Chapter Text
Akarsha sucked some juice off her thumb. Noelle didn't understand why she wouldn't just leave the cover on, and Noelle told her as much, but Akarsha insisted that the popsicle "needed to breathe." Noelle kind of liked spectating the scene, if she was being honest. As the months passed, she’d mostly accepted that she had a thing for Akarsha. Not that she was going to do anything about it, other than a few more whisper-confessions here or there when she got particularly overwhelmed.
Noelle watched a drop glide down Akarsha's palm, down her forearm, and then down inside her eye-watering windbreaker. Akarsha sucked her palm clean, and was fine to let the rest of the juice marinate on her elbow, apparently. Akarsha crunched on the last chunk of her popsicle. The whole display was unhygienic enough to break Noelle out of her trance.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom to wash my hands," announced Noelle, even though nothing really got on her hands. She looked straight at Akarsha, waiting for her to get up.
"Have fun, Frenchman," said Akarsha, not looking up from the popsicle stick she was sucking the juice residue off of.
"Come with me," said Noelle. "Your popsicle dripped all over you."
"Don't worry, I licked myself clean." Akarsha smiled and blew a kiss. "I'll get you too, if you wanna save a trip."
"You're a cretin. Let's go," said Noelle, tugging one of the cleaner looking areas of Akarsha's sleeve. Her strange jokes had been getting more intense, but slowly enough that Noelle could properly ignore them.
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Akarsha's sleeves were getting wet. Sure, her windbreaker was water-resistant, but this was getting to be a bad habit. Her windbreaker was already dirty overall, but the cuffs were something else. Not to mention the cocktail she spilled inside. She should really just take the whole thing off, considering it was high 90's outside, but Noelle was aware of her insecurities around her appearance.
"Akarsha-" started Noelle.
"-Yes, Frenchie?" sang Akarsha.
Noelle chose to ignore the stupid petname. "Lift up your sleeves. Your cuffs are all wet.”
Predictably, Akarsha made no move to do so, and simply smiled and blew a raspberry instead.
"I watched a pint of juice drip into your jacket, you imbecile. Take it off, it's honestly a health hazard."
Akarsha purred. "Ooh, you were watching me-"
"-Akarsha, you still smell fruity."
"Wooah, look who finally developed a gaydar."
"Akarsha," grumbled Noelle, making a move to go do it herself. Akarsha must not have registered the movement, because she didn't retaliate until Noelle got a good grip on the right cuff. Noelle yanked it up, puffing some air out of her nose in satisfaction.
To both of their shock, Akarsha winced. She immediately turned away, but not before Noelle caught a glimpse of broken scabs. Broken scabs in relatively even-spaced lines. Injuries that seemed impossible to occur naturally. But just as quickly as she saw them, they were gone, covered up again, and Akarsha went back to pretending nothing had happened. If Noelle wasn't already attuned to Akarsha's personality, she might've actually considered the possibility that she didn't see what she just saw.
Scabs. Scars. Cutting. Noelle probed her mind for everything she knew about the topic. There wasn't much. Curse her idiotic repressed family. She knew cutting was more common with people with low self-esteem, who didn't know how to put their emotions into words.. Noelle guessed it made sense. If she knew there was someone in the group that was cutting, she would've assumed it was Akarsha. What was Noelle supposed to do? She was supposed to support her, be there for her, promise not to judge.. Wasn't she doing all of that already? What else was there to do? Was Noelle even capable of fixing this herself? Was it her place to call the authorities?
Shit. Noelle snapped her eyes back to Akarsha's, realizing that she had been staring a hole into Akarsha's forearms the entire time. Noelle struggled not to glance back at her arms. Noelle squeezed her arms. Don't look. Akarsha's face probably gave away more useful information, anyway.
Akarsha looked smaller than usual (her posture was typically terrible already.) She looked scared. Noelle was a bit surprised she hadn't run away already. Maybe she was finally learning to be open about her feelings? Noelle thought back to all those months ago, when she had heard Akarsha screaming her heart out into the void. Instead of talking to her friends. Maybe this terrible revelation was what would finally bring them closer together?
"Akarsha-" began Noelle.
Akarsha bolted out the door before Noelle could get anything else out. Noelle sighed. Apparently, that "emotional growth" Noelle saw was really just the state of being frozen in fear. Noelle frowned at the thought. She almost couldn't believe it. The tears that had been burning at the edges of her eyes dripped down.
Noelle evened her breathing as well as she could. She needed to calm down. Right now, she just needed to find Akarsha.