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“Stupid, stupid.. useless.. useless”, Victoria trembled in her own words as she dropped on her bed, sobbing uncontrollably.
They just had another Adventure, she, Jamie and the doctor, and what did she do? She felt anxious.
She felt helpless. She didn’t help at all! What could she even do? She was just a scared little girl, every time they encounter some kind of danger, what did she do first? Felt scared. Felt anxious. Felt.. helpless.
Victoria punched her bed angrily, as her sobbing continues, “Why can’t you be more heroic..”, she asked herself in an accusing tone, as if it was so easy. It was easy for the doctor and for Jamie, why isn’t it so easy for her? What does she wrong? Why can’t she be not scared? She didn’t know. And for that? She felt idiotic. No, like a moron. “Stupid.. stupid..”, she repeated to herself, feeling useless. Not long after that, her crying was so strong that any words she might mutter were barely audible to anybody, and especially to her.
Her sobbing stopped for a moment as she hears a knock at her door, “Victoria, are you alright? I believe I heard something?”, the gentle, soft voice of the Doctor asked.
Victoria felt foolish for even crying, “I am.. okay”, she lied, even just by her voice, you could tell she cried her eyes puffy.
The Doctor was unsure what to do at first, “Are you quite sure?”
“I am sure..”, she lied again, not wanting the doctor to see her like this.
“Do you mind if I come in?”
Victoria could almost feel her heartbeat stop, “I.. don’t know..”, she said, now she’s done it, if he saw her like this, what would he even say? ‘Oh I always knew you are a stupid-scared teenager’ or worse. She bit her lips, before replying again, “Come in..”, she said out loud in defeat.
The Door opened, and the Doctor looked both surprised and not surprised at all about Victoria’s puffy red eyes. “May I sit down?”, he asked her as he closes the Door.
Victoria just nodded. For a moment neither of them really knew what to say, before the doctor cleared his throat, “You have cried a lot, is there a Reason?”
“I..”, she trembled in her voice, “Oh Doctor, look at me! I am a stupid-scared girl, useless”, she simply exclaimed as she slowly starts to get watery again, “I mean what can I do? Scream my lungs out? Run away?”
The Doctor gave her a sympathetic smile, “That’s not true, Victoria”
“Is it not? Look at me? I am a mess”, she said, before crying yet again.
Victoria’s sobbing began yet again, every attempt of her to speak was hardly audible to both her & the Doctor, “I..”, she stumbled a lot on her own words, “Stupid.. girl.. stupid”
“That’s not true, Victoria.”
“Look at me..”, her voice trembling again, “Is this not what a coward looks like?”
The Doctor gave a sympathetic look, “No, a coward would have never helped to defeat the yetis or help against Salamander, not to mention all the other foes!”
“You and Jamie did all the work..”
“Did we? Well if we didn’t have you, I am pretty sure me and lovely Jamie would have been quite in trouble. Face it, Victoria, while you might be scared, that doesn’t make you a coward or even useless as you put it.”
“And what I am then?”
The Doctor took her in his arms, “Scared? Perhaps. But you are also kind, dear Victoria. I am so sorry if either of us made you feel like you were nothing, you are of course more than that, you are everything to me & Jamie, you are.. family.”
Her crying didn’t quite stop, but it slowed down as the Doctor spoke to her, “Doctor..”
“Hm?”
“Thank you..”, she said as she hugged him back.
“Oh no, you don’t have to thank me!”
“You calmed down..”
“Oh no, I shouldn’t think so, you did it yourself and besides..”, he cleared his throat, “We all have our moments where we just want to cry it all out, don’t we?”
“Even you?”
“Even me”, the Doctor said with a sad smile, “Sometimes crying can help, you know? But more importantly.. I hope you know you can talk to me if anything bothers you, remember that, Victoria? I don’t want you to feel like the weakling, never ever.”