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Taehyung had four problems.
1. He had had Jeon Jungkook written on his wrist since his his 19th birthday, meaning that Jungkook was his soulmate.
2. It was August 31, meaning that Jungkook 19th was just an hour away.
3. Jungkook had no idea Taehyung's name was going to appear.
4. Jungkook was a homophobe.
These things had occupied his mind for weeks, and they really hadn't gotten any better the closer Jungkook's birthday came. He had been hiding the fact that they were soulmates for such a long time already, but now there was no way for him to keep it up - Not when Jungkook himself soon would have 'Kim Taehyung' tattooed on his twist.
Soon meaning 54 minutes, to be exact.
The younger had been talking about it all day, all week honestly - How he hoped it would be a pretty girl, how he hoped for it to be IU or Moonbyul or that girl or this girl - Taehyung had done his best to filter it out as the other members had given him apologetic looks. They all knew, he had told them months ago. Their manager knew too - The only one who didn't know, was Jeon Jungkook himself.
50 minutes left. Taehyung sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the sofa. He had slumped down in the living room as soon as he had came home, hours ago, and had yet to move. He had been thinking of what Jungkook's reaction possibly could be, imagining scenario after scenario. Would he be mad? Sad? Frustrated?
Would he hit him? Cry? Yell?
Would he accept it, or deny the truth behind it?
There really wasn't a way to tell. Jimin may have been delighted to see his name on Yoongi's wrist all those years ago, but that was a whole other thing. Jimin had known he was gay.
Jungkook apparently didn't. He always spoke of how he 'didn't understand it' and didn't 'see it as normal' whenever it was mentioned. Sure, it had gotten better, but he still looked away each time Yoongi and Jimin kissed each other. He had always seemed so sure of his sexuality, of liking girls, that this had a major chance of coming like a shock to him.
37 minutes left. Most of the boys were still up, on their rooms or in the kitchen. Jungkook had been pacing up and down the hall for almost half an hour, obviously excited and hopeful to see whoever his soulmate was.
Taehyung really didn't know what to do - And what would he say? 'Hey, I know it's a surprise, sorry for not telling?'
That wouldn't work. 'Yes, I'm your soulmate, wanna kiss?'
Absolutely not. 'I'm sorry.'
That was probably the thing he'd choose, if he had to say anything. He really didn't want it to be like this. Weren't your soulmate supposed to make you happy?
So far, it had only worried him.
30 minutes. Why the hell did Jungkook have to be so biased against gay people? Why did he have to be so straight, so homophobic?
Taehyung just hoped it wouldn't go out over the rest of them. Soulmates or not, Bangtan Sonyeondan had to keep being a group, keep singing, creating and performing. They had come so far these last three years, and Taehyung really wasn't ready to give it up.
He didn't think Jungkook would either - The boy was extremely passionate about singing and Bangtan. But you never knew.
24 minutes. And then there were the side effects Jungkook would begin to feel, those Taehyung had had since his birthday. Being marked with your soulmate's name wasn't everything - No, of course it'd have physical effects too.
Most common were rapid heartbeats, intense happiness, clouded thoughts, and occasional arousal.
Taehyung had gotten through it without any problems - It was always the worst the first few weeks - But he had been aware of the fact that he wasn't fully straight. Truth to be told, he had already had a crush on Jungkook before finding out he was his soulmate, so nothing much actually changed.
17 minutes. Taehyung had begun sweating, although he was only dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. He could hear Jungkook's excited voice coming from the kitchen, Hoseok and Seokjin humming to whatever he was saying.
Breathe in, breathe out. You can do this, Taehyung. You can do it.
Twelve minutes left. He could hear someone entering the living room, but he didn't open his eyes until the figure stopped right in front of him.
Namjoon.
"Are you alright, Tae?" His voice was silent, obviously so Jungkook wouldn't pick up on it. Not that he would anyhow - Namjoon could probably have yelled it without him giving it much thought, based on how happily and fast the boy was talking.
"Yeah, yeah. No worries."
Namjoon patted his shoulder, giving him a small smile.
"Let's just hope he takes it well - We're here for you, if not. I'm getting Jimin and Yoongi out of bed right now too, so we're all going to be here."
Taehyung did his best to crack a smile, but failed miserably.
"Thank you."
Namjoon walked off, patting his shoulder a last time. Taehyung checked the time again.
Seven minutes. In seven minutes, it would all change. Their relationship would never be the same, although he didn't know if it was for the better or worse.
Would Jungkook even want to see him? Would he talk to him?
Would he forgive him?
Four minutes left. Taehyung's heart was beating so fast, he thought he might pass out. Controlling his breathing proved to be much harder than you could have thought.
Come on, Taehyung. You can do it - Believe in yourself. Worse things have happened - Remember that time you peed your pants in front of the entire class? Worse things have happened.
Two minutes left. Taehyung couldn't do it - He couldn't handle it.
He had to get out.
He abruptly stood up, hurrying towards the front door. Slipping on his shoes and jacket as fast as he possibly could, he soon opened the door.
"Hey, Tae, where are you going?" Of course Jungkook had to notice - Of fucking course. All the boys were in the kitchen apart from him now, and naturally Jungkook would notice that his best friend was still missing.
He swallowed before turning around, facing Jungkook with downcast eyes. The boy was standing in the kitchen entrance, and Taehyung could see Seokjin's worried eyes watching him.
"I'm sorry, I need some fresh air. I'll be back soon - I hope you'll he happy."
He could glimpse Jungkook's grin before turning around, hurrying out of the door. The younger really had no idea of what was going to happen.
He checked his watch as he ran through the hall and down the stairs, the seconds ticking.
He was out on the street just as it hit 12 the church bells heard from a few blocks away. His back was against a telephone pole as he slumped down, falling into a sitting position on the ground.
Jungkook knew now. Taehyung's name must already be spelled out on his wrist by now, staring him into the face. He knew - He finally knew.
Things would never be the same.
Taehyung could feel tears threatening to spill, the lump in his throat aching to let out a sob, a cry. His thoughts raced, jumping from one thing to the other without pause.
Jungkook must hate him - Jungkook must be angry at him. There was no chance in hell he didn't, he wasn't. Taehyung had known for more than a year, but still never told him. He could have prepared him, he could have showed him. But he hadn't, he had always refused to say it and constantly kept his tattoo hidden.
But there was no need to hide now, was there?
The sob finally escaped his lips as he ripped the plaster off, the one he had put on daily for almost two years now.
He knew, he knew.
The tears streamed by now, and Taehyung stood up as he threw the plaster on the ground. He had to do something, his thoughts were eating him alive.
So he ran.
He ran as fast as he could, away from everything that was happening. He didn't allow himself to think, not at all - He put all his energy into his legs, ignoring the tears that kept falling.
He couldn't stop - He didn't want to stop - He didn't allow himself to stop. Lungs burning, legs aching, he ran. He ran away from all his problems as fast as he could.
The sun had begun to rise when he finally let himself rest, falling onto the ground outside their apartment complex.
If anyone would have seen him, they would probably have asked if he needed help - But there wasn't anyone there. It was too early for anyone to be out on the streets, his watch showing 4:04am.
It took him a few minutes until he sat up, breath slowly returning to normal. He was completely drenched in sweat, his eyes hurting after all the tears. His head felt like it was imploding.
It should be okay for him to go back in now, was it? The boys would have calmed Jungkook down and then went to bed. No one would notice how late he arrived or what state he was in. A quick shower, a few glasses of water, then straight to bed.
Bed - He shared room with Jungkook.
He'd have to sleep on the couch, then. No big deal - What else could he do, if the other didn't want him around?
His legs wobbled as he stumbled his way inside, taking the elevator up rather than the stairs. He had to use to be walls to support himself when he dragged himself to the door, slowly moving forward.
Taehyung was used to exercise. He was not used to sprinting at full speed for four hours without a break.
He fell when he finally managed to unlock the door, at least most of his body falling into the dark apartment. He barely had time to catch himself and managed to scrape up his hands and chin. It stung, but he barely gave it any notice - He had to move, keep moving. He was definitely unfit to shower, so it'd have to be a bath instead. He's probably fall asleep in it, but what did it matter?
He'd probably wake up before drowning.
Taehyung had just decided to attempt sitting up when he could hear someone coming towards him from the kitchen, light steps against the wooden floor. He didn't bother to look up and discover who it was - He's soon get to know exactly who it was that had the privilege to find him in this sorrowful state.
"Tae- Taehyung?"
That was why he hadn't really been prepared to hear Jungkook's voice breaking as he said his name, barely louder than a whisper.
He attempted to say something but only managed to croak out something incoherent - His lung at seemed to have completely given up on him now, desperate for some sort of fluid.
"Holy shit, are you- are you okay?" Jungkook came closer, and Taehyung heard rather than saw him crouch down by his head. Jungkook's hand found his shoulder, shaking him lightly.
"Fuck, Tae, please say something. What the fuck have you d-done, are you breathing?" The younger leaned down as Taehyung once again attempted to use his vocal cords, managing to get out something along the lines of 'water'.
Jungkook understood, quickly running off to then return with a water bottle within seconds.
The boy helped him sit up, lifting him up so that his back was against the wall, his head against his shoulder. The bottle was soon pressed against his lips, and Taehyung managed to lift his own hand to help. His fingers were over Jungkook's, but the boy didn't seem to notice, or simply didn't care as he kept them in the same position.
Taehyung had soon finished it, and Jungkook laid the bottle down on the floor as Taehyung's hand dropped down onto his knees. He could feel Jungkook looking at him, really feel his concerned eyes.
"Tae, what the fuck did you do?"
Taehyung forced himself to look up, viewing Jungkook's face - Meeting the large eyes.
"I ran."
"For- for four hours?"
"Dasi run, run, run~" Taehyung couldn't help himself, chuckling at the incredibly bad "joke".
"You're an idiot, you know that? A fucking idiot." Jungkook let out a breathless laugh. "But let's try to get you into the bathtub, alright? You really need it." He waved his hand in front of his nose, theatrically showing that Taehyung smelled like shit. He let himself grin, momentarily forgetting about everything that had happened that same night.
Jungkook half-dragged Taehyung to the main bathroom, and they managed to get him into the tub with their combined efforts. They didn't bother taking off more than his jacket before turning the tap on, Jungkook turning around to close and lock the bathroom door.
The water was already beginning to fill up the tub, and Taehyung sighed as the warm water began to soothe his aching muscles. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes before he turned his head towards Jungkook, letting them flutter open again. The younger was still watching him with worried, and he couldn't help but notice dilated, eyes.
"You look like shit, Tae."
"Thanks, Kookie. I kinda figured that much out already."
"Do you- do you have any idea of how worried I've been?" Taehyung's eyes widened, but Jungkook continued. "You ran off and I get back to the kitchen just in time to see - your fucking name, Tae. The boys - the boys say with me through the initial shock, but - but left me alone when I told them to. And I - I couldn't stop thinking about you, you know? The hours went by and I - I thought you weren't - weren't coming back-" Jungkook sobbed, and Taehyung's hand flew up to his shoulder.
"I'm - fuck, Jungkook, I'm so sorry. I should have told you, I just - I just didn't know how."
Jungkook shook his head, once again meeting Taehyung's eyes although the tears were pouring down his face.
"No, no - Don't be sorry. I - I understand why you - you didn't. I've been an asshole, haven't I?" Taehyung couldn't really do anything apart from nod. "I should be the one to say sorry - It must have been so hard on you."
Jungkook took his wrist in hand, turning it around so that he could see the neat letters spelling out 'Jeon Jungkook'.
"So - so you're not mad at me?"
Jungkook kept quiet for another while, fingers sending tingles down Taehyung's spine as he traced the tattoo. He finally looked back up at him, shaking his head ever-so-slightly.
"No, Tae, I'm not mad at you - I don't think I can be mad at you anymore, honestly."
They both laughed silently, smiling at last.
"It - it might take me a while to get used to, but I'm not going to deny it. It feels weird as hell, and you make me - I don't know, weird?" They laughed again, a short laughter before Jungkook took a deep breath. "You're my soulmate, Taehyung. Nothing will change that. I'll have to get over these fucked up opinions I have and accept reality."
Taehyung gave up on stopping the tears from falling. He had never been that happy before, not once during his almost 21 years on earth.
Jungkook wasn't angry. Jungkook wasn't upset.
Jungkook accepted it. He knew Taehyung was his soulmate, and he didn't have anything against it.
There was no need to hide anything from the boy any longer - He knew, and he was okay with it.
They were each other's soulmates, and nothing would come in their way now.