Work Text:
Shouta leaned back on his couch, drink in hand as he watched Kayama and Yamada do something on his phone. He was against them making him a dating profile, but after they threatened to use their Quirks on him, he relented. He figured that fighting them would be too much effort.
"Looks like we'll have to take some new pictures. Aizawa only takes pictures of cats," Yamada commented. After he said that, he pointed Shouta's phone toward him, and a second later, the camera shutter sounded. "Good enough."
Kayama took Shouta's phone into her own hand as she took a sip of wine. "What do you think he should put for a bio? We need to make him seem interesting."
Yamada nodded. "Mention he likes cats. Ladies like a guy who likes cats."
Kayama set down her glass and began typing. "How's this?" she asked, showing the phone to Yamada.
He nodded, grinning. "Perfect." He took the phone from her again and began looking through it. "Hobbies? Let's put reading. He does that sometimes."
Shouta rolled his eyes as he took a drink of wine. Sure, he liked reading, but he wouldn't say it was a hobby of his.
"Don't forget working out. People like a man with muscle," Kayama added.
Sighing, Shouta started to tune the pair out as Sushi jumped onto the couch next to him. He held his hand out and scratched his neck. Sushi began to purr, walking onto his lap to get closer. Shouta smiled as he started kneading his lap, ignoring the feeling of his sharp claws on his thighs.
Another camera shutter sounded, and Shouta's head shot up. Yamada was holding Shouta's phone up, a wide grin on his face. "That picture is perfect," he said. Shouta ignored him, deciding it wasn't worth it to entertain anything that they were doing.
By the time Kayama and Yamada had finished his dating profile, the moon was out, and Shouta was done with his glass of wine. Kayama made him promise to not get drunk, because she wanted him to remember this night. He was just reaching forward to pour himself his second glass of the night when Kayama shoved his phone in his face.
"What do you think?" she asked.
It took Shouta a few seconds to comprehend what she was asking, and when he finally did, he found himself reluctant to take his phone. He maneuvered his hand past his phone, grabbing the wine to pour himself a glass. Not perturbed, Kayama got off the couch and moved to sit down right next to him, Yamada following suit seconds later. Once Shouta was squeezed between them, he finally decided to look at their work.
He took his phone and scrolled through the profile they made him. The only pictures were the ones they took of him earlier, and he didn't look any way appealing in either. Frowning, he scrolled further. His bio was simple, stating his love for anything feline related. They also listed his hobbies. Reading, going to cat cafes, and working out. After that, they had answered some prompts. My ideal date is…They put "Going for a long walk and then going home and cuddling after." Shouta raised an eyebrow. Where on Earth did they get that from?
The next few prompts had answers just as inane as that one, and when he was done looking through the profile, he set his phone down, shaking his head. Kayama and Yamada both had expectant looks on their faces.
"What do you think?" Kayama asked. "Do you like it?"
"It's absurd," Shouta answered. "This doesn't even describe me. It won't even work."
Yamada laughed. "That's why you talk to people. You don't just match with someone, and then go on the date immediately. You get to know them!"
Shouta scoffed. "Me? Talking to people? Do you happen to have me mixed up with someone else?"
"Here, let's start swiping to see if anyone likes you," Kayama said, picking the phone up again. Before Shouta could argue, she began looking through other peoples' profiles, swiping every which way. She and Yamada weren't giving Shouta a chance to even look at the people before they decided whether or not they were a good fit for him. He huffed and leaned back, taking a long sip of wine.
Cheers brought Shouta out of his stupor. He sat up as they shoved his phone in his face. "You got a match!" Kayama exclaimed. "That was quick."
Shouta's stomach dropped, and he suddenly didn't want to be there. He'd rather be in his own bed, curled up with the window open, the sounds of the city lulling him to sleep. He pushed away Kayama's hand and stood up. "I should go," he muttered as he reached for his jacket hanging next to the door.
"But it's just getting good," Yamada whined.
"It's getting late, and we work tomorrow," Shouta said, voice slightly shaky. Once he got his jacket on, he walked back toward the pair, holding his hand out. Kayama furrowed her brows before sighing and handing him his phone.
"At least take a look, okay?"
"Sure. Whatever," Shouta said.
The moment Shouta walked through his front door, he relaxed. The feeling of dread left his body as he toed off his shoes, leaving them placed neatly in his genkan. He hung his jacket up and walked toward his bed where he laid down, melting into the soft mattress. He recently washed his sheets, so they were extra soft. He pressed his face into the pillow, huffing the fresh scent. Reluctantly, he stood up to get changed.
Once he was in his pajamas, he laid back down in bed, this time under the covers. The window was slightly ajar, letting in the cool autumn air. He closed his eyes, and he was just about to drift off when an unfamiliar noise sounded from his phone. He opened his eyes to check what is was. When he opened his phone, he was annoyed to see it was a notification from the dating app Kayama and Yamada got him. His match had sent him a message. Out of curiosity, he opened the message. It read, Hi.
Shouta's finger hovered over the back button, but he decided to bite the bullet and check her profile. It was a woman, and her name was Haruyo. She was twenty-eight years old, and she worked as a data analyst at a company Shouta had never heard of. She had one cat, an elderly tabby named Donut. Donut was pretty cute, Shouta could admit. Still, he couldn't bring himself to reply to her. He looked at her picture again. She had glasses and a brown bob that didn't do much to cover the scales on her neck. He couldn't decide if she was cute or not. Maybe she wasn't his type.
He exited out of their messages after he decided he didn't like her. Perhaps he could indulge Kayama and Yamada by looking at some other profiles. After some searching, he found the page with other profiles. The first one to pop up was a man who had large claws for hands. After a quick glance at his profile, Shouta passed on him. And then the next person, and then the next, and the next.
He was just about ready to throw his phone after the tenth person he passed on. Instead, he pushed his blanket off and sat up. He maneuvered in the dark until he found, on his counter, his cigarettes and lighter. He picked them up and took them to his balcony where he put a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it.
He didn't smoke a lot. Only when he was really stressed, so he felt it was stupid that he was smoking right now. He wondered what had him so strung up this time. Surely, it couldn't be because of the dating profile. He brought the cigarette to his lips again and took a long drag.
Looking up, Shouta analyzed the clouds in the sky. In the dark, they looked blue. He frowned as his mind was overtaken with emotions. He looked down, away from the clouds, to hopefully clear his head of the sadness that comes with looking at them, but unfortunately it was too late. He already looked up. He already began to remember.
Shouta took a deep breath as he fought off memories of Oboro Shirakumo. It had been years, but the wound still felt as fresh as it was on the day he died. That day, he didn't just lose Shirakumo. He lost his chance at having a perfect future. The agency they wanted to open, the memories they would've made, the people they would've saved. Shouta wanted to grow old with him. He had never loved anyone as deeply as he loved Shirakumo.
Just days before he died, Shouta was planning on how to confess his feelings for him, but he never got the chance, and he even burned the letter he wrote. He chuckled thinking of how ironic it was. He loved Shirakumo. He could even go as far as to say he was in love with him, but he couldn't seem to conjure up the same love for anyone else. It was as if he was all out of love to give. He went from wanting to spend his life with someone to wanting to spend it alone, and he didn't know why.
Shouta took another long drag of the cigarette. He wouldn't admit it, but sometimes he was jealous of how easy it was for Kayama and Yamada to get into relationships. It seemed like they were in a new one every week. Shouta, however, remained an arm's length from everyone.
Reaching into his pocket, Shouta grabbed his phone again. He opened the app once more and looked through a few more profiles. He just couldn't bring himself to find anyone attractive. He couldn't imagine flirting, and he definitely couldn't imagine having sex with any of them. In fact, the thought of that made him feel sick. Finally, he closed out of the app and deleted it.
His mind wandered back to Shirakumo. What if he was the one? What if he was the only person Shouta was meant to be with? Or maybe he was just broken. Maybe Shirakumo was a fluke, and he really wasn't able to love someone like that. If he hadn't died, would Shouta be happy in a relationship with him? Would he want to go on long walks with him and cuddle afterward? The idea of doing that with Shirakumo seemed so far away. He's been gone for a long time, and Shouta had forgotten his smile and the touch of his hand. If Shirakumo came back today, would he still love him as much as he did back then?
Frustrated, Shouta took one last drag of the cigarette before putting it out. He walked back inside, letting himself fall onto his bed. He rubbed his eyes with his fists before shoving his face into the pillows. This is why he didn't want to make a stupid profile on that stupid app. He knew he was broken from the start, but they insisted. Shouta couldn't love. He used up all his love the day Shirakumo died. He was content with being alone, and he wished they would understand that.
Still, tears threatened to break through his eyes. He wasn't sure if it was from frustration, anger, or something else. Perhaps it was from thinking about Shirakumo too much. Sometimes his memory would bring tears, despite his best efforts. Taking a deep breath, Shouta got back under the covers, curling into a fetal position. He tried to calm his breathing so he could get to sleep.
He couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to have someone sleep next to him, but the thought only made him uncomfortable. He remembered staying the night at Shirakumo's house in high school and being so nervous to sleep next to him in bed. Back then, it seemed so intimate, even though they had their backs to each other the entire night. Shouta couldn't sleep then; he was too flustered. If only he got to grow up alongside Shouta. He often wondered what could've been if he got to confess. What would've happened if Shirakumo hadn't taken Shouta's ability to love with him when he died.
Taking another deep breath, Shouta decided to think about cats so he could finally sleep. It didn't help to think about how he was broken. Living in a world where people could love so freely while he struggled to even find people pretty wasn't easy. All he could do was hold onto the final embers of love he had for his deceased friend. The last person he loved.