Work Text:
She didn't mean for this to happen really. She thought it would never happen. She always dreamed of experiencing romance for once in her life. Only she didn't want it like this.
It happened on that day. The day she helped that tabby cat escape from Moby-dick. He promised her he would save her but in the end he didn't. He said he couldn't find her and yet he was able to find that Port Mafia boy.
It was painfully obvious that the tiger cat loved him. The way he would look at him and would lit up as soon as someone mentioned him. How the black cloth lover would also soften his gaze as soon as his eyes met the tiger's.
They would constantly give each other death threats, bicker a lot, be willing to punch the other which gave her a sense of hope that maybe it isn't what it seems like that she still has a chance.
So she helped as much as she could. Took a job at the Agency's care as an excuse to see him, she would suggest using Anne's Room whenever she found the chance, something, anything to get him to look at her but of course that didn't happen.
Every single mission just had to include him. The coat wearer would always be paired up with the one she loved due to the stupid truce. They would constantly glare at each other to everyone else, they seemed like they despised each other and wanted the other dead but she could see, she could see the way it was an excuse, an excuse to meet the other's eyes, to not be judged for admiring the other.
Still a tiny part of her heart, the irrational one, told her to continue maybe they really are just enemies and they do hate each other. Well that hope came crashing down when Christmas came.
Apparently everyone in this workplace was a traumatized abandoned kitten. None of them had actually experienced the joy of ‘secret Santa'. It was a game she used to play at the orphanage. Yes, she didn't have the best orphanage but the older kids used to play secret Santa to cheer everyone up.
Everyone was gathered in the cafe. Doing their usual things. Ranpo was talking with Yosano, Kunikida scolding Dazai for flirting with the cafe waitress, Atsushi constantly apologizing. Kyoka eating her crepes and Kenji being fascinated by everyone like the sweet oblivious child he was.
She thought of this as her opportunity to strike.
“Have you all ever played secret Santa?”
They all looked at her with a confused expression before shaking their heads. Thought so.
“Well it's a simple game played during this time of the year! We write our names on a piece of paper, each of us then pick a paper and whoever's name is written on the paper we give them gifts!”
“We played a similar game in our village! We all secretly gifted each other potatoes and carrots secretly! I didn't know you town people also played this!” Oh that sweet summer child. Lucy could never get enough of his obliviousness.
“That seems fun!” Dasani said, of course he will be ready. Lucy had no idea how he had gotten into the agency.
“Do Dazai and Ranpo get to play? They will obviously know everyone's gifts and the gifters.”
Dazai gasped, “My Yosano sense! Do you think I would do such a thing?”
“Dazai can play, I will just spectate the game.”
“Kyoka-chan do you wanna play?” Atsushi politely asked her and she nodded.
“Great then! Let's-”
She was gonna give everyone a piece of paper before the door opened and in walked a Mafia Executive and his fellow colleague? What do Mafia people call each other?
“Oh I would have almost not seen my dog if Akutagawa wasn't here with you.” Akutagawa glared at Dazai. He had started to be less afraid of Dazai and Dazai would never say it out loud but he really was glad that Akutagawa was less fearful now.
Chuuya rolled his eyes at him, “I don't need a bandage waster's attention.” Oh and if a liar's height shortened with each lie they told Chuuya would be smaller than a dog that was something both Dazai and Chuuya knew.
“Nakahara and Akutagawa, what would have brought you here? I am sure we don't have any meetings scheduled today?” Kunikida said professionally but his tone was a bit uninviting.
“Well chibi missed me of course! Can't even manage a day without me, such a loyal dog.”
Chuuya scoffed, “Shut up, As if anyone would miss you. I came here because I got a notification that someone had ordered a coffee with my card.” Chuuya turned around to glare at Dazai.
Dazai picked up his coffee and looked at Chuuya with a smirk, “Chibi! I know I am a detective but I don't solve such small cases. You should have better security.” If they didn't have a truce Dazai would have landed straight in the hospital the murderous aura Chuuya was giving.
“Akutagawa and.... Nakahara-san do you both have a free day?”
“We do,” Akutagawa replied before Chuuya could.
“Oh.. then- then would you both like to play a game with us?” Everyone turned around to stare at Atsushi. He just invited him for the formality no big deal. No big deal. Lucy told herself
“And what is this game you wanna play?” Akutagawa asked.
“Oh, well we write our names on pieces of paper and then gift a present to the person whose name was written on our paper.”
Chuuya smirked, he replied before Akutagawa could. “I don't suppose we have anything to gain from this little game of yours?”
“Oh- no- nothing I- I it's okay-” Atsushi, bless his soul, suddenly felt embarrassed for asking them to play.
“We will play, I have nothing to do or unless Akutagawa you have somewhere to be?” and of course he had nowhere to be! So even in this simple game he was somehow involved!? The universe had to be mocking her.
They all wrote their names and Dazai stole Chuuya's hat to shuffle the pieces of paper in it for which he did receive a hard kick. She couldn't ignore just now close Akutagawa and Atsushi were laughing.
Soon they all picked pieces of papers.
Atsushi. She almost punched the air before controlling herself. She had gotten Atsushi and she was gonna make sure it will be worth it. From the corner of her eyes she caught Atsushi with a glint in his eyes. Some part of her brain maybe the rational part told her beforehand ‘it's not you’ but like they say love makes a person blind. She ignored that warning.
They all went to the market together. It was supposed to be secret Santa but Dazai suggested it to be just ‘santa’ and we give each other our gifts in person to which no one seemed to disagree and Lucy couldn't be happier.
They all paired up and went in their own ways. Lucy was with Yosano. Strangely, Yosano was one of those who she didn't know about. It was strange considering she knew alot about the women at the Agency.
“So what are you getting?” She tried to initiate a conversation.
“If I tell you, won't you know who it is?” She had a point.
“True.”
They continued to walk in silence until Yosano stopped, near a shop.
“This is the place I am gonna get my present from.”
“Okay, I will go and get mine then we can meet back at the Agency?”
“Sure.”
With that she left to get what she wanted. She had picked a present she thought Atsushi would love. Clothes. Yes, clothes. His only clothes were his Agency outfit and he had been deciding to get some clothes only the Agency didn't pay that much money. Lucy herself had some savings from working for the guild and her new job. She didn't know who her Santa was. Internally she was hoping for it to be Atsushi.
By the time everyone was done it was evening. They all were near a big Christmas tree in the shopping district. They were walking back to the Agency, and everyone was talking. Atsushi and Akutagawa bickering as usual though maybe she was overthinking it but she could hear secret messages in their talk. The messages were well hidden but she could hear some other meaning to their sentences.
“Do you wish that I throw you in a river Jinko?”
Do you need to rest?
“If you wanna carry another fight we can do it fine on the land.”
I am fine, carrying bags, tired.
She was over thinking it. They were bickering as usual. Nothing too much. Though she still couldn't ignore the softening of Akutagawa's eyes when looking at Atsushi and how Atsushi didn't care to look at anyone other than him. Lucy had tried to get his attention so many times during this walk. She would initiate a conversation but Atsushi would round it back to threatening Akutagawa. Akutagawa also seemed to enjoy his company. Her overthinking probably made her hallucinate things…..
By the time they all arrived back it was night. Ranpo was eating his sweets and he looked at Lucy with an expression she possibly couldn't describe. It looked like… a warning. She couldn't really tell at the moment though soon it was clear what that was.
She was tasked to make coffee for everyone which she did. Everyone drinked and ate while wrapping thier presents. They couldn't do it beforehand because Ranpo had been waiting and it would have taken time. When they were done with that it was time to give their presents.
Kyoka gave a her present to Kunikida. It was a new pen. She figured his notebook probably couldn't be replaced but the pen was of good quality and it wasn't breaking soon. Kunikida shyly thanked her to which she smiled.
Kenji gave a present to Kyoka. It was a dish made at his village for which kyoka thanked him. It was delicious.
Yosano gave a present to Kenji. It was a recipe book for all the foods he had eaten in the city and wanted his parents to know about. He was more than excited.
Dazai gave a present to Chuuya. It was a high quality choker. It wasn't that Chuuya's choker was a cheap one or anything, It was just really old. Dazai passed it as a ‘joke’ saying his dog should have a new collar. Chuuya did kick him for that but lighter this time.
Chuuya gave a present to Yosano. It was a high quality wine. She was more than thrilled to try it after they wrapped up the gift giving. How did he know about her love for wine? Well that is something no one was gonna ask.
Kunikida gave a present to Dazai. It was a ‘how to cook book' because his cooking absolutely sucked. Everyone laughed at it, especially Dazai. Though his smile seemed more genuine.
Then it was Akutagawa. His gift was for Lucy. That meant Atsushi was gifting Akutagawa. It hurt her a bit. She didn't have a massive hope for Atsushi to be the one to give her a gift but it still stung a bit. Akutagawa gave her a scrapbooking journal. Anne's Room provided everything she needed but it still shook her that Akutagawa knew what she wanted. She smiled and thanked him.
Then it was her turn. She walked over to Atsushi. Her heart was beating so fast. She hoped no one could actually hear her heart rate. She gave him her gift. Explained how she heard him complain about his winter outfits and she could tell Atsushi was shocked at her for actually listening to him complaining. He checked the clothes and smiled at her. For a second there she caught disappointment?
Was her gift bad? Did he not need clothes? Did he not like the colors? Was there something wrong with the fabric? Did it make him embarrassed? Did she make him embarrassed!? So many different thoughts were running through her head. None were good.
“Montgomery-chan?” She snapped out of her thoughts.
“Are you alright? You seemed distracted?”
“Yes, I am fine. Do you like it?”
“Yes, thank you very much.”
She sat back at her seat. So he liked it. After she sat back Atsushi got up from his seat and walked over to Akutagawa who had an unimpressed look plastered on his face. She could tell how fake it was. Atsushi shyly gave him his gift, his eyes lit up. He tried to not look flustered but his cheeks were slightly pink, on which no one commented.
“Akutagawa-kun! What do you say when someone gives you a gift~” Akutagawa glared at Dazai before actually saying ‘thank you' due to which Atsushi lit up.
The rest of the night went by. Soon everyone returned to their dorms. Dazai and Chuuya asked Akutagawa to stay at the Agency since they did have a meeting in the morning and it would be ‘difficult’ for him to go back and forth and the agency can not afford more broken windows.
Lucy locked the cafe. It was alright. Maybe her gift wasn't that good but Atsushi liked it didn't he? She sighed, she really didn't have a chance did she? She was gaslighting herself into ignoring the signs. How Akutagawa seemed to lit up, how his cheeks were pink, how Atsushi was also happy.
She was deciding to leave it be when she saw it. Akutagawa against the wall and Atsushi in front of him. Their lips were colliding. They both seemed out of breath, yet they kept kissing. When they finally drew back to breath, Atsushi looked at the other with such loving eyes that one would assume they were soulmates.
That broke Lucy. She knew she should give up. She was gonna give up but seeing this broke her. She rushed to the nearest bathroom. There she broke. It seemed like a dam had broken in her as tears continued to pour. She tried her best to stay silent but she couldn't. She didn't go to work the next day. Nobody called her to ask how she was doing. Ranpo had told them not to.
It was her fault. She was to blame for this. She kept her feelings for herself. She fell in love with a boy who could never return her love. She wanted to always experience love but not like this.