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It's been two years. Two years ever since those games. Are you never going to let go of her? Are you going to keep sulking in your sorrow forever?
Gyeongseok shakes away his thoughts, but it's easy to let his mind wander when the only the sound in the room is Nayeon's soft breathing as she sleeps. Her body carefully moving up and down with each breath.
Gyeongseok smiles. It's been a while since Nayeon's been home, but every day feels brighter now that she could be with him everyday. At home, not in a hospital room.
They voted out to leave after the failed attempt to take down the games, and he won a good amount of cash that was able to pay for Nayeon's treatment.
So why is he so dissatisfied?
It's because when he thinks of his time in the games, all he can remember is....her.
Cho Hyunju is her name.
Even after two years, she's never left his mind once.
His thoughts cling onto a certain day, a particular moment. The day they played mingle.....
She had lost her friend the round before. It was never said, but walking out of the door that round and seeing Hyunju looking like the life has been sucked out of her and not seeing her friend around her like the previous rounds, he had quickly connected the dots.
He was afraid she wouldn't move the next round, so once the number '2' was called, Gyeongseok had immediately grabbed her arm and raced with her to an empty room.
Once he slammed the door shut, he turned around to see Hyunju, looking completely distraught, like she was about to panic.
Hyunju made her way down on the ground, trying to calm herself down from the recent events, and Gyeongseok follows, sitting in front of her, sadly not knowing anything to say to help her.
"I-It's because of me." Hyunju sobs, her voice weak and naked, "She died because of me. If I...If I had voted X last round, we would've -"
He took one of her hands, shaking his head, "What happened to her was not your fault. It's not. If anything, you helped her make it this far. The round before when I first met her, I could see the way she admired you a lot."
"Youngmi- I just...I didn't want to her to die.."
Gyeongseok sighs, the pain in her eyes evidently clear, "She seemed really sweet. No one deserves to die here like this."
Hyunju wipes her eyes, "I wanna go back home now. I'm not staying here any longer."
"We're going home. We both are. I'm not letting either of us die. So if there's another round after this one, run as fast as you can alright? And if not, I'm...gonna drag you in another room again."
Hyunju breaks her streak of crying, laughing softly, looking at him with a look Gyeongseok would do anything to see forever.
Gyeongseok was searching for something in his mind to say, but nothing came up. But apparently she couldn't think of anything either, because without another word, she leaned forward to kiss him.
And he kissed her back, both their emotions completely unguarded to one another in that very moment.
He had only known her for days, but it was the most heartfelt one he's ever had.
After the game of mingle, they grew closer, talking with each other about plans for when they get out and things they missed and need, things about the past, random stories about each other..
They never brought the kiss up again, but they both never forgot it.
Once they were released however, Gyeongseok quickly realized he had no way of finding her again. He searched for a long while, wishing one day she'd magically show up again.
But she never did. He never saw her again.
After about 6 months of continuous searching, he forced himself to try to distract himself with other women, even sleeping with a few before realizing it wasn't working.
Because no other woman is Hyunju.
Gyeongseok sighs thinking of the memories of the past.
It hurt when he had to stop searching for her, knowing he'd have to move on eventually, but he still hasn't.
You clingy piece of shit. You can't move on from something two years ago. How pathetic do you have to be...
He takes a breath, pushing himself onto his feet, smiling at Nayeon one more time before leaving her room, shutting the door behind him with barely a sound.
He reaches for his coat on the rack, needing some fresh air to somehow distract him from reminiscing any more thoughts that'll keep him up tonight.
He walks out, shuddering from the cold weather, heading towards nowhere in particular.
He feels like a little kid when he walks down the sidewalk, kicking a small pebble like a football down the street.
This isn't working. he thinks to himself, but he figures walking and sulking was better than sitting at home and sulking.
He walks down enough to where a few shops were in the area. Most were closed except for the convenience stores that are open all day.
As he walks past one, he stops in his tracks hearing a familiar voice call out his name...
"...Park Gyeongseok? Is that you?"
No..it can't be. It couldn't be real.
He turns around, quickly and hopefully. And there she was. Hyunju. Cho Hyunju. The very and only woman he has been thinking about for the past two years.
They spend a moment both staring at each other in awe before Hyunju takes a few steps forward, looking at him like she's inspecting if he's real or not.
"....Hyunju?" he chokes, blinking.
Hyunju's face then turns into one of absolute joy, "You're alive!"
Gyeongseok laughs, still processing the moment, "Of course I would be, did you think I was dead?!"
Nice going Gyeongseok. The first thing you say to her after meeting her again is indirectly telling her she's stupid.
"No of course not! I'm just- so surprised."
"I thought I was hearing things when you called out!"
Hyunju giggles, her mouth still wide open, "Oh my gosh tell me! How have you been?"
"I've been...alright? I guess? Oh! Nayeon's back home and she's going to school."
"Nayeon's going to school now? Oh my goodness, I'm so proud of her. That angel."
"Yeah, she's healthier than before. Way healthier. Her hair's growing back too, I try not to cry even thinking about it."
"Of course, oh I'm just so happy for her."
"And what about you?" Gyeongseok asks, his cheeks feeling sore from how much he's smiling.
Hyunju sighs, "Well, I'm....okay too? I got all my surgeries done which is cool."
"That's great! Just like you wanted. And Thailand's on the way too?"
Hyunju smiles, "You know it. I was talking about it with Junhee actually the other day and-"
Gyeongseok gasps, "Wait a second- Junhee?! You two still talk?!"
Hyunju nods excitedly, "Yes! I'm still close with her. Her baby is almost 2 years old! And I'm still in touch with Geum-ja and her son as well."
"Wait- but how did you find them? I haven't seen anybody from the games around here."
"All three of us were thrown on the side of the street together once they drove us back here, and we were all pretty friendless too sooo....It worked out."
Gyeongseok shakes his head in disbelief. Geum-ja, Junhee, and Yong-sik are still all okay....
It took off a weight on his shoulders he didn't know he was carrying.
Hyunju sighs, rubbing her eyes, "You know...I was actually looking for you after the games, and I did find where you work."
"What?! And you never stopped by?!"
"I didn't know if you wanted me to!"
Gyeongseok chuckles, "That's ridiculous. Of course I would've wanted to see you. I was looking for you after the games as well, but I couldn't find anything on you, or anyone for that matter...I'd make a horrible detective."
Hyunju giggles, "I did come very close a few times to the point where I would just wait at the entrance of the amusement park, but I ended up chickening out every time because...well...you know."
Gyeongseok raises a brow, "I in fact don't know."
Hyunju tilts her head and crosses her arms as to say 'cmon'
"What?" Gyeongseok cluelessly asks.
"I was nervous to see you back then because I obviously was in love with you at the time."
Gyeongseok's smile drops, feeling his heartbeat race faster than it ever has before, "You were?"
"Was it not obvious?"
"No! I had no idea...but why didn't you tell me? I felt the same way too."
"You did?!" Hyunju gasps.
"Hello?! Of course, I felt like my crush was so clear it was painful."
Hyunju laughs, her jaw still open at the new found information, "I didn't want to tell you because I thought you wouldn't like...someone like me. A lot of people never have."
Gyeongseok frowns, "You're no different than anyone else. You know....like- in a good way."
Hyunju smiles, "Thanks Gyeongseok, that's very nice."
He gulps, his mind racing, wondering if he should ask what he had wanted to ask her all this time, all throughout the games, all throughout the two years of not seeing her.
If now, then never.
"Um Hyunju before you go, If you're still up to it, I'd really like if we could maybe-"
"Hyunju! I'm back."
Gyeongseok looks up at sound of the voice, a tall, neat looking man walking out of a cafe nearby, holding two drinks. He hands one to Hyunju, his eyes instantly meeting Gyeongseok.
"Um..hey, do you know her?" the man says, looking him up and down. Gyeongseok suddenly feels very vulnerable.
"Um...hi, nice to meet you, I'm a friend of Hyunju's from a few years ago. I just stopped by to say hi."
The man nods, his look staying cold. But regardless, he holds out his hand, "I'm Kyeongbae, Hyunju's boyfriend."
Gyeongseok's heart sinks as he feels his world coming down on him.
Of course. He was too late.
But despite his inner devastation, he doesn't let his calm demeanor falter one bit, so he takes the man's hand, shaking it firmly.
Kyeongbae lets go, giving him a strange look before holding Hyunju's hand, "Ready to go?"
Hyunju nods at him, turning to face Gyeongseok to give him a sweet smile, "It was really nice to see you again Gyeongseok, I'll see you around, okay?"
He nods, just wanting to leave as soon as he could, "Yeah, of course. You two take care."
Kyeongbae nods at him one more time before they start walking away. Gyeongseok feels like he can't move from his spot. At least not right now.
So much just happened in 10 minutes. All of his questions and thoughts he had over the past two years confirmed...
In just 10 minutes.
He doesn't want to, but he finds himself looking back at them. Just trying to look at Hyunju one more time before possibly never seeing her again.
And to his surprise, he sees her momentarily looking over her shoulder at him, trying to see if he was still there.
He smiles, giving her a small wave before she turns back around.
Gyeongseok turns back around too, slowly walking back towards his house, surprisingly, not as upset as he thought he would be.
In the moment, he felt completely ruined, but after it happened, he felt some sort of relief.
He didn't have to worry about her anymore. She was happy, she has friends, her surgery she had wanted, a boyfriend who hopefully takes care of her well...
And he didn't have to wait any longer for her.
She's not mine. She never was. And...that's okay.
Gyeongseok smiles to himself, letting a soft tear drop down his face.
Things are going to be alright. This is his sign to move on, and he's going to take it.
Even if he might still love her forever, or for at least a long while, he'll know that at some point, she loved him too.
And that was okay with him.
One day, I'll be able to wake up and have you in my mind as just a past memory Cho Hyunju....
One day.