles left behind by the previous Flame Hashiras.
[Name] admired his persistence more than anything. It was amazing how he didn’t let his grief swallow him whole.
She knew she had to do the same as well, so she went all out in taking care of the house and everybody’s needs. She always woke up at dawn, cleaning up the house or any sake bottles that Shinjuro left behind, and she had breakfast ready before everyone woke up and lunch ready just when Kyojuro would usually finish his training.
Even though Shinjuro never ate with them anymore, she always plated him a portion of his favorite items and left it in the front of his room.
She was pleasantly surprised when she would come back and find the plate empty, every time.
……………………………………………………………………………………
It had been 4 long years since Ruka passed away.
[Name]’s life did go back to a normal routine, although the emptiness of Ruka and Shinjuro’s presence was felt heavily by everyone.
Kyojuro and [Name] were now 16, and because of hoisting the responsibility of taking care of one household for so long, her personality had mellowed out and she had become much more mature than her younger years.
But it was the complete opposite for Kyojuro, who had instead become much more boisterous and outgoing as the years went by.
She didn’t know if it was because of the increasing intensity of his training (which she scolded him for every time he injured himself) or if it was because he was trying to stay strong for everyone, but she was happy that he didn’t change from the person she had grown so fond of.
Senjuro had also grown considerably. The little boy that had reached up to her knees and loved to be babied grew up to be as kind and gentle as his mother, and he too started training.
But, he did have some trouble…
“Senjuro, you should rest now. You’ve already done enough, you’re exhausted.” [Name] gently urges the 12-year old boy, her hands moving the towel across his forehead to wipe the sweat off.
“But I can’t! Big Brother did double when he was my age, and he didn’t even break a sweat!” Senjuro pouts, disappointed in himself as his hands tightened their grip on the hilt of the wooden sword.
“Don’t demean yourself like that.” Her eyebrows furrow slightly.
“You and your brother have different talents, it just so happens that you haven’t found yours yet.”
“But…I’m supposed to be my brother’s tsugoku, and became a Hashira reserve. If I fail to do even that…I’ll disgrace the family.” He says in a somber tone, his head drooping down.
“Disgrace the family? What family are you talking about, you silly boy? Don’t you see how much your brother loves you? I don’t think he’d let some silly family tradition get in the way of your happiness.” She teases him, ruffling his hair.
“You’re the only one who’d call a hundreds of years long tradition ‘silly’.” He says, but despite his words a small smile found its way onto his face.
Unbeknownst to the both of them, Kyojuro was peeking behind the wall that turned to the engawa of the training yard, his hand holding the omamori that she had given him that fateful day 4 years ago.
That day, he swore he’d let nothing get in his way from getting stronger. Nothing would get in his way from becoming a Hashira, from fulfilling his mother’s wish, and from becoming a person who’d be worthy enough to stand by [Name]’s side.
With the final selection happening in a month, he’d make sure that he’d say what he wanted to say, he’d make sure to tell her how he truly feels.
Because although he is confident in his abilities, anything could happen, and the thought of him leaving this world without ever telling her gnawed at his heart.
He glanced up from the omamori in his hand, his eyes glued to her figure. The way she so sweetly handled Senjuro, the sound of her laugh as she ruffled his hair…
In that moment, all he could think was,
‘If the gods are merciful, please. Let her stay with me. Let her stay in our lives forever.’
……………………………………………………………………………………
4 weeks before the Final Selection
It was a nice spring evening today. Not too hot, not too cold, just pleasant enough to allow for an outdoor picnic.
And that’s exactly what [Name] did.
She had noticed that Kyojuro hadn’t been taking any leisure days off lately, much to her disappointment, so she suggested during breakfast that they all go out to the hills nearby and have a picnic under the blooming Sakura trees.
To her surprise, Kyojuro didn’t utter a word of complaint about having to stop training for that day. Instead his face lit up the moment she mentioned it.
Senjuro was excited as well, it had been a while since they had a picnic.
Of course, she did try to invite Shinjuro, but he gruffly shooed her away.
…
“DELEICOUS!” Kyojuro’s voice boomed throughout the grassy area, his face lighting up after having taken one bite of the sweet potato rice that she had made, a small blush on his face at how good it was.
“Big Brother said it's delicious! He likes it!” Senjuro beams, his efforts into making that sweet potato rice clearly not wasted.
“You’re quite good at cooking Senjuro. I only showed you how to do it once but you perfected my technique. Dare I say it's even better than mine.” [Name] says, chuckling through a mouthful of rice.
“Indeed Senjuro! Good job!” Kyojuro praises, patting his brother’s head.
“You guys flatter me too much.”
“Aww, Senjuro’s blushing!” [Name] pinches his cheeks playfully, resulting in his small protests.
…
“Oh yeah, Kyojuro. I heard you finally mastered using Flame Breathing! Congrats! I made you something for the occasion.” She perks up, ruffling in the satchel of bento boxes before pulling out one that was colored differently than the others.
“Open it!”
“Thank you [Name]! I am excited to see what you have made!” He gently takes the bento box from his hand, his expression like that of an excited little child that was opening Christmas presents.
He opened the bento box, revealing a set of different potato and sweet-potato foods. But what stood out to him the most was the ketchup drawing that was carefully put on a large potato omelet.
It was a simplified drawing of his face, and a text reading ‘Congratulations Kyojuro!’ right next to it.
“How is it? Do you like it? Senjuro helped me make the omelet, but the rest I made myself. Oh yeah, those brown crunchy things are called ‘hashbrowns’. They’re a Western dish! Exotic right?” She proudly rambles on about her bento, clearly impressed with her own work.
“This is masterful work [Name]! I’m sure this took a lot of effort! Thank you!” He says, turning his head up as he smiles at her from ear to ear. He didn’t waste any time in moving the chopsticks to the food, the loud ‘Delicious!’ leaving him after the first bite of the omelet.
A hint of relief flashes through her eyes. “I’m glad you like it, Kyojuro.”
As the picnic went on, [Name] couldn’t help but notice how quiet Kyojuro would get when she and Senjuro were talking. She’d ask him if he was alright after a few minutes of him staring at them, to which he’d quickly reply and brush it off as just him zoning out.
They finally finished eating the huge amount of food they brought just as the sun was about to set. Senjuro was already asleep and [Name] was struggling to keep her eyes open, so Kyojuro carried them both home that day. [Name] dozed off in the middle of the walk because of how comfortable his back was, the pleasant warmth soothing all the worries she had.
…
What wasn’t pleasant though was waking up in her futon in the middle of the night with no recollection of how she got there. She genuinely thought she had gotten kidnapped before her surroundings settled in. Perks of having hazy morning vision.
……………………………………………………………………………………
3 weeks before the Final Selection
[Name] sighed softly while she sat down on the engawa, her hands swiftly moving between thread and needle as she sewed some of Kyojuro’s ripped training clothes. She didn’t even know how he managed to rip such a sturdy material.
Seriously, how strenuous were the swings that the clothing had to tear?
Kyojuro was just a few feet away from her, his eyes glued onto the training dummy as he ruthlessly landed blow after blow on it. She kinda felt bad for the poor training dummies, this was the 400th one this month.
Senjuro had gone out to buy some groceries. He insisted he wanted to make a ‘surprise meal’ for the both of them and he wanted to do the shopping by himself since [Name] had been working so hard doing all the housework.
She looked down at the gradually closing tear in the clothing. Only a few more stitches and the left leg was good to go.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching her. She looks up to see Kyojuro walking to the engawa, his sleeve wiping the sweat off his brow. He looked too happy to be leaving training to approach her. What was up with that stupid smile anyway?
“[Name]! Do you mind if you pass me the water? I’m quite thirty!” He points to the water jug next to her. [Name] nods her head, her hand moving to hand him the jug og water.
“Thank you!” He grabs the water from her hand, but his hand stops when he grabs the bottle and a part of her fingers, not making any move to take the water and go.
“Um, aren’t you going to take it?” She asks, looking up from his hand as she notices his red face.
Training must be really intense huh.
“No! I m-mean, yes! I was just thinking if I should take a break and sit here next to you.” He stutters out, his strange action making her raise an eyebrow.
“You should take a break. You’ve been training for three hours.” She gestures for him to sit down with her free hand. He finally releases her hand from its captivity, sitting down next to her and drinking the water.
“It's only natural that I train for so long! The final selection is coming up soon after all!"
At his words she tenses up, her grip on the needle tightening the slightest bit.
“The Final Selection…” She mutters, her hands lazily beginning to start up the sewing motions.
He examines her face, picking up on the hint of bother that radiated off of her expression. He swore the way she worried about him made his heart start beating a mile a minute.
“Are you worried?” He asks, his voice surprisingly gentle.
“Is that even a question? Of course I am. I almost fainted when I heard how the test was structured.” She furrows her eyebrows.
“Haha! I remember that!” He laughs at the amusing memory of when he told her all about the Final Selection.
“But don’t worry! I will make sure to come back alive to you, Senjuro, and Father. I promise you that.” He says, his voice filled with conviction as his hands suddenly moved to hold hers.
These weren’t the same tiny hands that she held back when they were younger. They were bigger, more calloused. And perhaps that’s what made her want to believe his promise even more.
“I just hope…nothing goes wrong.”
Her words make his eyes soften.
“Here, how about we go check up on Senjuro in the market! I’m sure he must be feeling lonely shopping all by himself!”
“Check up on him? Um, sure. It’d be nice to walk in town too.” She muses, her hand on her chin before she nods her head.
“Excellent! Let’s go then!” He quickly grabs her hand and pulls her up, before apologizing for his abrupt action.
…
The usual bustle of the town was even more prominent that day, since the blooming of Sakura trees marked the beginning of the influx of new materials in the market.
There were much more new stands that she wasn’t usually accustomed to seeing, which was a nice change from the quiet that the town sported.
[Name] looked up at Kyojuro, who was busy glancing at all the new food stalls that were around. Back when they were children, she didn’t have to worry about craning her neck up to look at him.
But alas, the woes of puberty hit and he shot up in height like a bamboo sprout.
Although his quick actions and his habit of jumping to conclusions made her question his true age sometimes. Height can be very deceiving.
[Name] turned her gaze away from him as she looked at the stands, a particular jewelry booth catching her attention.
“Would you like something from there?” Kyojuro suddenly speaks up, noticing how she was staring at some of the hair pins that lay displayed on the stand.
“Eh? No, I was just looking. They are quite pretty though.” She says, quickly shaking her hand. But Kyojuro wasn’t going to accept that answer.
“It's alright! If you find them beautiful, then it's only natural you should wear one! I’m sure it’d look wonderful on you!” He says, and before she can retort he drags her to the front of the stand with a radiating excitement.
[Name] stares at the different adornments of jewelry that were put on display. She wasn’t planning on buying anything, but she knew Kyojuro wouldn’t be satisfied if she didn’t truly get a good look at the jewelry. He’d always thought she’d hide her own wants to not burden anyone.
“My my, what’s a graceful lady like you doing checking out my humble shop?” The sudden voice of an old lady speaks out, as they both turn to look at the woman who emerged from the curtain behind the stand.
“Oh, sorry to disturb Miss. I was just looking at your jewelry, I’m sorry to have put your hopes up of me buying anything.” [Name] aplogizes, her head dipping in a tiny bow to the senior.
“No need to apologize. Here, how about you try this one on? I’m sure your husband would agree it would look marvelous on you.”
“Husband?” A small blush appears on her face when she realizes that she had mistaken her and Kyojuro for a couple.
“Oh we’re no-”
“I AGREE! She’d look splendid!” Kyojuro suddenly blurts out, making the old lady let out a small laugh.
[Name] couldn’t help but blush profusely at his erratic action.
She thought she’d be able to brush off this misunderstanding without much thought, but she couldn’t shake off that fluttering feeling in her stomach as she watched Kyojuro converse with the old lady.
Kyojuro took her distraction as an opening to slip the hair pin inside her hair and through her bun, making her snap out of her thoughts and look up at him.
[Name] could only let out a sigh at his childish actions. “Kyojuro? I told you I didn’t need to get anything…”
“It's alright [Name]! Give yourself a treat, just this once.” He says, laughing and moving the hair strands that fell on her face to the back of her ear.
“Oh my god…” She mumbles, pinching the bridge of her nose. Kyojuro pays the old lady, before he turned back to her.
“Let’s get going now shall we?” Kyojuro's word's were followed by an extended hand, waiting for her to take it.
Normally, she’d do so without hesitation.
But something about that confrontation that happened just now made her feel terribly self conscious of him.
She eventually does take his hand, his fingers immediately clasping tightly on hers before they both continue looking for Senjuro.
……………………………………………………………………………………
2 Days Before the Final Selection
The atmosphere in the house was much more tense than usual.
Not to say it was all doom and gloom, but the weight of Kyojuro’s impending departure seemed to gnaw in the back of her head every second she spent with him.
And it didn’t help that these past few weeks he’d been deliberately causing her to feel that sickly sensation in her stomach every time they were in each other’s proximity.
That’s why she’d been avoiding him lately, much to Kyojuro’s dismay.
It wasn’t her fault! Every time they all sat together for lunch he’d make sure to sit close enough so that their knees touched, and not to mention how he always held her hand when they walked no matter the situation.
And how he’d lean in extra close when she was talking so he could hear every word she said, and the way he still offered to braid her hair in a terribly clumsy attempt to try and make it look ‘beautiful’ (his words).
It felt like she was driving herself up a wall.
She couldn’t quite put a finger on why she was feeling this way, and that combined with the dread of how much danger he’d be in during the Final Selection, she felt like she was going to explode.
But Kyojuro was also getting quite distressed on his end.
Why had she been avoiding him these past few days? Every time he’d turn a corner in the hall to see her walking, she’d quickly run in the opposite direction, as if she couldn’t even stand the sight of him.
Her actions kept him up a good portion of the night, and he really felt helpless since he didn’t know what to do.
Until one night…
……………………………………………………………………………………
Night of Kyojuro’s departure
“[Name].” Kyojuro’s voice was lower than usual, his eyes still holding the same burning intensity they always held no matter what they were looking at.
But tonight they were particularly searing.
Tonight was the night he was going to depart on his journey to Mount Fujikasane.
The morning and afternoon were filled with [Name] and Senjuro preparing everything he needed for that day, and with the both of them trying to hold back their tears, but that was mostly Senjuro.
The both of them had been there in the front gate when the sun finally sunk over the horizon to see him off, but he had requested that [Name] come with him for a bit, since he wanted to tell her something.
Of course, she did try to act all nonchalant about it in front of Senjuro, but in reality her heart was beating so fast she wondered if he could hear it.
“Y-Yeah? What did you want to tell me?” She says, cringing at the way her voice cracked the moment she spoke.
His hands suddenly grip her shoulders, the action making her eyes widen as she looks at his hands, then him, then his hands, then him.
He looked pretty serious.
“[Name].” He repeats her name again, this time in an almost reverent tone. “After I leave tonight, I’m going to be fighting for my life for an entire week without knowing the outcome. But I want to be in control of at least one thing before I leave. I don’t want to die regretting this.” He says, his words making her gaze soften with sadness.
“W-What is it? You’re kinda making me scared here…”
“Everyday you were with me in training made me exert myself to the fullest! Not because you pushed me to train harder—um, that too—but because you made me want something I didn’t know I wanted so strongly until now!” He continues, his tone gaining back that usual enthusiasm as his face started becoming redder by the second, his smile trembling at the tips.
“As I said, I don’t know if I’ll make it back, but I wanted you to know, before I leave…”
“No wait what are you-”
“I-”
“Wait wait a sec-”
“I lov-!” His sentence got interrupted as she slammed her hand over his mouth, her face a steaming red and her eyes holding a wild look to them.
“U-Um, I-I, listen, I, hmm, Oh my god, just, I know what you’re about to say, but my goodness! You think this was a good spot to confess! If I let you continue I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle what you said!” She rambles in a flustered tone, her hand not making any movement to leave his mouth.
Suddenly, he moves to grab her wrist, pressing a soft kiss to the palm of her hand and looking up at her with a soft smile, despite his very smug action.
“I’m glad you understand what I’m trying to say! I love you, [Name]! I won’t force a reply out of you now, I simply wanted to tell you my feelings before I leave!” He says with no shame.
It was almost comical how bluntly he was able to say such corny things.
But surprisingly, she quickly wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, burying her face in his shoulder so she could hide her expression.
He could feel the warm sensation of tears start seeping through the fabric of his clothing.
“[Name], look at me.” He pats the back of her head to get her to look up at him.
“I’m not gonna!” Her muffled voice yells out. “You want to wait until now to tell me this? You’re so cruel, you big oaf!”
He let out a boisterous laugh at her words. “What a flashy response to my confession [Name], I am flattered! Come on, look at me [Name]. I want to ask you something.”
She looks up at him with a tear-stricken, frustrated face. The expression made the small blush on his face intensify as he stared at her for a good minute, his face unconsciously moving closer, eyes laser focused on her lips.
“Say something.” She whispers, sniffling as his piercing gaze was starting to make her feel terribly on the spot.
“I’m trying.” He replied, his voice hoarse. “But all I can think about is kissing you right now.”
That sentence was practically the match to an already roaring fire between them.
It didn’t take long for their lips to find each other in a clumsy manner, and it took even less for her arms to wrap around his neck, hands digging in his hair as she stood on her toes to reach him.
She gasped softly against his lips, and he took the chance to pull her even closer, his usual fiery eyes closed in such intense concentration it made her let out a breathy giggle.
The sound of her giddy laugh made him press his lips even harder, like he didn’t want to stop anytime soon.
“[Name]…” He murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “If I come back-”
“You will.” She interrupted, before kissing him again. “Its not an if, you have to. Or I’ll curse you forever for stealing my first kiss.” She berates him, causing him to let out a breathless laugh.
“Don’t laugh! I’m being…Mphh….Serious!” She says through his giddy kisses, the feeling of his lips pressing intensely on hers making her eyes flutter.
“Forigve me [Name], but I am too happy to not!” He boasts, his hold on her getting tighter as he continues to pepper her lips and cheeks with gentle kisses.
Her eyes widen when she feels how little breath she has left, her hand desperately hitting at his shoulder to get him to stop. “Alright, alright! Enough already, come on!”
He pulls away reluctantly, his eyes holding a love sick look to them while he cupped her face.
“[Name], You don’t know how happy I am…” He leaned his forehead down on her shoulder, his hair now pressed to the side of her face.
“Y-Yeah, I can tell, your arms are shaking…” She says nervously, making him laugh again.
“I love you [Name].” The words take her aback and make her tense in his hold.
Her shaky [E/C] eyes meet his. “You’re so straight-forward about it, would it kill you to be a little shy?”
“I am never hesitant when it comes to my feelings, [Name]. I am certain about my feelings for you, more certain than anything else in the world!”
“I…” She starts, pausing for a bit as she looks down to the floor.
If she had to be honest with herself, what did she feel?
Well, if someone asked her, she would say she most definitely could ignore the boundless pounding of her heart and the way his face seemed to be surrounded by a bright light that made him look all the more beautiful.
Yeah, she definitely didn’t hold any romantic feelings for him whatsoever. And she definitely didn’t want to kiss him again.
…
Alright, who was she fooling?
She thanked the gods for making her have shame and dignity.
Because the moment he confessed, she felt like hopping in the air with the utmost joy and equally returning his enthusiasm while proposing they get married and live a happy life together, yadda yadda yadda…
But the little fairytale fantasy in her head gets cut short when he speaks out her name.
“[Name]? What’s wrong? You were saying something.” He says in a lower voice this time, and although he didn’t show it, she could sense the slightest fear of rejection pooling in those red eyes of his.
Her breath hitches when he looks at her so intensely, lips parting while she ponders on what to say.
“...I….I just, d-don’t think I’m…good enough…..for you…”
“WHAT?!” His voice booms out in a sudden yell, his hands clasping hers tightly and his eyes wide with disbelief.
“[Name], don't tell me you actually believe something so disgraceful!” His eyes hurriedly travel all over her face in a panicked manner.
“D-Disgraceful? But it's true isn’t it? I mean…you are a part of the esteemed Rengoku household, and I’m just a street urchin that was picked up…wouldn’t it be more honorable for you to marry someone of equal social standing?” She gulps nervously.
It was true. She had seen in her younger days the scandals many noble people got caught in for getting together with someone who was a mere commoner.
The disgrace and shame they had been put through was something she never wanted Kyojuro to even feel a glimpse of. The mere thought of it made her head hurt.
Suddenly, she felt an arm sling under her, picking her up in a swift motion as her back was suddenly pressed to the tree behind them.
“K-KYOJURO?!” Her startled voice echoes through the grassy clearing around them. She looks at the man who was now holding her up against the tree, her eyes leveled with his.
“Never. I would never allow anyone to speak of you in such a manner. I don’t care what anyone says about me, [Name].” His uncharacteristically stern voice made her flinch before he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers.
She gasped softly into the kiss, her eyes closing when he moved his lips against hers in such a soft manner it made her heart melt. Gosh, what did she do to deserve a man like him?
He slowly pulls away from the kiss.
“Haa….If you keep kissing me so sweetly [Name], I don’t think I’d be able to leave!” He says with a laugh, making her hit his shoulder in embarrassment.
“Goodness just go already!”
“Certainly!”