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Hama’s House of Fuckery

Summary:

Visiting Hama Ran is easy. Surviving the day in it though? Harder than you would expect.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter Text

It felt stupid now that they’ve pulled up in front of Hama Ran’s house. Ken was dropping Kazutoshi off for the day while Ken does yet another quiz show. It’s not like they need the money, but he won’t stop his partner from doing what he loves most; being right.

“I’ll text you later tonight when I’m on my way back to pick you up! You think you’ll manage?”

Kazutoshi scoffs at the question. It’s not like Hama is bad company. He’s more worried about the rest of the family. He’s never met the infamous mother and sister despite all of the times Hama has asked him to come over. It was a matter of convenience this time. The filming of the show was close enough to Hama’s place and Kazutoshi would much rather see what Hama’s been up to than go to the taping or hang out in the hotel room. He still persistently asked Ken if it was okay if he went to the quiz show by himself, and in turn Ken asked Kazutoshi over and over again if it was okay that he ‘abandoned’ him at Hama’s for the day.

“It’s just Hama and his family. Honestly out of everyone in our fucked up group his family is gonna be a breeze. Meeting Rui’s parents I had to hold my tongue the entire five minutes I saw them.”

The one instance he was visiting Ruiko her parents freaked out on him. They spent the day together and when he walked her to her front door he was greeted with pissed parents who had no idea who and why he was with their daughter. Ruiko managed to calm them down and get them in the house, however she still signaled him to get out of there before it escalated further. Now Ruiko exclusively visits Kazutoshi and Ken’s home.

Ken chuckles before checking the Rolex Kazutoshi and Nakamigawa forced him to get. He lost track of time easily and was in suits more often than not, so it was a purchase that needed to be made even though Ken protested the idea entirely.

“I should have more than enough time to get there! Please text me if you need anything. I still have my manager on standby so they’ll be monitoring my phone just in case. Please don’t hesitate-“

“Ken, I won’t hesitate only if it’s an emergency. I’m sure Hama won’t let me die while I’m at his place. Go do your show and come back to me on one piece. That’s all you have to do.”

Ken lets out the breath he’s been keeping on standby. While he has been working on his anxiety, he still will spiral whenever Kazutoshi is away for too long. Somehow when he’s blunt like that and says it how it is, it somehow calms him down.

“R-Right. Sorry. You know how I am. I’ll make sure to win, pick you up, and then we can celebrate by going to bed the moment we get back to the hotel.”

It was music to Kazutoshi’s ears. He knows his social battery will be completely empty by the time Ken gets back and he will want nothing more than to shower and go to bed. His bangs brush his forehead as he moves towards the brunette.

“I look forward to it. Go kick ass and tell me how stupid everyone is later when we’re in bed. Okay?”

Ken knows exactly what he wants. Lips brush onto his for a moment before Ken turns to the side and accepts another parting kiss on his cheek. Kazutoshi’s gloved hand grazes the shaved side of his partner’s hair, admiring the handiwork he did the night prior. It never gets old whenever he sees Ken’s alternative haircut on TV surrounded by suits and smiles. Makes him stand out even more against the competition who can’t out smart the teenager, now young adult, after all these years.

“Of course. Venting to you at the end of the day is always my favorite part. I would never miss it.”

He begins to lean over Kazutoshi, planting a kiss on his head and then his left cheek.

“I love you, Kazutoshi.”

The smaller boy’s heart begins to burst. He will never get tired of hearing that. Never.

“Love you too, Ken.”

It didn’t feel right until they kissed once more, somehow sealing the promise that they’ll see each other later that night. They let themselves kiss a few seconds longer than necessary before Kazutoshi pulls away.

“Okay Cassanova, go get your ass on the road.”

Kazutoshi grabs his backpack and opens the door. Before he could close it he sees Ken turn into a sad puppy dog face that kind of reminds him of Shigeki when he’s being pathetic.

“Ken don’t give me that look. We will be fine. If you have free time later you can call me but only if you need some support.”

That gets a blinding smile out of Ken. If he was a dog, Kazutoshi could only assume his tail would be wagging.

“O-Okay! I’ll try my best.”

After a nervous wave, Ken drives away in the rental car they have for the time they’re in Fukuoka. He’s glad that their parting wasn’t as rough as some of the ones in the past were. After they were kidnapped into a killing game and were rescued by the skin of their teeth, they’ve hated being apart for too long. It’s a fear they’ve expressed to each other before, where one day saying goodbye will be their last goodbye. It’s been only a few short years and yet the scars remain physically and mentally. Kazutoshi could never be mad when Ken gets clingy, he’s guilty of it too.

The house in front of him was the most white picket fence shit he’s seen, minus the actual white picket fence. It looked incredibly normal. No one would believe him if he said the expert on demons lived here. The front was decorated with flowers and random ornaments that adorn the door and around the mailbox. He’s glad he could read the Hama surname before pressing the doorbell to be let in. He didn’t hear anyone coming in the first few seconds and contemplated ringing it again before a young girl answered the door.

“Hello! I’m assuming you’re one of Ran’s friends?”

Kazutoshi nods, questioning the wording of what she said. It’s almost as if she wasn’t expecting a singular person, but instead multiple people.

“Yeah, I’m Kamimura Kazutoshi.”

The girls eyes widen and opens the door further letting him in. He noticed the crutches she’s on, remembering a long time ago that Hama did mention what she had. Spina… Bifida or something like that?

“Ran has told me so much about you! You’re the crime scene cleaner guy, right? But you’re in college now studying… what was it again?”

Kazutoshi steps in, hating what is implied with Hama apparently spilling things about him to someone he doesn’t know. Granted he shouldn’t know her medical condition in the first place, feeling as though a person’s medical history is sacred knowledge, so he will let this bit of information on him roll off his back.

“I’m studying Forensics. I wanna be the guy who gets the samples from crime scenes and analyze them in a lab.”

There was so much more to Forensics, but Kazutoshi wasn’t going to take up her time.

“That’s so cool! I’m still trying to figure out what I’m doing for the rest of my life, but that’s a future me problem.”

The interior of the house was much bigger than the exterior. The ceilings were tall and the hallways to other rooms were wide. The younger sister leads him upstairs to a bedroom that the door was already open on.

“Ran, Masami, Kamimura is here!”

Upon looking inside the room, everything confused Kazutoshi. The room was absolutely nothing like the rest of the house. It was black and red accented yet it was welcoming with how homey it was set up. Pieces of art were framed around the room instead of metal posters he would have expected with the color scheme. Instead of satanic symbols with candles surrounding it, there was an electric wax warmer making the room smell like cinnamon apples. In the middle of the room sat Hama on the ground along with manga littering the table in front of him. What’s even weirder is the girl sitting right next to him that’s giving him big and beady eyes.

“Hi.” Ran responds at Kamimura’s arrival.

Kazutoshi’s eyebrows furrow, trying to make sense of the other person in the room.

“Hi... What’s going on in here?”

The girl looks incredibly familiar but he couldn’t place his finger on it. She looks intimidated to talk to him, which forces Hama to speak again.

“We were just talking about manga until you arrived.”

An eyebrow gets raised in response, still confused. Hama is of no help, so he addresses the timid girl instead.

“Okay… and you are?”

The girl begins to the stand up from the table. She’s much smaller than Kamimura, however she’s dressed nicer than he is. Is this another sister that he wasn’t aware Hama had? He could have sworn he only had one.

“O-Oh hi um. You probably d-don’t recognize me anymore. I go by Masami now. U-Uh that’s Wada, Masami.”

It instantly clicks in the crime scene cleaners brain. Those big and beady eyes were familiar and the exact same ones he saw all those years ago. Except this time those eyes have eyeliner and mascara.

“Oh shit, Wada? You look completely different last time I saw you.”

The last time he saw Wada was about a year after they all got out. It was Chiba’s idea to have a one year reunion of surviving the killing game. He never cared to reach out to anyone from the game except for a handful of people. Wada was definitely not on his list, but he’s not going to be a dick about her transition.

“You look a lot happier.”

The usual nervous aura that Wada always seemed to have somehow vanished. He never remembered Wada smiling before, and now her smile lights up the room.

“Thank you! I’m glad you’re not like, weird about it.

Hama closes the manga he was holding, shifting himself to stand with the others.

“Nah, I told you Toshi wouldn’t care. He’s an asshole, not a dick.”

Kazutoshi chuckles. It’s the blunt and honest truth about him.

“Yep, that’s exactly how I would describe myself.”

Wada giggles, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

“Sorry about the apprehension. To be honest, we never interacted much before. I could only remember the yelling matches you’ve had with Nagawa and Tamba.”

Kazutoshi shrugs his shoulders.

“I only yell at freaks that deserve it. Nakamigawa deserves it every single time and Rui I swear doesn’t even know what she’s arguing for half the time. Now of days Nakamigawa isn’t as big as a pain and Rui and I bicker more like siblings.”

The big and beady eyes return, now somehow in awe of what he’s saying.

“Who do you talk to still from back then? It seems like you’re close with Nagawa like I am, but also Tamba?”

Kazutoshi tries to recollect exactly who he keeps in contact with. He thought it would be a shorter list, yet saying the names out loud was surprising to him.

“Nakamigawa and Takeshi I see a lot since Ken and I live close to Tokyo. Ruiko I’ll see whenever we both have a free weekend. Obviously Hama and I text, and Mai and Shigeki once in a while we’ll see them. I don’t contact anyone else unless it’s a party of some sort, though I think Ken is still in contact with Isono?”

There was one time Isono asked Ken to be apart of a livestream which he politely declined. Every once in a while she still jokes about it through text messages hoping one of these days he’ll change his mind.

Wada laughs, the smile starting to be more familiar than the old nervous one the albino used to wear.

“Miki has told me she’s been trying to have Hasegawa on a stream. She thinks a quiz show for charity would do numbers, but I don’t think she realizes no one else would sign up if Hasegawa was their opponent.”

His bangs bounce as his head tilts back in laughter.

“Pfft yeah, no rando would wanna face him if they knew what he was capable of. But who knows, that might be the fucked up appeal about going against a quiz show champion. See if they can be the one to dethrone him.”

He might just talk Ken into the livestream. Now he can definitely see the appeal of sad sacks getting annihilated by his partner.

Wada tilts her head.

“Are you and Hasegawa still close then? From what it sounds like you guys still are.”

“I sure fucking hope so.”

Part of him wanted to throw up at what he was about to show the other two in the room, but this was a huge part of why he decided to visit Hama. At least with Wada she will tell the others and it becomes less work for him and Ken.

He begins to take off his left glove, trying to make sure the fabric doesn’t snag on the way. Sitting on his ring finger was both his engagement and wedding rings. Gasps filled the room and all of a sudden Wada was much closer and gawking at his hand.

“You’re married!? Congratulations! The rings are gorgeous!”

While Wada was enamored, Hama was more hesitant.

“I’m happy for the both of you, but how did you guys get married in Japan?”

Hama still gets closer to look at the rings. Even though Kazutoshi said he didn’t want anything too fancy, Ken partially ignored the request. They were still subtle rings all things considered, yet any jeweler would know the many pretty penny’s that were spent on them.

“We’re not realized by the government, but that doesn’t stop us. We eloped and didn’t invite the Japanese administration is all.”

The ceremony itself was just them, his aunt, and Ken’s family. Kazutoshi could’ve invited friends, but he wanted it to be small and go smoothly. Nakamigawa did make nice suits for them despite not being invited to the event.

“It’s only been a few weeks so I’m still new to all of this, but I figured I should at least tell friends about it. Also, if either of you tell anyone outside of our fucked up trauma bonded friend group, I have the right to murder you.”

Wada shakes her head, making eye contact instead of ring contact.

“O-Oh we would never! Besides, I think we’re all anti-murdering each other after what we all went through together.”

Hama snorts at the comment as he scratches his neck.

“Dang Toshi, didn’t think you would incriminate yourself to be the ‘blackened’ so easily. Might have to vote for you at the trial.”

The group laughs at the gruesome joke, however Kazutoshi glares at both of them again soon after.

“Okay you need to stop calling me Toshi. Can’t believe that stupid ass nickname is still following me.”

Hama begins to pat him on the back, shaking his head as if he was disappointed in the smaller boy.

“I’ll only stop if you actually start calling us by our names. Like, seriously? After all these years and you’re still calling us by our family names? That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

The albino nods furiously, trying her best to look mean.

“R-Right! Please call me Masami from now on! I know we’ve never been close, but I don’t care about formalities and we all have known each other for so long!”

Kazutoshi sighs. He hates it when other people have good points.

“Ugh, fine. Reminder, it’s Kazutoshi, not Toshi. If any of you refer to me as Toshi I will revert back to formalities and tell you to go fuck yourselves.”

No complaints were thrown. Everything was going well all things considered. Masami was a curveball, but Kazutoshi can handle the mousey girl as a surprise element to his day. He’s just glad that it wasn’t any of the loud ones of the group dropping in for a surprise visit. He was about to question why Masami was here in the first place, yet had to hold his tongue as a girl behind him knocks on the door frame.

“Ran! Nishi is here!”

The sister from before moves away to reveal none other than Watari Nishino; one of the loudest motherfuckers Kazutoshi knows.

“Heyyy! Good to see a new face around here! It’s been so long! Oh my God, your hair is so longgg! You should let me braid it later~!”

He couldn’t control his facial expressions this time. Watari has always been too much for him and he couldn’t suppress his mouth this time.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Ran swats at his arm.

“Hey, she’s a guest just like you are.”

Kazutoshi crinkles his face further. His nose flaring as he speaks.

“I guess I’m confused on how I show up and suddenly it feels like a class reunion I didn’t consent to. Seriously, how many people are showing up today?”

Watari moves past Kazutoshi, greeting Ran with a hug first before speaking.

“I’m an esteemed guest here! I drop in whenever I can and get the little sister treatment while I’m around. If anything, you’re a surprising guest here, Kamimura!”

Masami moves closer to Kazutoshi. She speaks normally, but compared to Watari it’s at a much lower volume.

“I-I’ve been living here temporarily until Miki and I figure out our living situation. There’s been problems with our current place and we’re trying to decide if it’s worth fixing the place up or moving somewhere else.”

Hearing the both of them state their case, he calms down. He was mainly peeved since he wanted to have one on one time with Ran and seeing others here shoots that idea in the head. Yet he can’t justify being mad at two people that are welcomed in the home much more than him.

“Okay fine, you two get a pass. I swear to God though if there is anymore people popping today I might lose it.”

The room laughs at the absurdity of it all. It really is a weird group, and he hopes that the rest of the day will go smoothly .

Little did he know that it’s never that simple in Hama Ran’s house.