Work Text:
More players kept getting into the elevator during the ride. Lucky for Pest, they seemed more interested in Poob. Still, a couple of them sprayed his face—stupid idiots. Lately, Pest had been strapped for cash, so he was looking for people to rob. He was watching the wealthier players, waiting for the right moment, trying not to draw attention to himself. But they were constantly on the move, running around the lift and jumping on the rails. The Beetle managed to rob a few players, but it still wasn't enough. Only like 20 coins. He could 'earn' a hundred in a couple of hours. Eventually, when the elevator emptied out a bit, Pest started to eye up PartyNoob. They were all fidgety, unable to sit still, constantly yapping about parties. Same as always, nothing new. I've already said I don't want to go. How many times do I have to say it? At some point, their movements became weaker, and their honking not so frequent. Were they finally starting to tire?
-"Dat wuz so fun 2day! i'm a lil’ tired already. Wat abt u?"(I went 2 so many parties 2day! I hop Pest had a g8 time 2!)
-"I'm tired of your constant noise."
-"Oh..i don mind bein quieter. But u shuld try 2 be a lil nicer!"
-"私は気にしない"(I don’t care) - Poob tilted their head, confused.
-"Huh?...Anywey, i hope u had a gud day! Alrite, ill goin to my place now." - They turn to the elevator panel, ready to select a floor.
This is my chance! They're finally distracted! Pest moves stealthily towards PartyNoob from behind, remembering where they usually keep their wallet. If he remembers right, it's in their back pocket. Just as a Beetle was about to make the grab, Poob suddenly turned around, like they could feel him staring.
-"Huh? Pest? Wat’s wrong?" (Wat wuz he doin? Oh, mayb Pest wanted a hug!)
-"Uh.. You've got confetti on your back."
-"Oh, rlly??! YAYAYY!! Dats so cool! i'm liek a walking prty popper!" (He sed i hav confetti stuck 2 me! Hes finally warming up 2 me! Awesum!)
-"No, it looks ridiculous. Let me get it off." (Enough chattering, just turn around.)
-"Nah, it's cool! i liek it!" - They think for a moment before suddenly perking up - "Hey! Pest! Wana come to my place? We could hav a slepover!" (Pest stil looks grumpy. Even mor than usual. Mayb apple pie might fix dat? I have sum at home.)
-"No. I'm not interested."(A sleepover is the last thing I need. I've got better things to do.)
-"r u sur? C'mon, jus for half an hour? If you hate it, you can leev." (Mayb he's just shy? I gota show him how awesum partiez ar! Mayb he'll stap bein such a grouchy)
-"What's the point if I already don't want to go?"
-"It’s always fun to have fun!"
-"That's a tautology."
Ding. The elevator doors opened on the right floor. Before them was Poob's apartment, or rather what was left of it. All the furniture was smashed to bits, the doors were ripped off their hinges, the TV screen shattered, and only a miraculously unharmed robot vacuum cleaner was driving through the mess. PartyNoob's smile and excitement vanished instantly. No party or sleepover happening here, it seemed. Pest let out a relieved sigh. Poob stepped into the apartment, unusually slow, eyes scanning the damage. Pest, meanwhile, stayed put in the elevator. "Well, guess today isn't my lucky day. Couldn't even rob this naive idiot," a Beetle thought, heading for the button panel.
Suddenly, he hears a soft sob. Are you going to whine now? Really? Pest peered out of the elevator, purely out of curiosity. PartyNoob was fiddling with some trash, piling it up, occasionally wiping their face with their hand. It's their own fault this happens so often. They could've just said "no" or not thrown parties in their place. Simple as that. I could just keep going. They can clear it up themselves. Not my problem. Thinking this, Beetle's about to press the elevator button, but his finger freezes. But still.. There could be some money lying around in that apartment , if that idiot hasn't blown it all on their stupid parties. They're vulnerable right now, and probably even more careless than usual. I could take advantage of that. Pest, hardly believing he's considering this, steps out of the elevator and walks over to Poob.
-"Hey. Are you okay?" (Just pretending I care. I'm good at it.) - PartyNoob pauses what they’re doing and looks up at a Beetle with tears in their eyes.
-"Honestly? Not rlly. But ill b fine.. i think." (Is Pest asking how I am? How nice of him..)
-"What a mess in here." - he walks over to the ripped "happy birthday" banner and picks it up - "Another birthday party?" (I don't care. I just don't want to look suspicious, wandering around like this. Though, let's be real. This idiot wouldn't suspect a thing even if I ran off with the money pretending to deposit it into the bank or something.. Hmm, maybe I should remember that for later.)
-"Oh yesh! 2day wuz so fun! I was at Jim's today, and ten at Split's! And ten at dat pizza place! It wuz so cool! Tho..I hoped da apartment wudn't be destroyd, at least 4 2day.."- their fleeting joy disappeared once more as they met the gaze of their wrecked apartment. Poob sadly lowered their head.
-"You should lock it if you don't want it destroyed."
-"But how wil my frends get in 4 da partay?"
-"You'll open the door from the inside, like a normal person?"
-"But wat if i'm not here yet?"
-"Maybe don't throw a million parties in one day バカめ(you idiot)?"
-"But dere'd b less fun! I luv having fun!" (He sed dat word again. I wonder wat it means. Mayb "party lover"?)
-"I see."
Pest peered into the long hallway. Still no money. Just a mess of broken shelves and shredded toy stuffing.
-"Hay, I wanted to ask you sumthing! Could you teech me sum of ur words?"
-"Why would I do that?"
-"I wana understand you better! It's ur first language, rite? I've nevr heard any1 else talk liek dat. u must feel so alone. i want to help you not to." (It wuld be so cool if we could chat in da saem language! We could hav secret talks! Mayb he'll smile more?)
-"Nah. And no, I'm not teaching you Japanese." (The last thing I need is them to understand me.)
-"Oh…alrite ten." - Eventually, they smile again. - "Tnx, Pest. I needed dat."
-"What are you talking about?" (You needed what? To be robbed in broad daylight?)
-"Thanks for bein here wit me! i wuz so sad! But now I feel wae better! ur such a good frend, Pest! I'm so glad 2 kno you!" (I kne he was actualy a gud person!)
-"Yeah, sure-"(What have I done?!)
Poob hugs him tightly. Pest was aiming for this, kinda, but not like this. Now his arms are pinned to his sides and he can't even move them, let alone try to rob this clueless idiot. Who knew this person hugged so hard? Ugh, they stink of that awful fizzy drink. Pest barely breaks free.
-"Oh. Not a hug fan?"
-"Yeah, don't do that again..Unless I ask." (I can't just turn that down like that. They're the easiest to rob using fake hugs.. well, maybe Pilby too.)
-"Gotcha! i wish i could offer you tea and apple pie, but I don think i can. The kitchen's brokn 2. i think ill go to Infected place rn. Oh! Wana come wit me?" (i want 2 thank Pest. ill probably ask Infected 2 pour him teh best energy drink he has!)
-"I'll pass." - he watches Poob stand up ready to go to the elevator
-"Are you just gonna leave the apartment like this?"
-"Yesh! I think itll b al fixed up by tomorow! Cmon, lets go! Wher do u ned 2 go next?"
They abruptly grab Pest's hand and pull him back into the elevator. A Beetle hadn't seen that coming, no chance to resist. Pest sighs, annoyed, as the elevator doors shut. Now, I’m stuck with this irritating idiot for who knows how many floors. Just great. I should have just left when I had the chance. But no, I had to try robbing them.
