Chapter Text
Sonic had long since put behind his rivalry with Saitama once he fully realized it would be impossible to beat him. He still challenged him from time to time and often trained with the hero. Having an unbeatable opponent help motivate him to try harder, so Sonic wasn’t too upset with his decision to end the rivalry. The ninja sometimes even trained with Genos. His fights with the cyborg were at first out of pure aggression, but eventually they warmed up to each other to train without trying to kill each other. They were also pretty fun, especially the time when Genos and Saitama found out the ninja was strong enough to break one of the blonde’s arms by hand.
With the rivalry behind them, Sonic and Saitama developed something akin to friendship. Granted, Genos and Sonic still strongly disliked the other, but were kept in line by Saitama. That being said, Saitama was used to the ninja coming over, usually to challenge or ask to train or simply kill time there by taking advantage of his TV and books. One thing he wasn’t used to was Sonic coming over and asking for help.
Saitama was reading one of his books, Genos in the kitchen preparing lunch, when the ninja came in. He was beside the bald hero within seconds, grabbing and pulling on his shoulder to get his attention away from the book. At first he was ignored, Saitama brushing him off and simply saying he’d fight him later.
“I’m not here for that. I need your help,” Sonic said, finally getting the other’s attention with the last sentence.
“What with?” the hero asked, glancing at the ninja before turning back to his book.
“With this.” An envelope was dropped onto the page he was reading, effectively gaining his full attention. Setting down the book, Saitama picked up the envelope and pulled out the card inside. Reading it over, he realized it was a card announcing the upcoming marriage for a couple with the names Ichirou and Asami, both of which he didn’t recognized. He gave Sonic a confused and questioning look. “It’s an arranged marriage,” he briefly explained. “I need out of it.”
That was something the hero wasn’t expecting and his eyes widened just slightly. “Wait,” Saitama started slowly as he looked back to the card. “Your real name’s Ichirou?”
“Yes, but that’s not the point. I need out of this marriage,” Sonic repeated firmly.
“What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know. Anything. My brother isn’t helping me, so that leaves you.”
Saitama raised an eyebrow at the word ‘brother.’ He was learning a lot about the ninja within the matter of minutes and honestly it was sort of entertaining. He never gave thought to Sonic’s personal life before – never even considered his real name – but now he found himself a bit interested. Sonic himself was an interesting person, so the hero wondered if his brother was too and what his parents were like since they put him in an arranged marriage.
Speaking of which, he actually wanted to help – being put into an arranged marriage sounds terrible – but honestly had no idea how.
“I don’t know to help,” he said with a shrug, the ninja in turn groaning in frustration and burying his face in his hands. “Why are you even in an arranged marriage?”
“It’s a tradition in my village. Every eldest son is married to a girl their parents deem worthy,” Sonic answered, his words slightly muffled. Sighing, he ran his hands through his hair before resting his chin in one. “My parents have been trying to get me married for years now. If my mother had her way, then I should have gotten married seven years ago. Guess she finally found someone for me to marry.”
“What do you mean by worthy?” Saitama asked.
“Parents want someone who can take their son on in a fight, but that was thrown out the window for me. Still, they wanted someone strong. Other things they take into consideration are the girl’s looks, personality, and whether or not she’ll make a good wife and mother.”
“Huh. So you and the girls don’t really have a say?”
“Well, most of the girls want to marry a family’s eldest son. It’s considered a sort of honor. They get really disappointed when he’s already with someone else,” Sonic answered before quickly sitting up straight. “I think I know how you can help.”
“How?”
“Marry me.”
The room fell silent, as well as the kitchen, Genos having listened in on the conversation and stopped all food preparation at the ninja’s last words. The cyborg stood still, watching through the small window and waiting for the other hero’s reaction. Saitama was also completely still, his eyes wide as he stared at Sonic.
“What?” the bald hero finally exclaimed, his voice louder than he intended.
“Not seriously. I just need you to pretend that we are.”
“What about your actual marriage?”
“I’m only engaged. Once my parents think I’m married to someone else, they’ll call it off.”
“What about the tradition?”
“It’s fine. They’ll just marry off their second son. A lot of families arrange marriages for all their sons.”
Saitama blinked, lost for words and out of ideas to avoid this. The other seemed determined to go through with the plan. Well, he told himself he wanted to help and if this was the only way to get Sonic out of his arranged marriage, then he figured he might as well. “Fine,” he said with a sigh. “Okay, yeah. We’re married then.”
“Yes!” Sonic cheered, all too happy to have found a solution.
Genos was already voicing his complaints and concerns before getting cut off by the ninja, an argument quickly forming between the two of them. Saitama ignored them and went back to his book. He was vaguely aware of Sonic challenging the cyborg to a fight and managed to catch Sonic’s wrist with his free hand as the ninja made to throw a weapon.
“Not inside, babe,” he said, flustering the ninja and freezing the cyborg with his words. He still had his eyes on the book, but glanced up to see Sonic’s reaction. The ninja was staring at him, eyes wide and cheeks slightly flushed, either out of embarrassment or anger towards the blonde. Turning his attention back to the book, Saitama let the other pull his wrist back to himself.
Sonic mumbled something under his breath, the hero unable to make it out, but it sounded like something along the lines of, ‘Stupid baldy.’ He then took back the card and envelope and left the hero’s home without another word.