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April 2nd, 2026. After ages of anticipation, McFly and Lovejoy finally decided they would collaborate and do a show together. Also Roland James is there too, he’s cool. Joe (this is not Goldsmith.) and Mug were OG McFly x Lovejoy fans, they had predicted they would do a show together. Little did they know… they also predicted THE POLYAMOUROUS RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS TO BE THE OUTCOME OF THIS SHOW.
Backstage, both Ash and Dougie were panicking in their separate green rooms. They were both horrified of messing up in front of the other band… in front of… each other.
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“Ash, man. There’s no need to panic. It’s just Tom, Danny, Harry, & Dougie.” Joe (GOLDSMITH.) told the bassist, clapping him on the back. “You’ll do fine.”
Dougie…
Ash had always looked up to Dougie, he was the bassist he wanted to be and more. His fingers gliding against the strings of his dinosaur bass with such ease Ash could hardly imagine himself doing. Something he could imagine was Dougie’s warm, calloused hands running up his torso… but no. He couldn’t imagine the man in such a way, he had to focus. They were on first anyway.
Ash, Joe, and Mark all walked on stage— Wilbur following them shortly.. Ash was sweating buckets, he knew 𝓓𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓲𝓮... could be watching at any moment.
But little did he know? Dougie was watching. Intently.
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After Lovejoy had finished their performance, it was finally McFly’s turn to go on. Ash had awkwardly insisted that they played Sex Sells WITH McFly after they finished their solo. Which the band thought was… odd; but Ash doesn’t ask for much, so they complied.
Ash watched as McFly escaped from the ground of the stage, jumping right into their first song— All About You. The song Tom wrote in dedication to his (then) girlfriend as a last minute valentine’s day present. Tom might’ve been thinking about his wife as they played, but Dougie certainly wasn’t.
He was thinking about Ash… his long and luscious hair, his big red and black bass, his beautiful eyes he hid behind his sunglasses. He was all Dougie wanted right now, but no… he couldn’t. He had to keep his cool infront of the indie band.
McFly finished their set, walking off to their greenroom to rest during intermission. As they crossed paths, they all gave eachother a small nod— obviously trying to conserve their energy for stage.
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After a 20-30 minute interval, Lovejoy walked back on stage— some booing (Joe), some cheering (Mug). They started up a song, but paused.
OH MY GOD (kit reference), McFly emerged from the floor. Dougie escaped the stage floor right beside Ash, they both flushed awkwardly. Wilbur and Tom gathered the attention of the severely flushed band and called for them to play Sex Sells.
The song sounded ethereal with double the backing vocals and double the instruments, the crowd was having the time of their life— especially Mug and Joe.
As they neared the finish of Sex Sells— Wilbur and Tom harmonised beautifully. Ash and Dougie were both also frotting with their guitars.
“They say sex sells, I know that!”
Dougie and Ash made eye (i) contact, it was time. They both let their basses rest around their shoulders as they leaned in, connecting their lips. They wrapped their arms around eachother intimately.
Mug and Joe looked at eachother and squealed, linking hands and kissing. BUT THEN OH MY GOD?? The gig finished, and they were invited backstage. Mug kissed with Joe and Lovejoy, and Joe kissed with McFly and Mug. Then the big orgy happened 3000 years down the line. They all lived happily ever after ❤️❤️❤️. And Roland James won 35 Oscar Awards.