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Pac knows Fit very well, he'd like to think. He doesn't know everything about the American, but he knows what Fit has told him. He knows not to push for extra information or pressure Fit into telling him something.
He can't even imagine doing that, something so cruel to someone so sweet like Fit. Someone who has clearly been forced to deal with similar things in the past, Pac couldn't dare even try. Fits love is precious and Pac would like to keep it as long as possible.
Pac knows some things almost no one else knows about Fit, and it's vice versa. Pac knows that Fits favorite flowers are roses, and in return Fit knows that Pac likes to sing at night.
Love is something valuable, especially when it comes from Fit. Pac learned that a long time ago.
It's a Saturday night when Pac sees Fit cry for the first time. It's a beautiful night, the stars are shining and it's a full moon. Ramón and Richarlyson had just been put to bed, much to one of their dismays.
The eggs had gone to sleep at Pacs house, primarily due to the fact Fit was moving stuff around in the shitshack and none of Richarlysons other parents were awake.
Well, Bagi was awake, but Pac didn't want to bother her when he was fully capable of taking care of Richarlyson. Especially when he had Fits help.
It'd be a wonderful night for some movies, Pac could just imagine it. Him and Fit snuggled up on a couch, watching a movie and falling asleep together—
That's what they would be doing if Pac could find Fit. After putting the eggs to bed, Fit had made up some half-assed excuse that he ‘had to go bother Tubbo’.
Pac knew it was a lie, after all, Fit is - proudly, may he add - in love with Pac and has refused to leave his side multiple times. They usually hang out at least for awhile after the eggs are put to bed.
It's suspicious to Pac. Obviously he says goodbye with a flirtatious wink that made Fits face go so red Pac almost burst into laughter, but he can't help but feel like something is off.
Fit has been acting strangely these past few days. Pac put it aside in hopes it was just the mission's deadline coming up soon, or maybe he was just feeling off— but the longer it happens the more worrying it becomes.
Fit is still a sweetheart per usual, yes, but his hands are more shaky– no matter how hard he tries to hide it. He might be able to hide it from people like Foolish or Luzu, but not Pac.
Not Pac, never Pac. Pac would never forgive himself if he managed to let something like that sneak by his gaze.
It gets more worrying when he checks the map and Fit isn't near Tubbo, in fact Pac can't see his name on the map anywhere. Maybe he turned his visibility off, but it's strange because it was just on.
Nonetheless, Tubbo just texted him asking if him and Fit wanted to see something he built for Sunny.
With a quick tomorrow, i promise! i am sure ramón would want to see it too but he is sleeping kkkkk sent in return, he stands up from his position next to the egg beds and heads upstairs.
Something is wrong with Fit and he will find out what it is, goddammit! That's something he's willing to promise too- anything to keep Fit happy and loved.
He re-opens his communicator, hesitating before clicking Fits name. It could be nothing, maybe the man got distracted by a flower or a bug he had never seen before, but something is nagging at his gut.
His fingers are pressing Fits contact before his mind processes it, typing out the words where are you? before he can stop himself.
Fit is not one to miss messages, especially not ones from Pac. However, when 5 minutes pass and there isn't even a read bobber underneath the message he knows something is wrong.
He knows Fit is strong, something couldn't have happened, but the idea of what if the Federation got him? pops into his mind and he almost trips when he puts on his shoes.
“Pac, calma,” he whispers to himself, tying his shoes and quickly opening his door. The shitshack is right there, he'll just go see if Fit’s in there and if he isn't then he'll start panicking.
He quickly sprints up to the home - if it can be even called that - and grabs onto the ladder. He's never been more glad for a platform surrounding a ladder at the top because the amount of feet he would've just fallen surely would've sprained something.
He closes the trapdoor under him, taking a slow deep breath before he slowly opens the door. Please be in there, please, for everything he loves, be in there.
Fit is there, luckily. However, on the downside, he's in the corner, face in his knees.
“Fitchi!?” Pac gasps, rushing to his side and on his knees in an instant. His eyes scan him for injuries- maybe his prosthetic is having problems? He got tired? Maybe he-
“Pac?” Fit whispers, Pacs heart shattering into a million pieces when he hears how weak that voice is.
“Oh, Fit..” He says softly, one of his hands going to hold Fits. “Can you look at me?”
Please look at me.
The American simply shakes his head limply at the question. Pac hums, “I need you to look at me, please.”
Fits whole body shivers, as if he's holding back something. Pac shifts just enough so his fingers can find their place under the man's chin and lift up softly.
Watery eyes meet Pacs- “Fit?” The Brazilian gently says, as gently as he can be, “are you okay? Did something happen?”
Fit swallows something that almost comes up, shaking his head no. Pac tilts his head, looking around for any clues.
Everything seems fine. Fit doesn't seem to be hurt, his communicator is fine, there's been no alarming messages in chat..
“Did you just need to cry?”
Fit shakes his head again, muttering out a ‘I'm not crying’.
Pac raises an eyebrow, giving him a look. Fit may be strong, the strongest man Pac has ever known, but everyone cries.
“You are. It's okay, anjo..” He replied, kissing the other's forehead. Fits face flushes, though his prosthetic arms fingers reach out.
Pac coos, intertwining their fingers.
Fit lets out a choked sob, globs of tears appearing in his eyes. It breaks Pac's heart just hearing the noise, let alone seeing such a pained look on his beloved's face.
“Anjo, anjo, shh.. it's okay. Tudo bem, tudo bem.” He repeats, removing his arm from under Fits chin and using it to pull him closer.
Fits breaths into Pacs’ collarbone, human hand grasping at the back of his hoodie.
Pac decides it'd be best for him to speak in English, going off how Fits face is currently as buried as it can be into his collarbone, eyes nowhere near the mans communicator.
Pac pats his back, “Fitchi, it's okay.. what's wrong..?”
“Nothing,” Fit whispered, his voice cracking. Pac lets out a hum in response, not believing that for a second.
Sometimes people need a cry, Pac knows that, but there's always a reason. Whether just generally needing to let stuff out or something happened.
“Okay, I-” Fit sobs, “I'm scared.”
“Oh, Fitchi..” Pac whispered, pulling back just enough to look at his eyes. Fits eyes are so full of pain and it has Pacs entire being feel like it's being ripped from its own seams. Fit should never have such a distraught look in his eyes, not his boyfriend.
“Why are you scared?”
“I don't want to lose you.” Fit whispered after a moment, eyes darting like they're looking for a place they can rest and not have to face reality.
“You won't lose me.” Pac huffed, “I won't leave you, you'll always be my love.”
Fit shakes his head, gulping down something again. “Everyone leaves, or dies. My boss told me not to form attachments, Pac–”
“Fuck your boss.” Pac replied, "you're my American boyfriend. I'm not letting you go, got it?”
Fit opens his mouth, as if to argue, but just ends up whispering out a ‘promise?’
“I promise. I promise with everything I have, you will always have me.” Pac replied. He means it, too. Like he'd let Fit go that easily.
Fit lets out a choked sob, face going right back to its place on Pacs collarbone. Pac sighs, already knowing he's going to be here for a while. Not that he has a problem with it - Fit is never, and never will be, an issue - but he's gonna get leg cramps.
“Meu lindo namorado,” Pac mumbled, “Meu anjo.”
He's never seen Fit so desperate before. He'd seen the man look horrified in Purgatory during.. that, he'd seen him shaky and nervous during certain situations, but never like this.
Pac decides to put it on his bucket list. Never let Fit feel like Pac would leave again.