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Nora could hear her pulse, the erratic beating of it loud enough to drown everything else out. She was unable to focus on anything else although her mind was reeling. She looked around her, wondering why no one in the waiting room was staring at her, because surely they could hear it too. She was terrified, the feeling made worse by having to face this alone. The only thing that made it okay was that Merle was finally stepping up and keeping a job for more than a few days. It had been a month and he still went to work every day. He hadn't gone back to using, he didn't go to the bar every night, staying until he was kicked out. He drank a few beers after work, of course, but that was at home, while they were together. He spent most of his extra time with her now.
"Eleanore Bailey."
When her name was called she nearly jumped out of her own skin. Her hands were shaking as she picked up her purse and the paperwork she had filled out. The nurse smiled at her as she entered into the back and she knew the woman was trying to soothe her. It was obvious to anyone that her nerves were practicaly eating her alive, but how could she be calm?
Nora turned her attention to the nurse as she checked her over. She took her blood pressure, temperature, and checked her breathing, all the typical stuff. Then she asked her if there was anything going on.
"I'm not sure, but I've been really swollen lately. More than usual. " If the slight change in expression was anythign to go by, it wasn't nothing. She asked her a few questions, how long had this been going on, had she noticed any other changes, then a few more. One of them being if she as having any headaches. When she answered affirmitively, there was an even greater reaction.
"Is there something wrong?" Nora asked wearily.
"It could be nothing, I'll alert the doctor and then she can check you over more."
She realized then that it could be a big thing. She was pregnant, she knew that swelling occured, especially in the later months, which was exactly where she was. She looked down at her stomach when the nurse went out of the room. Where her pale ivory skin used to be taut and fit was now expanded into a roundness you only saw with pregnancy. The rest of her body was still thin, hardly any weight was gained that didn't come with he growing child in her womb. The only other place that really saw any change were her breasts. They were nearly a cup size bigger, which shocked her. Merle didn't mind. He was pretty thrilled, actually. He liked bigger breasts, and although hers were nicely sized for her petite frame, he definitely didn't complain about their sudden growth.
She was nearly full term now, and she was terrified and thrilled all at once. Merle had been absent for the first half of the pregnancy, but after his brother confronted him he actually got clean and stepped up. His brother had been a comfort to her. He was secretly a sweetheart, and a good guy when Merle wan't there to put him down and boss the younger man around. That was one thing she hated about Merle. He was a prick towards his little brother. It was obvious, at least to her, that they cared for each other, but God forbid they show it. Nora loved Merle, she truly did, but sometimes she just wanted to beat the shit out of him for how he treated Daryl.
It was a couple hours later and she had been diagnosed. Pre-eclampsia, they said. She briefly remembered the term coming up in a conversation with her mom while she was still alive. From what they had been telling her, it could be life threatening for her and the baby both if left untreated. She had been taken to the hospital by ambulence and was now in a sterile room all by herself with nothing but her thoughts. They hadn't been able to get ahold of Merle at his work, after a few times she asked them to call Daryl. She was wringing her hands and kept touching her stomache, stressing h
erself out even more. Her mind was coming up with awful scenarios and she couldn't sit still.
That was how Daryl found her. He had charged in, looking ready to take down any threat. He rushed over the second he saw her and she nearly cried with relief of not being alone. Daryl was covered in grease and dirt, still in his mechanics uniform, but she had never been more happy to see him.
"What's goin' on? They said they couldn't tell me anythin' over tha phone." Hearing his voice did a lot to soother her.
"They said I have pre-eclampsia, and that I've probably had it for a while." Nora ran a hand through her bright orange hair, mussing it even more. Daryl pulled the chair closer to her before sitting down.
"And what is pre-whatever? What does that mean?" He sounded like he was ready to take on the world right then.
"It's a condition that causes my blood pressure to go really high and me to swell up really bad. There is also protein in the urine, and it could cause abnormalities with my liver and kidneys." Nora could see him trying to take this all in.
"And how bad is it? It serious?"
"If left untreated very long it could be dngerous, it turns into eclampsia and that can be life threatening to us both." She could see Daryl go a bit rigid as he looked down at her stomach covered by the thin hospital blanket." Apparently they don't even know what causes it, but Eclampsia is basically the placenta not functioning properly. The placenta is what gets blood to the baby, so if it doesn't work it's obviously very serious."
The nurses came in often to check her stats, always asking if she needed anything. One of her nurses, Christa, was very nice and offered to keep calling Merle. Daryl was getting more and more angry at his brother for not showing up. Nora was starting to wonder herself what was going on with him. The thought that he had relapsed kept floating back into her mind and it was getting harder and harder for her to push it away.
Finally, Daryl had had enough. "I'm goin' ta go find him." He declared as he bolted up out of his chair. Nora looked up, startled by the sudden movement.
"Daryl-" She wanted him to stay with her, she didn't want to be alone. But she also wanted Merle there if they had to perform a sudden c-section, which she and Daryl both now knew was a possibility.
Daryl roughly ran a hand through his hair. "No, he has ta be here. I ain't gonna let him miss this." He turned back towards her, stepping up to her side. "This is both of y'alls kid, ya both need ta be here. I ain't gonna let him turn out like our pa and miss his kid's birth. You and the baby both deserve better than that."
Nora felt tears prickling her eyes as she reached over to grab his hand. "Thank you, Daryl. At least I know, no matter what, this baby has someone else who cares for them." Daryl gave her one of his rare smiles, even thought she could see the strain in it. It had taken a lot to stand up to his brother and call him out on his bullshit. They had both believed he had stepped up, and the growing feeling that he had fell off the wagon again was hurting both of them.
The younger Dixon leaned over, placing a kiss on her forehead. She squeezed his hand, and then he was leaving. He turned back as he paused in the doorway. "I will be back." And then he was gone.
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It wasn't long after he left that they decided to induce her. She was excited to see her baby, to find out the gender, but she really wasn't prepared for the pain of her contractions. Nora was usually very good with pain, but this, this was the worst she had ever felt. The times her father had beat the shit out of her as a kid didn't even come close to this.
Christa had come in and talked to her after Daryl left and she was holding her hand through the latest contraction when she heard a commotion from the hallway. It was right as the pain was ebbing away she was able to hear Merle's voice distinctly. His voice was one that couldn't be mistaken for someone else. The thing that shocked Nora was that he sounded completely sober.
"Let him in." Nora's voice sounded better than she felt, and it wasn't long before her boyfriend-she didn't like this term, it didn't seem special enough for having a baby together, but they weren't engaged and she couldn't think of anything better-came flying into the room.
The expression on his face as he saw her was apologetic mixed with a hundred more emotions. She was still stunned by his sudden appearance, and that he was sober. She could tell right away that this would be one of those moments where Merle suprised her by being open, somewhat sensitive, and entirely unlike, well, Merle.
"I'm sorry." He had pulled the chair up close and had taken her hand. His blue eyes stared at her with a thousand apologies and a tenderness she had only seen once before. She could see the shame he felt, and the suffering he was putting himself through. The wetness in his eyes as he took her in.
Every ounce of anger and disappointment she felt disipated as she took in all of these things. The fact he was showing her all this, being so open with her, even without words, made her forgive him for everything he had put her through. Because for Merle, this was the hardest thing for him to do. He had spent a lifetime building up walls to keep people out, a lifetime of hiding from his feelings and past.
"I shoulda been here. I shoulda known."
"You're here now." That was all she really needed to say. Her and Merle weren't the outwardly sentimental type by nature. They both had a history of neglective and abusive parents, and other people that have had the same experience would understand the need to push away your emotions. Because with abusive parents, you cannot show them any weakness, and that type of thing carries on into adulthood, 'cause you never learned to deal with them properly.
"I didn't get the messages from work. I was out roadside and didn't have my phone." Merle wasn't one to explain himself, and the fact he was trying to get her to understand made her melt even more.
"It's okay." Her voice was soft as she laced their fingers together. The rest of what she was going to say was cut off by another burst of pain and Daryl came bolting into the room as she cried out.
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When the word 'complications' was spoken both Dixons looked ready to strangle the doctor as he beat around the bush explaining what was going on. They were out in the hall, away from Nora who was with the nurse, in between contractions at the moment.
Finally, he said: "We're going to perform a Cesarean Section, it is the only way to insure both Nora and the baby's health."
For a moment, Daryl and Merle were quiet, taking this in. Then they were both bombarding him with questions and demanding answers. Finally, the doctor seemed to get fed up of this.
"Be Quiet!" Dr. Barlow turned to Merle. "I am going to try my best to get Nora and your baby through this birth safely. The fact she has untreated pre-eclampsia is a definite risk factor. Her giving a natural birth is now out of the question. I was just informing you of my decision, there is no other way to do this. Now, if you can let do my job, I will inform the anesthesiologist and we can get to it." Seeing the two Dixons were practically shell-shocked, Dr. Barlow smirked before walking off.
It wasn't fifteen minutes later that Nora was in the operating room, completely numb but also startlingly aware of her midsection being cut open.She could feel herself being moved and jerked around by the scalpel cutting into her. She couldn't feel any pain, and the twenty-five, thirty minute surgery seemed to fly by.
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Nora had never been happier. She was holding her baby girl- yes, a girl, Merle owed her and Daryl ten dollars- Merle and Daryl sitting on either side of her. Daryl was nodding off but Merle was wide awake. They were both looking down at the newborn, who was fast asleep. She was healthy, and pretty big for being close to one month early. She was seven pounds and two ounces. Merle and Daryl had both been big babies as well, so she figured it came from their side of the family, as she herself had been a small baby, five pounds and four ounces.
"We're not naming her Merryl." Nora said strongly, even if she was fighting back a smile.
Merle gave a fake look of indignation."Well why not?"
"We're just not." The woman said, running a finger over a little tuft of bright orange hair on her baby's head. Merle had said she looked just like her, but even now she could see some of his features, even if they were subtle. She was hoping their daughter would have his eyes, she loved blue eyes. "How about Lauren?"
Merle shook his head. "Nah, one of my exes was named Lauren."
Nora bit her lip in thought. "Keira?"
Her boyfriend simply shook his head again.
"Well, what name do you like?" She asked. They had talked about names before, a few times. They could never agree on one.
"How about-" There was a short pause. "Emma?"
Eleanore looked back down at their little girl and smiled. "Emma... That's your name. Welcome to the world, Emma."
For once, the future ahead of her and Merle seemed bright. She could actually picture it, something she'd never been able to do before with their relationship. She could picture little Emma, five years old and playing in Eleanor's back yard, picking a flower from the garden-Nora's always wanted to plant a garden- and smiling brightly as she presents her momma with it. Yeah, their future could be great.
Nora looks over at Merle-just about the same time he looks at her-and smiles before leaning towards him. He meets her and even though it's chaste, it was one of the best kisses they'd ever shared, in her opinion.