Chapter Text
It’s been a weird few weeks.
Eugene knows he’s a naturally paranoid and anxious person, but he still freaks out all the same when anything happens. That’s why Pugsley has done everything possible and impossible to accommodate him since they started dating 7 years ago.
Exactly 2 weeks ago, they were talking when Pugsley asked a question.
“I’ve been wondering lately, do you ever want to get married?” Pugsley asked the question innocently, and because this— the asking questions— was an almost weekly occurrence, he didn’t think it was weird at all.
“Well, yeah. It is about the time I imagined I’d be married when I was a kid. I just— Well, you’re my first and only relationship with a guy and I didn’t really think about the whole proposal thing. Who would do it? Or should we both?” Eugene started rambling, like he always does. He didn’t have any reason to be suspicious of this conversation at all, but now it feels like all the signs were right there.
Pugsley always finds a way to calm him down, though. “Hey, it’s fine. I’ll propose if it really causes you so much anxiety to even think about. I was just wondering, because the first time I proposed you rejected it, so I waited, but I didn’t know how long I had to wait.”
“The first time? What are you–?” Then he remembered. “Do you mean that time when we were freshly eighteen? I thought that was a fake proposal, like, ‘Hey, we’re finally legally allowed to get married’.” Eugene frowned. Was that not a joke?
“Well, I was very serious, but you told me to wait a few years, so I did. 5 years.”
Eugene smiled, knowing his boyfriend was joking. Probably.
“Alright, well, you can propose whenever you want darling. What kinda ring are you getting me?” He said that as a joke. A joke. He probably should’ve known that Pugsley would take it very seriously.
Pugsley smiled like he’d said one of his favorite words, and pulled out his phone—Side note, it took so long to get Pugsley a phone that he was still adding new contacts to it every day because he didn’t even have half his friends there after they graduated.
“I actually have thought about that, and I was thinking a small-ish diamond, because I know you don’t like it that extravagant, and also a citrine stone to go with it. I was also thinking maybe adding onyx because black is my color, so in total it would be a three-stone ring with a diamond and a golden band.”
Holy fuck. He has the whole thing planned. In hindsight, it should’ve been obvious.
“Pugsley, what? No, you don’t have to spend that much money on me, I thought I’d made that rule obvious when we first started dating, no gifts more expensive than a hundred dollars.”
Back when they first started dating, they were both just teenagers, and Eugene had learnt that Pugsley had absolutely no concept of money, and had just received a huge inheritance.
He’d established a few rules to make sure Pugsley didn’t spend his whole inheritance and all of his family’s money on gifts for Eugene, like no presents more expensive than a hundred dollars, which worked. For a while.
“Well, yeah. That’s the rule for presents, but this is a special occasion! You deserve the biggest diamonds money can buy, but since I know you’d reject it, I’m buying you a smaller one.” Pugsley sounded so convinced as he said it, it was almost impossible to say no to him. For a normal person, not for Eugene. He’d had practice.
“Pugsley, darling. I know you love me and have been looking for an excuse to waste all your money on me, but you seriously don’t have to buy me an expensive ring.” He laughed at a thought he had. “Honestly, I’d marry you even if you proposed to me with a paper ring.”
That finally got him to stop insisting, choosing to crawl over to Eugene’s side of the bed. “Fine, I won’t buy you a diamond ring. You know, many people beg for their boyfriends to buy them expensive big diamonds, I think you’re the only person I know that turns it down when offered.”
These kinds of sweet gestures are exactly why Eugene chose to marry him. Oh, oops, spoiler.
“Go to sleep, Pugs. We don’t have to think about all of that yet.” And with a goodnight kiss, they dozed off, both thinking of how different married life would be compared to boyfriends life. Eugene doesn’t think it would be any different, but life always finds a way to surprise you.
~🐝💛🖤⚡~
Looking back, obviously, that should’ve been the first sign that Pugsley was planning something. Eugene isn’t the best at reading the room most of the time, though.
So, for the past couple of weeks, Eugene has noticed something strange in Pugsley’s behavior. A change.
Every time Eugene called him, Pugsley never answered the phone. At first, he thought it was because he was still getting used to having a phone, and then that he was trying to get rid of the habit of throwing the phone against a wall when he heard it ring. Yeah, Pugsley isn’t very good with phones.
Anyway, that was at first. Then, he started noticing that Pugsley was asking more questions than ever. Not even about marriage, just about everything he could think of.
He’s been having phases throughout the weeks. First, he’s distant, and when Eugene notices, Pugsley compensates by being overtly affectionate and romantic.
It’s driving Eugene insane. He needs to find out what is wrong with Pugsley.
He weighs the options first. Obviously, Pugsley isn’t cheating on him. He’s so devoted to their relationship, you’d have to worry about him cutting Eugene open and crawling inside his ribs to be with him forever more than you’d have to worry about cheating.
He’s definitely planning something behind Eugene’s back. Maybe it could be that he’s using Wednesday and her wife to make a secret deadly machine and he doesn’t want Eugene to know, because the last time this happened he got the silent treatment for three days.
Wait. Wednesday 's wife. Enid. Of course! She is literally the relationship expert. After all, she managed to handle and tie down Wednesday Addams. She could do close to anything.
He could ask her what’s going on, and maybe get a little bit of guidance on what to do next.
That’s how he found himself in Enid’s living room while Wednesday and Pugsley were out hunting with their dad. What they’re hunting, Eugene doesn’t want to know.
Having a conversation over tea with Enid really calmed his nerves. He told her everything. “I just worry he’s doing something to harm people. You would tell me if he ever came to you with such an ask, right?”
Enid seemed calm through the whole thing, not freaking out in the slightest. Eugene thinks he needs to work on that.
“Of course I would. If I can be completely honest with you, I don’t think he’s building a secret murder machine, but rather… well. I think he might be planning a surprise for you, if you know what I mean.” Enid said in a sort of apologetic manner. Why would she be apologizing?
“I don’t think I know what you mean, no. He knows I don’t really like surprises, anyway.”
He was going to mention the conversation that he and Pugsley had the other day, when suddenly, Enid’s phone started ringing. “Oh– sorry, it’s… Pugsley? What?” She turned around and started walking into the kitchen. “I have to take it. We’ll continue this later, okay?”
She left Eugene alone with his thoughts.
What would Pugsley be calling Enid for? They don’t really know each other that well.
He can’t help the feelings that resurface in that moment. He’s not a jealous person, or at least he doesn’t think so, but he knows it’s the same feeling he got when Pugsley and Agnes talked before Eugene and him started dating.
He brushes it off after a minute, because obviously, why would the guy who was literally asking him about marriage two weeks ago be cheating on him with his sister’s wife of all people? He would never do anything like that.
…right?
Enid comes back from the kitchen with what had to be the biggest smile he’s ever seen on her face. His stomach is churning.
“What did he tell you?” Praying isn’t enough to convey how much he wants to be reassured of his boyfriend’s love for him.
Enid’s smile somehow managed to get even wider. “So turns out I figured out your mystery. And also Pugsley needs my help with something so I need to go, but don’t worry. You guys will be fine and gay for the rest of eternity.”
With that, Enid shoved some housekeys in his hand and left the apartment.
That doesn’t make him feel better. If anything, he wonders what could Pugsley possibly be doing that needs Enid’s help? Maybe he’s going clothes shopping, but that doesn’t correlate with what Pugsley told him earlier, and also, why would Enid be there and not Eugene?
The car ride home was a quiet, uncomfortable one, even though he was alone in the car.
~🐝💛🖤⚡~
Pugsley was nervous the whole ten minutes it took Enid to get there. He didn’t know what he expected, but he definitely didn’t expect Eugene to be at her house, venting about their relationship.
He needs to make it up to him, somehow, but that’s a problem for another moment.
“Pugsley!! I’m here, oh my god, I’m so excited! What made you want to propose now? What kind of ring do you want?” Enid walked through the door, shouting and not caring who heard her.
Pugsley sighed, “You ask a lot of questions, Enid. Wednesday is over there, if you want to talk to her. I’m still seeing how I can get him a diamond ring without having to get an earful of complaints about it being too expensive.”
At first, he thought it was a bad excuse, but in the end Wednesday was right. Eugene had believed they all went hunting while they were actually choosing the ring.
The fact that Eugene went to Enid’s house to ask her something almost blew their cover, but Enid being herself saved them. He thinks, at least. That’s what Enid told him.
These past few weeks, everything has gone downhill in any way it could. First, obviously there’s the fact that Eugene noticed he’s being distant. And—though this one’s his own fault—, now he probably thinks he’s cheating because Pugsley has been overcompensating the lost time by being annoyingly clingy and buying him gifts.
He still remembers the looks on his parents' faces when he told them he was going to propose to his boyfriend of seven years.
~
“Oh, that’s wonderful! Here we were wondering what was taking you so long, you know, Wednesday proposed to her wife after five years, and your father and I got married after three.” Morticia was delighted, rather than excited, but it was enough for him.
His father, on the other hand…
Well, he’s not going to bother you with the details, but Gomez talks a lot. Specifically, he loves giving advice on married life and on how to please your partner.
Don’t get him wrong, at first it was useful advice, but then his father got specific, and Pugsley almost had to remind him that his husband-to-be was a man, and that he couldn’t really use that kind of advice on Eugene.
~
All in all, it went well. If you don’t count the things his father had said.
The next part was to get Eugene’s moms’ blessing, which proved to be more difficult than he’d originally thought.
He didn’t really know a lot about Janet and Sue, because back then, Eugene barely ever invited him to their house and he only got to meet them a handful of times. Pugsley thinks it was about time he had an actual conversation with them, especially if he’s going to marry their son.
~
When he arrived at their house, he was nervous. Pugsley had the wonderful idea to go alone to ask for their blessing, so no backup. He doesn’t think he’s going to get murdered or anything but maybe bringing his sister if only for moral support would’ve been a better idea.
Nothing to do about it now, so he knocked on the door.
When he was finally in the house, it was like the vibes of the house alone eased all of his worries.
“Pugsley! Come in, do you want any cookies or beverages?” Sue greeted him with a wide smile on her face, and a tray of cookies in her hand. He really wishes he saw them more often, they seemed like super nice people.
Pugsley went into their living room, sitting down with them. “No, thank you. I’m actually here because I want to ask you both a very important question, and I’m really nervous because Eugene doesn’t know and could become suspicious of me at any moment.”
Pugsley stopped himself before he started rambling, and got straight to the point. “Sue, Janet. I want to marry your son, and I came here to ask for your blessing to do so and also to ask you to be at the proposal with us and my family so you get to see his reaction in real time. Please?”
That left them both in shock. He hopes that they can’t notice how nervous he really is.
Janet was the first to speak up, “Oh, Pugsley. Of course we give you our blessing to marry our little boy. Pardon our faces, but we have been waiting so long for this moment and it really caught us off guard.”
Sue snapped out of her own shock then, deciding to talk as well. “Yeah, we would be honored to attend the proposal. What did you have in mind?”
~
Pugsley thought the hardest parts about planning the proposal would be inviting the people and reserving the restaurant, but as it turns out, when you’re the grandson of the deceased owner of literally every graveyard in the state, people don’t hesitate to give you reservations.
Now, for the actual most difficult part, the ring. That morning, he told Eugene he was going hunting with his father and Wednesday, while the three of them searched the stores for a diamond that perfectly conveyed his love for Eugene.
While they were there, he discovered that his father actually did know more about how to make a man happy than he originally let on. He would have to ask more questions later, but for now, the ring.
He had a clear idea in mind, but Eugene didn’t want diamonds, and he was starting to doubt his own choices.
So, obviously, he called Enid.
When she finally showed up in the jewelry store, he was nowhere near a decision and the salesman was proving to be very unhelpful when it comes to choosing a ring design for a man to wear.
After what seemed like an eternity of Enid talking to her wife, she finally turned to him to start picking out a ring.
“Alright, well, what are some things that you are one hundred percent sure have to be on the ring? We’ll start there.” Enid said, looking at some ring options on the counter.
“Well, the band has to be gold, because he doesn’t wear silver jewelry, and I do want it to have a small diamond or at least something resembling a diamond. That’s about all I have.”
Enid looked up at him with an expression he couldn’t quite figure out. “Well, that’s more than what some people know before diving into ring shopping, so it’s helpful. Let’s go over there.”
~🐝💛🖤⚡~
After what felt like hours of searching, they settled on matching opalite rings. Pugsley’s ring had a tiny opalite stone next to an onyx one, and Eugene’s ring had a slightly bigger opalite stone with a citrine next to it.
Enid had warned him that she suggested it as a joke and that it was actually a reference to a Taylor Swift song, but he thought it matched their personalities perfectly, so he agreed to have a Taylor Swift reference forever on his hands.
With the rings chosen and Wednesday and his father gone, Enid and he decided to start to plan the proposal itself.
It was supposed to be simple, so they decided to just reserve a whole restaurant for the night, invite their families to be there and he’d just propose over dinner. And so, the proposal was set for next Friday.
The whole way back home, he felt like something was wrong. Maybe it’s because it was almost 9 PM and he hadn’t seen Eugene all day. That must be it. Right?
~🐝💛🖤⚡~
When Friday finally came along, it was no surprise that Pugsley called him from work to tell him they were going out to dinner that night.
After all, he and Eugene go out on Friday every two weeks. What was a surprise was that his boyfriend had told him to dress a little fancier and better than usual, because they were going to an expensive restaurant.
They agreed a while ago to only go to fancy restaurants on special occasions like anniversaries and birthdays, and as much as he wanted to remember, he couldn’t recall that Friday being anything special.
So it was suspicious, yes. But he paid no more than five minutes of thought to it before starting to get dressed.
Then another problem arose when he realized that usually, when they went out to dinner, Pugsley was the one to pick out his clothes, as he was the only one with experience going to expensive restaurants as a kid.
In short, Eugene had no idea of what to wear that night.
Even if it's frustrating how many times he’s been doing this lately, he called Enid. When she picked up the phone, he could hear the rustling of clothes and opening and closing of closets in the background.
“Hey Eugene! What do you need?” Enid said with a slightly anxiety-inducing tone in her voice. Was she in a hurry for something as well?
“Uh– yeah. Can we videocall? I’m going out with Pugsley today and I have no idea what to wear, I could really use your help.”
More noise. If he focused hard enough, he could almost make out Wednesday’s voice in the background asking Enid something. Not sure what it is, though.
“Oh! Yeah, sure, give me a second.” A few moments later, Enid activated the camera and he could see her placing her phone on top of her dresser to get a better angle.
Her room was a total mess. Like, clothes everywhere, makeup scattered all over the table and some on the floor, and Enid herself looked only halfway through getting her makeup done.
Eugene himself also turned on his camera and pointed it at the closet so Enid could get an idea of what they were working with.
“Okay, so I don’t know if I’m interrupting something or why your room is such a mess, but I really need your help because I have no idea what to wear.”
Enid seemed like she was trying to find a way to master the skill of multitasking in the next 2 seconds, because she kept looking at all the makeup that she was trying to put on while also glancing at the phone to help him choose an outfit.
“Well, what did Pugsley ask you to wear? Did he give you a dress code or something? We could also just start by picking the color palette and then up from there.”
Now he’s nervous too.
“He said that we were going to a fancier restaurant than normal today so I guess a suit could do? But I also don’t want to overdress because I have no clue how he’s gonna dress. As for color, I genuinely don’t care, Pugsley bought me a suit in every color that ‘looks good on my skintone’. Or so he says.” He made air quotes with his fingers, while also opening the closet doors to show her all of his suits.
He swears he heard Enid mumble under her breath something about matching the color to the rings. What rings?
“Rings? What are you talking about?”
It doesn’t make it any less suspicious that he can see in real time the panic that flooded Enid’s face. “Nothing! I was thinking about what color to wear to match me and Wednesday’s wedding rings, because we’re going out today too!”
“…Right. I can gather that from the mess that is your room right now. Can we choose already so we can both go back to our own things?”
For some reason, he feels like Enid is lying. Not a good reason, but a hunch.
~
After 15 minutes of going through literally all of the clothes and accessories that he owns, they finally settled on a dark blue suit, a black and gold tie, and a few gold accessories.
“Thank you, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. I’ll let you get back to whatever it was that you were doing. Bye!!”
He hung up before he could hear Enid’s response. He had a feeling that maybe whatever excuse she would come up with would be worse than what he was imagining. Now he just has to wait until Pugsley gets home.
~🐝💛🖤⚡~
Eugene promises that he usually loves date night. Having a night where it’s only the two of them, eating and then getting to go home and watch a movie, it really feels like paradise.
But as they pull into the parking lot of the restaurant, he has a sudden need to look around. There’s no one in the parking lot except for them and a few cars that are extremely familiar to him but can’t quite place.
He doesn’t understand what is going on recently. Since he and Pugsley had that conversation about marriage, he’s been somewhat distant and overcompensating, Enid is also acting weird and he just has a general feeling of discomfort everywhere.
Oh wait, Enid! That’s the car that he recognized. It’s Enid and Wednesday’s car.
…What are they doing here? At the same restaurant as them? That is such a crazy coincidence.
He takes Pugsley’s hand as they walk into the restaurant, and he notices yet again, that the restaurant is strangely empty for a Friday night.
Though he guesses that if the parking lot was empty it would be normal for no people to be in the restaurant as well.
“Thank you for taking me out, as always, but I just had to ask, do you know why the restaurant is so… empty? It’s kind of freaking me out.” Eugene asked as soon as the waitress sat them down on a table that, again, was suspiciously placed in the center of the room even with almost no one around to see it.
The only other people he can see sitting a few tables away from them are Enid and Wednesday, and two old women that he can’t really see because they are so far away. But he swears he recognizes those haircuts from somewhere.
What the hell is happening? Maybe he’s just being paranoid, as usual, but these past few weeks have been very weird.
“Uh… Okay, don’t be mad when I tell you this.” Pugsley’s voice broke him out of his thoughts instantly, and he had such an apologetic look on his face it would be almost impossible not to forgive him for whatever he did. Almost.
“I kind of rented out the whole restaurant for the night and invited a few people because… well, because I have something important to tell you.” He was so visibly nervous and fidgeting with his fingers over the table, and Eugene could only wonder what was so important that required renting out the entire restaurant.
Wait. This isn’t what he thinks it is, right? No way Pugsley’s proposing.
Thinking back, it actually made sense. Their conversation about marriage was more worded like a question, and the being distant these last 2 weeks could very well have been him planning the proposal. And renting out the whole restaurant, which is why only Wednesday and Enid plus a few more people were here—
Are those his moms on that table over there? And— Oh my god. Those are Mr. and Mrs. Addams on the table on the corner. And they’re all looking directly at him. Holy fuck, Pugsley’s proposing to him right now.
“Honey, what’s going on? Because I think I have a pretty good idea and if it’s not that I'm gonna be disappointed. Just— Nevermind, what did you want to tell me?” He really tried not to sound nervous, but honestly, compared to how Pugsley was right now, he doesn’t think anyone noticed him.
He obviously knew how proposals worked, but seeing Pugsley get up from the table and kneel in front of him still made his heart jump and flutter in ways it never had before.
He thought he was gonna have a heart attack when his soon-to-be fiancé pulled out a small box from his pocket.
“You have no idea how nervous I am right now, oh my god.” He paused to take a breath.
“My love, caro mio, I have been in love with you since the day that we met, I can promise you to be forever in love until the day that we cease to exist, and for so long I’ve been waiting for you to want to make our union legally recognized and official, so. Eugene Ottinger, will you marry me?”
He's crying. There are actual tears falling from his eyes. Now that he notices, actually, they’re both crying a little bit. Wait, shit, he still hasn’t answered.
“Yes, of course I want to marry you. I just— Oh my god, I’ll tell you later, come here.”
It was sort of difficult to kiss him when both of their faces were wet with tears, but they did nonetheless, and it was so worth hearing the cheering all around them.
He knows that at least Enid was recording, so he'll have to ask her for the video later. For now, he’s going to have a peaceful dinner with the company of his now fiancé and the lovely opalite and citrine ring on his finger.
~🐝💛🖤⚡~
He swears he’ll never get tired of hearing Pugsley say stupid things.
As soon as they got home, one could probably argue they were the happiest people on earth. Perhaps too happy.
Pugsley paused their kissing to breathe and also asked, “Okay, so I know ‘consummating the marriage' is technically when you are already legally married and on your honeymoon or whatever, but like, would you want to consummate the proposal?”
He failed miserably at his attempt of not laughing. “You are such a dork, it’s insane. Yes, of course I want to, I always do. Let's go.”
Safe to say, if their neighbors didn’t hate them before, they do now.