Chapter Text
It was another late night for both Huang Shaotian and Yu Wenzhou, they had only just found the time to be able to sit down and have dinner in the privacy of the captain’s room. With all the preparations and the start of the championship, getting time alone was hard to come by. But the stress had started to put a strain on their relationship, even now when they were alone; Shaotian could feel the rising tension in the room.
Huang Shaotian knew that a serious relationship would never be easy for his career as an Esports player, even more so considering that he was dating the captain of his team. He knew that they both felt the pressures of keeping their relationship secret from the public eye, and he worried every day that one day they would be found out. And he loved Yu Wenzhou so dearly, his boyfriend understood him more than anyone ever had.
But he knew in his heart that maybe they were both delaying the inevitable, and if he knew that then surely Wenzhou knew it too; his captain wasn’t one of the master tacticians for nothing. If it was time to let Yu Wenzhou go for the sake of the team, then he would do that; even if the idea of them calling it off broke his heart. Team Blue Rain was so important to both Huang Shaotian and Yu Wenzhou, they both wanted to protect it and each other.
Huang Shaotian let out a sigh, at some point he knew that they were going to have to talk about this. Yu Wenzhou looked up at him with concern in his eyes and Shaotian gave him a weak smile in return. “I’m ok captain, just thinking.” He said trying to play it off, his boyfriend didn’t look convinced; Shaotian didn’t really know who he was kidding anymore. They both knew that he wasn’t okay, that neither of them were okay.
Once they had finished dinner Huang Shaotian was preparing to leave but Yu Wenzhou stopped him. “Wait Shaotian, we need to talk about this.” He’d said, Shaotian felt his heart sink in his chest. He knew it was coming, but he didn’t know if he would ever feel truly ready for this conversation. Shaotian turned to face his captain, as he tried to get to grips with the emotional turmoil within his mind.
“I agree, we do need to talk.” Shaotian said, proud of himself that his voice didn’t completely break even if he felt like his heart was about to. He watched as Yu Wenzhou went to his seat and gestured for Shaotian to sit also, he sat down opposite his captain; as he braced himself for the inevitable conversation. He could see in Yu Wenzhou’s face that he was also having difficulty in even bringing it up.
“I don’t think there’s ever going to be an easy way to say this, but I think that this isn’t working out anymore.” Yu Wenzhou said, as Shaotian let the words wash over him. “We’ve both been trying to make it work for a long time, and all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy.” His captain continued with a pained expression. “But I can’t give you that happiness if we always have to live in secret to protect the team.” He added, as Shaotian let out a breath.
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you too Wenzhou, but I know I also can’t give you that happiness. So if we have to call this off, then I understand.” Shaotian said as he reached over to place his hand over Yu Wenzhou’s. “I care about you and love you so much, but I’ve always known that Team Blue Rain comes first. So… if I have to let you go, then I can accept that.” Shaotian said, giving his captain a brave smile.
“Shaotian…” Yu Wenzhou seemed at a complete loss for words, as he returned Shaotian’s smile. “I also love you so much, I wish that things could be different.” He said as they both pulled their hands away. “I just hope that the two of us can always be friends, even if we can’t be together like we both want.” He added with a sad smile on his face before getting to his feet, Shaotian also stood up.
“I’ll always be your best friend captain, I don’t want that to change either.” Shaotian said as he tried his hardest to hold back from crying, but he wouldn’t let himself cry until he was alone. He didn’t want them to end with them both in tears, he had to let their relationship go with a smile and then he could let himself fall apart. He walked closer to his captain as they both embraced each other one last time, it was time for them to move forward.
As the two of them said their goodbyes, Shaotian managed to hold it completely together until he got to his room. As he closed the door he immediately got into his bed, as the tears started to stream down his cheeks. Letting out every emotion for all the nights they sat in silence avoiding the topic, and the fact that he knew it was over. He cried for himself, for Yu Wenzhou; and for the uncertainty of his own future.
After a while the tears began to stop, as Shaotian lay there in his bed; he knew that there was no way that he was going to be able to sleep that night. While he was glad that there was no fight when they ended their relationship, that they had handled everything maturely. It didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt that they couldn’t be together anymore. But he knew in his heart that it was the right decision for both of them.