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Prompt: There is a reason the Ministry has banned this particular variety of mistletoe.
Minerva said crisply, “Well, now that that’s settled we have the vote to renew the ban on ‘Will-o’-the-kiss’ mistletoe.
Filius leaned forward eagerly, “Oh that’s fun stuff! Do you know the Ministry once banned it—”
Severus scowled. “You are not filibustering us, again, for bloody mistletoe.”
“It’s such an interesting variety though! It’s layered with charms, quite complex to create! In 1730 Marcellius Malfoy invented it, and in 1731 he had it banned. It has some very unique properites—”
“Here we go,” said Minerva.
Severus scowled even more fiercely.
“It floats around the person it’s attached to, almost impossible to get rid of, and lights up when you get near someone you’d like to kiss. Supposed to lead you to them, hence the name, it kind of bobs around, glowing, showing the path to someone you’re attracted to. Marcellius got into a bit of trouble though because when he tried it out on himself it didn’t respond to his wife at all! It has to be lit up when someone kisses you for it to disappear, and he tried to claim it as an excuse to kiss another woman!”
He paused, looking around the table to ensure everyone was paying attention.
Hermione said, “I’ve read about this, didn’t it light up when he saw his own sister, too?”
“Oh great, the know-it-all knows it all, once again,” muttered Snape.
Hermione flushed and slumped a little.
Filius smiled at her, “Quite right my dear, quite right. His wife already wanted a divorce and that was the final straw for her. She claimed him embarrassing her as cause to get a better deal in their split. In the courtroom he set some of it on her and accused her of having an affair with their Herbologist! Trotted the young man out, and a handsome, muscular, lovely specimen of a man he was. No reaction whatsoever from her ‘Will-o’-the-kiss’ mistletoe. Not even a twitch. She got all she wanted in the divorce, stepped out of the courtroom, and right into the arms of his sister! Her mistletoe lit up even brighter than his had originally. He was terribly embarrassed by the whole thing. Everyone was aware he’d been lusting after practically every woman he saw, including his own sister, who then ran off with his own wife in the end. He had the mistletoe banned, even though it was his own invention. Practically the last thing he did before he was pushed out of the Ministry and retired in disgrace, and his ban stood for over 100 years. It was on the list on banned products at Hogwarts independently of course, so the Ministry banning it hardly mattered to us—”
“And it would stay banned, if you’d let us vote,” groused Snape.
“Ahh but where’s the fun in that Severus? Wouldn’t you like to liven things up around here with a bit of Christmas cheer?”
“No.”
“It’s not like letting the ban lapse could do that much harm, let the students have a little fun!”
“It is banned for a reason.”
Slughorn said sympathetically, “You forget, Filius. There was some mischief with a similar Valentine’s product when Severus was in school, with Miss Evans.”
Snape’s scowl intensified. “That is neither here nor there. There is no reason for the students to make use of this”—his lip curled up and he sneered with particular disgust—“mistletoe.”
Filius grinned cheekily. “Too late! It’s 3pm, so I guess we will have to postpone the vote to continue the ban until January. There I go, filibustering again!"
Most of the staff rose quickly, eager to escape the meeting. Snape looked particularly sour.
Hermione said hesitantly, “I doubt it will matter. I mean the contraband list will be updated until we can ban it again but I’m pretty sure I was the only student to ever bother looking at that.”
He stared at her for a moment without saying anything, then abruptly spun and billowed away.
~~~
It was on Tuesday, when Snape didn’t come to lunch, that they first realised something was wrong. Hermione hadn’t noticed his non attendance at breakfast, but the students gossiping about his classes being cancelled caught their attention.
Minerva looked suddenly alert. “Has anyone seen Severus? He hadn’t let me know he was ill.” She looked around at them all and then said sharply, “Filius. What have you done?”
“Nothing,” he squeaked. Under her glare he admitted, “Just a little mishap with that mistletoe we unbanned last week. I may have overdone it on the charms a little last night.”
“And where is Severus now?”
“I think he’s contemplating the use of Fiendfyre,” he admitted sheepishly.
Minerva rose up hastily, “He can’t! Any use of Dark Magic would be a violation of his parole—”
“Kidding! He’s trying to make a potion that will mimic the effects of Fiendfyre. Or anything else he can come up with to get rid of the mistletoe.”
“And cancelling his classes? Missing meals? You know he can’t do that with all the conditions the Ministry placed on him for his pardon. How could you do this Filius?”
Filius slumped a little. “I just wanted him to have a little fun. Lighten up a bit.”
Minerva looked at him with disappointment then turned and strode off, no doubt to retrieve Professor Snape. The others started gossiping immediately. They didn’t have official seating for meals, but unofficially the apprentices usually sat across from their masters. Since Trelawney didn’t attend meals Lavender had taken the seat across from Professor Snape to be closer to the action.
Lavender leaned across the table now to ask Slughorn, “What was the incident when he was at school? You said something about Valentine’s Day?”
Hermione looked up, biting her lip. Her first instinct was to interrupt and tell the other girl off for gossiping, but she wanted to know the gossip, even knowing she shouldn’t. She remained silent, figuring they’d all still talk about it anyway, they just wouldn’t do it while she was around to overhear it if she said anything.
Slughorn smiled sadly. “When he was a student some of the kids came up with these blooming flowers that would open their petals when you were attracted to someone and wilt when you were not. Everyone knows about his relationship with Miss Evans now, of course. Well James Potter stuck one on her and it bloomed around pretty much everyone, except Severus. Whenever she got near him it wilted dramatically. They teased him about it dreadfully, and started causing other plants to wilt around him too. I did take points off when I caught them at it, of course, but perhaps not enough.”
Hermione turned to frown at Filius, finding it difficult to believe he would have set mistletoe on the other man, given that history. She’d thought the two were friends, they played chess together every Monday, and usually seemed to get along. She’d heard them laughing together just last night. This seemed rather mean though.
Hermione heard Cormac, seated between her and Lavender, whisper gleefully to the other girl, “Reckon he’s hiding now because he’s attracted to all the students and doesn’t want anyone to realise?”
Lavender said, “Oh yuck! I hope not.”
Hermione said, perhaps a little too loudly, “Don’t be ridiculous, you have no reason to suspect such a thing. He’s never behaved at all inappropriately, with anyone!”
She noticed the red glow in her peripheral vision a moment later and turned to see Snape standing nearby, obviously having overheard her. His usually austere appearance was interrupted by an ungodly amount of mistletoe that was all floating above his head, all of it glowing brightly. The leaves didn’t, but the red berries were all luminous. Snape stepped up, expression completely impassive, as though he weren’t wearing a floating crown of Christmas decorations and took his seat. Minerva sat a moment later and glared at her apprentice until Cormac gulped.
Everyone was staring at Snape though, and Hermione, feeling bad for him, started talking in an attempt to distract them all and give the poor man a break. She launched into a discussion with Neville about his Mimbulus mimbletonia, which hadn’t been doing well.
“I was reading an article in a Muggle magazine the other day and it had an advertisement for a special kind of soil for cacti. It had little chunks of volcanic rock mixed in, which has a lot of air bubbles and that helps ensure the soil won’t get clogged and water logged, because cacti need a lot of water drainage. Perhaps you could try adding something similar? I actually thought that perhaps Salamander droppings would work well, and the Mimbulus mimbletonia does like the heat doesn’t it?”
Neville didn’t respond. He was staring at Snape, or rather at the mistletoe berries which were growing even brighter now. Professor Sprout took up the conversation, agreeing with her that it sounded like a good idea and they discussed it for a while. After that she cut across Cormac to ask Lavender if she’d heard from Ron lately, and to laugh at how dilatory he was as a correspondent. Then she discussed a Transfiguration article with Minerva and Cormac, before engaging Filius in a discussion about an obscure charm she’d read about for tilling soil when she was researching Neville’s problem.
She’d been trying to distract everyone from Snape, but it hadn’t worked at all. It could not escape anyone’s notice that every time she spoke, he glowed. Hermione couldn’t help but blush. If she was understanding the properties of this particular version of mistletoe correctly, then anytime she said anything it made Snape want to kiss her.
Snape was completely impassive. He sat in silence, not unusual for him, and ate his lunch. He ignored them all staring at him and she couldn’t help but admire it. She had no idea what to think though. Lavender appeared to be making a bid for his attention, and there was no response whatsoever. The berries constantly glowed for Hermione though. It wasn’t always consistent, sometimes they were brighter, when he apparently particularly liked what she was saying, but they were always floating towards her, as though straining to reach her across the table.
He finished eating, rose, and stalked off. The students who had afternoon classes stared after him looking particularly fearful. Hermione suspected that even they had seen the mistletoe and understood what it meant. She blushed as brightly as his berries had at the thought.
~~~
Dinner was much the same. She didn’t talk as much, but when she did she had a constant glowing reminder of how much Snape liked whatever she had said. He spoke to Minerva a little but ignored the rest of them. After dinner she was sitting in Filius’s office grading papers with him when Minerva came in. She settled herself and summoned a tea tray from the kitchens.
“Hermione, I wanted to make sure this situation with the mistletoe isn’t making you feel uncomfortable.”
“Well... it is a little awkward,” she admitted.
“Would you like me to ask Severus to move further down the table at meals?”
“What? No! Professor Snape isn’t making me uncomfortable. At all! It’s just a little embarrassing but it’s not his fault.”
“I’m relieved that you see it that way dear.” Minerva smiled kindly at her and then turned to eye Filius sternly. “Would you like to explain what on earth you were thinking?”
He sighed. “We had a bit of Firewhiskey. I’ve known of his interest in Hermione for a while and I was trying to convince him to ask her out. I set the mistletoe on him because I thought he’d ask her for help to get rid of it and the silly man would finally do something about his feelings, and instead he got all upset and stalked off in a huff and now he’s just being stubborn.”
“Filius—”
“Come off it Minnie, they are practically perfect for each other! Severus is so convinced that it’s hopeless he won’t even try. I thought this would work but he got all miserable about her kissing him out of pity and refused to ask her on principle.”
They both turned to look at her then and she gulped. “He really does... Like me then?”
“You couldn’t doubt it, surely?”
“I didn’t know what to think! The mistletoe seems- but he’s never liked me! And he’s still rather mean to me at times, he certainly doesn’t act like someone who wants- well, anything to do with me, really.”
“Well, what if he did?”
“I don’t know,” she said miserably. It was clear they both were pleased at the idea of her and Snape being together, and she hated to disappoint them. “I’d really never thought about it before and I just find it so hard to imagine. If he’d asked me out, I don’t know, I would have just been astonished! I guess I would have said yes, just to see where it goes. I’m not absolutely determined against him or anything, but the idea is very strange. He’s so much older than me and we’ve barely had a civil conversation.”
Filius had a little gleam in his eye that told her he’d taken her response more positively than she’d expected. She blushed a little and the two of them took pity on her and changed the subject.
~~~
The following day at breakfast Cormac and Snape were sniping at each other. This was not an uncommon occurrence. Snape obviously had little respect for Minerva’s apprentice, Hermione wasn’t convinced Minerva had much for him either, and Cormac was brash enough to escalate it, even though he quite often ended up looking stupendously stupid as a result.
Today though Cormac said, “It’s no wonder you can’t even get rid of a bit of mistletoe! Can’t even get a pity kiss out of Granger!”
Snape flinched, and his sallow cheeks pinked.
Hermione said angrily, “Don’t be ridiculous Cormac. Obviously I would have kissed him if he wanted me to. He knows that perfectly well and would have asked me before turning up to the great hall with it floating above his head if he wanted to just to be rid of it.”
The berries glowed even brighter than ever, bathing her in a bright red light as they strained across the table towards her. She wondered if anyone would even be able to see her blush or if they’d just blame the mistletoe.
Cormac said petulantly, “Well he should have. That’s just embarrassing, seeing him pining over you like that.”
Snape drawled, “Why would that be embarrassing McLaggen?”
Cormac blinked at him.
“Miss Granger is brilliant, brave and determined, kind and compassionate, and beautiful. My feelings are perfectly natural and nothing to be embarrassed over. Anyone who isn’t half in love with her is surely a dunderhead to be immune to her charms.”
Everyone stared at him in astonishment. Hermione’s cheeks burned and her stomach fluttered.
Neville, strangely, was the first to recover. “You think Hermione is brilliant?”
“Obviously. She’s intelligent, and how can one not admire her? She is, perhaps, a bit of a show off at times, but also often so kind. Consider your Mimbulus mimbletonia problem. You mention in passing that your little plant is sick, and she goes off to research it for you, to the point that she is finding obscure gardening charms, and even reading Muggle gardening magazines. Do you realise how much work she must have put into that? And then she comes up with a solution, adapting multiple disciplines together, including Muggle advice, and it would have worked, wouldn’t it? And does she ask for, or even expect, your thanks? An acknowledgement of her efforts? No, because she would do the same for any of her friends.”
Neville looked at her, “I told you not to go to any trouble!”
“It wasn’t any trouble, really! I couldn’t find any helpful charms but it was interesting to research, and then I just thought that perhaps Muggles might know more. They do have a better understanding of some things than we do.”
Snape said, “Do you know how many Muggle-born come through this school determined to prove themselves, to show wizards the value of their heritage? Do you know how many get through seven years of schooling, facing constant criticism from you purebloods, and don’t take the easy path and assimilate? It is so rare for anyone to persist in living in both worlds, when it is so much easier to simply abandon their heritage. Not Miss Granger though. She still wears Muggle clothing, because it’s better, and cheaper. She uses a Muggle pencil to do the crossword in the Prophet, instead of blotting ink everywhere. She can use a quill better than most wizards, but she still carries around a Muggle biro and a little spiral bound notebook to take notes down when she’s suddenly struck by inspiration. I cannot but admire her stubborn determination in the phase of our ridiculous xenophobia.”
“But- but you’ve always insulted her. You still call her an insufferable know-it-all!”
“Yes, and what an insult. Oh no, Miss Granger is too smart and she knows too many things, how terrible.”
Neville’s mouth dropped open. “Why haven’t you ever said anything? Or asked to court her?”
“I suffer no delusions of receiving a positive return of my affections,” he said, dispassionately.
Everyone looked at her and she blushed again. She couldn’t believe Snape had said all of those lovely things about her, or how much he had noticed about her. Eventually the conversation around them returned to normal, but Hermione sat there pondering the things he’d said, heart pounding.
The way he was so convinced that it was absolutely impossible for her to return his feelings made her heart hurt. She couldn’t imagine feeling so hopeless. She thought of him as a teenager, seeing Lily’s flower blooming for everyone but him.
She looked at him now, and he wasn’t that ugly. He was rather striking actually. Not handsome, but distinguished. He was a little older, his face lined prematurely, but he was fit and carried himself well. He suddenly turned, black eyes meeting hers, and she blushed and looked away.
~~~
They continued that way. She only really ever saw him at meals, and he continued to glow for her, and for her alone. She was proved correct when his berries did not respond to any of the students whatsoever. Hermione’s apprentice quarters adjoined Filius’s and so it was that one night she heard raised voices coming from his rooms.
She caught Snape saying, “—said they would fade after a week. Well, as you can see they have not faded.”
She didn’t catch Filius’s response, as he wasn’t yelling, and she moved closer to the doorway.
Snape said, “And if my wonderful mistletoe isn’t deceiving me, Miss Granger is just behind the door, listening in.”
Hermione jerked back instinctively, and then, realising she was caught, pushed the door open. “Hello! Would you like me to help you get rid of the mistletoe?”
“You’ve found a spell that might help? Nothing we’ve tried has worked.”
“Oh! No. Filius made them unbreakable, and well, he is a Charms Master, so it’s unbreakable. I just meant... I could kiss you. That’s the usual way of getting rid of it, after all.”
He swallowed loudly.
Hermione stepped back, holding the door open. “Would you like to come in?”
He swept past her, robes billowing behind him, ignoring Filius entirely. Hermione offered her mentor an apologetic smile. He winked encouragingly at her in response as she closed the door. She turned to find Snape looking around her little sitting room, an austere black slash against the cozy, cream coloured room.
“Take a seat. Would you like some tea?”
“You wouldn’t rather just get it over with?”
“I’d like to have some tea first.”
He settled himself into one of her armchairs while Hermione made a tea tray and poured them both a cup. She racked her brain for something to say but her mind was stupidly just blank. They sat in awkward silence, sipping their tea, until she decided she’d had enough.
“Okay. Kissing time.”
She rose and stepped up next to him, leant over the arm of the chair, and placed a hand on his shoulder. His eyes were wide as he looked at her, and then blinked in response to the blinding red lights shining on them from above his head. Hermione pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. The light dimmed slightly. She knew Filius had set several bunches on him, apparently one kiss wasn’t enough for all of them. She brushed his lips again, lingering this time, and he responded slightly. She took advantage, deepening the kiss, and slipped onto his lap to straddle him.
He grunted, then pulled back slightly. “Just touching our lips together should satisfy the requirement, you don’t need to—”
She pressed her lips against his. “I know.”
“The mistletoe is all gone.”
“I know.” She kissed him again.
His hands reached up to cup her face, warming her cheeks, but he didn’t kiss her back. “What are you doing?”
“Just making sure you’re all clear. Wouldn’t want it to come back.”
“That is not how it works.”
“Excuse me, but last I checked Charms was not your area of expertise.”
“You’re joking?” He asked, uncertain.
“Yes. I just... was enjoying the kissing and thought you might like to continue.”
“Oh.”
Hermione made to get up. He suddenly grabbed her and fused their mouths together. Her exclamation of surprise was smothered against his lips, and his tongue slid against hers as their teeth clacked together inelegantly.
He backed off. “Sorry. I—”
She pressed forward, gently capturing his lips again and slowly stroking a hand through his hair. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her against him, as they kissed passionately.
When she finally pulled back for air he painted into her hair and whispered, “Why? I mean... You weren’t interested in me. Before. And now you’re kissing me. Do you mean it?”
“No, I wasn’t, before. I didn’t think you liked me. Now you keep saying lovely things about me. You said I was brilliant, and beautiful, and anyone who isn’t half in love with me is a dunderhead.” She hesitated a moment before whispering, “Did you mean that?”
“Every word,” he vowed.
She whispered against his lips, “Then I mean every kiss.”