Chapter Text
Zuigetsu was far too aware of his position on this hunting trip, his true status that still lay obscured in more mystery than it maybe had any right. Perhaps his brother was right to set the time limit he had, to give him only five years to prove his theory that it was more than just illness at work killing his children, and escape the jade noose. Time that was running out. There was hardly half the year left and once the new year celebrations were through, whether or not either child consorts Gyokuyou or Lihua carried were princes or not, he would return.
The crown prince, the imperial brother, the Moon Prince, he would reveal himself a man of court rather than the sickly and withdrawn man with a scared visage known by rumour alone. Even if he did make some appearances as a prince, with his face obscured, not all that different from the mask he wore now.
Things would change drastically.
He needed to tell her. To be the ones who said the words, and as that deadline approached, he simply needed to take the opportunities he could.
He had been gifted something he had been once before, although thankfully for different reasons - well, rather the same reasons, but by different means. He found he preferred this method over drugging his food. Even if the implications were ones he was adverse to. He had been gifted sweets containing cacao by a man he had to at least be polite to and couldn’t outright deny, that it wasn’t done as a means to drug him meant it was easy enough, even if the reasoning left something to be desired.
‘So that even you might have fun with one of these lovely, or less than, ladies.’ His slimy speech and lascivious leering made Zuigetsu glad to be wearing a mask. It hid the disgust he knew his face would no doubt display.
He had no intention of partaking in aphrodisiacs, they were too often something others tried to use against him. He was not about to put himself, or really anyone, in that position. He didn’t understand why anyone would.
But as he walked back to his room, desperate to have half a chance to breathe through the heat he only made worse with the face covering, he couldn’t help but think of her. When he had asked her about making aphrodisiacs, she mentioned cacao was rather precious. She had used the excess to make a snack, one she had as little problem enjoying as any of the food he was sent on this trip. Perhaps she’d like these?
Would that be forward?
Gaoshun would surely have a fit, but maybe it could work to his advantage. Knowing her, the second he gave her the ox bezor he had finally gotten his hands on, she would be overcome and promptly ignore or maybe even forget anything he had told her. The chocolate was still a drug, and maybe a good chance to explain.
He told Basen he was going to have a word with her, and so he was entirely alone when he knocked on the door to the room she was staying in. She had been staying in there whenever she was not required.
“Do you have a moment?” He asked through the door.
“Master, Kousen,” she greeted with a pause, likely from the false name. She was never all that good with names after all.
“You should come inside,” she said, with a furrowed brow. She didn’t like him wearing a mask as much as he was in this heat.
“I only came to give you this,” he handed her the small pouch that contained the treat, “but if you still insist?” he let something honeyed slip into his voice without thinking, falling onto the crutch.
She opened it with a curious tilt of her head, “It smells like cacao,” she noted, stepping further back into the room, leaving the door open, her invitation standing.
“Yes, well, it seems for once I have been given an aphrodisiac not intended for myself,” he rolled his eyes as he took off his mask, “it was more a joke at my expense,” he explained.
“Well, I will gladly enjoy it, thank you,” she smiled ever so slightly, popping one into her mouth.
Only the apothecary would gladly eat an aphrodisiac gifted to her by a man, who happened to be alone with her in a private room so freely. He would have been worried if he had known her any worse.
“Did you enjoy it?” She asked, and he frowned. Does she really think he could enjoy being mocked? “Chocolate, I mean,” she clarified.
“No, I’ve never tried it,” he replied, somewhat confused.
“You stole from me only to throw the treat away?” She asked, aggrieved.
He laughed at the memory he had all but forgotten. He had wanted to see what such a thing tasted like. It was also a bit of fun while he was still attempting to seduce her in much the same way her would have any other girl. Stealing it from right out under her nose was a rather sly move he was still admittedly proud of.
“Gaoshun was the one who stopped me,” he explained. “I was rather intrigued to learn how it tasted,” he offered. It was the truth, still, she looked rather put out at the memory of her lost snack.
“Then try one,” she said, like it was obvious, and he balked.
Her trying one right away, well, that was something he could understand of the apothecary, but this… Then he remembered the previous night and sighed. She, despite being raised in a brothel, somehow didn’t know what exactly she was suggesting.
“Don’t say that,” he scolded, only growing irritated by her continuing to not understand the situation, or maybe that was unfair, to consider this a continuation of last night, “You can’t just offer a man alone with you, in your room, an aphrodisiac,” he hoped to make her see reason.
She shrugged and, in an all too monotone rebuked, “It’s not like your-“ she slapped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from continuing.
“It’s not like I’m what?” he asked her to continue, irritated and half sure of what she was going to say.
While she might be under a false impression, it didn’t wound his pride less just to know that she had every reason to think what she did. He had practically turned her from an apothecary to a spy, and she had somehow not even half a clue of this?
“Nothing.” She obfuscated, only further irritating him, and pushing him to just tell her.
Why did it feel so hard to confess such a thing? That’s a stupid thing to even think, he well knew why. It would change their relationship and not by any small amount, he was sure… still. She just had to provoke him, it seemed, as if it were instinctual even.
In her defence, it’s not as though he didn’t enjoy that more than he should.
Sooner or later, he was going to have to tell her. He knew something was being planned here and thought she could come in handy, sure, but he still brought her here to tell her the truth. So why did he hesitate to do just that? Especially when presented with a more than perfect opportunity and spurred on by her flippant words that cut to the core of his pride. Inside Zuigetsu, a war raged between his pride and confidence, against the shy insecurity he kept buried deep.
Now was not the time to change that. He was a prince, that was what he was about to confess, there was simply no point in cowardice. It was unbecoming.
“Do you want to know why I was gifted those, gifted something so expensive and seemingly above the station of the eunuch who manages the rear palace?” He asked, voice darker than that of the Jinshi she was so used to.
He was taking steps towards her as he spoke, backing her towards the drawers she wasn’t standing too far away from as it was.
“You already explained that you’re not here as master Jinshi,” she hesitated, eyes widening at seemingly his tone more than his actions “I imagine whoever you are here as is rather important, more so than yourself.” She explained her logic.
It was the court ladies' exam all over again. This incredibly quick and intelligent girl somehow not understanding this, maybe she did and just refused to admit it. She had equated him to a drug before, he didn’t mind her thinking of him like that again if it made her pay some amount of attention or intrigue to the words he spoke.
“And if I told you it was in fact Jinshi who was the falsehood,” He didn’t really ask the question, with an irritated look.
“I’m not sure I understand,” her voice shook, and she almost jumped in shock when her back met the drawers and she found herself somewhat trapped.
“Would that change your answer?” He clarified.
“Master Jinshi, what exactly are you saying? Actually, no, I think you should go, I don’t think I should be hearing this.” She rushed the words, frantic, trying to find a way out of the situation. She should have thought about that before pushing him to this point.
“Then you shouldn’t have invited me in,” He taunted with a sweet voice, if not the honeyed voice of Jinshi, and snatched her wrists as she tried to cover her ears.
“But fine, since you don’t want to hear what I have to say, despite it being the reason I brought you here, so I might find this chance to tell you.” He watched her relax and then tense again at the confession and information, as if to parse if she were about to learn information she didn’t want to know.
“If,” the words got caught in his throat, harder to say than he realised. “If I were to tell you I was in actuality nineteen, not twenty-four, that combined with being the highest ranking person here should perhaps explain.” He didn’t look away from her eyes, watching them widen with every word.
She knew exactly what he meant. Who he was, and what that implied about his fake eunuch persona.
“You’re…” She trailed off.
“So do you still think it’s a good idea for me to try one?” He almost taunted with a smile, far too happy to watch her fret. It was such a change from her regular cool disposition. She scrunched her eyes shut and shook her head no, but even with her hands now returned, she didn’t cover her ears.
“What, cat got your tongue?” He let a chuckle slip into his words as her scowl came back.
“No, I don’t think you should.” She ground out through gritted teeth.
“As you wish,” he turned and left, “enjoy the gift, both of them sorry it took a while to get what you were owed.” He added.
Before he had grabbed her arms, he had his hands on the drawers behind her and pulled a bit of an exchange. Leaving the ox bezor he had on him, and taking the single chocolate between his fingers. Once he was out of the room, he stayed just for a moment. Leaning more than he maybe should against the door.
He’d left his mask in her room… it was probably fine, his was right next to it after all, but still. Besides, he was more occupied thinking of the treat he had, well 'stolen' felt the wrong word. She had explained that if you have tolerance to stimulants or alcohol, it wouldn’t affect you that much, and while he was sure she could out drink him, he did enjoy his wine. He might avoid the food here, the best he could and for fair reason, but just this should be fine, right?
He was rather curious.
Just a slight taste.
He doubted anyone could or even would make one half as strong as those she had made once before.
He popped it in his mouth, distracted by the immediate taste by a squeal that bled through the walls. She had found the other gift, it would seem, and the sound made him smile. The chocolate melted on his tongue as he moved it about his mouth. He could see why she was a fan, it was bitter, but in a pleasant way. He wasn’t much a fan of things too sweet either, a gentle sweetness was one thing, like in fruits, but too much almost tainted the flavours of other things. It coated his mouth, melting and mixing into his saliva, and filled his senses with a rich, almost nutty flavour.
It made him think of her, not just because of the few times he had encountered the stuff she had been involved. It was a drug, and it revealed itself in layers as it slowly melted in his mouth.
It was something he wanted to taste…
“Thank you, master Jin-“ If her bright words didn’t shock him, the falling did.
She had thrown open the door he was resting against. He found himself stumbling back as a result, bumping into her as she stumbled much the same, standing right behind him. With quick reflexes, he spun around on his heel and caught her with an arm around her waist, managing to keep them both standing, if close and awkwardly holding onto the other. Mouth falling open just enough for what remained of the treat in his mouth to fall out and past them to the ground.
“You,” she started, but stopped when she noticed what had fallen, “is that?”
“Chocolate, yes,” he confirmed.
“I would think a prince above theft,” she just about joked, actually voicing who he was, what he was, but staying as casual with him as he had asked her too on this trip.
“Yes, well, I wanted to try it after all,” he explained, struggling to look away from her face, to take his eyes off hers, feeling his blood pulse through his body hard with his racing heart.
“What did you think?” She asked, her monotone voice coming back to her as the joy and shock both wore off.
“I rather enjoyed it.” He admitted, trying to ignore just how small she felt with his arm still wrapped behind her.
“Thank you, for the ox bezor,” She finished the sentence that had started this.
“I promised you, didn’t I?” He reminded her, feeling a bit uncomfortable at her thanks considering just how hurt she got earning it.
Neither of them made any indication to move as a silence with something else tense lay underneath. He didn’t let go of her, he didn’t want to. If anything, he wanted to pull her closer. What surprised him was that she didn’t make any attempts to push him away, or get out of his admittedly loose hold. Was it still some amount of shock, or did she want to be in his arms as much as he wanted her to be there?
“Did you really bring me here just to tell me that you’re…” She asked, not able to complete the question.
“I did,” he confirmed.
“Why?” She asked, face twisting in irritation, “Why would you do that? I am not the kind of person who needs to know this. I am just some servant girl. You shouldn’t have told me this.” She argued with something that made him think it came from the same worries that led her to care so much about the delineation she always made between speculation and fact.
All while her eyes searched his face for an answer to a different question, one she hadn’t asked. Was it the same question he wanted to ask her, was she searching for the same combination of permission and confirmation as he?
“You are as much just a serving girl as I am eunuch,” he reminded her, neither of them were the status they might parade. “I thought it important you know so that…” he hesitated, having her this close, having actually said the words, the next bit felt harder than when she didn’t know.
“So that what, master Jinshi,” she cringed after saying the name, “I don’t think I could truly see you in much a different light after all,” She asked his intent and offered the thought, almost an apology.
He found he didn’t much care. If anything, he was glad to hear it, to know that even knowing what he was, she thought much the same of him. Even if he were the crown prince.
“So that you might not think this a game or trick of the beautiful eunuch,” he explained, trying to keep his voice calm.
He leaned in towards her, closing the small distance between them with his lips. Soft and warm and chaste. He wanted to do more, much more. Thoughts of the extent to which he wanted her flooding him, ever more when the tip of his canine brushed her lip and a chill stole his breath and the sensation. He pulled back rather than pushing deeper, if only to save himself from acknowledging how close he came to biting down hard on her lip. To draw a pretty noise from her as he pried those soft lips open and tasted her completely.
“I’ll take my leave now.” He said softly, stepping away and letting his arm fall from her waist.
Neither had any clue how the other would have preferred that bite he held back. He would blame that brush of his tooth on the chocolate he shouldn’t have tried after all. She would blame her heart on the threat the secret he had shared lay on her life.