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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-11-05
Words:
100
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
Kudos:
8
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112

Where I Should Have Remained

Summary:

Another of my drabbles that is set between the end of If Wishes Were Horses and the beginning of In Divine Proportion - Barbara's POV.
Inspired by a post on Pinterest by Ticus Poetry/Artofpoets.com, and by the conversation between Tommy and Barbara after Samantha Walthew's funeral.

Notes:

Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended.

Work Text:

Since I woke up from ‘my brush with death’, everyone is telling me how close I came, how lucky I am to still be here.

I smile and nod, keep conversation brief, avoid any interaction that isn’t unavoidable, going through the motions of being Barbara Havers.

Because ‘everyone’ is wrong.

I’m not lucky.

I’ve learnt how it feels to be dead while still walking, to wear a heart that no longer beats, and a soul that no longer feels. One foot in this world, the other in the place where I should have remained.

And that’s not living. It’s waiting.