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Chapter Text

Damn, it sucks being 16...
Bullies everywhere. Always trying to steal my lunch money, even when it's only $ 4. They wait for me after class, as if I have nothing else to do. Don't they realize that it doesn't affect me at all? At least, even if I'm being bulky, I'm still a pretty popular guy who can have most of the girls.
Cruel teachers. They all think that their class is what matters the most in the universe. They'll give you 25 assignments due tomorrow not knowing that we have 8 other teachers who do the same. Aw, that sucks.
And parents... Every time I step outside the house, they always think it's to do drugs. If they knew that it doesn't interest me at all... I'm just seeing some friends and I come back with the reputation of a dealer
But also... It's quite fun being 16…
Like I said I can get all the girls (even the cheerleaders) and I have a lot of friends.
I even got a girlfriend, Amy, who is kind and funny. We spent a lot of time together and I really like her.
And also...
No. No, that's all the good things that are happening in my life. Seems like it really sucks, being 16 in this generation.
But I'm not a loser (at least I think) and I'll do everything in my power to make this school year epic. Like really epic. Because class is starting tomorrow and there is no way I will remember my 16th year as some random bullshit. I'll make this year memorable.
The bullies can be ready because this year, I will fight back. I'm Fred Durst, the one and only and nothing in this stupid world will make this school year a disaster.
After all, what's the worst that could happen..?

Chapter Text

Well, I'm sure that some boring popular kid are thinking that their life is a nightmare and that everything sucks. Oh god if they knew my life they would cry like a baby...
Because yes, I am bullied. But not the typical way like you receive some slaps until you give them your lunch money oh no... When I say I am getting bullied, I mean that they'll break my nose and punch me until the school needs to call an ambulance. And this, every single week. I also can't enjoy one single day without being called "weird", "dumb" or "loser".
I'm also the least popular kid in the world. I always eat in the bathroom too shy to be alone in the cafeteria. And for the group project? A real nightmare. Nobody wants to be with me and I always beg the teacher to leave me to do the assignment alone.
Girls? I can stop dreaming... Yes, they all look at me but for bad reasons. They really can't stand my eyeliner or my purple Adidas jacket. I'll probably finish my life alone and that's fine (I guess).
And my parents? There aren't enough bad words to describe how much I hate them. I live with my stupid "mom" (she lost the name mom when she left me alone in a car in full heat) since my dad left for Hawaii with his new wife. He never calls and I don't even know if he is still alive.
And guess what my wonderful "mom" did? She moved to another state which means that I will enter a new school with even more bullies. But life's great I swear (I am sarcastic)
I already hate school and it hasn't even started. I hate my "mom". I hate people of my age. I hate everything.
So I guess nothing worse can happen. The life of Jonathan Davis is already screwed so....

Chapter Text

[FRED'S POV]
The alarm clock is ringing. Shit, this is worse than being stabbed in the chest... I shouldn't have played video games until 2 a.m.
My mom is in the kitchen cooking some pancakes with that fake smile that all the parents get when they are secretly worrying about you.
"Oh, come on Mom I ain't 13 anymore!" I say even if I am eating the pancakes because... I'm hungry after all. Yesterday's game night was so intense that I forgot to eat dinner which means that I'm craving.
My mom smiles while cooking the last pancake. "Ready for this first school day of the year?"
"Nah. There isn't even a new student! Last year there were 9 new kids and this year? None. Geez this year will be boring"
My mom didn't respond. She probably thinks I'm dramatic like always. Oh gosh, she can be soooo annoying sometimes! I look at the clock, still half awake.
"Fuck I'll miss the bus!"
I ran to my room to grab my bag and my red baseball cap. No way I'm going out of the house without it. I see the bus through my window. I was really close to being late on the first day of school of the year.
When I step on the bus, I see my best friend, Wes, in the back seat. I wave at him and sit on his bench.
"Yo Wes! Ready for today?"
"I would like you to kick me in the nuts if one day I am ready for a school day..."
"Yeah, I understand bro..."
I close my eyes. Maybe I could take a little nap before arriving at school because my 4 hours of sleep aren't enough. The ride is like fifteen minutes long. Long enough for a little nap. Damn, I'm so tired...
[JON'S POV]
I wake up feeling sick as hell. I'm sure it's because it's the first day of school and I will get bullied, insulted or whatever...I think I started to normalize living like that. I mean after all, I don't care. When I have my majority I'll move back to my old neighbourhood and start a new life without bullying. I'll probably be lonely but at least I will not get insulted every day... I feel like I plan the victim but no I promise I'm really good with this life even if it sucks.
I drag my feet to the bathroom. My hair looks terrible (like always). I search for the brush but it is nowhere to be found. My "mom" probably took it. Talking about the woman who brought me to life, she isn't home. Of course... She probably needed to go to the store next street to buy a bottle of alcohol. Which one is it gonna be today... Vodka or tequila? Urgh... after all I don't care. She was never there for me. Why should she be now? It's the first day of my last year but it doesn't seem to change anything.
I go to the kitchen searching for something to eat. Anything. I'm so hungry I could literally eat my own hand. I find an apple and take it with me in my bag and my purple Adidas jacket. Time to run to school...
[FRED'S POV]
While getting to my locker, I see the two bullies of the school, Mike and Daniel. Strangely, they are not walking toward my way but toward another student. That's really weird knowing I was the only guy they bullied for the past two years (but... who am I to complain? If they found another target it's quite good news. I may now keep my lunch money) They always got the same angry look on their face like our simple existence frustrated them.
"Yo Wes saw that?"
"What?" Say Wes who is in the locker next to mine. That's such a chance knowing that the principal chose the lockers randomly.
"Mike and Daniel didn't come to me. This year may be different"
Wes turns around to look at them confused...
"Seems like there is a new student," he says while trying to see the boy they insulted.
"No, I'm sure there isn't a new student. The principal said it, remember?"
"He said it in June. Maybe things have changed since"
"Or maybe this fucker is one year younger than us"
"Nah did you see how tall he is?" pointing to the guy with an ugly purple tracksuit. This guy doesn't have any style for sure. But Wes is right. The boy is more than 6 ft tall. He can't be younger and there is no way that Mike and Daniel bully a boy older than them. They may have a good punch but deep inside, they are just some little cowards.
"Whatever... I ain't gonna save this loser "
I looked at Wes. He gave me a strange look. I turn around and see Amy smiling at my face. I almost fell off by surprise. She was standing like half a foot away from my face.
"Gosh, Amy! You nearly gave me a heart attack! What's your problem???"
"Hum... sorry I guess I was too excited to hug you!" she says with a sarcastic look. "Maybe I'll just stop doing that next time"
"Stop that drama queen..."
I close my locker and go to my class followed by Wes without even saying bye to Amy. She can be wayyyyyyyy too much sometimes. I just heard her shout something being my back
"FUCK YOU!"
Damn, I think I need to break up... Amy and I have been together for 6 months but sometimes, she can really play with my nerves. I like her but I don't think I love her anymore. Or if I even loved her once. That can sound cruel, I know it but that's just the truth. She is very kind and everything but I just... don't feel any spark anymore. Did I ever feel some? Amy is the leader of the cheerleaders and I am the most popular guy in school. Everyone was trying to ship me with her and I think I just left people to guide us and our couple. She's just... she's just not for me I guess but how am I supposed to tell her? She will hate me forever and maybe cooperate with Mike and Daniel to make my life a nightmare. That's her kind... she likes revenge and if I leave her, I'll be on her death note.
So I stayed. Because after all I still like her and that's probably enough right?
I entered my history class. Wes and I don't share this class so I need to survive one hour without my best friend. There is only one place left in the front of the class, next to the new student. So Wes was right. There was a new student in our grade. The long-haired boy looks at the desk, concentrating. Like he wanted to know every information about the past of this desk. God damn he looks boring... My karma is definitely not with me today. I sit next to him, nearly scaring him. He looked at me. He is wearing eyeliner and has a piercing. I nearly laughed. He looks so ridiculous. I bet he has never talked to a girl in his entire life. He looks like he didn't shower for a week even if he doesn't smell. His nose is red, certainly from blood after Mike and Daniel bullied them. That's weird: I never bled when these cowards bullied me. Guess they went harder on him. Whatever...
The teacher entered the classroom, tired like all of us
"Hello everyone. Let's all welcome the new student, Jonathan Davis. Jon, — can I call you Jon? — Do you want to introduce yourself to the classroom?
Jonathan lifted his head and looked at the teacher. He looks as tired as me.
"Hum... yeah Miss you can call me Jon and no I don't want to introduce myself thanks"
I barely heard what he said. He is so quiet. What a weirdo...
I was lost in my mind until I heard the word "quiz". Yes. On the first day of school. A fucking history quiz about what we did last year. I am already done with this year.
When I started the quiz, I noticed that Jonathan was looking at my paper. What a jerk! No way he is cheating on me. If only he knew I didn't have a single good answer, maybe he'll stop. I give him a discreet nudge with my elbow, trying to get his attention but he doesn't give a fuck. The teacher comes to us and looks at us.
"Jonathan, am I dreaming or are you cheating?" she says angry and frowning.
Jon looked at her in surprise. "No Miss I promise it's him who is cheating"
OH HELL NAH. WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS TO LIE LIKE THAT? WHAT AN ASSHOLE! I'LL SHOW THIS FUCKING JERK WHAT I AM MADE OF.
"Fred, is that true?"
Come on Fred, say something smart. You can do this.
"Hummmmmm.... well...no.. he's... he's..."
Damn, I fucking hate myself sometimes. Why can't I just say something intelligent? Why did my brain freeze when I needed it the most?
The teacher looked at me, not convinced at all. I can understand: I looked fucking dumb.
"Fred, after school, come to my office we need to discuss"
My mom will kill me. But before that, I'll kill Jonathan. Well, I won't really kill him: I'm not a monster. I'll just bully him like Mike and Daniel bully me. In less than an hour, he made me his public enemy.
I need to find this jerk during lunch.
[JON'S POV]
Oh shit, what did I do? I feel so stupid now. Probably the worst first day of school and only two hours have passed since it started.
Ok, Jon calm down and think of a solution to not get beaten up by this Fred. I can't get bullied two times a day. I just won't survive the whole year if it continues like that.
When I arrived at school this morning, two guys came directly to me. They didn't even speak. They just beat me up one by one until the principal came. It's probably not the first time they did that to a student so I guess they got parents with powerful jobs to avoid getting kicked out of school.. My nose was bleeding as fuck but I couldn't call my "mom" to ask her to pick me up. She was probably already drunk so I went to class anyway. The teacher announces a quiz and damn... I suck at history. So yeah... I copied my bench mate exam, knowing that my mom would have literally beat my ass up if I had an F. When the teacher caught me, I strangled my brain and didn't freeze and I accused the other guy. Why did I say something smart? Why couldn't I just shut my mouth and accept my fate? Now, this popular kid wants to beat me up just like the others. I already got three bullies and it's only noon.
What a fantastic first day...
At least, history was the only class I had with this boy, Fred. This morning. After that, it was geography. Now I can casually go eat lunch alone in the bathroom like always. I always eat lunch in the bathroom. It's quieter and there are no bullies here. Plus, sometimes, if you're lucky, you can hear some conversation that you aren't supposed to hear. And I never say no to some drama.
Unfortunately, the universe was really not on my side today... I heard two guys entering the bathroom, talking.
"He won't escape me. I'll find this dickhead and I'll beat him up."
I knew this voice
Shit
Shit shit
Shit shit shit
It was Fred, obviously. And he was certainly talking about me. I try to continue eating in silence hoping they will not notice.
The other guy started talking.
"A fight on the first day of school? This year is gonna be crazy"
The other guy had a slightly deeper voice, a little more masculine.
And then they both stopped right in front of my cabin. Fred murmurs something to his friend and they start getting closer to me.
I don't want to die. Not today. I WAS GOING TO DIE OVER A STUPID EXAM. I HATE MYSELF.
Fred started giggling. I could feel it.
"Hey, you... with the Adidas tracksuit... I see your purple pants under the doors..."
He said that with a freaky voice like it was a game. It almost made me laugh. Then, I remember that this guy wanted to see me bleed.
Fuck. It was over for me.
"Open the door bitch"
It was more than over.
Then, without any hesitation, Fred kicked the door, causing it to open revealing my stupid face with my stupid sandwich. He grabs me by the collar and pushes me out of the cabin, against the wall, making me drop my sandwich. I'll never be so scared for my life. Damn, I was going to die.
No Jon. It's just the popular guy. You know they talk more than they act.
"Listen here fucker, it's the first and last time that you fuck with my or I'll transform your life into pure shit."
"You can try: it's already pure shit" True. Sometimes it's useful to have a shitty life.
He pushed me against the wall again and harder.
"Don't respond when I'm talking to you, loser. I'll promise that if you continue to mess with me you'll hear my name in your nightmare. It's not a threat but a promise" His eyes were wide open, like he wanted to make sure I understood every single word. I did. But I wasn't scared. He was just a little troublemaker. The typical popular. I know them. They just want to make your life a nightmare.
Before letting me go, he spits on me while laughing with his friend.
School year started less than a day ago LESS THAN A DAY. And I'm already the worst enemy of someone. I hate this school. I hate Fred, this stupid boy with a stupid baseball cap. He wanna plays? Then let's play.
[FRED'S POV]
The bell is ringing. Finally! This first day was intense but even if I don't have any homework due tomorrow, something about school is still on my mind.
As something I mean more someone...
This asshole of Jonathan Davis.
Well, he deserves everything I did but was I a little too rough? Nah I don't think so. After all, it's him who told the teacher that I was cheating even though I didn't do anything. He deserves the threat but maybe I shouldn't have spit on him. It makes me look like Mike and Daniel. I hate them so much I really don't want to be like them or to act like them. But Jon was a jerk right?
...right?
No he deserves it.
Damn, I hate new students. I don't know why I wish there were some this year. How dumb was I!
SHIT!
I was too slow in the lockers and the bus was going without me! I'm running but I know it's useless. I'll need to walk home and all this because I had some pity for this asshole. HE CAN FUCK HIMSELF.
He wants a battle? I'll give him a war.

Chapter Text

[FRED'S POV]

I didn't sleep last night. Not a single minute. If I was already tired yesterday I don't know how I will survive this day. My eyes are stuck together like there was glue in them. I know this day is gonna be slowwwwwwwwww.
The reason? Miss Patricia, my history teacher. I completely forgot to go see her after the end of class. Now I'll probably have something else than a simple F on the quiz.
There is also another reason... Amy. I didn't even talk to her yesterday. She'll probably break up with me which will ruin my reputation and that wasn't my plan.
Ok ok I know I sound really cruel like that but I'm not I promise. Amy is just really good at revenge and even if it's her who broke up, she'll probably end my life or something like that. Ok maybe I'm dramatic but nah she's cruel. More than me
My mom is already at work letting me go to school alone. Damn, I miss her pancakes...
I open my phone. He nearly exploded from all the messages I received this night. Amy sent me 72 insults in 3 hours. Gosh... she didn't get the busy life she wanted to have so much free time.
But she wasn't the only one to make my phone explode. Wes sent me more than 10 jokes and I received some friend's request. Let's see them
Chester? The nerd musician? No thanks
Daron? He was probably drunk when he did that.
Paul? Nah he scares me
Oh, there is only one left and it's... Jonathan? AM I FUCKING DREAMING? WHY DOES THIS ASSHOLE WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?
I click on his profile. With some chance, it might be another Jonathan. That's a common name after all. But no. The first picture that I see is him with his signature ugly-as-fuck adidas tracksuit. Damn, it's so ugly.
But why does he want to be my friend? Well maybe he doesn't want but why did he send a friend request? He hates me just as much as I hate him. I click on the "refuse" button but
SHIT
SHIT. FUCK. SHIT
My finger trembled causing me to press on the other button. The "accept" button
Screw it. He probably pressed the "send friend request" button accidentally too.
After grabbing my lunch and my red cap, I enter the bus. Wes is still in the back seat and I go sit with him.
"Man, are you okay? You look like you haven't slept at all"
I turn to Wes with a look of depression.
"YOU DIDN'T SLEEP AT ALL?"
"Nah man I forgot to go see Miss. Patricia after classes and I know she will probably be mad enough to call my mom who will yell at me because apparently I cheated in an exam the first day of the year"
"This Jonathan really bothers you doesn't it?"
"Oh yeah! But at least nothing forces me to hang out with him. It's not like we had a group project or that all our classes were together"
"Right..."
"You okay?"
"Nah my dad found a bottle of beer under my bed and screamed that I was a deception for nearly an hour"
"Damn... didn't know you were drinking"
"I will not survive this school year without alcohol. And I'm 17 in a month and a half. That's not too young to drink"
I shrug my shoulders. What was I supposed to say? And it's not like I'm better than him. He knows I smoke in secret.
When I arrive at school, I run directly to Miss Patricia's office. No time to waste. When I enter the room, she's quieter than ever.
"Mr. Durst..." she says calmly. It's weird to be called like that.
"Miss I'm so so so so so so so sorry for yesterday. I had sooooo many things in my mind and I missed the bus and I forgot about our meeting."
"That's okay" she continued, always calm. That's not a good thing. She hides something I can feel it. "Yesterday I just wanted to tell you that you'll have an F in the quiz."
Oh, that's all? No phone calls? Phew!
"But..."
Argh... nothing can be that easy...
"Because you missed yesterday's meeting, you'll have a task to do"
"What task?"
"I want you to accompany Jon around and during school"
Was she joking? I can't tell. I hope she is..
"Jon like the new guy? No please everything but that"
"Don't you understand Frederick? It's not a wish. It's a request. You need to do it or I'm calling your mom"
I hated her.
[JON'S POV]
Last night was crazy. I couldn't sleep so I searched names to know who was who in this school.
I learned that the two bullies were named Mike and Daniel. Stupid names for bullies if you want my opinion...
Fred's friend was called Wes. He reminds me of someone but I don't know who. I'm sure I saw him before school started.
I also spied on Fred. I wanted to know who that jerk was. He had a lot of friends as I saw. The typical popular guy that doesn't give a shit about anyone else but him... I hate him.
But something happened yesterday. Accidentally, ACCIDENTALLY, I clicked on "send friend request" on Fred's profile. I wanted to delete the request but it would have only felt more wrong. So I leave it. After all, he will never accept it so who cares...
"Mom" was out of course... probably buying cheap bottles from teens... the house was in total chaos and I know that I would be my job to clean everything.
I only put one step in the school where Mike and Daniel come to me. Dang... they'll never leave me alone will they? I don't want to be stuck with them all year. It's only the second day and I'm already done.
They try to grab me by my collar but I step back just in time. Searching in my pocket I handed them a 10-dollar bill.
"Here you go. My lunch money. Happy?"
They were shocked. Guess that nobody is as weak as me... I smiled and turned back. Why would they fight if they already got what they wanted? I looked at my watch. The bell rings in one minute. I need to run to my class immediately or I'll be late. And I cannot be late on the second day.
I drag myself to math class. There was only one place left just next to a girl. She was pretty. Like really pretty. I could see the other girls looking at her with envy. And the boys with love but strangely, no one sits next to her. It may be my lucky day...
I smile at her. She looks at me but doesn't smile. Whatever... I know I don't have a chance after all...
The teacher is talking nonsense about an assignment to do in class.
"You'll need to do this assignment with your bench mates. No exceptions ."
Nobody seems really happy about that info. But me? I was in heaven. I was teamed up with the most beautiful girl in school. I turn to her.
"Hi! Hmm... I'm Jonathan. Everyone calls me Jon. Any ideas for this project?"
" Honestly no!" She laughs. God dammit her laugh was beautiful. Like pure melody to my ears.
"Thats ok we will work together in that. After all it's just a stupid assignment..."
We laugh and talk for the rest of the hours. Everything feels so perfect. She was kind, cute, smart, funny and sooooooo pretty. How can a girl like that be single? But after all, who am I to complain? The bell was ringing and I realized I had forgotten to ask her something.
"Hey! What's your name?"
She looks at me with the most beautiful eyes of the world. I could literally drown in them.
"If you find my name I'll give you my number," she said, winking.
Isn't that... a little too fast? Anyway, I need to find the identity of the mysterious girl as soon as possible.
I was going to my locker when I realized someone was waiting for me there. While getting a little closer I notice the red baseball cap. Didn't he already bully me yesterday?
"What do you want?" I said while opening my locker.
"Hey calm down buddy. Because of your stupid lie, the teacher wants me to guide you around school because you're new. You can only blame this on you"
Hanging out with him all day? The dentist seems more fun.
"That won't happen"
'Yes, it will. Or Miss Patricia will call our mothers. You want that?
No. With my luck, the call will happen when she's drunk. And she's more aggressive when she's drunk.
"Ok... And I guess you're waiting here to eat lunch with me right?"
"Unfortunately... come on hurry up my bacon sandwich will be cold"
"I think you should lay off the bacon Fred"
"And you're better shut your fucking mouth, Jon," he said angry
I hate him.
While walking in the cafeteria, I see Mike and Daniel running into us. They grab both of us by the collar.
"Give us your lunch money fags or I'll make sure to cover your face with red"
"I gave it to you guys this morning remember? " I said calmly. "But hey if you need more, take these 5 dollars and leave us alone now"
They did what I asked for.
"And we aren't gay dumbass!" Fred screams.
I look at him, holding my laugh.
"That was pathetic," I say while laughing
"Shut up loser! You got nothing)
"False: I got hair"
"And I have self-esteem" he responds.
I lift my middle finger at him while following him to his table.
[MIKE'S POV]
I hate myself so much when I bully someone. I feel like shit. Every time. Every. Time. If only people understood there is a reason behind all that. That I'm not just meant to be mean. That I don't steal lunch money just to steal. But I know that I'm a bad person. I know it, but if I don't give some money to my parents, we won't have enough money to pay rent.
Yes it's pathetic. The money I steal from classmates is what helps me having a house.
And that's why I really appreciate this new student. Jonathan, I think his name is... He is so afraid of me, so weak that he doesn't hesitate to give me the money. I don't even have to punch him to get what I want. For once, I don't feel like a criminal.
Daniel is next to me, counting all the money we got to split it 50/50.
"30 dollars in two days. Not that bad. This new kid will make us rich!"
I laughs. I know Daniel is not that stupid to think that we can be rich with only 15 dollars each. Funny guy...
He hands me my money, 20 dollars. That's not right.
"You gave me twenty"
"I know"
"Why did you do that?"
"You need it more than I" He smiles. Just a little bit. I never saw him smile.
I handed back the 5 dollars. "I don't want your pity"
"It's not pity," he says while refusing to take the money. "It's kindness. Please accept it, Mike"
His green eyes are piercing. I never noticed that before. Daniel really looks.. different today. Something changes inside of him. I can feel it. He was never gentle with anyone. Even with me who was his best friend for years. Why now?
I put the 5 dollars in my pocket and smile.
"Thanks. Thanks a lot"
"No problem Mike." His voice was quiet.
He stands up and go away. He never said anything after that but I knew, deep down in me, that we will not steal any money tomorrow. He is more kind now. Less violent. He'll stop bullying I know it. And if he stops, I'll stop too. Not because I need him or that I'm too weak to bully someone alone but because I always hated to do that and by quitting, Daniel did the first step for me. So I'll follow him. I'll change too.
Yes, I'll change. I promise.
[FRED'S POV]
The bell. Finally. Hearing the bell is like receiving a Christmas gift. I rush to the lockers, grabbing my stuff fast so I don't miss the bus again.
In the bus, I notice that Wes isn't here. Strange... I saw him less than ten minutes ago, rushing outside. Maybe he decided to walks?
Oh....
Maybe he runs to see a girl?
I may spy on him one day to confirm my hypothesis.
I sit in the bus, thinking.
Lunch wasn't that bad. I mean I still hate this guy but I will survive around him. He's still a loser. He's still a weirdo who wears eyeliner but I mean, it could be worse. He could be a bully for example... We didn't talk. He's still shy as fuck.
When he left our tables, he forgot his geography book. The time I noticed, Jon was already gone. I tried to find him in school but he wasn't anywhere. So I took the book with me, hoping to give it to him tomorrow.
The bus stops. It's my turn to get out. Mom isn't home so I grab some snacks. If she knew, she would yelled to me that I would not be hungry for dinner anymore. God damn...
I look at my schedule. Fuck! I don't have any classes with Jon tomorrow and I think he got a geography class. I know it's a bad decision but I decided to grab my phone to text him. After all, we are "friend" according to the internet.
(Fred): Hey fucker you're online?
(Jon): Yeah bitch. Why do you text me?
(Fred): You forgot your geography book at our table at lunch and I think you have a geography class tomorrow so come to my locker as soon as possible tomorrow so I can give it to you.
(Jon): You stalked my schedule now?
(Fred): No dumbass! Why would I do that? I have a life compared to you.
(Jon): ahah! Liar. You stalked my schedule.
(Fred): No!
(Jon): Then swear it
I want to insult him but I can't. Not because I have pity for him or that I start to see him as a friend but because he is right. I stalked his schedule the first day just to know if why had any other classes together. (Unfortunately yes we also got English and P.E together)
(Fred): Ok ok I did it but just to know what other classes we got together
(Jon): I knew it....
And then he went offline. I want to punch this motherfucker so much...
I hate him so much
Why does he need to complicate my life like that? Why can't he just do his own stuff?
Dang! I forgot Amy again...

Chapter Text

[JON'S POV]

I couldn't sleep. He was stalking my schedule. That's...weird. Like really weird. He hates me why would he do that? Does he find it funny?
Why did he accepted my friend request?
And slowly, my mind drift to his friend, Wes. I'm sure I saw I'm somewhere. At lunch, I couldn't help but stared at him, confused. He really remind me of someone. And not in a good way. Like I know that there is a reason why u hate him. I just can't remember.
[some hours laters...]
I wake up, tired like always. "Mom" is home... thats really strange like REALLY strange. She welcome me with a bug hug that smells like alcohol.
"Hello sweetheart! So today is the last day of the first week of school! How do you find this new place?"
I want to cry and throw up at the same time. It makes me so emotional when she talks to me like a real mom does. But at the same time, it seems disgusting, I know that all this kindness and this calm behaviour is caused by alcohol and nothing else and it just makes me sick to remember that my "mom" is drunk 90% of the time. And then she wonders why my dad ran away...
I couldn't even look her in her eyes. It makes me sick. I want to be blind.
"It's fine..."
"People are kind with you at school?"
"Yeah," I lied quickly. She already hates me: if she knows I'm getting bullied, her love for me will not grow.
She looks at me, dead I'm the eyes, searching for something. Then, her expression shifts to calm and kind to annoyed and mad.
"Am I dreaming or are you wearing eye liner?"
"Uhhhh yeah? What's the problem?"
"You look like one of those stupid fags"
I always knew my "mom" wasn't really open but I never knew she was homophobic. She continues to talk...
"Please reassure me by saying you like girls"
I was shocked by the question. I... actually never thought of that. I assume I like girls because I look at girls even if I never had any crushes before.
"Yeah of course Mom don't worry"
"Ok ok good thing because I'm not raising a sinner"
Fuck, I hate her.
"Uhh ok... I'll miss the bus so bye..."
I ran quickly outside, almost forgetting my lunch box. Maybe that, without lunch money, Mike and Daniel will leave me alone.
I took the bus (for the first time! Normally I always miss it). Fred was sitting on the last bench. The place next to him was the only free seat, so I had no other choice but to sit there.
"Can I?" I ask calmly
"Yeah yeah" He didn't even look at me while saying that. Too bad for him if he downer recognize me
"You okay?" I asked. I didn't even know why I said that. I didn't care. He was never kind to me so why should I be?
"No" he said "But I won't tell you a damn thing. We aren't friends. I don't like you and you don't know me and I only hang out with you because Miss Patricia asked me too. After next week, I'll leave you alone and I'll come back to my friend group while you'll come back to your loneliness. We got nothing in common and you look like a loser with this stupid tracksuit. Do you even wash it? I feel like you wear it every single day. Do you even take a shower? Anyway all this to say that no, life sucks but I'll survive. And plus, why do you even care? Don't you hate me?"
"That's... that's a lot of questions" I laughed. "To answer all of them yes I wash my tracksuit and I'm sure it smells better than your old cap. Secondly, yes I take a shower. Every single day. Even when the city stopped giving us some electricity because we didn't pay. Thirdly, I really don't know why I care. And lastly, yes I fucking hate you with all my heart but you're right life sucks and I need to hang out with you one more week before I'm finally free and I can finally come back to my quiet life without any drama."
"Same," he said. "Seems like since you're here, my life has changed and not in a good way. So I'll be very happy to not have to spend time with you anymore"
"Then... if we hate each other so much, why don't we insults each others?"
"I don't know..." he said while holding a little smile. He didn't want me to see it but I definitely saw it.
"Then, fuck you"
"Fuck you too"
"You're just a bitch"
"And you're just an asshole"
"Jerk"
"Dickhead"
"Fag"
He looks at me dead in the eyes.
"Loser. You're pathetic with this make up. I bet you never talked to a girl in your entire life."
"Nah I talked to your mom yesterday"
"Don't you dare talk about my mom like that"
"Don't you dare say that I'm a loser"
"Whatever..."
The bus stops. That was the final destination: school. I get up and run inside to go to my locker when I feel something (well someone) pulling my collar. If people continue to do that, my favorite jacket will look like pure shit next week. I turn back and see Fred, annoyed.
"Don't you forget your geography book"
I look at him and then at what was in his hand, I grab my book, accidentally touching his hand and walk away.
"Thanks bro"
Bro? I felt ridiculous. I hate this guy so why do I call him bro? He must thinks I want to be his friend which is completely false. If only I could turn back time to make sure to never call him like that...
Maybe he's right: maybe I'm a loser. Maybe I'm pathetic
Maybe I'm a fag.

[FRED'S POV]
I enter math class with a lump in my throat. I feel so stupid. Why did I grab him by the collar like a fucking bully in front of everyone? Was I becoming a bully like Mike and Daniel? I don't want to. I really don't. Maybe I am too rough with this fool. I feel bad for him. Like really
Wait Fred shut the fuck up why would you feel bad for this guy?
He literally accused you of cheating. He a liar and who knows in what else he lies.
My hand feels dizzy and numb. He accidentally touched it while grabbing his school book. His hand was cold like a dead body. It scared me for a moment and when u look to his eyes, I saw something. Something else than just a lonely expression.
Behind his brown eyes, I saw a strength that made my blood cold. Like he was able to beat me up in twelve seconds if he wanted but he just didn't want. Maybe he wasn't THAT loser.
I continue to think about that during the next few hours until the bell rings. When I came out of my second class, I saw something I wish I never saw. Worst than Mike and Daniel. Worst than this fucking Jon.
It was... it was Amy.

[JON'S POV]
I had math class at second period, just after Fred. When I enter the class, this mysterious girl keeps waving and talking to me.
"Hey Jon! How are you? I'm happy to see you!"
I smiled, surprise that this girl really had an interest in me.
"I'm good thanks! And you? You're good?"
"Oh yeah I'm alright thanks. I got some ideas for the project. You know, the assignment we need to send next week.."
"Well thats a good thing because I don't have any ideas."
She laughs. I like her laugh.
"You can come to my house tomorrow so we can do the project. Only if you're available of course!"
"Uh yeah I'm surely am. Just give me your address and I'll be there at 2 p.m."
She grabs a note book, tear up a page and write down her address in a fluorescent pink ink. She folds the sheet carefully before putting it in my pocket. All this in the most flirty way imaginable.
We talked and laugh the whole period. When we come out of the class, she asks me something.
"Can I come eat either you today?"
She said that while putting a hand on my chest. I just couldn't deny the offer.
And then this happens. I saw Fred, running towards us, angry as hell. He comes to the girl, irritating.
"Can you tell me what the fuck is on your mind to flirt with another guy right below my eyes? Do I need to remind you that we are in COUPLE Amy??
So her name was Amy. And of course, she was Fred's girlfriend. I can be so unlucky sometimes.
After arguing for two big minutes, the couple stop and Fred start looking at me.
"You son of a bitc-"
"Hey calm down Fred. Trust me when u say she never told me she was in couple. I SWEAR if I knew I would have never talk to her."
Amy looks a us with a surprising look "YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?"
"Let's just say we are not on good terms," said Fred, still looking at me.
"Fred, please calm down. I'll explain everything I promise."
"I don't need your fucking explanation" he said between his teeth.
Then, he punched me right in the face. I almost lose my balance but fortunately I don't fall.
Then, something switch in me. This guy really wants to beat me up. And if he wants, then he can. But I won't be his next victim. I refuse to be. All the adrenaline in my body turned on. I was gonna make this motherfucker bleed.
"Oh, you're sure you wanna fight Fred?" I said while punching him harder in the face.
He failed and his nose started to bleed. But of course, I wasn't finished. I was gonna make sure he'll never think of bullying me again. I went to my knees making sur to imprison him with them and I continue to punch him as hard as I can. He starts to bleed from everywhere. He cover his face with his hands.p, making me stop.
I get up, rub my hands and spits on him.
"If you ever think of beating me up again, I'll make sure to transform your life into your worst nightmare. This isn't a treat. It's a promise."
I feel cool turning his own words against him. He slowly puts his hands away, revealing a face completely red from blood. At this exact moment, the principal walks in.
"YOU TWO, IN MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY"
In the office, the principal, Mr. Bennington didn't even talk to me. I was alone while Fred was with the school nurse.
After ten good minutes, Fred walks in. After cleaning the blood, we could see a big black eye and a deep cut in his lip. He also has a lot of bruises a little bit everywhere. Behind blue eyes, I could see rage. What did I do god dammit!? He was surely gonna beat me up after school
Mr. Bennington sits in his chair. We could see that he was mad. Not a little mad like BIG mad.
"One week. School only started a week ago and one of you cheat on the other while the other beat him up"
He gets up and walk around his office, pissed.
"Jonathan. Don't you remember that you're a new student? Do you really want to be kicked out of this new school in one week?"
"No sir"
"And Fred, you aren't better. Your grades are terrible and this school isn't fight club. Do you want me to call your parents?"
"No sir"
Fred was looking at the ground. I can feel that something was wrong at his house. Why is he so scared about the principal treat to call his parents?
"You both gonna be suspended for the two next day of school. Now go away"
I get up, take my stuff and go. Fred does the same but the principal stop him.
"Mr. Durst, please stay. We need to talk about something"
I look at Fred and whisper "sorry" between my teeth before leaving.

[FRED'S POV]
I...I just don't know how to respond to the principal's question. I'm literally shocked. My mind is blurry, my nose, my eye, my lip and all my face hurt. I feel like I cannot think well. This asshole of Jonathan literally beat me up. I heard him saying sorry and yeah, he maybe is, but it disent erase what he did. But another part of me think that I deserved it. I mean... I spits on him just because of a F. I may have been a jerk too right? Still, that doesn't answer the principal question. Why the hell did he asks me that! I've probably took too much time to think because he repeat the question
"Fred, why didn't you fight back? Don't lie. I know it's not because you were afraid to be kicked out. You're an impulsive guy and this fear wouldn't have stopped you. And no offence to Jonathan but you could have easily won. What happened? Why did you let him beat you like that?"
The real answer? I really don't know. I was mean to Jon and maybe he thought that I deserved it. That it was my fate. That's probably the only reason.
Or maybe... I didn't want to hurt him.
No shut up Fred. You don't like this guy. He is not your friend so of course you wanted to hurt him.
But maybe if I wanted, I would've done it.
No Fred shut up.
"I... I don't know Mr. I really don't"
"I know you don't have a good relationship with your dad. Am I right?"
He already knows the answer. I don't know why he asks.
"Uh yeah. My dad can be... aggressive. Just sometimes. Since my parents are divorced, I didn't see him once a year"
"Is your dad homophobic Fred?"
What the hell was this question? What was the connection
"Why does it matter in the conversation?"
"Just to know. I really wonder why you didn't fight back."
"Do you think it's because I like him? Hell no! You can keep dreaming Mr! I'm more straight than you. Can I go now?"
"Yes, you can go."
I grab my cap and my bag and go outside. Just when I open the door, he asks for me again.
"Fred?"
"Yeah, Mr. Bennington?"
"I may be wrong. But if my hypothesis is true just remember that it's ok. You ain't a sinner. You ain't a monster."
I wanted to scream in his stupid face that it wasn't that but I couldn't take the risk of being kicked out so I just silently responded.
"Thanks"
Ok, time to flirt with girls...

[...]

Before going to sleep, my phone rang. It's a message from Jon.
(Jon): hey man I know you probably hate me right now (like every other moment of the day) but please can we sign peace? In only a week, I was part of three fights and I really won't survive. I just want you to leave me alone. I'll tell Miss. Patricia that you did your task and after that, we can continue our lives without having to insult each other every two seconds. Let's just put this behind us and forget everything. I know it's already a proven fact that you're waiting for me to die but yeah. So... peace?
He wasn't wrong. We couldn't spend the entire year hating each other.
(Fred): Ok peace. But we aren't friends. We are just not enemies anymore.
(Jon): ok. Thanks.
(Fred): No problem "bro"
I feel cool using his own words against him...

Chapter Text

[JON'S POV]
Morning sucks. Today, it's been exactly one month since school started and nothing has changed.
Mike and Daniel stopped bullying us. In one day, they went from "bullies without any hearts" to "some little troublemakers". I don't know what happened but I think it's a good thing. They still don't like me and they continue to insult me whenever they see me but insults are better than knuckles so I won't complain.
My English and history teachers decided to make me sit with Fred. I'm sure that the principal told them to do that so we would build some kind of friendship or whatever... We often talk (mostly insults) but we coexist and that's quite good. I still hate him tho. And I know he does too. For me, he is the stereotypical popular boy that think his life is hell even though I would give everything I have just to have half of what he has. He dosent give a fuck about anyone, don't study (and then complain about bad grades) and I just (sometimes) can't stand his attitude.
Also, I don't know what the principal told him after I left the office the day of the fight but he looked at me differently. He makes everything in his power to not meet my gaze. He talks to me the same but it's like he was ashamed to look me in the eyes.
About that day, precisely, Mr. Bennington called my mom. She was already drunk when I came home and she screamed every single insults to me saying how much of a terrible child I was. She even tried to throw a bottle of wine at me. Fortunately I got good reflex...
Since the fight, I also got a kind of reputation. Not a good one of course: I hit the most popular guy of the whole school multiple times. I heard people saying that I was jealous or something. Me? Jealous of Fred? No never. Well, he got the life I always dreamed of, friends I'll never have, pretty eyes and luck around girls but I am not jealous. Ok ok well maybe I'm a little bit jealous but only about his life. Nothing else of course. Now, all the school knows that we are kind of enemies. I sometimes heard younger students saying "ohhhhhhhh" every time me Fred and I cross each other in the corridor. I always find it pretty funny not gonna lie.
Oh and Amy? Well, she continued the flirty attitude with me even after the fight. She is still beautiful, kind and funny but she also remains Fred's girlfriend and I won't try anything. Well... I won't do the first move.
I almost forgot! There is also a new student. His name is Chino. He is in my history and geography class. He's a little bit pathetic: always tries so hard to be the funny guy. He doesn't have any friends either so we eat lunch together. He doesn't really appreciate me either but at least, it's less of a shame to eat together than alone. It's been a while since I sat at a real cafeteria table. I was so used to the toilet seat. I won't consider him a friend but I tolerate him and that's enough for me. He also already has a car so he gives me lifts in the morning. Here he is, in my driveway, honking.
I get in his car with my bag.
"Wow, you brushed your hair! That's rare. Is today a special occasion?"
He's right. I bought another brush and brushed my hair. But there wasn't any reasons.
"Be quiet and drive Chino..."
"Let me think about what you got today... English, history, geography and... math! Is it to impress the pretty Amy?"
"I said shut up! I don't give a fuck about Amy. She is in a couple with a guy who wants my death."
"And you? Do you want his death?"
"Well no! Why this question?"
"I don't know... maybe I was wrong and you don't want to impress Amy but you want to make Fred jealous!" he says while laughing.
Oh gosh... not the gay jokes again...
"And you? I saw how you were looking around in history class. I bet there is a girl there that you like"
He blushes, tries to hide it but I know I am right. Little Chino got a crush!
"I... I don't know what you're talking about!"
I laugh.
"Come on Chino! You sweat like you just ran a marathon and your face is red like a strawberry."
He sighs.
"She... she doesn't notice me..."
He parked the car. The ride is always really short but at least I can wake up a bit later. I get out of the car and walk by him.
"One day she will. I promise" I say while ruffling his hair.
"And who are you to give me love advice? You never even had a crush! Do you even like girls? Like seriously asking."
"I..."
The bell rings. Seems like the karma is with me today
"I need to go" I continue "see you at second period"
I walk into English class and sit next to Fred. He is looking at his feet as usual. I give him a discreet kick.
"You okay?"
"Yeah now shut up."
He didn't even look up. Damn, he's so shy with me. Is he planning to kill me or what? I think I'm starting to be paranoid...
"Can... can you come see me after class in the lockers? It's about Amy. You need to know something about her"
I nod.
"I'll be there"

[FRED'S POV]
I don't even know where to start... So many things happened in three weeks.
When my mom saw me coming home after the fight, she cried. LITERALLY. For one full hour, she cried asking who made me that. She asked again and again but I just couldn't say it was Jon.
"It's no one Mom I promise it was no one"
Of course, she didn't trust me.
"Look at those bruises! Look at this black eye!" she screamed while handing me a mirror. Jon really made me bad but I couldn't care less about what he did to me: the words of the principal kept ringing in my mind.
On this day again, they keep ringing in my mind.
"You ain't a sinner. You ain't a monster"
But I am not gay. I will never be gay.
Fortunately, my mom didn't call my dad. If he knew, he would have beat my ass up.
Then, my mom asked me the cursed question.
"Why didn't you defend yourself?"
"I..."
I decided to tell the truth. What was the worst that could happen?
"I didn't want to"
And then she cried harder.
After that day, I couldn't look at Jon in the eyes. I was so ashamed to not be able to beat him up. I was so ashamed to not be able to hate him.
Now, here I am, in English class, trying to survive next to Jon.
The bell rings. Finally. I need to talk to him about Amy. I saw how she looks at him. She wants to make me jealous I know it.
Jon is already at my locker. He was faster than me to pick up his stuff.
"So... why did you want to talk to me?"
"Amy... she... she knew I couldn't stand you. I told her about the fight in the restroom and I'm afraid she talks to you just to make me jealous. I've been in a couple with her for months now and she cheated on me multiple times when I didn't give her enough attention. She's probably flirting with you to hurt me. "
It was true. Amy really cheated on me multiple times but nobody really knew and I never told anyone.
"Why do you even CARE? You hate me! I'm sure it would make you happy to see me hurt by Amy."
The lockers are now empty. Class has started. We're alone.
"No offence but let's be honest: you are not her style. Did you see yourself?"
"Oh go fuck yourself"
"I'm just honest. Nobody like you."
"You. You like me. Am I wrong?"
He takes his finger and presses my throat with it. To free myself, I step back. I'm now against a locker. He keeps silent and continues to press. It hurts really badly. I'm sweating. I don't know how to answer his question. He is wrong. Well, he's maybe wrong.
"You must like me a little bit to care about me."
"Oh shut up"
"Of course"
He continues to press my throat. I can't speak anymore. It hurts too much. His face is close to mine.
"I'll shut up when you'll admit it"
"I..."
He's going to kill me if he continues. I can't breathe anymore.
"I... like... you..."
He stops and takes his finger from my throat.
"Oh yeah?"
I look at him. His brown eyes are piercing. His eyeliner is perfectly traced. I don't know how I feel... around him.
I nod and run away.
What the hell just happened?

[JON'S POV]
I don't even know why I asked him that. I never knew I was brave enough to ask him that. I enter in history class.
Oh gosh.
I forgot I was with Fred in this class.
I sit next to him.
"Jon is there a reason why you are late?" asks Miss. Patricia.
"No. You can give me a detention"
At this point, I don't care if I got a detention.
I look at Chino. He is randomly smiling and looking around. It's so obvious that he's in love but with you? I look at the girls. No one is Chino's type but do I even know what's Chino's type?
Then, my eyes randomly stare at Mike by pure accident. He looks back at me and raises his middle finger. Normal Mike reaction I guess..
[...]
I was walking in the cafeteria when someone grabbed my hand. It was Amy. Oh gosh, not now. I couldn't handle other drama.
"Heyyy can I talk to you?"
She looks so... fake. Fred was right: she was definitely playing with my mind and my heart. At least she's trying because I don't feel anything for her. Well, I think...
"Ok but be quick."
I feel so stupid and dry. Why can't I be kind to her? After all, she is everything I ever wanted. She walks with me, dragging me into the lockers where there is nobody. The same lockers I was in with Fred earlier. I still don't know why I pressed his throat like that. I was just done being the victim. I like the sensation of power that fighting gives me. I also don't like Fred so I like to make him uncomfortable.
"So... I heard that you and Fred have disappeared in the lockers"
Finally, I think I prefer my quiet life to my reputation. How do people know that? Did they hear what I said to him? What did he respond? I hate this school.
"I bet he told you to stop hanging with me, am I right?"
"Maybe..."
"I can promise you I'm not a bad person Jon. Why don't you trust me!"
"You cheated on him multiple times! You sure you're not a bad person?"
"I have changed since"
"Then why do you flirt with me? You didn't change a lot!"
"Why do you even care? I thought you hated him after all!"
She's right. Or is she?
"I don't want you, Amy."
"Are you sure?" She walks towards me. I could smell her breath. I wonder if Fred could've done the same when I talked to him earlier. "Am I not everything you searched for?"
She moves forward a little further. I was now against the lockers. Just like Fred earlier.
JON SHUT UP! Why are you thinking about him? It's not because he doesn't hate you that you need to feel the same!
"Amy, please stop"
She doesn't. She came a little closer. We couldn't be closer now.
"Don't you want to kiss me?"
"No"
"Why? If you give me a good reason, I'll let you go"
"Because..."
But I couldn't find a single good reason.
"Come in Jon! I'm sure you know"
"Just leave me alone Amy. Nothing will happen between us."
"But why? Like I said I will let you go when you give me a good reason. And your begging is not a good reason. It's cute tho..."
"I don't want you because..."
"Because what? Did you swallow your tongue?"
I wonder if I sounded that aggressive when I was talking to Fred. I wonder how he took it. Damn... he doesn't hate me... that's crazy...that's also cool because I don't think I hate him either. Ughhh... my mind is spinning so much. I need to stop. Stop thinking about Fred. Breathe Jon. You can say it out loud. She won't tell anyone you know it. She is too much in love with you to betray you.
You can do this Jon. You can tell her.
Go Jon say it,
SAY IT.
"I don't want you because I'm gay."
I heard her gasp. I can tell she wasn't thinking about that. She steps back, brings some distance between us and she starts awkwardly looking around.
"Oh...You're... you're sure?"
"Sure"
The weight on my shoulders went away when I said that sentence. Everything feels right now.
"I...uh... I haven't noticed"
She looks embarrassed and also...disgusted?
"Well, it's true. I'm gay. I'm a fag. I like men. What do you want more?"
"I... I don't know"
The silence is awkward.
"I... I need to go."
"Then go"
She ran away and I stayed in the lockers. I can't realize I just did my coming out. It feels good. It feels right.

Chapter Text

[JON'S POV]
I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing. It was 6 a.m. and I was tired like I hadn't slept at all.
Yesterday. I did my coming out. Well to Amy only but it's already that. At least now I can assume to myself that I'm gay.
I remember all those gay jokes Chino did. I didn't like them at all not because they were shit (even tho they were) but more because they made me uncomfortable. Now it makes so much sense: I hated them because it reminded me of the truth which was that I am gay. It feels so right now.
I took my phone. More than twenty notifications from Fred. What does he want?
(Fred): Are you awake?
I need to talk to you
Now.
Like right now.
Please be online.
Can't you just wake up early?
WE NEED TO TALK.
ITS URGENT.
Like third world war urgency.
(I swipe to the last message. No way I'm reading all this bullshit)
IS IT TRUE THAT YOU DID YOUR COMING OUT?
The last message froze me. How... how does he know? I didn't tell anyone except Amy and I'm sure she didn't betray me.
(Jon): Who the fuck told you?
(Fred): AMY! THE WHOLE SCHOOL KNOW! She made a fucking MySpace post about this!
(Jon): WHY? I thought she wouldn't tell anyone. Why did she betray me?
(Fred): Damn you're slow! You rejected the prettiest girl in the entire school! No one ever rejected her. You like to insult her. She needed to tell everyone the reason!
(Jon): I DON'T KNOW! She could've told everyone that I was in a couple or I don't know not that I was a faget!
(Fred): I told you she was cruel! But man, since when are you gay?
Man? Was he making fun of me?
(Jon): since always I guess
(Fred): I mean... what was the turning point?
He knows it just like me. He just wants me to say it.
(Jon): when we were in the lockers...
AM I CONFESSING MY FEELINGS? Do I feel something for Fred? Come on Jon be cool...
I press on send. My life was already a nightmare it couldn't be worse!
(Fred): when... I said I like you.
(Jon): I know you didn't mean that way. You hate me. But it made me realize that I prefer a boy like me than a girl... that I didn't give a fuck if Amy or any other girls loved me because they are not... boys
(Fred): Oh ok! I was scared I thought you liked me lol
This sentence was like being stabbed in the chest. It hurts. Why the hell did I do to deserve all of this?
I don't have time to respond because I hear Chino's car in the driveway. I didn't even have breakfast why is he so early!
I grab my bag, put on some pants and a jacket and go out.
"Since when do you arrive so early?" I asked him
"Since we need to avoid Mike and Daniel. If they see you they're gonna beat your ass up"
He must see my confused face because he adds
"They saw the MySpace post! Everyone saw it! These homophobic bullies want to make you bleed now!"
"Oh... so you saw it too?"
"EVERYONE saw it. I must say I ain't really surprised. I see how you look at Fred sometimes. You always say that you hate him but nobody looks at someone they hate like that! So much love in those eyes... but hey congrats on your coming out!"
I smiled. I never thought the guy who made so many gay jokes could be that comprehensive.
"Thanks Chino"
"Are you gonna tell Fred that you like him one day? Or am I supposed to do it for you?"
"What? Nooooo I don't like Fred!" I say, laughing nervously.
Chino looks at me. He sighs.
"Ok ok well maybe I like him a little bit."
He looks at me again. He won't give up. I sighs
"I really don't know how I fell in love with this motherfucker" I said with my head in my hands. "He hates me and I'm supposed to hate him and all the school knows that we hate each other but I like him and... and..."
"Ok calm down JD! " he says laughing. "Why are you so nervous? It's ok to confess our feelings and your reputation is already gone so you've got nothing to lose!"
"I guess you're right... I never knew a bad reputation would help me someday..."
"You need to go talk to him! After all, what is the worst that could happen?"
"Nothing I guess..."
"Then do it!"
"I'll do it I promise"
I get out of the car and go to my lockers. Everyone and I say EVERYONE is looking at me, whispering.
I hate Amy so much.
I look down and walk but two pairs of foot are in front of me. I don't even need to look up that I now it's fucking Shinoda with his friend Daniel
"Hello fag. Seems like there is a sinner wandering around school..."
They grab me by the collar (in one months I never been grab by the collar that much) and punch me right on my nose. I fall immediately.
Daniel starts talking.
"Don't go too rough in him or he might like it!"
"You're right Dan! Let's be gentle with this fool"
"Go... fuck yourself..." I say with blood on my mouth.
"What did you said jerk?" They take me by the collar again, ready for a round two when something happens
"Hey you! Leave him the fuck alone"
I look up and see Fred. I think I'll pass out. Why is he here?
"What did you said asshole?" say Daniel. "I thought you hated that dickhead?"
"And I thought you two stopped bullying random dudes. Seems like everyone is changing"
This sentence was worst than the knuckle Mike gave to me. Was I just a... random dude for Fred?
"You got nothing to do in this fight. Go away before you receive the same punishment than him. Don't you want to be bullied again?"
What? Fred was bullied? He might not be the stereotypical popular dude that I thought.
Fred dosen't go away. Instead, he punch Mike twice as hard as what he did to me. Mike falls, obviously.
Then, Fred turns to Daniel.
"You want the same, son of a bitch?"
Daniel dosen't respond. He just grabs Mike by the arm and run away. Fred comes up to me.
"Are you okay?" He looks at my nose. "Did they broke your nose?"
"I'm gonna survive..."
"I promise you that I hate Amy as much as you right now"
I smile. He's so cute.
"Uh...thanks for saving me from Mike and Daniel and uhhh yeah thats it"
I really lose my words around him. God damn...
The bell ring and Fred helps me get up.
"See you in class!" He says.
I hated the fact that I loved him.
[FRED'S POV]
Before going to my math class, I see Amy hanging around my locker"
"I searched you!" She's says all happy. "Did you saw my post? Aren't you happy?"
"Go fuck yourself Amy"
"What? But what did I do? I thought you hated him!"
"WELL MAYBE NOT. Maybe I like him. And maybe just maybe we didn't hate each others"
"Stop the drama... it's not my fault if he's a sinner"
"ME? STOPPING THE DRAMA? Your homophobic ass can't understand the fact that you're a bad person?"
"You ain't better than me!"
"No and I totally assume it but maybe this guy helped me be a better person! Maybe since I know him I start to enjoy my mom's pancakes!"
"Pancakes?" She looked confuse
"You won't understand.. what I'm trying to say is that you ruin someone that didn't deserve it."
"That not a big deal. It's not like there will be any consequences"
"UH YEAH! YOU WANT ONE MAYBE?"
"Well why not"
"You're single."
"WHAT? Just because I exposed someone you break up with me? Don't tell me you're in love with him."
"Well maybe I am. Maybe I'm fucking gay too but I can promise you that if you expose this fact, you'll regret it"
"You are not scaring me Fred. And don't tell me that after all those months we've been together, you like boys"
"First of all yeah you should be scared because I promise you that if you tell the whole school that I'm gay I will not be afraid to beat your ass up even if you're a girl because making fun of someone because of who they love is cruel just like you. Second of all, maybe I feel better with him even when we fought than with you when we kissed."
I go away without even waiting for her answer. I don't care about her anymore.
The corridor is empty. Everyone is in class. I'm walking to my math class when something caught my attention.
Chino, the new kid, Jon's friend, with a girl...
Well not really a girl...
More like a woman.
Our history teacher, Miss Patricia.
[JON'S POV]
At lunch, Fred was literally running towards me.
"I need to talk to you NOW."
I follow him to the lockers, the only place when no one can see us.
"What? What is happening?"
"I broke up with Amy."
"WHAT? Why?"
I feel cruel to be happy
"Because I think I'm gay too. Anyway thats not the subject I saw something that YOU NEED to know."
Too much information for my poor brain.
"Wait what? You're gay? Like really gay like 'I love men' type of gay?"
"Yeah. I think I knew it for a while. I was just in denial. Even the principal, Mr. Bennington guessed it."
So thats what the principal told Fred... Everything make sense now.
"But thats really not the subject!" He continues, giggling
"So what's the subject?"
"I saw your friend kiss a girl"
"Who? Chino? No way! Who?"
"Miss. Patricia! Our fucking history teacher! I saw them in her office. Damn if the principal knew..."
"Please don't tell him! He will probably kicks Chino out of the school and I really don't want that, but NO WAY! Chino with Miss. Patricia? So that was her, his history crush..."
"I guess so..."
I look at him, dead in the eyes.
"I can't believe you're gay."
"Well believe it because it's true"
"What was the turning point?" I say, smiling.
"You" he responded.
If someone told me a month ago that I would fell in love with my worst enemy I would laugh at their face. But now? It feels so right.
We look at each other when we hear a weird nose.
"Am I dreaming or are we not alone?" I say, whispering.
"Feels like a couple is kissing. I can hear them. They are just two rows of lockers away"
"Wanna see who they are?" I suggest, smiling and giggling
"Of fucking course!"
We slowly walk in the direction of the noise. It was obvious that it was two people kissing. But who were they? That was the question.
One row of lockers left. We make sure to not make any noise.
And then... here they were. The little couple kissing. They were too too far away for me to see so I step a little close.
These silhouette... they really remind me of someone.
And then I saw them.
The two most homophobic boys kissing.
Mike and Daniel.

Chapter Text

[JON'S POV]
I couldn't believe what I just saw. Mike and Daniel...kissing? That dosent make any fucking sense. Me and Fred were shocked. When we sat for lunch (we eat together I know! I'm so happy I just look like a kid in a candy shop no joke) we couldn't talk to something else but this.
"Did you saw what I just saw or am I fucking blind?" I asked.
"I saw it too!" he said with big eyes "I can't believe it. It's like the shittiest couple ever!"
"I know right?"
We laughs. We smiled. Our good time is interrupt by Mr. Bennington who speaks on the intercom.
"ATTENTION STUDENTS! SOMEONE AND I WONT SAY WHO DECIDED TO DO A MYSPACE POST ABOUT ONE OF OUR STUDENT'S SEXUALITY. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. I SENT AN EAMIL TO EVERY PARENTS TO REMIND THEM THAR CYBER BULLYING IS A CRIME PUNISHED BY THE LAW"
"Dang..." say Fred "if someone didn't know, now it's certain that everyone is aware of this post"
"You lucky she didn't do one about you.."
"Well we broke up like 4 hours ago so I'm not sure she had time... and maybe just maybe I threatened her.."
"YOU DID WHAT?"
"I wanted to be sure she wouldn't do anything! I didn't have any others options"
I laughed nervously. What was I supposed to say? Plus, he was kinda right...
Chino comes close to us. I quickly grab him by the arm and make him sit with us.
"Yo dude stop that violence!" he says
"We need to talk NOW!" I say
"And I guess your boyfriend need to be there?" he responds while pointing at Fred. Luckily, I don't have time to correct him. The bell will rings in 4 minutes
"Your history crush... don't tell me it's Ms. Patricia!" I scream in my whisper.
"Uh no!" Chino say. But even if he lie pretty well, I never say him white like that. He is sweating like he ran ten kilometers.
"CHINO! You're lying! You're in couple with our fucking history teacher! I know she's only 22 but god damn!"
"But how do you know?"
"Fred saw you in her office"
"Oh..." he looks pale. I can feel that he is scare.
"Listen, we won't say anything because you're my friend and I don't want you to get kick out of school but you need to be more discreet with her!"
He sighs. He feel liberated I know it.
"Thanks dude." He pauses. "And so... did you told him that you like him more than a friend?" he finished while pointing to Fred. My face melted in front of him. Chino notices it because he add.
"Oh you didnt told him..."
"Yep. Thanks Chino!" I say full of irony.
"So you like me? More than a friend?" asks Fred
"Uh..."
"Well it's the moment for me to leave this table. Thanks Jon" Chino run away after this sentence
Fred continue to look at me. He is waiting for an answer.
Come on Jon. Be brave you can do it you can tell the truth.
"Chino is right. I like you more than a friend."
He smiles
"I like you more than a friend too, Jon"
I never felt so happy in my entire life
"You're... you're not kidding?"
"No I am not. I'm totally honest with you"
I smile
He smiles
The bell ring. Damn I hate this bell so much sometime. Fred grabs his stuff but before I stop him.
"So... are we...dating? I mean... do you want to be my boyfriend?"
He laughs.
"I thought you'll never ask. Of course I want!"
I smile, grab my stuff and run to class. This is the best day of my entire life.

[SOME HOURS LATER]
The bell. Finally. I sprint out of class, ready to jump in Chino's car to get home when someone stops me. Mike of course but for once, he dosen't afraid or scare me.
"So faget? You had a good day at school?
"What if you shut your fucking mouth Mike? I know you won't do anything to me."
"Oh yeah and why? You don't even know me"
"Well maybe I don't know everything about you but I know that we look more alike than what you think"
I wink.
"What do you mean?" he says, ready to punch me in my nose again. I hope he won't: it still hurt from this morning
I approach myself to his ear and whisper
"I mean that you're a fag too. You're just in denial. But I saw you. I know your secret and I'm sure you don't want me to tell the whole school"
His face turns white, then red. He steps back and walk away like never ever happened
I go away too. I can hear Chino honking from here.

[FRED'S POV]
My mom was crying when I got home. I didn't knew why until she showed me my cell phone.
Remember when the principal said that he would sent an email to every parents? Well he did. And my mom decided to check my phone to be sure I wasn't that cyber bully the school was talking about.
Fortunately, I'm not Amy.
Unfortunately, Amy texted me. Just one message but my mom saw it. She read it and now she is crying.
I read the message for the fourth time. I can't believe my eyes
(Amy): You're the worst person I ever met Fred. You fucking broke up with me because you're gay! I'm gonna make sure you'll regret this. I don't care that you threatened me: I'm not afraid of you.
My mom cries harder after each minute.
"You are gay?!? Fred please tell me it's a joke!"
"Mom... I... can explain myself!"
"So you're not gay!?!"
"No... I am gay but I was going to tell you. And for Amy I..."
I don't even have time to finish because she is crying so hard that I can't heard myself
"I didnt raised any sinner! And please don't tell me thats this Jon I saw you texted recently is your boyfriend! I read he's gay too. He is probably a bad influence for you."
"Mom...he is not a bad influence!"
"So he is your boyfriend?"
"Yes he is... since like an hour and half..."
She cries harder. At this point, I didn't even knew it was possible.
"I called your dad. He will be here in a moment"
"YOU DID WHAT?"
"You heard what you heard."
"You know that dad is a bad person. You KNOW he mistreats me! You know he's gonna beat me up!"
"I don't care anymore Frederick! You're a bad person. You need to be CURE!"
"ITS NOT A FUCKING ILLNESS"
Then, I heard the door open. I was going to die. Without even noticing, I cried. I didn't looked a him or anything. I just stood in front of my mom and cried.
"WHERE IS THE MONSTER I HAVE FOR SON?" my dad yelled.
Oh god I hated my life.
My dad grabbed me by the arm and guided me to my bedroom.
This is the last thing I remember before passing out.

[JOM'S POV]
I was so happy when I came home I really thought that nothing could kill my mood. Dang I was so wrong.
My mom was already drunk when I arrive. She didn't hesitated a second to told me what happened.
"The principal sent an email. I checked your phone. You're gay."
I didn't even had time to react when she throws me an empty bottle of wine.
I didn't had enough reflex this time. I received a piece of glass I'm the eye
"Ouch!"
"Don't complain! YOU'RE A SINNER YOU DESERVE TO DIE!"
She trows others bottles. I cried. I begged her to stop. Nothing. She continued.
Then she grabbed a vodka bottle.
"I'm so happy this Wes sold all those bottle to me!" She said while throwing it.
Wait...
Wes?
Like the Wes?
Now I understand. I know where I saw him. The day when we moved here, I saw a teen selling bottles of vodka to my mom. She was banned from the big supermarket after she tried to steal a bottle. When I saw her buying that vodka, I didn't thought much of it. But now? She is beating me up with what HE sold to her!
I'm gonna beat this motherfucker up if my mom dosent kill me.
I receive the vodka on my face. The shock is so brutal that I pass out immediately.

[FRED'S POV]
I wake up in front of my house. I know I just can't enter in it anymore. It's approximately midnight. I can barely walk. I feel like two or three of my ribs are broken just like my arm. My nose is bleeding, I got a black eye and a teeth missing.
I was never hurt that much.
I walk to the nearest supermarket and see the cashier. He almost gasps when he sees me. Guess that I must look terrible.
"Can I use the telephone please?"
He give me the phone without even talking. His mouth is still open.
I tap the only number I remember
Dringgggggggg...
Please respond, please respond, please respond...
"H-Hello?"
His voice is broken. He musts be in the same situation as me.
"Are you okay Jon?"
"To be honest... no. My mom luckily didn't kill me but near."
"Same for me but for my dad... anyway can we meet in the school playground? I just... can't stay here anymore."
"Yeah of course. I'll be there in two minutes."
I hang up and give the phone to the cashier. He finally talks
"Are you okay boy? What happened?"
"I'm gonna survive"
"What did you do to deserve that?"
"My coming out"
I laughs. It feels so ironic. A year ago, I thought I was the straightest boy on earth. Now? I'm sure I'm gay and in love with my worst enemy.
The cashier laughs too
"Don't worry kiddo. My sister did it two years ago. She survived."
I get out and walk in direction of the school

[JON'S POV]
I woke up in my room. I was bleeding from everywhere. My mom left my phone on my bed.
After I received Fred's call, I woke up and tried to walk. It hurts so much. I saw my mom asleep on the couch. I decided to sneak out.
When I arrive to school, Fred was already there. God damn! He looked like a truck ran on him
"Gosh, Fred, are you okay?"
"Yeah yeah don't worry and you? You look bad as hell!"
"I mean I must look better than you."
"Sooo... Your mom found out?"
"Yep. And I guess your dad found out."
"Of course. And all this because of Amy..."
"If I only I knew I would've never talk to her that day"
"And I would've never dated her"
We talked and laughed for the rest of the night.
We enjoyed the night like it was our last one
Because we knew that tomorrow in school, the rumor will spread. And we will need to face others problems.
Like Wes.

Chapter Text

[JON'S POV]

It's been already a week since the bloody night like I call it. My "mom" kicked my out of the house so now I live at Chino's place. His parents dosen't mind at all. They even know that I'm gay and it dosen't bother them. I remember how shocked I was when they told me. We were eating dinner all together for the first time when his mom started asking me questions.
"So, Jon, do you got any news about your mom? Do you even know where she lives now?"
"Uh no... she didn't have enough money to change the locks so she just took her stuff and drove. Probably to Iowa... I don't really know..."
"I really wonder how a mom can to this just because her son is gay!"
When I heard this world, I quickly get up told up to clean my plate.
"Wait Jon! What are you doing?"
"Well... I'm getting out of the house obviously. Thanks for letting me for the night."
"But... why?"
"Because you know I'm gay. You probably want me to go away or to not approach your son because I might be a bad influence or I don't know"
"No! Of course no! You can still eat and live here! You are Chino's only friend! You deserve to be well treated"
I sat down, surprised. Even my "mom" never loved me like that. I looked at Chino's dad. He nodded.
"My wife is right. Nobody deserve what happened to you"
I smiled.
Now here I am, in Chino's room, on the extra bed next to him, texting Fred. Everything between us is going pretty well. The rumors didnt event spread at school: nobody know we are together. Amy decided to shut her mouth for a reason I don't know. Hey I'm not gonna complain. Me and Fred wanted to keep all of this private knowing that our parents don't approve that, that we are still the worst enemies for our entire school and that Fred want to tell Wes before.
Talking about Wes...
I didn't do anything to him... for the moment. I didn't forgot what he did. Selling vodka to a woman in her 40s for probably double the price is cruel because what if he knew that she was going to beat her kid with it and that he just didn't know it was me, her kid? What if he left a woman abuses her child?
Fred's message wake me up. Dang, I was in my thoughts again.
(Fred): You're online Jon?
(Jon): yeah yeah sorry... so what did you said?
(Fred): I said that I was going to tell Wes about us today at lunch and I wanted you to be there.
(Jon): oh ok no problem Fred!
I smile. I always smile when I text him.
Fred had the chance to not be kicked out of his house. However, his mom is in denial I think. She didn't talk to him once since the day his dad beat him up. She completely ignored him. Fed even told me that he heard her said on the phone that she had no children. She completely erased him of her life. And because she ignores him, she dosen't care that he hangs around. Fred is really mad about this and tries everything to make her react. He also can't stop telling me about random pancakes that she made that he used to love, I hope he is okay with this situation.

[multiple hours later at lunch...]
"Are you ready?" asks Fred.
"Well I guess. It can't be worst than our parents right?"
He laughs. Gosh I love his laugh so much...
We come to the table Fred eat. Wes is there with his lunch. I wanna lunch him so hard knowing that I wouldn't had to go to the hospital for a broken rib if he didn't exists. That my mom would've maybe be sober if he didn't exist.
"Uh... Wes? Can we talks to you?" says Fred
"Yeah for sure" he looks at me. "With... with him too?"
"Un yeah" says Fred
"Well tell me"
"So you know that u broke up with Amy and that a little rumor spread that I was in couple with another girl right?"
"Uh yeah"
Oh yeah I forgot about this rumors. Because Amy and Fred broke up for no real reason, (according to others because they don't know the real reason) a rumor spread that Fred was in couple with another cheerleader.
"Well..." continues Fred "the other girl... it's Jon"
"Wait, what?" laughs Wes.
"You heard me. I broke up with Amy because I realized I was gay. And in love with my worst enemy, Jon"
He shows Wes our holding hands like it was a proof.
"Is... is it a joke?" laughs Wes again.
"Nope. You got in front of you gay couple"
"Does... does it has a link with all those bruises you and Jon got last week? You said you guys fought but if you were in couple... how is it possible?"
"We did our coming out that day. Neither of our parents took it well."
"Oh shit Fred."
We all look at each other for a short moment.
"So it's true?" continues Wes. “You guys are really in couple? Like in love? Damn if I needed to bet on one person in this school to be gay, I think I'll bet on Mike or Daniel before you., Fred"
I look at Fred.
He looks at me.
Wes saw us and quickly understand.
"Wait... WAIT THEY'RE GAY TOO?"
"And in couple too!" I add.
Wes is still shock.
"So... uh Wes? We're still best friend? Even if I like boys?"
"Of course Fred! The fuck you think I would say? No fag try to find a new friend? You'll forever be my friend Fred!" he looks at me. "And you are my friend too now Jon!"
If only he knew I was going to beat him up...
We ate lunch all together, trying to ignore all the strange looks other students gave us. I understand them: seeing two worst enemies eating together at the same table is strange as fuck.
Then, Chino runs towards me.
"Jon! I need to talk to you now!" he says while grabbing my t-shirt (cause yeah bad news: my "mom" burnt all my stuff. She even burnt my adidas tracksuit! The only thing that matters to me in the entire! house!)
I could feel the bad news!
But I didn't know it was going to be that bad...

Chapter Text

[JON'S POV]

I follow Chino in the lockers. He sweats so much. That dosen't look good.
"Patricia... she... she"
"She what Chino?"
Chino takes a deep breath before continuing. Tears are forming in his eyes. I really don't know what happens but that must affect him a lot.
"She's in couple! For a year now!"
"What??? You are the other man? She cheated on her boyfriend with you? Ouch"
"That not all..."
Of course that wasn't all. I know Chino: he wouldn't do a big scene "just" for that. There must be something else, bigger.
"Her boyfriend... It's Mr. Bennington!"
"WHAT?"
I almost scream. My friend decided to date his teacher without knowing that she dated her own boss.
"Isn't he a but too old for her?"
"He is 29. And if you play this card, remind yourself that she is a but too old for me too"
"You got a point"
Then I think, there is only one possibility of how Chino find out about this.
"So he knows about you and her? I told you this relation was a bad idea"
"Yeah he knows! He took her phone to see the time and I just texted her at that moment. Bad timing I know..."
"Did you broke up with her?"
"Of course! But now, I am afraid he might contact the police. After all he could. I'm still a minor."
"That's your fault Chino..."
"Man I promise you... I just want a Fred to my Jon..."
I smile. It's funny to know that me and Fred are now a model couple even if we're together for only a week. The bell rings. Of course. Always at the worst moment. I look at Chino. He is literally trembling. Poor him. Why did he do that? I told him to not date his teacher. At least I think I told him.
"Damn I need to go" I say. "See you later Chino"
I only made a step in the corridor when someone else grab my arm. It's Fred this time.

[FRED'S POV]
The moment when Jon went away with Chino, Amy approached me with this smile thats know a little but too well. She was ready to do something wrong. I knew it.
She shows me her phone in front of all the cafeteria. It was a MySpace draft. She only needed to click one button for it to become a post.
"I'm gonna expose you. You broke up with me and stole the other guy that likes me"
"I didnt stole Jonathan! You lose him yourself by exposing him."
"I don't care! You're gonna regret this. Because I'M gonna make sure you'll regret this"
I wanted to say something but it was obviously too late. She pressed the button.
Unfortunately it wasn't all.
Amy get up on the cafeteria table that me and Wes shared.
"What are you doing Amy? Come back down now!" I said
"Yo! You're stepping on my lunch bitch!" Wes screamed.
But Amy didnt care. Un on that table she decided to shout
"Attention everyone" everyone looks at her, confuse, "I'm I'm thus table today just to say to you that my ex, Fred (she pointing at me) broke up with me because he is a faget and that he is in love with his worst enemy, Jon!"
Everyone laughs. Nobody trusted her.
A guy even said "thats fake."
But Amy didnt back down. She looked at me with a straight face and serious eyes and shout.
"If this is false, then Fred will get up to promise that all I said is false"
I didn't move. I wanted to disappear. She made my whole life a nightmare. I hate her so much. I began to blush so hard that all the people in the cafeteria shut up.
"See?" Amy continued. "If that wasn't true, he wouldn't have blush like that."
God... I hated her.
I grabbed my lunch and went away. I needed to find Jon. NOW.

[JON'S POV]
"So... all the school knows?"
"Yes"
"And she did a MySpace post about it?"
"Yes"
"And now everyone knows we are gay?"
"Yes"
"I hate this girl..."
"So do I! I never should have dated her. Worst mistakes of my life if you want my opinion."
That made me blush. He notice it.
"At least you are here..."
I blush even harder.
The bells rings for the second time. We are now officially late. Damn u hate this bell as much as I hate Amy I think.
After school I needed to find Wes. I needed to beat him up. Half of this is his fault. At least... in my opinion...

Chapter Text

[WES'S POV]
I never knew Jon had this drunk lady as his mother. When I sold her alcohol, I really didn't thought mulch of it. It vas just vodka that I sold for a dollar more than the initial price. I thought I was just making quick money.
One time, after I sold her 5 bottles, she just looks at them and thought out loud
"Damn... it will hurt him so bad!"
"What?" It was like one of the first time she talked. I was surprised. I didn't knew much about this lady. I just saw her wandering the streets, trying to find some alcohol. I thought she didn't had a house at first.
"I said that it will hurt so bad if I threw those bottles in his face"
The vodka bottle was made of glass obviously. I couldn't even imagine how bad it could hurt.
But I didn't stop her. I never tried to search who she wanted to hurt with those. I just tried to forgot it.
And now that Jon is explaining that he was the guy she was talking about while grabbing my collar, I feel so stupid. I sold a weapon that was used to beat someone up knowing that it would be use to beat someone up. My first reflex is to say the first thing that pops in my mind
"Please don't call the police"
He laughs like I just told him the most stupid thing on earth.
"Calling the police? No way! It's you who got more chance to call them after what I will do to you."
I close my eyes. I think that this knuckle on my face will hurt less if I don't see it coming.
I must've look terrified because he sighs and says
"Open your eyes dammit! I won't beat you up. I change my mind..."
"So... what will you do?"
"You're good with computers right."
"Well kinda."
"You're gonna do me a favor and delete a MySpace post."
"You want me to hack an account?"
"Yes"
"I... I can't do that!"
"It's this or my knuckles on your face. Do I need to remind you what I did to Fred last time?"
"No no... ok I'll do it. What the post?"
"It's the last post Amy published. I want it to be deleted"
"It will be done"
I feel good. No knuckles on my face... Nice....

[JON'S POV]
I really don't know why I changed my mind. I mean... it would've been easier to beat this motherfucker up if you want my opinion but something about me told me to not do that. I was beginning to beat more and more people up and I feel like I'm slowly transforming into a bully. I don't want that. In addition, erasing the MySpace post of the internet won't do much knowing that Amy made an announcement in front of all the cafeteria.
At least, now, Wes' case was closed. Just like Amy's
So now... what was left? They were no people to bully. Nothing to do. Nothing to admit.
Was all the drama over?
We were October 8. The school year was just started. But I also got that weird feeling that so many things happened. Like two years happened in a month and half.
What was the plan now? Just to be happy? I mean... there were nothing else to do.
Chino broke up. His romance is over.
Amy won't talk to us anymore. At least she is not a problem now.
Daniel and Mike stop bullied us, too afraid we might expose them.
Wes got his lesson. I hope he will never sell alcohol again.
Me and Fred are together.
Feels like I'm missing something,
Family.
Neither me and Fred got a sensation of family.
I turn to Fred. We were in history class so we are just next to each other.
"Fred?"
"What?"
"Do you have a... plan... to make your mom notice you again?"
"Actually, I was thinking about that. And I got a plan. Come with me after class we will go to my place."
I was literally giggling. I don't even know his plan but I got a feeling that it's a good plan.

[FRED'S POV]
I actually got a plan. It's just a shitty one.
When the bell rings, I take my stuff and get out of class to wait for Jon.
"Hey I was thinking of something..." I say "Now that the school knows, we can stop hide anymore"
He looks at me with a big smile on his face. That made me absolutely fall in love.
"That's true" he whispers.
Without hesitation, I take his hand and hold it. This gave me butterfly in my stomach,
We were walking down the street in direction of my home. I notice that everyone looks at us.
"Fred... why everyone looking at us?"
"They probably never saw a couple like...us"
"Probably..."
"That bother you?"
"No. They can go fuck themselves I don't care. I'm happy with you"
I smile. We arrive at my house. My mom was already there. That's what I wanted.
I enter in my house, still holding Jon's hand.
"Mommmm?" I screamed. No answer of course. I turn around and I finally see us in the kitchen, cleaning.
"Oh mom you're there!"
That was so weird to talk to someone that you know won't respond. She doesn't even look at me. She totally ignoring me but I don't care. I still talk. She will react know it.
"Mom can I present to you Jonathan? He is my friend"
No reaction. I wasn't finished.
"Well, he is not technically my friend."
Still no reaction. Thats ok. I know she was listening. She just wasn't reacting.
"He is my boyfriend"
She freeze for less than a second but I notice it. She also looks at Jon for an instant so short that if I blank, I could've missed it. But she looked at him. That's what matters.
"See mom? We're holding hands"
A little sighs. It was working. She was reacting a little more at each act.
But there was one last thing to do to make her react. And I know it would.
I put my hands on Jon's neck and kiss him.
"STOP NOW!" she said.
"Oh finally a reaction! You now admit that I fucking exist!"
Se didnt respond. She just comes close to me and slaps me in the face. I didn't react even if it hurts as fuck.
"You can't ignore me forever!"
"Yes I can! Cause you're a sinner. A bad person! A monster. Yes, you're a fucking monster"
"No! I'm just myself. Can't you just love your son for who he is?"
I started crying without even noticing.
I turn to Jon. He looks broken like the little tears on my face were a knife on his heart.
"Let's go away" he says
I follow him outside. I needed to breathe fresh air anyway.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah thanks"
I sighs. My cheek was burning from the slap she gave to me
"It... it was our first kiss"
Damn he's right. I didn't even realize that I kissed a boy.
"You like it?" I ask with a freaky look
"Yeah you?"
"Of course!"
Pause. We don't need to talk all time to understand each others…
"I'm tired Jon"
He nods, waiting for the rest of the sentence.
"Can I sleep on you shoulder? I can't go inside"
He smiles
"Of course"
We sit on the sidewalk and I put my head on his shoulder and I took a nap.
Everything will soon go better, I can feel it.
After all, it's less worse than last week, right?

Chapter Text

[JON'S POV]
It's early June... everything is going well. Nine months passed since Fred's mom talk to him again but strangely, I thought it was yesterday.
Nothing really interesting has happen in those nine months. At least, in my opinion. I'm sure that Fred thinks the opposite. For him, it was nine big months.
So here are all the updates on everything.
Me and Fred are still together, of course. Everything is going very well between us. I'm so happy when I'm with him and so sad without him.
Chino's parents officially adopted me even if I was 16 at the time. They didn't care. I call them "mom" and "dad" and they nearly cry every time I do it. It happened in November. The social services came around and told me that because I had no legal tutor now and that I was still a minor, they were going to put me in am orphanage. Then, Deborah, Chino's mom, told them that they will do anything in their power to make me stay there. And so they adopt me.
Amy found another boyfriend. Corey I think his name is. He is the captain of the football team and they claimed being the most popular couple of our high school. She clearly forget me and Fred.
Chino is still single, of course. He was lucky: Mr. Bennington didnt kick him out of school or call the police. However, he broke Chino's nose. When his parents asked what happened I just lied and said that he didn't see the post in the middle of the road. Mr. Bennington also fired Ms. Patricia.
Wes successfully deleted Amy's post even if it was useless because the rumor had spread in like two days. I forgive him for what he'd done. Honestly, I think I can understand his reaction.
I bought a new adidas tracksuit after my ex-mom burnt my old one.
I think that Mike and Daniel are still together too. I'm not sure because their relationship is still a secret even after all those months. However, some people have doubt about their friendship and I can feel that a little pourcentage of people think they are in couple. After all, this school year taught me that all secrets will become public at a certain moment.
My ex-mom (I like to call her like that) recontacted me in April to ask to meet. She told me that she was now sober and that she was really excited to meet my "girlfriend". I blocked her, of course.
Fred's mom is now talking to him like nothing ever happens. Like she didn't ask his dad to beat him up. When I come eat at their place, she gives me that hypocrite smile that says "I don't like you and I don't approve you and I will never do but I need to tolerate you if I want to keep a sort of relationship with my son". So yeah I don't really appreciate her and she clearly dosent but we tolerate each other. However, she still call me "Fred's friend" in front of guests. That change of Chino's parents who are proud to introduce me and Fred as"our son and his boyfriend". Every time they say that, I smile.
In two weeks, the school year will be over. I remember when the news of my relationship with Fred exploded, the day after his mom talks to him again. In less than twenty four hours, the whole school knew. Amy also told all her friend about us. I remember when I enter school the next morning. Everyone was looking at me. I thought it was because I forgot to put eyeliner but no.
Then, a guy I never knew stops in front of me. He was younger, probably like 14 and had big eyes. He looks at me straight in the yes and told me
"You're the guy who's dating the popular guy right?"
"Uh..."
I was surprised at first, I didn't realize that Amy successfully spread a rumor in such a short time.
Then the little kid just runaway without even waiting for the answer.
That was just so funny.
So yeah, here I am. Thats what happened in nine months. Really not a lot if you want my opinion.
"Jon? You're here?"
"Uh? You were talking to me?"
Fred looks at me, desperately. He is used by my bad hearing.
"I was asking you if you wanted some snacks. Or some cigarette. I got both."
"Then I'll take both!" I say before putting my right hand in a bag of chips and my left hand in Fred's pocket to take a cigarette. "Can you light it for me?"
Fred takes a lighter from his other pocket and lights the cigarette that is hanging in my mouth.
I take a smoke and then, put the chips in my mouth.
"Hmmmmm"
"I know they taste like shit right?"
I laugh.
"Yep. Worst chips ever. Where did you even get those?"
"At the little supermarket. Daron recommended them to me"
Daron is the cashier that helped Fred after his dad beat him up. They are friends now.
"Then, Daron got horrible tastes."
"I know. I need to teach him real food"
All this chips story nearly made me forgot what I wanted to ask Fred. He's been avoiding the subject for months now and I need to make it clear.
"What will we do after school?"
He turns to me, surprised. Even a little bit shock.
"I... I really don't know JD"
"You still want to go back to your hometown, don't you?
Please say no Fred. Please.
"I... I think so"
"So your plan is Jacksonville..."
"And you is Bakersfield..."
"What are we gonna do? We... we can't be in a long distance relationship for the rest of my life!"
"I know... I know..."
"But I really don't want to break up with you!"
"Neither do I"
"So... what are we gonna do?"
"I really don't know Jon... we can't promise the other one forever if we live across the country."
"I guess you're right... let's just enjoy the moments we got together"
"I mean... thats the only thing we got"
I look down. Fred does the same. We sat on this sidewalk looking down for like 20 minutes.
After that time, I decide to break the silence.
"In August, when you'll go to Jacksonville, we will broke up"
"WHAT? NO! WHY?"
"You can't wait for me forever Fred. I'll give your freedom back"
"Fuck my freedom! I don't give a shit about it. I just don't want to break up with you"
"It's the only way! The only option we got. You know it just like me. You're just in denial Fred."
"Still..."
I could see that he was sad. But what was the plan otherwise? Trying to stay together while thousands of kilometers and years will separate us from our next meeting?
I love Fred. I never want to leave him.
But life decided to not be on my side.

[FRED'S POV]
I know Jon is right and that I'm wrong. I hate being wrong.
I love Jon so much. He is the only one to understand me, to see me through my eyes. For him, I wasn't just a guy. For him, I matter. He made me laugh when no one did. He make me smile every time even when my dad broke my ribs.
I love him so fucking much. I hate the fact that it was him or Jacksonville.
"I won't go to Jacksonville"
"No. You will. I know how much you want. It's your city. You need to go"
"It won't be the same without you"
"I know. But it's your dream. You need to do it. For me."
"I'll do it" I whisper.
After all, did I have a choice? No. Life sucks sometimes.
"Wanna go home and study for our final history exam?" he asks. Since Ms. Patricia was fired, my history grades when down real bad. The new teacher is a bitch who dosent even like to teach. Fortunately, Jon is here to help me. He is smarter than me.
"Yeah of course!"
I get up, trow my cigarette and follow him inside.

[SOME HOURS LATER (because I will NOT write a study session lol)]
"I am so DONE with history," I say, dropping my pencil on the table. "It's been four hours. Can we do a break?"
"Of course! Come to my room"
We enter in Chino and Jon's room, holding hands and giggling when we see Chino on his bed.
"EW GUYS NOT IN FROMT IF ME" he screams with a disgusting look on his face. He like to act disturbed by our little love language.
"Oh..." say Jon. "I thought you were still outside, sorry"
"Don't tell me you wanted to do this on my bed?" he answers, even more disgusts. "Ew. Just ew."
"Shut up Chino!" I say
"Hey guys! You know what?" screams Chino, acting like he didn't heard me. "There is only two weeks of school left!"
"No shit Sherlock"
"After that, I'll move and create my own band" says Chino. "Isn't a good idea?"
"I guess..." say Jon but even if he was trying to act nonchalant, I could see a spark setting in his eyes. Like Chino gave him an idea.
"Yeah good idea" I respond while looking at Jon, trying it search and decode his thoughts and feeling. But I was looking at Jonathan Davis, and introvert kid who never show emotions to anyone else but me. Seeing through his skin and his head was an impossible mission.
I love his complexity. And I had to leave it.
The same night, at dinner with my mom, I decide to bring the subject of Jacksonville.
"Mom, do you thinks it's a good idea to go back to Jacksonville?"
"If it's what you want Fred..."
I know I shouldn't ask this question to my mom. She dosent like Jon at all. I never told him but she often laughs or insults him behind his back and I always take his side. I know she want me to go to Jacksonville because she knows that it means that I will break up with Jon and it's clearly what she wants. However, I really need an adult opinion on the subject so I guess I'll have to listen to her judgment.
"But what if I'm not happy there and that I did all that for like nothing?"
"Thats a risk you need to take"
"Sure..." I look down on my plate, messing with the potatoes I have left without really eating them. I wasn't hungry.
When I lay in my bed, I decide to check the flights for Florida. They were a low cost flight ticket for the first of July. It was the only one on my budget.
I take my phone.
(Fred): hey u r online?
(Jon): uh yeah why?
(Fred): you sure you don't want to go to Jacksonville with me? We could stay at my Uncle Chuck's house and work little job together.
(Jon): I can't. I got a family now. And I never felt so good than in this city. I need to stay. I'll do my life here.
(Fred): So I guess I'll go alone. And that we will broke up.
(Jon): yeah.... God damn I really don't want to if you know....
(Fred): me too, me too.
I close my phone and book the ticket.
It was the hardest decision of my life.

Chapter Text

[JON'S POV]
I drop the pencil, finally breathing. I fucking did it. All that shit was over. The last final exam was complete. This school year was officially over and it wasn't even the summer break because it was our last year! I feel release.
I give my test to the teacher and run out of class. Fred was already waiting for me. This little fucker finished his ten minutes ago.
"So how was it?" he asks
"Shit. Pure shit. But at least I will pass and it's over"
"True" he sighs."Wanna come to my place to help me pack my things?"
My throat twist while hearing those words. He was already going to Florida in a week. I didn't want. I want him to stay with me here. I really want it be selfish for once. But of course I can't. He really want to go back to his birthplace and I can't stop him
"Uh... Mom needs me to clean my room before. She asked me last week but I was too occupied with exams" I lie.
"Then I'll come help you and I'll do my suitcase late-"
"NO! No thats good. Do your suitcase now and I'll maybe come when I'll finish"
"Sure?"
"Sure" I felt bad. I just lied to him. But I couldn't just live like nothing is happening right now. He will leave. I need to start knowing how to live without him. More than nine fucking months together and I guess our love story ends like that.
This night, the school will give us our diploma. I'm excited but scree too. It will means that it's really the end.
I get out of school and go to the closest bar. I'm so depressed I need a drink. The doorman dosent card me. I always knew I looked older.
I enter. There are only a few people there. Some old alcoholics that do not want to go home to see their wives I guess.
After thirty minutes and two (or three?) drinks, I receive a text message
(Chino): where the fuck are you? Parents are scared, they wanted to call the police lol
(Jon): at the bar.
(Chunk): why?
(Jon): I donte know I gues I wantes to decompr38ss
(Chino): ARE YOU DRUNK? AT FUCKING 3P.M??
(Jon): nuh uh
(Chino): I'm coming, want me to call Fred?
(Jon): hess probbabli ine Floridaaaa...
(Chino): I'm on my way
"Barman! Another drink please!" I scream while almost falling from my chair.
"Sure boy?"
"Yes. Give me another"
He serves me a drink. Didnt know the glass could move like that. It's cool...
After finishing that glass, the door of the bar open. I see Wes and Chino but luckily no Fred.
"What the fuck are you doing Jon? The school is going to give you your diploma in like 4 hours! You can't be wasted at that moment!"
"I'm okay Chino!"
"Ok then how many fingers do I have?" he says while raising his hand.
"Uh...twelve?"
"He is completely drunk" whisper Wes.
"Yeah I know. I'll put him in my car. Could you help me?"
"Of course buddy"
Everything was moving around me. Feels like I can't feel my hands anymore. Didnt know chino was that tall. Or is it? Maybe I'm just short...
"JON GET UP WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON YOUR KNEES?"
"Yoooo calm down brother"
He continues to talk to Wes like I didn't exist.
"Yoooo guys there is a bathroom in the back if you wanna fuck" I says while laughing.
They look at each other with shame in their eyes, I may have drink a little bit too much but I know what it means.
"You guys fucked?"
"No!"
"NO! We... we... oh after all I can tell you! You won't even remember. We kissed. Once. Just to try." says Chino
"But whyyyyyyyy."
"You guys both did your coming out. We thought it could be contagious. Our best friends were both gay. Maybe we were too."
"And?" I say with big eyes. I was listening to the story with all my heart.
"Nothing. We are straight. I can confirm" answer Chino. Wes nod of approuvent.
"But... that means that you cheat on Ms. Patricia with... Wes?"
"IT WAS JUST A KISS!"
"STILL... did... did you put the tongue?"
"Ok we can't leave you with alcohol."
"You didnt answered Chino..."
"Ok ok YES. Happy? Now we're going out of this bar."
Wes hands the barman a 50 dollars bill and takes my arms while Chino takes my legs.
"Rhhhh..." sighs Wes. "You definitely need to go on a diet"
"Thanks loser"
Then I fall asleep

[...]
"JON WAKE THE FUCK UP BEFORE I CALL THE FUCKING POLICE!"
I open my eyes. I'm in my bed. I look at Chino. He is sweating real bad.
"Uh?"
"It's fucking 6 o'clock! We need to go to school or we will be late! You need to receive your diploma."
"Damn... I got one of this headache if you knew..."
"First time being drunk huh?" He smiles. "You're gonna survive... so you don't remember anything?"
"Nope."
He smiles even more. He feels... revealed?
"Ok now you need to get prepare. Fred will be here in like 2 minutes. He was scared as hell. He told me that you told him you needed to clean our room and thats why you didn't go pack his suitcase. Is it true?"
"Maybe..."
"Why did you lied?"
"I just... can't admit the fact that he is leaving. Seeing him packing his things will broke me I know it"
"Oh Jon... it's gonna be alright"
"Did you told him I was wasted?"
"Nah. I just say you didnt felt well. If you want to tell him, it's you choice."
"Thanks buddy"
Chino smells like beer. But he clearly didnt drank one (neither did I when I was drunk). Strange...
Someone is knocking at the door. I open. It's Fred of course.
"You okay?" He asks. "You look sick"
"Yeah I think I have a cold"
"In fucking June?"
I shrug my shoulders. I'm not a good liar.
The tree of us jump in Chino's car. I could feel like the night will be intense and...explosive...

Chapter Text

[FRED'S POV]
Something was off. Like really off. Jon is hiding something from me I know it. He smells terrible, didnt brush his hair and look like he forgot to sleep for the past month. Is it because I'm moving to Florida soon? Is he mad because of that? Dang, it was HIS idea to follow my dreams! He can't complain that I actually do it right? That would be so... mean. You can't blame someone because they did what you proposed them to do.
"You okay?" I whisper to him. I took him a second ti understand that I am talking to him. Is he high or what the fuck? He probably has something else than just blood in his blood because that shit isn't Jon.
"Yeah I'm alright just a little tired you know..."
No Jon I don't fucking know can't you just fucking explain to me?
"Yeah I know..." I responded. I know you can call me a loser but I can't just told him what I have on my heart. I hold his hand. It is cold like ice. I look at it, wondering if it's the last time Ill ever hold it.
And then it shock me.
I'm gonna leave the guy of my dreams just to move to Jacksonville. Just why? Why did I do this? I'm so fucking stupid. That was the worst decision of my life. I can't just leave him. I feel so good with him why do I need to go? Why did I do that? Why did I book this stupid ticket?
It's too late now Fred. Shut your brain.
We get out of the car. I look at Jon. He looks so... drunk? Is he wasted? No he would've told me. He told me everything.
"You look good in a suit" I said. After all, it's true. And I feel like he needs to hear some compliments.
"Thanks" he said, cold as ice. Why is he so dry? Dosent he wanna talk to me? Did I do something wrong? I'm overthinking again. I can't help myself it's just like that. I hate his silence.
We enter in school. Everyone is well dressed. Even Mike and Daniel did an effort and put some suits. It fits them well: they look like a cute little couple. It feels so evident to me I can't believe no one notice their relationship. Wes is in the corner of the big room reserves for us and wave at us. Chino quickly ran to him leaving me and Jon alone for a minute.
"Why are you so cold? Did I do something wrong?" I said. I couldn't keep all this in me more.
"No... nothing. It's just... not my day. I'm feeling pretty sick I told you."
"I know but still... looks like you're hiding something from me."
"I ain't. Now leave me the fuck alone you want?"
I couldn't believe it. Jonathan was actually mad at me for... no fucking reason I guess. I want to slap him so much right now.
After saying that, he walk faster in Wes and Chino's direction, leaving me alone.
I don't like how he acts. I really don't like it.
He makes me feel so pathetic. It's the last week we got together. Why does he need to fuck everything up?
I hate to say this, but at this exact moment, I love him a little less.
Maybe even more than just a little.
[JON'S POV]
I hate how I act. I know it's wrong but I can't react otherwise. I mean... Am I supposed to say the truth knowing that he would probably broke his heart? Like "oh hey Fred so actually I love you like wayyyyyyyyyy more than I thought and I really hate the idea of you moving away so can I be really selfish and ask you to stay here forever just for your high school sweetheart?"
No. I can't. So I just make him hate me because it will be easier for both of us if when he'll go, we aren't in love anymore.
Right?
No. Not right. I know it's a bad decision. I know it's not the good thing to do and I know I will totally regret this but hey I decided to do this so I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna make him hate me so he can turn the page and find a man better than me in Jacksonville. Cause thats what he deserves. A good guy. Not a fucked up introvert ass filed with trauma. Not me.
I look at Chino and Wes.
"I'm a bad person to treat him like that right?"
They look down. I got my answer.
"No you aren't. You're just sad because your love is moving away. But he dosent deserve the hate you give him. Just ne a little more kind" Chino said.
I sigh. I hate myself.
"Students please sit down! It's the moment y'all waiting for: your diploma. Tonight, all of you are gonna receive your diploma. Everyone with no exception, deserves it. I hope you will all have a good last time at this school"
I sit down. My head hurts. Fred walks towards us and sit down too but not next to me. Of course: he hates me.
I look at Chino and Wes. I don't remember anything about earlier but something happened between them. They told me something important.... about them... Come on Jon, you can remember. The more I think the more I suffer from my headache. Urgh...
The principal is calling the name in alphabetical order. Chino is the first of our gang, of course. And Wes will be the last.
"CHINO MORENO!"
Chino walks on stage and takes his diploma. The principal didn't even looked at him. I can tell it has something to do with Ms. Patricia. Chino really took a bad decision about this girl.
Dang, I could fall asleep right now. I'm so tired. Come on Jonathan! You need to stay awake. You can't just miss your diploma because you were drunk and in a hangover at the same time.
"FREDERICK DURST!"
Fred stand up and walk to the stage without even looking at me. Oh gosh, my head hurt so bad. Everything is moving...
I see dark spots. I don't think it's normal . Come on JD you can do it....
"JONATHAN DAVIS!"
I stood up. I suddenly got a revelation. Before going on the stage, I whisper something to Chino.
"I remember what you told me. I know you and Wes kissed twice. You told me about one kiss and I guess the other one with the smell of beer you got: the same he has. You kissed him when I was asleep don't you?"
Chino turns white. I knew it. I don't even wait for his answer that I walk to the stage. I feel so dizzy. I take my diploma and shake Mr. Bennington hand. Oh damn I feel so sick.
No Jonathan. Not now. At any other moment but not NOW.
But my brain dosen't listen. All the alcohol I got in my body begin to climb to my throat. Before I can stop myself, it's too late. I close my eyes.
All the students begin to be silent. I open my eyes, already knowing what I just did.
I just fucking threw up on my director. He looks at me, confuses and cover in my vomit.
"I'm so sorry" I whisper before running out of stage to immediately go to the bathroom.

[FRED'S POV]
I never laugh so hard in my entire life.
Like really. I was mad at Jon but now I'm just really laughing. He really threw up on our principal. How funny is that!
I also never run so fast in my entire life, ready to go help Jon is the bathroom.
"Jon, damn, are you okay?" I scream in the restroom.
"Uh... no"
"Open the cabin fucker"
He opens it. A spot of vomit is still on his lips. I can't help myself but laugh.
"Stop laughing! It's not funny! I humiliated myself so much..."
"Oh come on, who cares? We will never step into this school ever again after this night."
"I know but still..."
I look around and I suddenly realize that we are in the same cabin that Jon was the first day of school at lunch. The cabin I nearly broke the door to beat him up because I hated him so much.
"Look, it's the same cabin"
"I know"
Come on Fred. Ask him the question..
"What is happening to you? You're so cold... don't tell me that it's because you sick because I will not believe you. Tell me the truth JD."
He sighs.
"I'm in a hangover. And I'm still a little bit drunk. I went to the bar earlier."
"You went to a bar? But why?"
"Because I was depressed. I still am. You will move to Florida. You will forget me and I can't stand the idea of living without you."
"But you proposed to me to follow my dreams! It was your idea!"
"I know, I know and I really regret it. It was clearly the worst decision of my life."
"And now it's too late..."
"Unfortunately..."
I can't just tell him that I regret too because i don't want him to feel bad I'll keep my thoughts to myself for once.
"Wanna know something funny?" He asks with a smile in the corner of his face
"Always"
"I think something is happening between Chino and Wes. They kissed... twice!"
"No fucking way. You're kidding right?"
"Nope."
"Damn... so they are gay too? Never saw a school with a bigger pourcentage of gay students"
"I think they are still in research of their identity."
"That still crazy"
We both smile. Oh I'm gonna miss him so much.
We only have a week left. Only a week... and I know deep down on me that it's gonna be the shortest week of my entire life.
"Come on... let's go party." I said.
Jon get up and flush the toilet. He washes his hands and his lips and follow my outside the restroom.
"I can't party if I'm already half drunk" he said
"Of course you can. We must cure evil with evil."
I wink, he laughs.
"I hate you" he says.
"I hate you too Jon. So much"
I hold his hand to go to the hall to join Wes and Chino. Hope we won't interrupt them during a third kiss.
My goal is to get drunk like there is no tomorrow. I hope this dream will come true...

Chapter Text

[FRED'S POV]
I was slowly getting drunk. I love this feeling so much.
My head starts to feel heavy but not too much. After all, it was only the beginning of the night. Everyone was dancing and drinking without exceptions. Even JD despite the fact that he was already in hangover. He drank the beer I gave him in less than ten minutes. Everyone was partying with everyone except Amy and Corey. The new little couple stay in the corner for a reason I don't really know. I'm sure it got something to do with me. She is probably still mad after all those months and probably think that I'm gay just to annoy her like it was my principal occupation. I find it very sad that she is not enjoying her last night at school just because her ex is there. Even Mike and Daniel are dancing with some kids they bullied in the past and nobody seems to complain about that... so why is she standing in the corner with her cute little boyfriend? Urgh... after all I don't really care. She made my life a pure nightmare for months, running my name and reputation and making sure that everyone hates me for being myself. If one person should hate the other one, it's me not her. I heard that her parents didn't even punished her when they learned that it was her who started all those rumors on MySpace. She casually ruined Jon's life and her parents really did nothing. What a bad education if you want my opinion. I remember her parents. They were gentle, kind, supportive. Maybe a little too much. Like if she came back from school with a C, her parents would've congrats her for the effort she putted in her studies. Somehow, I'm quite happy that my mother isn't like this. However, my dad... it's something else. He is the total opposite of Amy's parents. Even when I was like five years old, he was punishing me for spending too much time on the school playground. For him, it was a total wage of time and I shouldn't have fun during my childhood because I needed to focus on study. The fun was after. I never heard again from him after my coming out. I really won't complain. I hate my dad way more than I hate Amy and gosh.... Everyone knows how much I hate Amy... My dad is the definition of pure evil. I have a lot of compassion for everyone who needs to support him on a daily bases. Like for real, I really have pity for them.
I come close to Amy. I wonder what she was thinking about. I wonder why she got all this rage against me.
"Why do you hate me?" I ask, positioning myself right in front of her. She looks at me, surprise. I can understand after all: it's the first time I ever talk to her I'm like nine months.
"What?"
"You heard me: why do you hate me?"
She looks around like she was trying to check if there was no one else so she can tell me the truth.
"I hate you because you don't look gay"
"What? What does that even mean?"
"Understand me... I always knew everything. I'm smart. Always having some straight A's. I'm a really observation person. I look at everyone, trying to search something that they trying to hide. I discover secrets. I know when someone lies. I really see everything."
"And..?"
"Well, when I met you, I looked at you multiple times. I was trying to search something that you were hiding. But nothing. I knew every single details about you. But that. I could've guessed your favorite color or your favorite food. I could've guessed what you were thinking about at a certain moment. But I didn't saw that. I could've never guessed that. So I'm mad."
I laughs. It didn't make any sense. "Wait so because you didn't guess that I was gay, you decided to hate me forever?"
"No. I decided to test you. And that's why I humiliated you. Because I thought you were lying. I knew everything about you that I thought you were faking that"
"Thats stupid"
"I know. But I did it anyway. And I learn that you didn't fake that"
"Of course I don't fucking fake that! Why would I fake that? I'm not a psycho!"
"Well maybe! In one day, everything I thought I knew about you, disappeared. In one day, you transformed to my boyfriend into a random stranger"
I understand. I switched in a day. Not because all that processus was fast but because she didn't know I didn't knew who I was before. She just saw my change. She wasn't in my head. I feel a little stupid now.
"I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"Because I broke up with you in like a minute without giving you clear explanation. I was an idiot. Forgive me"
"I forgive you. But I will never forget myself to not have seen that coming"
"Nobody could've to be honest."
She laughs. An awkward laugh. It was nice to talk to her like a friend and not like someone I was interested in. It feels... right.
I take the last sip of my beer. I need another one, now.
The night is just starting.

[JON'S POV]
I didn't knew it was even possible to drink that much in less than twenty-four hours. This sensation of half-drunk, half-hangover is the strangest I've ever feel. It was my fourth beer and I was starting to finally feel like normal. Fred was right: you need to cure the evil with the evil. It's like when you multiplicateur two negative numbers: it gives you a positive one.
After partying for like two hours, all of us four (Me, Fred, Wes and Chino) sit in the corner of the room with our beers.
"What if we play a game?" Chino asks.
"Not one of your stupid games..." Fred whispers.
"No. Like a well known game. Like truth or dare per exemple"
"That sounds fun" Wes replies.
Me and Fred nod as a reply.
"Ok I start!" scream Chino. He is giving me another headache..."Fred, truth or dare?"
"Dare of course!"
"Scream something stupid so all the students can hear"
Fred took a deep breathe before screaming like an idiot
"I FUCKING LOVE COOKIES"
The students all shut up and look at us. We laugh. Damn... my ears will not survive this night.
"Your turn" says Fred to Chino. "Truth or dare?"
"Hummmmm... because I feel like if I take dare, you will ask me something way worse than I asked you... I'll say truth"
"Since when are you in love with Wes?"
Silence. Awkward silence. I like that silence. I want to laugh so badly that it actually hurts.
Chino laughs awkwardly while looking around. He is sweating I can see it.
"That's not what you think... God damn Jon what did you told him!?!"
"Come on guys it's SO obvious. Like I know that you kissed twice. But like it's also obvious that you got feelings for each others! Now tell us all the truth!"
"Ok, ok" says Wes, sweating even more than Chino. "I'll tell you everything."
Me and Fred are waiting patiently for the answer.
"Yes we kissed like nine months ago and yes we kissed again like some hours ago but guys we aren't in love I promise. We just like testing some stuff"
"TESTING STUFF TWICE?!?" Fred shouts.
"Come on Chino, tell them we aren't in love"
Wes said that like it was fucking obvious but based on Chino's face I can confirm it isn't. My friend look so... lost. Like he wants to say what he is feeling but he knows he just can't.
"Chino? You alright man?" Wes says again.
"I need another beer" say Chino, white like a ghost. Poor him. I turn to Fred.
"You are the worst cupidon I've ever seen."
He laughs.
"I hope Chino dosent hate me"
"He surely does." I said. "You just exposed him"
"I didn't thought it would happened like that... anyway now it's too late. Let's check on him before I regret my decision" he says before getting up. I follow him, leaving Wes alone.

[CHINO'S POV]
I fucking hate myself. Not every time. Just like now, at this exact moment. I really hate myself.
I turn to Jon. He was sitting next to me. Just listening to whatever shit I wanted to say.
"Did you... did you ever think that it would've been easier if Fred was a girl?"
"Of course" he said "and that's normal. Like half of the problems I got this year would've never happens if Fred was a girl. It would have been so much easy to be... straight"
He look down. Jon really suffered this year. He dosent talk about it a lot but I know him. He always got his sad smile like he knows that what is happening to him is not normal but he's still accept it. I admire him for this.
"Did you ever got these thoughts about Wes?" He asks, staring at me like he wanted to see through my soul if I was okay.
"Well... maybe. I mean.... If he was a girl, I would've do everything in my power to date him. Cause he is everything I'm searching for. But he is a guy. And I'm not gay. At least I think"
"You can also be bi" he says.
Dang... I forgot about this. Yeah I could be bi but Wes would not like me more so it wouldn't change anything right?
"I don't know. And I don't really give a fuck right now. He probably hates me and I understand him"
Fred appears in the corner of the restroom. He has three beers in his hands.
"One beer for each of us. After all we deserve it"
I took one and look at it. Never thought I would cure my sadness in alcohol this year...
"I wonder how the school let us drink even though we are underage..." Jon said
"You know... Mr. Bennington can be very chill sometimes and maybe he dosent even know that those bottles have alcohol in it"
We laugh. A sad laugh.
Then, we heard someone else entering the restroom. We kept silence before noticing that it's Wes who was actually trying to find us.
"Oh..." he said while looking at me. "You're there... can I talk to you real quick?"
I nod. He looks at the perfect couple that was sitting down next to us.
"...In private?"
The two soulmates get up and get out. Wes closes the door after them. I got up too, waiting for an explanation.
"So... Chino... I ..."
"Listen" I cut him "I think I like you. Like very much. But I know you're straight and I know that you don't feel anything for me more than a deep friendship. And that's okay. I'm gonna survivre. I don't want to kill our friendship just for that. So yeah... I'm sorry that I like you"
He was standing there, a little bit shock of what I just said.
I was still hoping for the best. I was hoping that he would lean in and kiss me.
I hope so much right now. Come on Wes, make my dream come true. Just for once, make me have my own pretty love story,
Damn... just kiss me.
But of course we aren't in those stupid movies or in a romantic book.
"Ok well good thing that you're okay with the fact that I don't feel anything for you! Alright let's get out of here..."
I follow him outside
If only he knew...
If only he knew he just broke my heart for ever in just one sentence...
I hate being in a one way love...
A tear slowly went on my cheek but I erase it quickly. He couldn't see it. And deep down in me, I knew that I can't love him just as a friend... But I couldn't love him. I couldn't be stuck in a one way love forever. I won't let this love built up inside of me.