Work Text:
He's always done this to protect himself. He's hidden away, refused to connect with others. Other than Alix, she's special. He trusts her.
Nobody can hurt him if nobody gets close to him. He needs to keep people away, never interact with them, never let anyone get near.
Nobody can mock him if nobody knows anything about him. He needs to hide what he loves from everyone; from his classmates, from his teachers, from his mother.
Nobody can bully him if nobody can tell he's there. He needs to stay hidden, be invisible, disappear from everyone's radar.
He's always done this to protect himself. It keeps him safe.
Safe behind these walls.
It worked. Nobody saw him.
Nobody noticed him arrive. Nobody noticed him leave.
Nobody cared that he wasn't there.
He thought he was free; free from the public eye, free from unwanted attention, free from being a victim. He thought it was safe there to explore his hobbies.
But now, after letting someone else inside, he has to wonder.
How could he have ever been free in a cage that he built for himself?
How could he truly explore himself if he never left the sanctity of his created mental walls?
It will take time to break down all the barriers he created.
Sometimes he'll put one back up on instinct. It's difficult to break old habits, especially when they kept him safe.
But he doesn't need to completely encase himself in this bubble.
Being safe isn't his main concern now. He's been safe for so long. Too long.
He knows what it's like to be accepted. To have someone there without a barrier, and be completely fine.
He wants that. He wants to take down all his walls, one by one.
Eventually, Nathaniel would be free.
Eventually.