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It was the sheer awful, physical realness of what Norah heard. The clenching of the preacher's insides that brought that acid up to be fed into the doctor. The heat. The sound of his flesh reacting to its assault. The prayer. The silence.
It came to her with clarity. There was only one way to escape. She'd left the doctor behind to face that thing on his own, and she was doing the same to her friends, but she had no choice. Animal urgency swallowed guilt and Norah reared her head back and met the wall with a strength borne of desperation. Norah had to be destroyed before it could reach her. Before it could use her.
Behind the echoes of that moment, she heard rushing water. She ran. The river could take her body away. There was nowhere safe and so Norah needed to be nowhere. To cease and to become untouchable.
Her heart pounded and her muscles ached. Branches sprung into existence inches from her face in the bleary night, spattering her with dew and peppering her with trailing pinprick scratches that stung like as many insects burrowing into her soft skin. She ran harder, feet meeting rooted ground blindly and she fell, not for the first time, and scrambled her way back up into her sprint.
The roaring of blood in her ears, the buzzing of those cursed insects, the clean thundering of water-- her salvation-- and the echoes of the doctor and Lui's grandmother's dying moments were joined by William. He was calling for her. She couldn't save him. He wouldn't let her save herself. She heard him crashing through the brush behind her and felt a tug at her sweater, which only spurred her to run harder, but he was faster. She came upon the riverbank, bathed in the light of the half-moon, but he was a second too fast and as she threw herself forward, she was yanked back by her shirt. The fabric tightened and her collar dug into her throat, and she screamed.
"Let me go!" she pleaded. "Just let me go."
But he grabbed her with ungentle hands and brought his arms around her, holding her wrists and squeezing her back against his chest. She fought him, but he held tight, so close his panting was as loud as her own in her ear, and each breath pressed him harder into her back where she felt his heart pounding. Norah sobbed.
"Let go," she begged.
"I can't," he said. "I- I've got you. You can- you'll be okay."
Despair bubbled up and Norah wailed. "I can't do this! I can't do this. Let go of me!" She slammed her head back against his and heard an mmf and his grip loosened, but he recovered, and he squeezed her almost painfully now against his necklaces.
"You can do this. I know you can," he promised, and now she felt his warm breath on her neck. His usually flimsy-seeming arms were like a vise and she felt the hopelessness of escape. She slumped back against him, into the rhythmic press of the bottom of his ribcage with each breath under his warm t-shirt. His arms were sleeved, but freckles of blood beaded up on his hands where he'd caught branches on the backswing in his pursuit, and smeared in thin smudges where she'd brushed against them. She lay against him, alternating between limp surrender and desperate struggle, but he held her tight until her racing heart slowed.
"Will..." she whispered.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he said through gritted teeth. "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry, Norah, I'm sorry." His voice half-broke.
"For what?" she asked, so quietly it was almost a thought.
"Norah?" he inhaled sharply. "Are you-- back?"
"What are you sorry for?" she mumbled. The river was a white blur, and the trees were not even silhouettes in the dark without her glasses. She saw only William's hands and the dirt.
"Because you got hurt," he said, and he was beginning to release Norah. Cold, empty air replaced his arms and his warm body behind her. He began to rise, but, seeing Norah still sitting in the dirt, sat down again. "Are you... alright?"
Norah stared at him. He was within arm's reach, but far enough to become blurry to her eyes. She imagined his expression of concern, but she did not see it.
He never touched her. None of the boys did. They helped her climb or squeezed close by her to hide, sure, but their easy casual touch was never extended to her. Probably because she was the girl. They never slapped her back or grabbed her shoulder or tackled her from behind or even high-fived her, really, but neither did she to them. She knew they wanted her around anyway. She knew her friends liked her.
She didn't have much desire for physical affection. Her parents rarely hugged her because, as doctors, they couldn't risk catching a kid's school sicknesses, and they could more than make up for it in words.
But when she felt William it was like he became three-dimensional for the first time. He was no longer just a face and band tee to her; he had a beating heart and ribs and body heat.
"I can't see you without my glasses," she said quietly.
William crawled forward and his familiar face became clear. His eye make-up was smudged on one side, smeared at random on his temple. His gaze searched hers. Norah saw red and white scratches on his cheeks and forehead, and blood dripped from his lip as well as his piercing, which dangled by the chain that was meant to connect it to another.
"Oh, no," she said. She reached for the piercing and William flinched. "Sorry," she said. But although it bled, it wasn't completely torn out-- the post had been pulled through the hole, wrenching free of the back, rather than out through his flesh. She told him that.
"That's... good," he said.
Norah shuddered. Pain was radiating from her forehead across her scalp in alternating hot and cold waves.
"We need to get you to the hospital," said William.
"No." Norah felt certain she could not move from the forest floor.
"W- I- What do you mean, 'no?'"
Norah let her gaze fall to the dirt.
"What do you need? What can I do?"
"Just come here?" Norah asked plaintively.
William crept closer.
Norah nodded.
William hesitated.
Norah put her arms around him.
"Uh-- I can--" William eased her back on to his lap and placed his arms around her awkwardly. Norah closed her eyes.
"Will," she said.
"What? What's happening?" William asked. Norah found his hand with hers. His black nail polish was nearly chipped off from his biting, and his cuticles were terrible, but his palms were soft. In his lap, she was close enough to smell him even through the scents of mycelium and evaporation-aerosolized particles from the river. He smelled like clean laundry and cardboard and black pepper.
"We can go now," she whispered. She didn't drop his hand as they stood, and started their way back to the road. A spell of dizziness overtook her, and she lurched, but William caught and righted her.
"Do you want to talk about what you heard?" William asked quietly.
"Later."
William nodded and they walked in silence for a bit. "When we reach the road, we can ask someone to drive us to the hospital," he said.
Norah shook her head, and the world began to tilt. William caught her again. "I want to walk," she said from his arms.
"If- if that's what you want," he said cautiously.
"Oh. You probably have to catch up with Isaac," she remembered.
"Yeah. After we take you to the hospital."
"Then we have to ask for help."
They fell into silence again.
"Norah... did I do something wrong?" William asked finally.
"No. When?"
"When... uh... never mind." William kept his eyes on the forest floor. Minutes went by before he asked, "you're going to be okay, right?"
"I think so," said Norah. Her head pulsed and her vision went tumbling, but she didn't fall this time.
The two stepped out onto the narrow street. A random stick snapped and went flying, as always seems to happen when one emerges from the woods onto cut grass. No one was outside but them, and the houses' windows were dark. The streetlamps were lifeless as well, leaving Norah still half-blind as they continued.
Norah didn't say anything to William as they knocked on the first house's door.
"My friend needs help! She needs to get to the hospital!" William shouted, to no avail.
"Do you think they're asleep, or do you think they just don't care?" Norah wondered aloud.
"They're probably just asleep," William assured her.
The first time Norah's parents saw her with William, her mom said she was happy Norah was making friends with all kinds of people. The second time, her dad said he was proud she was taking him under her wing. Multiple teachers had pulled her aside and told her how kind she was for talking to him. They didn't know how obvious their benevolent condescension was to him. They definitely didn't know how much he did for this town. They didn't know he and Norah and Isaac and Lui put malevolent spirits to rest in their free time, and that when Norah scored a 96% on a quiz it was because she'd been up all night trying to keep people safe.
"What am I going to tell the doctor?" Norah realized.
William looked at her head wound critically and she cringed. The sight of the brick wall rushing into her and the dull pain the second before her head exploded came back to her. "You... fell?" William suggested.
Norah nodded carefully. "That's good. Simple is better."
William pounded on the next door. After a moment, an unhappy-looking woman opened it. "This better-- oh, my god."
"We need a ride to the hospital," William said. "Can you--"
"Yeah, just let me find my keys," she said, not taking her eyes off Norah. "Jesus Christ." She shut the door and the lights flicked on.
"Do I look bad?" Norah asked William.
William inhaled through gritted teeth. "I wouldn't say you look... bad... but... you... do... look... bad," he said.
Norah raised a hand to her forehead to feel what he was seeing.
"Uhh, maybe don't touch..." William fretted and took her hand again.
"William..."
"Yes?"
"I've been thinking something... but if it goes badly, I need you to help me fix it," Norah said.
"Uh-- how-- how badly?"
Norah shrugged one shoulder. "Can you promise?"
"I can try," he said cautiously.
The woman returned with the keys and they sat in the back seat of her car.
"Can you go around turns slowly?" Norah requested.
When they arrived, the stranger hovered until William said, "I can walk her inside."
They stood a distance from the hospital doors, just outside of where the light spilling out fell. Norah grasped William's arm for support, and he bent awkwardly to catch her in case she began to tip to one side again.
"Ready?" he asked.
It was odd. Her mother had remarked that William seemed only half-present when he'd stayed for dinner at her house once. Norah didn't say anything to that, but she thought of him in his basement among his occult books and esoteric notes. His world only overlapped halfway with that of Norah's parents. The longer Norah ran with him and Isaac and Lui, the more she worried her world was drifting apart from the normal one too.
Her teachers kept telling her that it wasn't her responsibility to help William and his friends. They were afraid they would drag her down academically, she guessed. But she only pictured William in his basement. William half in the daylight world and half in the spirit world. Norah gripped his arm. It wasn't a matter of responsibility. She wanted to keep him partially in the daylight world for herself. This occult world-- the ghosts, the bugs-- couldn't have him. Not completely.
"William," she said. She breathed through the nerves in her stomach. "I want you to-- kiss me, first."
William froze. "That's-- that's gonna be the brain damage. Okay. You're gonna be okay," he said.
Norah's head throbbed with warm pain. She swallowed several times. "Just say no normally. Don't tell me I'm brain damaged," she said.
"That's-- I'm sorry." William looked at her. "I just don't..." His eyes widened almost imperceptibly.
"You thought of something."
"What?"
"I just saw you have an idea," Norah insisted.
"You saw m- that's-- terrifying," William said.
"Tell me," Norah demanded.
"It's-- it's probably nothing, and I just realized it doesn't make sense anyway. Let's go inside," William said.
"William."
"Okay, fine. Here it is. Did you maybe swallow any bugs or vomit in the house?"
Norah trembled. "No?"
"Like, not even just one teeny little bug? Like a fruit fly maybe?"
"I don't think so?"
"Okay. Then- then it's nothing. But I thought maybe it could- make you want to-"
"You think I'm infected?" Norah whimpered.
"No! It was just a thing. And it doesn't make sense because it hasn't been long enough anyway." William searched Norah's eyes.
"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Norah said.
"I-I'll prove I don't think you're infected. If you want me to," he added. He took a shaky breath and kissed Norah.
Norah felt the warm pressure of his mouth on hers for only a second before he pulled away.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Why?"
"'Cause you're brain damaged... not brain damaged... and it's kind of... taking advantage of you, I think," he whispered.
"I don't feel brain damaged," Norah said.
William had another thought. "Have you kissed anyone before?"
"No."
William groaned. "Oh, no."
"What? Is that bad?"
"It's even worse. It means I took your kiss virginity," he explained.
Norah wrinkled her nose. "That's not at thing. And if it is, it's gross. Wait, who else have you kissed?"
"N-no one," William admitted.
Norah raised an eyebrow. "Then it wouldn't count, anyway."
"It-- wouldn't?"
"Yeah, cause-- if you have one--"
"One what?"
"Virginity," Norah explained. "You can't take it if you already have one."
"Really? Wait, but then how did it start? How did someone lose theirs in the first place?"
"Probably like this," Norah suggested.
"I thought that didn't count," William reminded her.
"It didn't. But this will," she said. She put her arms on William's shoulders and stood on her toes to be even with him. In the light of the hospital, his eyeshadow was much more visibly messed up, smeared and smudged and sweated through. His necklaces pressed into her chest as she leaned in. "Maybe open your mouth a little?" she suggested. She did the same.
She half missed his mouth at first, but they corrected, and, haltingly, they began to kiss properly. William flinched when she first experimentally reached her tongue into his mouth, but he leaned forward again. She heard a contended hum from herself that she would have been embarrassed by in front of anyone but William. When they broke apart, he smiled nervously and a breathless laugh escaped her.
"I'm glad we did that," said Norah.
"Me, too," William said. "I- I do have to go catch up to Isaac, though." Norah briefly imagined him being pursued by a swarm of bugs while they kissed. She dismissed the mental image.
"Yeah. William?"
"Yeah?"
"We'll talk, right? Later?"
"Yeah." William nodded and led her into the hospital.