Chapter Text
I remember that night as if it was yesterday. We were all in that playground, watching the night sky and seeing those beautiful meteor showers. I’d give anything to go back to that time where we were together. I really did believe that we'd be together forever but that's obviously just some unrealistic idea that I made up in my mind. My second year of Junior High is coming to an end and what a fucking awful year it's been. And I can't blame anyone but myself. Sure Saki being hospitalised was out of my control, it was out of everyone's control. But me ignoring the only two other friends I had was ultimately my own fault. I made my decision and now I have to live with it. All I need to focus on now is my bass practice, it's the one thing that keeps my mind at ease.
When you play bass it looks like you're not alone.
Miu’s words still ring in my head, she was one of the only people I spoke to throughout this rotten year. But she's gone too, all I really have now is my bass. But it's like she said, as long as I have my bass I don't need to concern myself with anyone. Especially with those who don't take music as seriously as I do.
This is not working, we only wanted someone to play bass and all you're doing is bossing us around.
That music club I joined was something I should've known was too good to be true. I can't be in a band with people who won't even do the bare minimum to perform at an acceptable level.
Shiho!
Huh, who was that? Who yelled my name? Oh I was just daydreaming. I wonder if she's still trying to wait for me at the school entrance. I feel awful about ignoring her but I couldn't stand the fact that people were talking badly about her because of me. They didn't even know her yet just because I hung out with her it meant she is the same as me. Maybe Ichika is a bit awkward but she isn't an asshole like me. Yeah I'm so awful and can't talk to new people without being rude, but Ichika isn't like that. That's why..that's why..I left her side. Ahhhh what the fuck am I doing? I'm so dumb. I miss her so much, not just her. I miss Honami and Saki too…yet I'm just sitting here on this stupid rooftop without anyone. I'm so lonely but it's my fault, all my damn fault for being such a terrible person. And it's all going to be like that next year, all alone again due to my own negligence.
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I didn't go home straight away. I just wandered aimlessly without any direction. But yet I always somehow end up back here.
I wonder what bands are playing tonight.
I enter the live house and get greeted by the staff who have come to recognise me. Here I am free from any worry. I don't need to be fearful of anyone hating me because here I am able to be myself. I buy a ticket and enter the venue. The band who is scheduled to perform arrives on stage, it's like being transported to a different world. This is it, this means everything to me. I wonder if one day I'll be able to play on stage like this.
“Hello everyone! We're a band made up of childhood friends! We've been playing together since we were kids and it's our dream to go pro!”
Hey everyone, let's play this Miku song together!
Before the band could even start playing, tears began filling my eyes. I…I can't be here right now, this is too much to handle. I run out of the live house and begin running. I don't know where but anywhere but there was fine. Suddenly I end up in the middle of the big city, a bunch of people are around and I begin feeling sick. I quickly go somewhere more secluded and I end up entering the CD store that I have been to a few times. Without saying anything I go to a part of the store where nobody else was and with my ragged breaths all I could think about was them. Even there, even in my safe space I get reminded of them. I don't know what to do anymore. If I go back to them then people will hate them and if I don't go back I end up like this. After recovering I leave the store and before I am able to continue walking, I get suddenly grabbed by someone.
“H-hey what's the big d-”
No fucking way.
It was someone from the music club I was in. Why did she grab me like that?
“Shut up and follow me.”
“I have no reason to follow you, I'll be going now.”
Suddenly she begins pulling me and it's hard to break her grip off of me.
What's she planning to do to me? Surely no one would beat someone up over a fucking music club.
“Hey you!”
Suddenly a girl's voice rings out. We both look up and see a girl, around the same height as me, she has brown hair and brown eyes.
“I don't think she wants to go with you, so lay off.” says the girl.
“Huh? Who the hell do you think you are? Mind your own damn business, I just want to talk to her.”
“I'm not an idiot. Who the hell yanks someone and begins dragging them away? You clearly don't just want to talk and if you do anything I’m a witness”
The girl doesn't say another word, she only lets me go and begins walking away.
“Are you okay? She didn't hurt you, did she?”
“No I'm fine…but why did you help me? I was fine on my own.”
“I can't stand bullies. Anyways I need to get going.” the girl says as she begins walking away.
“Wait!”
Why am I calling out to her? Just let her go.
“Hmm, is there something else you need?”
“What's your name? I didn't catch it.”
Why am I asking her name?
“I'm Shinonome Ena. And you?”
“Hinomori Shiho.”
Why did I tell her my name?
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I had no reason to tell her anything about me. But for some reason this feeling of wanting to know more about her overcame me. She appeared out of nowhere and saved my ass from getting beat up. It was pretty obvious that the girl from the music club was trying to drag me to a nearby alleyway where there was a low chance of anyone seeing us. There would've been the perfect place to do it. And I doubt she was alone, I bet all the other members were there too. That girl, she said her name is Shinonome Ena. I feel like I've heard that surname from somewhere but I'm not sure where. Maybe someone else in my class has it but I don't know for sure because I don't pay attention to anyone in my class. In fact usually I don't pay attention to anyone but there's obviously been an exception. Miu I wonder how you're doing right now. Also the other exception, Shinonome Ena. I gave her my name yet we're still total strangers.
Oh yeah there's a new CD by a band I like that has just been released. I'm going to head to the CD store and buy it before it sells out. I leave the house and head towards the CD store. I might end up seeing that girl from the club again, she might try and beat me up again as well. I should be careful. As I approach the CD store I don't see anyone hanging around but that doesn't mean they aren't waiting for me. I got ambushed as I left the store so I should be on high alert when I leave. I enter the store and see the CD hasn't been sold out yet. I pick it up and buy it. Okay let's be careful and not get ambushed by that girl again. I leave the store and I take a quick glance around.
Phew they're not here this time, maybe that Shinonome girl scared them off.
As I let my guard down, again I get grabbed but when I look, this time it wasn't the girl from the club but to my surprise it was Shinonome Ena.
“S-shinonome w-what are you?”
“Just come with me…please…”
She looked like an emotional wreck. It was really evident that she was crying before she grabbed me. I don't say another word and let the girl pull me along. I could see she was taking me to an alleyway and I didn't know what to think. She obviously wasn't taking me there to beat me up, she just saved me from that reality a couple weeks ago. We reach the alleyway and for a moment there was silence between us.
“Shinonome are you okay?”
“S-sorry for dragging you here. It's just…I remembered you and you were the first person I recognised.” said Ena with hurried breaths.
“Woah slow down, did something happen?”
Why am I even in this situation right now? What happened to being alone and keeping my distance from others. Now I'm here with a total stranger all because I didn't let her go without asking for her name. I haven't even shown any grace like this to my childhood friends. But here I am with someone I don't even know, I truly am awful.
“Truth is I just completely fucked up my chance in getting into art school…my father is right…I'm a talentedless fucking failure…I don't even know why I'm telling you this, you're a complete stranger but I just needed someone to talk to…and you were the first person I saw…and…”
I see how it is. Of course I'm no one important, talking to me about this was obviously just to get her feelings out. I'm just someone she needed to vent to in order to get those emotions out. But obviously that's all I need to be, I don't need to get closer to her and now that she's vented those feelings out, I should just get going.
“Is that all?”
“H-huh yeah that's all I needed.”.
With those words I give her a nod and walk away. Maybe I am just a cold person because who the hell just says that and walks off? I mean I'd be lying if I said I didn't care. Although I barely know her it's hard to not care when you have someone crying their eyes out right in front of you. However I'm still an awful person, I didn't even do anything to help her…yet she saved me from that girl and she stood up for me. I turn back around to see if she is still there but that brown haired girl is long gone.
I bet she hates me, she probably thinks the same about me as the people in my class.
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My third year of Junior High started and luckily for me I didn't end up in the same class as the others. I didn't see Saki anywhere though, she still must be in hospital. Ichika mentioned once that she visits her regularly so I'm sure Saki is doing fine…but it still doesn't stop me from worrying about her. Well if it wasn't obvious nothing has changed regarding my relationship with the other two. I'm still avoiding them…although I miss them it's necessary to keep my distance from them.
The bell for lunch rings and I head towards my usual spot. As I walk by the third year classes I glance into each one.
Huh what the fuck. Why is she…alone?
I see Ichika sitting on her own eating lunch and I also see Honami eating with others.
Why the hell is she not eating with Ichika, there's no way she left her alone…what kinda person leaves her all alone?
Yeah me, I'm that kinda person. But I did it for their sake, maybe that's just an excuse but Honami has no reason to leave Ichika alone like that. Fuck I don't want to leave her alone but…I can't help her. If I do anything she'll just be cursed with the same shit reputation I have. Honami you probably have your reasons like me but I'm so fucking annoyed at you.
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The school day has ended and instead of heading to the roof, I now quickly leave the school as fast as I can. One reason is to avoid my former friends and another reason is I got a part time job at the live house. It's not a serious role, I'm still 14 after all. I just help out the other staff and learn from them. They say when I turn 15 I'll get to do more fun stuff. Aside from that one time I ran out of the live house, every other time I've been there has been comforting for me. Like I said, it's one of the only places I can feel like myself.
I reach the live house and I begin getting to work. Today they're showing me how to handle being front of house. From what I understand, you're basically selling tickets and verifying people's entry.
“Hey Hinomori. I hope you're ready, it's meant to be busy tonight.”
“I'm ready to learn obviously. I'll do my best to not let you down.”
That's the owner. The only reason I got this job is because of him. He noticed that I came here a lot and he told me that they were looking to take someone on. So, I owe a lot to him, he gave me a place where I can be me.
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He wasn't wrong, tonight was pretty busy but I learned a lot. Well the night has come to a close, I begin heading home. Before I do, I decide to head to the CD store. There's another CD that I want. As I reach the CD store, I see her again. Shinonome Ena. She's wearing a school uniform, I don't know why she's out so late. Well who cares, I doubt she even remembers me so I'll just head into the store. Without acknowledging her I walk into the store. I swear I could feel her looking my way, there's no way though. When she vented to me, I didn't do anything, if she does remember me she probably resents me. I see the CD that I want and buy it.
I left the store and for once I didn't get grabbed. I continue walking but when I turn to my right…I see her…just standing there…staring at me. She definitely remembers me. We haven't seen each other in months though. The only reason she'd remember me is if she resents me. I don't say a word and just walk past her, I have no reason to talk to her. As I walk away I don't hear a thing…
Yeah she hates me.
Why do I even care if she hates me anyways? She's just a stranger. Yeah she did save me that one time…actually I have nothing substantial to say to that. I know I'm a terrible person, of course someone like me wouldn't give a fuck. Anyways it's time to move on with my life and forget about her.
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I get home and instantly go to my room to listen to the new CD I got.
Wow that's such a bouncy bassline, slap bass is something I'm still working on…maybe this will help a lot in my learning
I instinctively grab my bass and begin trying to emulate the bassline I'm hearing. Yeah I think this bassline implements the technique really well, I can follow along with it pretty well. Maybe I'm finally getting this technique down.
Shiho you're so good at bass!
Ugh this reminds me of her. Ichika was always so quick to praise me and tell me how good I was. I bet if I showed her what I've learned she'd…no I can't keep thinking about this. Tears begin forming in my eyes which turns into a quiet sob. Suddenly there's a knock on my door.
“Shii….are you okay? I thought I heard you crying.”
I quickly rub the tears away from my eyes. That's my older sister, how did she even hear me?
“No sis I'm fine.”
“Are you sure…? Can I come in?”
“Ahh no I'm busy practicing right now, please don't bother me.”
“Oh I see…well if there's something on your mind you can talk to me.”
“Uh sure thanks.”
I hear footsteps walk away from my door. Phew thank god she didn't come in. I love my sister but she has a tendency to cling to me and if she saw me she'd definitely know I was crying. Anyways let's get back to practicing.