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Ajax sat in his tent, the day having clearly demoralised him.
That pansy Achilles didn't want to fight. That's not what bothered him.
What did bother him was that no one even considered that he had the equivalent of 3 or 4 men in terms of strength and muscle.
He felt ignored and it hurt. Why was he even in the army if his advantages wouldn't be acknowledged?
The war was at a stagnated stage so why even care?
Besides, no one wanted to listen to him. He was just the Grecian army's muscle.
Well, everyone except Thersites.
Maybe.
⚔️~~~⚔️
"Thy face droops. What's the matter with you? Has cowardice finally choked your pride blue in the face?" Thersites mockingly cooed as she gently washed his back.
"Do not insult me, porpentine. I can still beat thee even when I lack clothes."
"I have no doubt you could. Mark me, your plight is a question of will I beat the crippled or nay?"
"It's not my fault your back is crooked." He retorted.
"I never said it was. Has your pitying gotten so severe? 'Tis a lost cause when the elephant does remember."
"Mistress, I'm not in the mood for your twisting of tongues."
"Oh, that was a good one. You're learning from me, dearest warrior."
He felt her gently kiss his shoulder.
The mighty Son of Telemon could never tell when Thersites was being romantic or mocking with her affectionate ministrations.
"You're gaining a wit. That scares me," she jested. "There's only room in this tent for one licensed railer."
"I hear Achilles wants to employ thee."
She let out a demented cackling of laughter.
"I feel insulted that anyone feels they've even employed me. The Gods always fail to protect me from idiocy."
"Mistress, you are my servant."
"And just when I thought my fury was quenched. Look, I lack the energy to argue with thee. There's no point anyhow because you don't comprehend anything beyond war, blood and love-making or whatever it is we do out of boredom or anger."
Ajax then stepped out of the large wooden tub, his naked form towering over her clothed one.
"I shalt beat thee!"
"Do, do! I volunteer my skin as a tribute to your childish rages. You're built up of nothing save for spilt blood and meaningless muscle."
He decided against beating his servant.
⚔️~~~⚔️
The clink of his lighter echoed throughout the tent slightly as she lit a cigarette with it.
"You should conquer Troy. Think of all the riches you'd gain. I may hate thee but alas, the weight of the hatred I feel for Agamemnon and that cuckold Menelaus weighs far heavier," Thersites rambled as she lay beside Ajax. "You owe me that, at least."
"It's your idea. Carry it out, toadstool."
She scoffed. "Have you forgotten that I'm not only diseased, I'm also crooked backed? I have a hump, Dear Ajax. I cannot conquer in this state. I doubt this bosom could entice even the most backward coward in the Trojan forces to backstab his countrymen."
"You forget it entices me."
"It only entices you because you're a fool. Twixt you and Achilles in terms of foolishness, you outweigh him."
"I should've beaten thee." Ajax replied before his servant blew smoke into his face in retaliation.
"I think the act we just did was far worse. I only do you in hopes you contract one of my... issues."
"I ought to beat you into beauty."
She maniacally laughed before straddling him.
"You already find me beautiful, you cur."
Thersites then stuck her half-smoked cigarette into Ajax's mouth before a reply could ever be formed.
"You could have so much glory if you just took Troy. Alack, cowardice still strangles you blue. Don't you want to impress your dearest Tecmessa?"
Ajax tried to reply without the cigarette falling out of his mouth and potentially hurting his servant or setting the sheets on fire.
This obviously didn't work.
"What?" she asked before removing the cigarette.
"Won't it impress you?"
"No, not really."
"Then what's the point of me doing it then?"
She slid off him just as easily as she'd pounced upon him, the remains of the cigarette hanging out of her mouth.
"I don't know," she replied with her teeth. "I think you owe me an act of heroism."
"I don't owe you anything, you wolf's teat."
Thersites grinned.
⚔️~~~⚔️
Morning light filtered through the tent as Ajax stirred.
It didn't take him long for him to collect his bearings and notice his servant had slipped out of bed.
Typical Thersites.
"Where have you gotten to, dog?"
He then heard familiar footsteps followed by: "I was collecting your meal. Here."
She rather forcefully shoved a silver tray into his hands, startling the muscly warrior slightly.
"Now, eat up, you snot eating termite."
"I do not!"
"Oh, but you do." She mocked, batting her eyelashes at him.
Ajax sat on his bed, picking at his food for a long while.
He eventually ate.
"So, shall we conquer Troy or are you going to continue kissing the sweating toes of the Brothers like the unintelligent monster you are?"
"The war is lost-" he muttered.
"I- You- You actually admit it?" she cut him off before he'd finished his thought.
"I'll still fight, though!" the warrior exclaimed joyously.
"We're having a truce! What's stopping you from going in there and taking it all?"
"It's not right!"
She sighed, frustrated with her liaison's fixation on stupid technicalities.
"Since when did that matter, you lacker of bowels? Do you even know what morals are?"
"Isn't that a fruit?" Ajax replied, earnestly.
"No, Ajax, that's melons."
"Oh."
⚔️~~~⚔️
Another boring day had gone by quicker than the flickering of an oil lamp.
"You still haven't conquered Troy," Thersites chided while undertaking the task of removing Ajax's boots. "You hath far too many laces on these."
"Makes them look nicer," he defended, crossing his arms.
"It makes it easier to tell you can't do your own laces," she countered. "At such a large age, honestly. I canst put it past you, considering your constant furies."
"They are not constant."
"My skin begs to differ."
Ajax bristled slightly at that.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
She froze at the sensation of his hand running through her hair.
"I have half a mind to bite off your fingers. Howbeit, your fingers look disgusting so I needn't bother."
Thersites subsequently noticed the frown that had now newly settled on her paramour's face.
"Oh, come on. Don't look at me like that."
"Why not? You're being mean."
"When am I not mean?"
"Mmh, good point."
Thersites laughed at his grumbling. "You still owe me an act of heroism, philetos."
⚔️~~~⚔️
Ajax leaned his head into his lover's touch.
He hated this bed but Thersites made it feel nice, occasionally.
The warrior would never admit it but the touch of her hands always made him feel happy.
"You're quiet. Have you finally gained a brain? I wonder what you'd think of if you possesed a brain on-par with mine."
"I'd have to learn to read first," he laughed.
"Mayhaps, your lack of literacy benefits us all. We couldn't have a clever Ajax. It's not who you are."
He shrugged before lolling his head on her chest. She'd always looked nice in red bras.
"Didn't I get you that?"
"This old thing? No. You gave me the necklace, though."
Thersites felt tempted to ask him where he'd found it - knowing Ajax, he'd probably forgotten by now.
"Will you actually take Troy? Is that the actual reason you're keeping quiet."
Silence settled over the room. A rarity for the pair if they weren't slumbering.
"I want to make you happy, Thers."
And that's the last thing the Son of Telemon mumbled before falling asleep.
⚔️~~~⚔️
If Ajax had wanted to make her happy, this is not at all what she'd wanted.
Yes, she complained about Ajax's occasional focus on the rules. That was playful.
Thersites had silently screamed upon witnessing Hector's butchering and then realising Ajax was helping.
Take Troy.
That's what she'd wanted.
NOT Hector's life.
She shouldn't have cared about this perversion of trust between enemies.
Ajax taking part in this foulery was slightly more horrifying than the act itself.
He was an idiot. There was no doubt about that. Even so, this was extremely stupid for him.
Despite her horror at this act, she'd helped her love wash his bloodied clothes and had held him as his guilt rushed out.
Blood had been spilt, tears were shed.
If only she knew the worst was yet to come.
⚔️~~~⚔️
fin.