Work Text:
Knock-knock-knock
“S’ unlocked.”
Click!
The door was slowly pushed forward, the tall, muscular frame of Hama entering, one hand on the door, the other balancing a tray containing rice and water. “Hey.” His voice was softer than normal, like he’s attempting to comfort a frightened animal.
“Hey…” Tsuno meanwhile, felt less like a frightened animal and more like a danger to others, one wrong move and the demonologist would be on the receiving end of her wrath.
He took slow, careful steps as he approached, until he placed the tray on the ground, taking a seat next to her. “Here.”
“Thanks.” The smell of freshly cooked rice made her stomach growl with hunger, but she made no moves towards the tray, choosing to keep her hands gripping her knees.
The nausea bubbling in her gut made her feel like she wouldn’t really be able to keep much down anyways.
She wondered how long the silence would last, she certainly wasn’t going to speak up, Hama didn’t look like he would either, not wanting to say anything that’d upset her. “So…” Eventually though, one of them had to, and well, Hama’s used to taking risks. “This morning was kind of rough.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Tsuno mumbled, wincing at the ache in her throat.
“You kind of have to though.” He pointed out. “It’s not healthy to let that stuff bottle up, otherwise you’ll explode.” Again, but that part was left unsaid.
She wishes he wasn’t right though. “I’m sorry…” Tsuno curls herself further into a ball, wanting to make herself look as small as possible. “I won’t do it again.” It’s something she’ll have to repeat to everyone else, especially…
“No one’s blaming you for getting mad.” Hama interrupts that spiral before it can properly begin. “Everybody saw Okazaki was pushing your buttons, you don’t have to apologize for getting upset at her.” For someone who wasn’t there during the incident, he certainly knew quite a lot.
Maybe he asked Chiba or Watari for details, since both of them were present to witness Tsuno lose her cool all of a sudden at the mask artisan, shouting at a volume they had never heard before, her face red with anger.
Tsuno tries to not hate a lot of things but she hates feeling angry, she doesn’t even know why she had gotten so mad, it’s not the first time someone’s brought up her past misdeeds, yet Okazaki had been able to upset her when she did.
Maybe it’s because of the way she said it, in a cruel, mocking tone that no matter what Tsuno did or who she helped, she’d never be able to completely bury her sins, they’d always be visible to someone.
She remembers the anger boiling when Okazaki brought up her past self so carelessly, the taunting words just made it uncontainable. “I should’ve kept trying to walk away.”
“From what Airi told me-” Yep. She called it, it was either Chiba or Watari, the latter probably giving the mask artisan a scorching hot scolding befitting of her fiery talent for her part to play in the incident. “She didn’t give you much of a choice.”
“I did have a choice on not snapping at the closest person who tried calming me down.” That’s the part she’s most ashamed of, not the fact that Okazaki made her angry, or that she ended up yelling at her…
But the fact she ended up yelling at the person who saw her distress and wanted to try and prevent her from saying something she’d end up regretting, only to end up being on the receiving end of those regretful shouts.
“You’re gonna have to apologize to them.”
“I know.” She just didn’t want to see anyone right now, too worried that the anger she despised would still be crawling through her veins, lashing out at a new victim.
As if Hama read her mind, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up for it, it’s hard to keep your temper in check when there’s an asshole trying to set you off.” Despite the truth in his words, she still feels ashamed for letting herself fly off the handle the way she did, until he spoke again. “It’s happened to me a couple times and it sucks, the best thing you can do is try to get yourself away from the person antagonizing you, but it doesn’t always work.”
“Who’d wanna make you mad though?” Not to say Hama’s scary or anything, but he does have the appearance of someone who’s bad side you do not want to get on.
Unfortunately, the stormy look in his eyes told her a different story. “Jerks in my school who thought it’d be funny to get me to pick a fight with them, because if I did, then I’d get sent back to juvie.”
The news that Hama was out of juvie on parole was known, yet a barely spoken fact in the school, so hearing him say it so casually shocked the superhero. “And… the teachers did nothing?” That oh-so familiar yet loathsome anger began to bubble, but for different reasons than before.
Hama shrugged. “Eh, most of them just told me to ignore it or to stop ‘scaring’ my classmates, like it’s my fault they feel like picking a fight.”
“That’s awful.” She knew teachers could be uncaring to the struggles of their students, but to put the blame on Hama?
Hama, who was one of the sweetest guys she knew, who’d give you his jacket on a rainy day, who’d check up on you if you weren’t feeling well, who was so passionate about his interests and didn’t even charge the people he helped with his demonologist skills.
Before Tsuno knew it, she had gotten up to her feet, and started pacing her room. “Like, what the hell is their problem?! They seriously were letting those people try and get you in trouble? That’s straight-up harassment and they should’ve done something instead of blaming you and if I ever see a single one of those students who tried getting you back into juvie I swear I’m gonna-”
Then she froze, recognizing the bubbling anger growing in her chest, seeing Hama’s surprised reaction to her ranting. “I’m, I’m sorry.” She had done it again, didn’t she?
You’d think she’d learn her lesson by now…
He quickly approached, pulling her into a hug. “Hey don’t get upset at yourself, it happened a long time ago.” His voice was like a soothing balm against those raging burns. “I didn’t think you’d get this angry.”
“Of course I’d get angry!” She’d always get upset hearing someone she cared for going through something horrible that could’ve, should’ve been stopped. “Those people shouldn’t have tried picking fights with you and your teachers should’ve done something instead of putting the blame on you!”
Glancing up at Hama, she saw his face turning a slight shade of pink. “Thanks Manami.” He certainly looked more comfortable talking about the subject after seeing how protective she got. “It did really suck and I hated how angry I got when my classmates tried picking fights, I don’t like getting angry either.”
That’s certainly something they had in common. “It feels like you hurt people when you’re angry, doesn’t it?”
Hama nodded. “Yeah, it took me a while to stop beating myself up for getting angry, you can’t be the perfect picture of calm all the time, sometimes you slip up, you just have to learn how to live with your anger.”
She didn’t think it was possible for her, so many bad memories were associated with her temper. All she could think about were all the ways she used to hurt people when she was angry over unnecessary issues and things she genuinely shouldn’t have gotten angry about.
But Hama’s words did give her a hope that maybe one day, in the future, she wouldn’t feel a sense of shame or disgust with herself whenever she felt that oh-so familiar anger in her veins.
“Thanks Ran.” She leaned forward, standing on her tippy toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “I’m glad one of us can keep their cool.”
“If you’re saying that, you didn’t see me when I got to the end of Go Go Nozawa.” He joked.
It landed and she giggled. “To be fair… The ending of that one could’ve been better.” Not that she read Go Go Nozawa but she’s heard enough of Wada and Hama’s rantings of the series to get a good grasp on the plot and characters.
“Damn right it should’ve!” And just like that, all was well. “You know it’s fine to get angry, right?” Although Hama had one last thing to say.
Tsuno nodded. “I know… I just don’t wanna snap at people when I’m angry.”
“That’s something we can figure out together.” He picked up the tray off of the ground, handing it back to her. “C’mon, you should eat before it gets cold.”
Without the nausea and shame filling her stomach, it felt quite empty and she’d prefer filling it with food instead of negative emotions. “Right, thank you.” She felt her face warm up while she held the tray, sitting down on her bed. “Do you mind uh, sticking around a little longer?” His company always made her feel calm.
Hama simply took a seat next to her. “I’ll stay for as long as you want me to.”
“Thanks Ran.” She smiled, feeling a warmth in her chest, one that didn’t bring her unease when she felt it. “Love you.”
“Love you too.” Maybe she wouldn’t be able to rid herself of angry storms as much as she’d like,
but maybe one day, she’ll be able to weather it without feeling ashamed of the rain soaking her form.