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Having her by her side, smiling with such excitement as she talked about anything she liked, was her favorite thing in the world.
Adora is a big fan of listening to the many stories that spill from Catra’s lips, laughing and───even interrupting her at times───chiming in with anecdotes about her best friend, Lonnie.
The music playing in the background had been chosen by the Latina, who lay stretched out on the bed, sketching in a notebook, while the blonde watched her.
"Have I told you about Scorpia?" she asked. Adora felt a heaviness settle in her body at the sound of her enthusiasm and gently shook her head. "We’re classmates at the art academy. She’s brilliant, period."
To the older girl, that girl was a stranger, most likely one of the new friends Catra had made during those months she’d been away. And that thought stirred a discomfort deep in her stomach.
Catra drifted off into her own world, letting a stream of praise and sweet things spill from her lips as she casually shared bits and pieces about the girl. Somewhere in there, she mentioned that Scorpia was her age.
But it was the last thing she said that froze Adora’s heart.
"I think I like her," the brunette murmured.
The taller girl swallowed, a shiver runs down her spine, yet she sighed and looked at Catra with her usual lovely-gaze.
"She sounds like a lovely person," she let out an awkward, fake laugh. "You should hurry and tell her!"
"I already planned it," Catra laughed as she stood up, leaving her sketchbook right in her friend's face with a grin, then walked over to her desk. She rummaged around until she smiled triumphantly, pulling out a slightly crumpled sheet of paper. "I prepared a speech, or something like that."
"Ew," the older girl groaned, making a dramatic grimace that earned her a pillow to the head───courtesy of Catra. "Catra! I’m serious, you’re such a sap. This must be so embarrassing for you."
She laughed, trying not to start crying.
There was a sharp pain blooming in her chest.
Weird.
The brunette frantically shook her head before taking her seat next to her elder; the blonde felt her heart pounding as she sat next to her. She pressed her lips together and started the piece of paper, but couldn't muster the strength to read any of it.
"I just want it to be something nice," twirled her hair, nervously-looking. "Besides the fact that we're casually seeing each other, I feel like... I need to make it official."
It hurts; it feels like saying anything else will cause her voice to crack and end up causing her to run out of the room in tears.
Adora was good at hiding her feelings for Catra... Until that exact time.
She refused for so long to say anything and, in just a few minutes, the one that provokes so many new sensations in her is pushing her to say everything in the worst way.
Adora sighed, looking at her once more.
"I'm glad you're doing so well now, Catra," she said, taking a deep breath to continue, ignoring how her voice trembled. "She’s going to like you back."
"You think so?" Catra was surprised by how her heart skipped a beat when her heterochromatic eyes met the ocean-blue ones Adora had. She swallowed hard.
Adora smiled, trying to ease her nerves.
"I’m sure of it, Cat. Everything’s going to be okay. I promise."
The Latina didn’t hold back the impulse to throw herself into Adora’s arms, and the blonde pulled her close.
"I missed you so much, you stupid blonde," her voice was weak, like she was exposing the most fragile part of her soul. The older girl held onto every word.
"Is there anything I can do?"
Catra was giving in to her impulses. She could hear her own heartbeat and wondered if it was loud enough for Adora to notice.
Adora pulled back just slightly, still holding her shoulders, and looked at her, with fear. Catra clung to her hoodie like she was holding onto her own existence. Adora nodded.
"Do it."
And at that moment, she took it as an invitation. But something inside her chest held her back. That thought again.
Adora had built a life far away.
Adora had broken every promise.
Adora was happy without her.
Because Adora was just foolish enough to never feel anything close to that for her.
Because Adora had a perfect life, with perfect friends, a perfect apartment, a perfect school in a perfect city miles from her.
"Let’s go to the park," she pleaded suddenly, desperate to forget the urge to kiss her. She got up quickly after saying it, stuffed the sheet of paper into her pocket, and grabbed the jacket hanging on her chair. Adora didn’t resist and followed her lead.
Neither of them seemed interested in talking after that.
The end of Adora’s vacation was approaching. Her days were numbered before she had to return to the city where she’d chosen to build her life.
Catra knew it. That’s why she had never dared to say anything. Catra deserved something stable, something close and constant. She didn’t deserve the kind of distance that could end up breaking them both.
The winter air hit them instantly. The sun was setting in the distance, and Catra mentally cursed herself for using that excuse to shatter their bubble. They were only a few blocks from the place where they’d first met.
"I don’t want you to leave," she said softly.
Feeling the weight of what she was about to say, Adora kept silent.
"I like being with you. I’ve never felt understood by anyone the way I do with you."
"You have the other girls," Adora said. "They can be there for you, always."
Catra looked at her, ready to argue, but Adora ran a hand through her hair and gave her that smile. The one you couldn’t really argue with.
"The others have their young adult lives now," she grumbled. "Our schedules never match. Even Lonnie and I haven’t spent much time together lately."
Adora let out a soft laugh.
"I can’t imagine Kyle being far from you."
"See?" Catra took it as proof. "That’s how complicated everything is. Honestly, the only one who's always around is Scorpia."
Silence followed. Catra instantly regretted mentioning her.
The blonde looked down and stepped back, smiling bitterly. Without looking up, she spoke: "Tell me more about her. How are things going between you two?"
And that’s when Catra felt frozen.
She didn’t know what to say because, with Adora there around, she wasn’t even sure she liked Scorpia at all. Every bit of Scorpia’s light felt dimmer compared to Adora’s presence. She took a breath.
"I think it’s going okay," she said, insecure but trying to sound convincing. "She and I are pretty close. I just want to make sure I can tell her everything the right way."
Adora looked at her and pinched the tip of her nose.
"How can you be such an idiot?"
"Why?" Catra groaned, pushing the blonde away, frowning in protest.
"I left two years ago, and you didn’t even try to talk to me for half of that time," she started. Then she stared at Catra for a moment before smiling. "And now look at you. Just a soft little dork who studies visual arts at some local academy."
Catra growled again.
"You’re so annoying."
She playfully punched Adora’s shoulder before running off, dodging the hit she knew was coming back.
Soon, the two of them found themselves in the middle of the park, near the kids' playground. Adora’s heart fluttered just seeing it.
A thousand memories fired off in her mind like sparks.
"Do you remember when we used to come here?" Catra asked.
She remembered too.
At that hour, the park was empty───people usually stayed away in this season. But they had always loved it. When they were kids, Catra would spend almost all day at Adora’s house. And in the afternoons, Mara would take them to the park───without Adam, because he was always sick───just before sunset, and they’d stay for hours.
Then they’d go back, drink hot chocolate together, and around midnight, Shannon would show up, banging on the door, demanding Catra return home.
Catra always avoided those memories.
She hated thinking about how much she had gone through as a kid.
She felt a knot in her throat as she sat on one of the swings. She noticed Adora watching her, hands on her hips.
Catra raised an eyebrow and smirked, cocky.
"I thought you were too grown up for this kind of thing."
"Will you ever let that go? I was eleven!" the younger girl complained.
Adora burst out laughing mercilessly, probably unaware that Catra felt like she loved her a little more every time she laughed.
Then she sat beside her and began to swing.
The Latina looked at her side in silence, noticing how Adora’s golden hair seemed to glow under the moonlight.
"Catra?" Adora’s voice wavered in the quiet. Catra opened her eyes, smiled, and Adora smiled back. "Are you thinking about her?"
Catra pretended not to be nervous. "I don’t always think about Scorpia, Adora."
The blonde rolled her eyes. "I figured you did," teased her. "Being all soft and cheesy like you’ve become."
"I’m not like you with Sparkles," she snapped, bitterness in her tone.
And suddenly, the bad memories returned to Adora.
She stopped her swing and looked at Catra.
"There was never anything between me and her."
Now it was Catra’s turn to roll her eyes, irritated. Because that brilliant girl (literally, she looked like she threw glitter on herself every time she stepped outside) was the one who had gotten Adora the amazing athletic scholarship to one of the best universities.
And in the end, she hadn’t been able to say no, even if that meant leaving Catra to deal with Shannon on her own.
Because even if Adora’s friends had technically accepted Catra into the group… they never really had.
Frosta seemed to judge her for hours.
Mermista never could───or wanted to───hold a proper conversation with her.
Even Perfuma kept her distance whenever they were alone.
And Glimmer... That girl hated her. Glimmer, most of all, always seemed stressed around her. Like she was doing everything she could to pull Adora away, convinced Catra was a bad influence.
So when Glimmer moved to the city, she made sure to take all of Adora’s closest friends with her.
Catra’s life started falling after that. Left alone with Shannon and without Adora as an escape from that world, things began to feel far away—full of shouting, breaking glass, and sirens screaming outside their house because of one of her panic attacks.
She sighed, didn’t want to think about that.
She looked at her for a few seconds. "Sure," she muttered, rolling her eyes, still annoyed. Then she blinked a few times, her expression softening. "How is she? And your other friend?"
Adora hesitated, surprised by the sudden shift.
"They’re doing well. The city’s intense, but we’ve managed to stay together."
"That’s good," Catra murmured, swallowing down the complaints she wanted to throw at Adora and her choices.
"It is," Adora said, her voice drifting off as she looked around the empty park. Then she stood and pulled Catra up by the hands. "Aren’t you cold?"
The brunette let herself be lifted, pursing her lips.
"Not really."
The blonde gave her a small smile and tugged her gently, leading her deeper into the park.
Catra couldn’t help but smile and follow beside her, feeling a warm current travel from her hand all the way to her chest.
Winter nights had always been her favorite───not exactly because of how Adora seemed to turn them into something magical. It was more about the emptiness, the hot chocolate, the quiet mornings at Adora’s house, and all the good memories that came chasing after them from those times.
Adora led her to a huge tree. Their tree. The one Catra always loved to climb. And that small gesture filled her chest with warmth.
Because Adora remembered.
"Did you really bring me here, Adora?" she raised an eyebrow playfully.
Her friend just shrugged. "Thought it was a good time for a rematch."
Catra laughed.
That kind of laugh that only came out when Adora said something completely ridiculous and acted like she meant it. The blonde pouted, but didn’t stop her.
"There’s no way you’ll win, princess," Catra teased.
"Are you challenging me?"
Catra narrowed her eyes, locking her gaze with Adora’s.
"Maybe."
In less than 10 seconds they both began to climb. As expected, Catra was more agile. Her flexibility gives her the upper hand. While Adora was hesitant and cautious. That made her slower, and Catra, now perched near the top, smirked down at her.
"So who was supposed to beat me again?" she called, her voice teasing.
Nothing was more satisfying than seeing Adora’s pale face flushed red with effort and frustration.
"Didn’t know age was already catching up to you, Adora."
Adora groaned, which only made Catra laugh harder.
"Shut up, Catra."
"Adulthood made you bitter. Turning twenty must be horrible."
She knew her. Even without looking, Catra could tell Adora was rolling her eyes.
When Adora sat beside her, Catra knew that all the pain she’d felt during her absence had been worth it. Because now, these smallest of moments were enough to make her fall in love all over again. Enough to love her for years.
She trembled at the thought. It felt like a sentence.
The blonde looked at the Latina for a few seconds. She looked beautiful under the moonlight. Her skin seemed to glow in golden tones, and her smile made it all look perfect.
Adora hated heights, but watching her… She knew the fear was worth it.
"Do I have something on my face?" Her sarcastic tone was a special kind of charm. Adora shook her head, and Catra stared back. She snapped her fingers in front of Adora’s face. "What are you staring at?"
She tried to sound calm. But her pulse had spiked, and her breath caught in her throat under the weight of those ocean eyes locked on her.
Adora smiled.
"You're pretty."
Normally, Catra would’ve groaned. She would’ve smacked her and complained about the awful way she flirted; because, honestly, she’d always believed Adora was single because she was terrible at it.
But at that moment… It was more than enough to make her heart go wild.
And she didn’t stop her.
She didn’t stop her when Adora reached up to touch her cheek with that stupid, soft smile on her lips. ñ
She didn’t stop her when she leaned in, breath ghosting against her skin.
She didn’t stop her when she kissed her.
And she didn’t want to. Not for a second.
Adora’s lips tasted like honey. Thin, soft, and somehow perfect against hers. The blonde slid her hand into Catra’s curls and pulled her closer, to the point where she thought she might suffocate from how dangerous her kisses were.
Kissing Adora was like an addiction. Like drowning in her warmth. Like falling and never wanting to hit the ground.
She hate it.
Yet love it.
She pulled away, chest rising and falling. Overwhelmed. Confused. In love. And a thousand other emotions swirling inside her, making her dizzy with how intense they felt after barely a minute of kissing her.
Adora knew. Her smug smile gave it away. She had always loved how easily Catra let her guard down around her. She loved her softness, her vulnerability. And now, she had both right there in front of her.
And it terrified her.
Because love always comes hand in hand with pain.
She’d learned that young.
You love someone, they leave, and their absence becomes a blade you carry forever.
So she tried to run.
Her silence wiped the smile off Adora’s face.
Her quiet shift to climb down from the tree stole the light from her eyes. She could feel Adora watching her as her feet hit the ground, and right then… she lost the will to leave.
Leaving meant locking herself in again.
Forgetting Adora.
Pushing her friends even farther away.
Letting Adora’s friends hate her, again.
And worst of all, it meant destroying Adora’s happiness, just because she believed she had to give up her own.
Her friend's voice behind her felt distant, like a forbidden whisper. She knew that if she turned around, she wouldn’t be able to walk away───heard footsteps coming closer, so she walked faster. Then Adora caught up to her.
Catra didn’t resist when she wrapped her arms around her from behind.
She felt exposed.
Her heart ached but also wanted to leap with joy and she had ruined everything.
She’d let herself get swept up again by someone who wasn’t supposed to matter anymore.
Someone she had sworn was her past. Someone who wasn’t Scorpia.
She still didn’t want to admit it wasn’t about Scorpia.
It was Adora.
She felt her nose graze the back of her neck, and her skin broke into goosebumps. Trembling under her touch. Her heart was pounding so loud she swore Adora could hear it. Every inch of her burned from that simple contact.
She swallowed thickly, but before she could say anything, Adora spoke:
"Let’s go home," she said, and Catra felt her hand take hers ───guiding them back together.
To Catra, it all felt like a dream.
She had loved Adora for so many years that actually kissing her felt almost unreal. Distant. Fake, even.
She struggled to understand how it had happened. And the thought of what might come next… terrified her.
Her heart was pounding so hard that it drowned out every other sound. Her mind couldn’t form a single clear thought.
Adora.
Adora.
Adora.
"I’m sorry," Adora finally whispered.
The words snapped Catra out of her trance. Her eyes widened, and she blinked twice, confused. Adora took a breath and continued. "I had to hold myself back… not take advantage of the moment," swallowed. "I know you have a whole life far away from me, and I shouldn’t have kissed you, shouldn’t have felt good about it when you—"
She was cut off by Catra’s lips on hers.
Catra didn’t want to hear it.
Didn’t want to hear her regret something that had just turned her world upside down.
Adora let herself melt into the kiss. Let herself feel the gentle pressure of soft lips against hers, guiding her like a quiet lullaby to her soul───silencing every fear.
Catra’s shorter fingers cupped her cheeks, grounding her in the moment.
And only Catra decided when to pull away.
Her breath still fanned across Adora’s lips, but she finally opened her eyes—and there they were. Those beautiful, shining brown eyes.
Catra smiled. Adora smiled back instantly and wrapped her arms around her, holding her tight against her chest.
"I love you, Adora," the brunette murmured. Her voice───low, raspy, and teasing───tickled Adora’s ear, making her eyes search Catra’s face for any sign that this wasn’t real. That this wasn’t a joke. "I’m not even trying to be funny," Catra assured her.
A soft laugh left Adora’s lips as she let her head rest in the crook of Catra’s neck. She could only smile and whisper back, "I—I love you too, Catra."
And for the first time, Catra swore love was real.
Maybe life didn’t hate her after all. Her heart burned in the warmth of the love Adora gave her. Her heart flutters, leaps. There's a revolution within her, and she feels like she could die right there. Everything she'd been trying to suppress in her chest was resurfacing.
Later, she felt stupid.
The next morning, there’s no sign of Adora in the house. Catra’s chest sank as she imagined the worst—but she didn’t let herself spiral. It had to be something else. Adora wouldn’t just leave like that…
Right?
She decided to trust her, going back to that messy room she used for painting. Half-finished canvases were scattered around───portraits of people who’d posed for her, different landscapes, and that one face that always came back to her mind: Adora.
Her heart skipped at the thought of her. She was so happy to finally live what she’d dreamed of for years, thrilled to share even those small moments together. It had all felt too perfect to think anything could go wrong.
Until the hours passed and she still didn’t come back.
Unanswered calls piled up on her phone. Messages went unseen. Anxiety grew with every second.
Then, the doorbell rang.
Color returned to her face; she felt the tension fade from her body, replaced by relief───until she opened the door and saw Adam standing there. The impact was worse than anything she’d imagined.
He was almost her reflection.
Same eyes, messy blond hair, and that damn stupid smile.
“Hey, Cat!” He waved in front of her face. In his hands, he held a small blue box with a bow on top. “Adora asked me to bring this. She also said she forgot her jacket here and—uh, did something happen?”
He looked confused.
Catra held her breath for a few seconds, forcing back the tears. Shook her head.
“I was sleeping, you woke me up…”
“Didn’t think you were the type to sleep early.”
His laugh filled the air as Catra walked back into the house to grab what he’d mentioned.
She returned holding the red jacket Adora never took off and handed it to him───refused the gift he offered.
“Tell her to give it to me in person when she comes back.”
Adam didn’t insist. He said goodbye with his usual energy.
Catra leaned her back against the door as soon as it closed. Her legs trembled and she slid down to the floor. Her eyes fixed on a meaningless spot in the room, her heart aching with every beat.
She didn’t cry, but tears still rolled down her cheeks. A huge emptiness was suffocating her. She felt so small and worthless in Adora’s life───it was stupid to believe there’d be a future in whatever─they─had that night. She hated herself for thinking she could be happy by her side.
With Adora.
Now that she thought about it, sounded unreal.
Her hand reached for the phone beside the front desk───the one Shannon used to spend long nights arguing with her dad. The one Catra never touched…
That day, she picked it up. Dialed the number she knew by heart, and after three rings, Adora’s voice came through.
“Who is this?”
“Adora.” She didn’t answer, so Catra had to continue. “Wouldn’t it have been easier not to give me false hope?”
Silence.
“Are you back in the city?”
“Glimmer said we’d leave early.”
“So you decided to go without saying goodbye. Like the coward you are…”
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” she tried to explain───desperate. Her voice sounded rushed, shaky. She didn’t want to break, and Catra wanted her to suffer just as much as she did. “I was going to leave anyway.”
Catra laughed. The sound tickled Adora’s ear, even from afar.
“You’re such an idiot.”
For a moment, only their breathing filled the line. Neither dared to speak. Adora tried to think of a way to defend herself, but there was none. Catra took quiet pleasure in her unease───vindictive.
She deserved it after all.
She kissed her, said she loved her, held her until she fell asleep───and then just left.
“You know, I really thought I could be happy. Just once…” Catra began, her voice distant, empty, melancholic. Adora held her breath, guilt eating her alive. “In the end, I keep falling for your games.”
“I wasn’t playing with you. I really do love you.”
“But Bow and Sparkles come first. I know.”
It was cruel.
Adora tried to speak, but no words came. What could she say? There was no excuse that would fix it.
“Once again, you came back just to ruin my stability. Does it hurt you to see me happy without you?”
Adora gasped. “N-No, is not like that...”
“Oh, isn’t it?” said flatly.
Through the phone, she could hear Adora trying to say something, but Catra wanted to end it. For her own sake, she couldn’t keep spinning around something that would never happen.
Not when Adora wasn’t going to choose her.
“At least it was a nice goodbye.”
That broke her. “W-What?”
“There’s no need for us to see each other again. I’d rather we didn’t.” Catra’s voice stayed calm as tears streamed down her face, doing her best not to shatter. “Having you close hurts.”
That day, she was grateful for Adora’s silence. At least this way, she didn’t have to fight the urge to stay.
“Goodbye, Adora.”
Before she could hear the answer, she hung up. Unplugged the phone and stayed where she was, hesitating. Her heart tightened, a lump rising in her throat.
The first sob was the point of no return.
The echo of her voice kept bouncing around in her mind, slowly breaking her apart. She could hate her, and still miss her. She could promise never to look for her again, but she knew that as soon as she heard her name, it would all hurt again.
She covered her face with her hands, letting the tears finally flow. Loud, messy. She cried out everything inside her, breaking with every sob───driven by every memory.
If only Adora had known to stay.
If only Catra had run away with her.
If only they had learned to love each other, they could have been happy in this life; but maybe in the next they'll end up together with their happily ever after.