Chapter Text
“So……wow…we’re alone.”
“Yes, Namjoon, so we are.”
“Jin…erm….uh…”
“Yes?”
“…uh……..Oh! Hey, wow…did you cook all this?”
“Wh—(sigh) yes, Joonie, like I always do. For every dinner?”
“Oh!…no, yeah I know…but, you know…wow…”
Imagine a pocket sized you groaning out a quiet “wow” as you peek out from behind the window curtains and glare at the two boys eating at the dining room table. They’d been planning their first dinner date for days, and after realizing they couldn’t exactly date in public, had instead paid the other members to go out to play elsewhere for the evening so they could have a few hours alone. However, knowing that your OTP were the most hopelessly. awkward. beans. on the planet, you’d devised a plan so that you could be left behind to supervise.
Your plan was as follows:
- Convince Yoongi and Hoseok to go to a rap concert and then tell them you’d rather rent a karaoke room.
- Convince Taehyung and Jimin to rent a karaoke room and then tell them you’d rather go explore Hongdae.
- Convince Jungkook to explore Hongdae and then tell him you’d rather go to the rap concert.
- Avoid being in any room with more than two members (if the topic came up you could always tell them you were going with whichever group that wasn’t in the room.)
- Hide in the flower pots by the living room window until the coast was clear.
- Ensure that the Namjin romance wasn’t utterly doomed from the start.
So now here you are, quietly climbing onto the back of the couch from your spot on the window sill. You shake your head at the awful atmosphere in the kitchen (they were so lucky to have you watching over them) as you make your way to the light switch. You reach out for the dimmer and grin at the improvement in mood after you slowly lower the lights so as not to raise suspicion. Next you hop over to the stereo remote and set it to play the romantic playlist that you’d created just for this evening. The first song that plays is Zion.T’s “Eat” and Seokjin turns to Namjoon in surprise to ask how he knew he loved this song (you just knew that Seokjin would like a song called EAT).
The mood in the kitchen is much improved with your OTP smiling shyly and talking more animatedly. There is just one thing left that you need to do, so you sneak under the kitchen table and look at the two pairs of legs on either side of you. Seokjin seems more relaxed with his legs crossed comfortably in front of him, so you walk over to him and reach out to rub at his shin. You stifle a giggle when Seokjin freezes and slowly moves his leg forward into your hand. You guide his foot forward just a little more until his bunny slippers meet Namjoon’s ankle. You jump backward and try your hardest not to cackle when they start to play full on footsy under the table. You hear the two boys laughing and flirting easily and consider your mission a success. You quickly dart out from under the table and sneak into your dollhouse. You lie in bed listening to Crush’s smooth vocals singing something about a lonely sofa. Or is that Jungkook’s voice singing about a lonely whale? Or maybe…you’re already..asleep.
“…..Namjoon…stop…it’s too fast.”
“Jin, everyone does it this fast.”
“Really…? I…don’t know….it d..doesn’t feel right.”
“Trust me, all the kids do this.”
“Ok…but….can we stop…for a bit? It’s…so hot.”
You startle awake to the breathless voice of Seokjin in the living room. You listen as he pants and takes a drink of water before Namjoon asks if he’s “ready for more.” You freeze up, fearing that maybe your plan was a little too effective, but then when Seokjin refuses and Namjoon doesn’t take no for an answer, you burst out of your dollhouse ready to defend Seokjin and kick Namjoon’s butt. However, the scene you’re greeted with is simply one of two stinky, sweaty boys with their backs turned to you and reviewing a video of their dance practice for “Dope”. Namjoon swears up and down that Seokjin can do this and Seokjin lets out a scream of frustration before he gets up and they go over the routine again.
You gape at your stupid OTP who end their first date with a sweaty dance battle, and as you crawl back into bed, you wonder if you should ship Yoonmin instead.
The End.