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You watched as the water shook in Josh’s hands, the shaky appendages bringing the glass to his lips as he gulped down the water. His adam’s apple bobbed with his anxiety as he apologized to you, never meeting your eyes with his.
“What’re you apologizing for?” You leaned on your wrist, elbow on the table, “It’s okay to be nervous, you know.” Josh nodded and you sipped your soda, not nearly as nervous as Josh was. You couldn’t blame him, you had been out on dates with other men before but Josh? You were fairly certain that he had never been on a date with a man.
“Is this your first date with a… A…” The word was hidden behind Josh’s lips and you shifted in your seat, glancing at a waiter that was walking by with food.
“A man? No. I’ve dated men pretty much my whole life,” You shrugged, “What about you, Josh? Tyler told me you hadn’t been on a date in a long time, but have you ever been out with a man?” He shook his head, stuttering before replying.
“No, uh, no I haven’t. All women until tonight. I just recently told Tyler I’m bisexual, so he decided to set us up to help me try it out.” You nodded and grinned at the nervous boy.
“Look, you don’t have to be so nervous. I’m not going to bite. It’s just like going out with a girl, except I’m not a girl. Treat me like you would treat a woman, but we’re going dutch on the bill.” He nodded and seemed to relax, his shoulders losing their tense stance.
“I just feel like I’m not living up to your standards,” Josh confessed, bringing the glass of water to his lips again, “You’ve dated guys before and I’m sort of, well, new to this.” Your eyes were glued to the glass against his lips, wanting to be that glass.
“You are exceeding them, Mr. Dun. By far the most attractive man I’ve been out with in years; plus, you’re pretty talented on the drums and, from what Tyler tells me, very funny.” He blushed, looking down at the table, “Don’t worry about my past boyfriends, Josh. I don’t care about them anymore. The only reason I’m here right now is because I’m genuinely interested in you and I think there’s a possibility that I would like to go on more dates. If you would, that is.” He nodded.
“Yeah, this isn’t so bad. Once I get over the nerves and everything,” Josh cut himself short as the waiter brought the both of you your orders. Josh’s eyes fell to the table when the waiter clicked his tongue at you dismissively. You rolled your eyes, grabbing your fork and knife, ready to dig in.
“Don’t worry about the waiter,” You mumbled, “Happens all the time. I can get married, but God forbid I take my date to a well lit, public place.” Josh picked up on the bitterness in your tone, years of shit like that wearing down on you.
“I don’t mind,” Josh locked eyes with you, “I don’t really care, either. Our lives are not his. All he sees is a thirty second glimpse and makes assumptions. Us? We know what’s going on. We know what we’re doing isn’t wrong.”
“You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you? Being gay, I mean.”
“Bisexual,” Josh corrected with a firm voice and a nod of the head. He took a bite of his steak and chewed slowly, “And yeah, I have. There were years of my life that I rejected the idea that I was attracted to men until it ate me up inside. I just couldn’t reject that part of myself.” You nodded, having gone through something similar yourself.
“It’s strange, coming into your skin, isn’t it? It was the hardest part from me.” The steak was heavy on your tongue and you smiled at Josh when you realized he was watching your lips close around the fork, sliding the meat into your mouth.
“Yeah,” He cleared his throat and took another drink, emptying his glass, “Yeah, it is. Being more open about it is weird, too. Me, being out on a date with a man? I never thought that I would make it this far.” You nodded.
“I’m glad you did, really. I’m glad you’re here with me. You’re wonderful, even though I think Tyler’s description of you is a little biased.” Josh cocked and eyebrow and smiled.
“How so?”
“Well,” You drawled, “Tyler said that you were ‘the best looking man on the planet’ who ‘has the most ripped body you’ll ever see.’ Then he told me, and I quote, that I would be ‘oh so lucky to see that man with his shirt off.’” Josh flushed and you watched it crawl up his face and underneath his shirt. Vaguely, in a flash of sexual frustration, you imagined what it would be like to run your hands down his toned chest, but you batted the thought off. Josh was nervous enough being on a date with you, as is, you needn’t flaunt your confidence in his face by mentioning something sexual.
“I’m going to kill him,” Josh let a laugh out, his body shaking with the giggles. His laugh lit up his eyes and it made you laugh as well. His laugh made your stomach turn, but in a good way. Josh truly was everything Tyler had said he was, and more. Maybe, at the end of the night, you would ask Josh on another date, which would maybe lead to another. You were excited at the thought, but tried to keep your heart from fluttering. You would only pursue something further if Josh wanted to.
“Please don’t, Tyler is a rather good friend of mine. And then you’d be short a lead singer,” You teased Josh and he nodded.
“And short a best friend,” He pointed out, “But I might have to beat him up for making me seem so much better than I actually am.” You shook your head and looked down at your meals, surprised that the both of you had already almost consumed all of it.
“If anything, Tyler underplayed you, Josh. Honestly, I think this is the best date I’ve been on in years. Ever, even.” Once again, your compliment made Josh flush. He also seemed to notice that the meals were almost done with, seeming disappointed that the date would also be ending soon. “You’re a wonderful conversationalist, Josh.”
“And you’re so formal,” His face was bright red, seemingly brought on by the compliments you were feeding him.
“I was raised a formal man, Josh. I was taught to respect women, but here I am, on a date with a man. It would be a shame if I let those lessons go to waste.” He nodded, taking the last bite of his steak. “Shame the meal has to end so early. Do you have a ride home?” Josh wiped his mouth and pulled out his wallet as you did, splitting the bill. He shook his head.
“I’m supposed to message Tyler and tell him when we get done, but my phone died so I guess I’m taking a taxi home.” You shook your head, lips pulled into a line.
“No,” Your voice was firm, “Use my phone, or I’ll give you a ride. It wouldn’t be a proper date if I let you take a taxi home when I have a perfectly good car sitting outside of this restaurant and a cell phone with a full battery life.” He nodded, smiling nervously at you, “I’m sorry if I came on a bit strong. This guy I dated a couple years back left me at a Buffalo Wild Wings six miles away from my house with no phone, no car and no money because he paid for everything and then broke up with me there. I walked home and cried myself to sleep that night. I don’t want to be that man.” Josh nodded.
“No, man, it’s fine. I get it. If I give you my address you’re not going to dump it all over the internet, right? I’ve got people that would probably literally kill to get into my house.” You raised your eyebrows.
“I forgot you were famous,” You admitted, standing up and gathering your coat, phone and keys. Josh stood, too, stretching and looking like he was relieved that you had forgotten, “It’s strange to think that your name is known around the world and here you are, sitting in a restaurant with me.”
“Besides on stage and my house there’s honestly no place that I would rather be. This has been a very good night.” He waved goodbye to the man who opened the door for the pair of you and shivered when he stepped into the chilled, night air. You lead him to your car and opened the passenger door for him, “A gentleman, too. Remind me to thank Tyler.” You smiled and shut the door, jogging around the front of the car and laughing to yourself. Josh was something else. You settled yourself against the chilled leather, starting the car before looking over at Josh.
“I think I have to send Tyler a personal thank you note,” The car rolled smoothly, and for once you were glad you had sprung for the newer model that rode smoother and kept the cab more silent, “I had a great time.” You slowed at a red light and looked at Josh, who was blushing again under the streetlights.
“Do you understand how many times you’ve made me blush tonight? It’s unreal,” He bolstered, “Nobody has ever made me feel this flustered.” You tapped the steering wheel, seeing Josh’s street and turning on it.
“Then I’m doing a good job at making my way into your head. That’s what makes you ask me out again, you know. Can’t get your mind off of me,” You teased him and put your car into park, turning off the ignition. “Let me walk you in.” He nodded and exited the car before you could get the door for him. You shoved your hands in your pocket, following him up the walk to his door where he stopped and turned back to you.
“I had a great time tonight. I’d love to see you again,” Josh’s teeth were too fast for his tongue, stuttering over his words, “If you would like to, that is.”
“I would love to,” You nodded, subconsciously leaning toward Josh, “Tonight was really fun, Josh. Thought, I think I’ll have to go home and look up your band. See what the fuss is all about.” Josh’s eyes widened and he held up his hands.
“No, don’t!” He rushed out, “I mean, okay, I was thinking that you could, uh, maybe come over and listen to it with me? I’ve got all our albums on vinyl and Tyler told me you liked listening to records.”
“Josh,” Your lips turned up slyly and you squinted at him, “Are you asking me out?” He nodded shyly.
“I figured that you could come over and I could cook dinner and we could sit around and listen to my band and see if you like us or not.” You nodded, full blown grinning by the time he was done speaking.
“Next Saturday? I’m off of work and I figure that Tyler will be so ecstatic that he’ll let you out of pretty much everything.” Josh nodded in confirmation.
“I’ll text you to set up the other details?” You nodded and then became nervous. Did he want to kiss you? You wanted to kiss him, but didn’t want to push your luck with how nervous Josh was, how it was the first time he had done anything with a man before. Your eyes dropped to his lips, drawn over his teeth as he smiled at you in the darkness. His eyes were so lit up in the streetlamps outside his house they looked like glowing amber. You marveled at him, at his beauty, his glowing eyes. “Can I kiss you?” He breathed, “I know I’m probably not going to be good at it because I’m only used to kissing girls but I can try my best. I really want to kiss you right now,” You let a breath of air out.
“You can kiss me, Josh. I don’t care if you’re bad at kissing, I just care if you want to kiss me.” He leaned forward and grasped your chin between his hands, pulling you to meet his lips with your own. He was right, his kiss was geared more toward being dominant instead of what you were used to; being equals in the dominance game of kissing. But you let him lead, making him more comfortable as his lips worked against yours, tongue parting your lips and entrancing you. When he pulled back, bashfully looking at the ground, you grinned and resisted the urge to pump your fist in the air.
“Holy shit,” His voice was hoarse, “That was… Something else.” You smirked.
“I’m flattered, Josh.” Then you leaned toward him, “Next time we kiss let me lead, then you’ll really be breathless.” He flushed so hard you wondered if he would start sweating. “Get some sleep tonight. I’ll text you when I get home.” He nodded and then unlocked his door.
“Goodnight. Sleep well. We can set up the next date in the morning. I’ll pass your thanks on to Tyler when he calls me tonight.” You chuckled and turned to make your way back to your car.
“Yeah, he’ll be off his rocker with excitement if you do that. Goodnight, Josh.”